Chapter 54 Everett #2
Sin picks up my bag and her clothes, following me out of the room to our cars parked outside.
He opens the passenger door for me, and I place her in the seat.
Her head rolls to one side, and I reach up, removing my hoodie and shoving it next to her head to lie on and then recline her seat.
Closing the door, I remove my cell from my pocket and call up a friend.
“Hey, man. What’s—”
“I need to crash at your apartment,” I rush out, interrupting him. “And you can’t tell anyone I’m there.”
“Of course,” Tyson answers.
“On my way.” I immediately go to my contacts and call up the next.
“Kash?” he answers on the first ring.
“I need you to meet me at Blackout. Eve needs an IV.” When Bill says she needed fluids, I knew what to do. Gavin can give it to her. She’ll be opening those beautiful eyes and looking at me in no time.
“I’ll be there in twenty.”
I open my eyes to the sound of the club below us. It’s dark in the room other than the glow from the TV. Lifting my head, I blink a few times until my vision clears and see that Eve is still in my arms, and she’s sound asleep, softly snoring.
Pulling my arm out from underneath her, I roll onto my back. Fuck, I’m sweating. Her body puts off so much heat when she sleeps. I get out of bed, dressed in nothing but my boxer briefs, and make my way to the bathroom to take a piss.
After I’m done, I wash my hands and walk back through the bedroom, out the door, and to the hallway. I need a cigarette. Making my way to the kitchen, I grab my bag and unzip the front pocket and then step out on the balcony to light one up with my cell in hand.
I’ve had it turned off since I got the text about Dollhouse. Sin keeps me updated on Carnage and tells me that my brothers are going mad wondering where I am. Especially since Haidyn knows I’m with Eve.
He thinks I’m hiding her from him. I am, but that’s beside the point.
Once she’s my Lady, he can’t do shit to her.
I’ll have control. Physically, mentally, medically.
Until the day I die. Then it’s up to whoever I choose to leave as her guardian.
I would have chosen Haidyn before. Now I’m not so sure.
I bring the cigarette to my lips, thinking about what she said to me before she fell asleep.
She wanted me to fuck her. The sad part is I wanted to, but I’m afraid it’s too soon and I’ll scare her.
I never want to see her shaking while she cowers on the floor because she thinks I’m going to hurt her. Not like that.
“Kash?”
I turn to see her standing in the living room, eyes heavy and the bedsheet wrapped around herself. I put out my cigarette and step inside. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“You didn’t.” She yawns and opens the sheet to let me in, and my eyes fall over her naked body.
She has some bruising where the restraints held her down while she fought, but it’s not bad.
Nothing that won’t be gone in a few more days.
Gavin checked her thigh and changed her dressing when he stopped by to give her the IV.
He said it was healing nicely. “The music downstairs is loud.”
“Come on. I’ll tuck you back in.”
She pulls away, taking a step back, and I pause, watching the way her gaze drops to the floor.
This is why I didn’t fuck her. She’s not ready. I want her to be feisty and throwing punches at my face, not cowering at the sight of me.
Swallowing, she glances up at me through her lashes, and I search her face to try and read her thoughts, but there’s nothing there. Just pretty green nothing—blankness.
“Talk to me, angel.”
“Do you really want to marry me?”
Without a doubt. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“What if I told you that you don’t know everything about me?”
“I’d tell you I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready to share.” I don’t think she knows everything about herself. The fact that she couldn’t remember that Evan raped her told me what I need to know. She’s suppressed so much of her past, there’s no telling what happened to her.
“I…” She looks away and takes in a shaky breath. “I can’t give you kids.”
I frown, confused, because she knows that I’m aware of this. She told me and a room full of Lords at Blackout.
“I was raped and got pregnant,” she whispers, and my stomach knots at her confession.
Fuck. Eve doesn’t know that I’m aware of what the Spade brothers did to her. What my father did to her.
“You know my biological father is Garrett Reeves, but what you don’t know is that he raped me.” Wrapping the sheet tighter around herself, she continues. “He and all of the Spade brothers’ fathers raped me.”
I swallow the lump in my throat for the horror she’s been through and the fact that she’s finally opening up to me.
“They tried to get me pregnant for years,” she sniffs, and I want to wrap my arms around her, but I cross them over my chest and stay where I’m at.
“When I finally did…my father told me that if it was a girl…he’d set it on fire,” Eve chokes out.
“But then he changed his mind and said that he hoped I had a girl so she could be useful—give him what I couldn’t.
He was going to rape her…” Placing her hand over her mouth, she begins to sob.
“But a boy would give him another chance. He’d force him to fuck me… maybe he’d have better luck…”
I can’t hold back. I rush to her and wrap her trembling body in my arms. “I’m so sorry, Eve.” But it won’t matter. They’re just words. They can’t change her past or her feelings.
She pulls away, and I allow it, brushing some wild strands of blond hair from her tear-streaked face. “My father had a man come and pick me up…take me somewhere…”
“To where?” I wonder. I already know the piece of shit is dead.
She shakes her head and sniffs. “I didn’t know who he was or where he was taking me, but I saw an opportunity.” Her red-rimmed eyes find mine. “I had to do it.” She swallows. “I couldn’t…wouldn’t let the Lords ruin another innocent life. I had to protect my baby.”
“I know, Eve,” I assure her. I’d never judge her for her past.
“I saw a chance at finally ending it all.” She closes her eyes tightly before opening them.
“So I forced us to crash.” She blinks and fresh tears fall from her swollen eyes.
“I would go with my baby. If there was an afterlife, we’d go together.
I couldn’t imagine—” She licks her lips nervously.
“But I lived.” Her eyes meet mine and they plead for me to understand why she chose to do what she did. “Why?” Her voice cracks.
“Eve—”
“We were supposed to die together.” Her lips tremble. “I was supposed to protect my child.” She sobs. “And I knew I couldn’t do that—”
Wrapping my arms around her once again, I place my chin on the top of her head.
“I…lived.” The regret that she survived is evident in her voice.
“Listen to me, Eve.” I pull back and cup her tear-streaked face in both of my tatted hands. “Quit blaming yourself. It wasn’t your fault. None of it.” My girl was trapped. A kid imprisoned in a hell who was used only to breed.
Pushing me away, she steps back. “Don’t you see the problem?” she growls.
I frown, confused by her change of tone. “Eve…”
“I can’t give you children,” she shouts.
My frown deepens, and she snorts, rolling her watery eyes.
“I didn’t know how to feel after I found out I survived. We were both supposed to die. We were supposed to be together in another universe where no one could hurt us. Where parents love and protect their children. I wanted that. A different life. A dad and mom who loved me.”
“I love you,” I tell her. “You’re going to be my wife.
I’m going to vow to take care of you, to love you and to protect you.
I promise you that no one will ever touch you again.
” She looks away from me. “Kids don’t matter to me.
You matter to me.” She frowns as if that’s a concept she can’t accept.
“You asked me if I had a life, and I said I was looking at it. You are what I’m looking at, angel.
You’re who I see when I close my eyes at night, and you will be the last person I see before I leave this world.
I’m going to spend every day I have left devoting my life to you because you are the one I want. ”
“You still don’t get it,” she whispers, shaking her head.
“Explain it to me. Tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.” It’s not the first time I’ve told her that. All I need is for her to tell me how I can make it better.
“I had to learn to be okay with what I did. Because I survived, I had to live with my choices. My mistakes. But you came along and changed that.”
She’s right. I didn’t understand what she was trying to tell me, but now I do.
She wants to give me a family. She’s tried to commit suicide twice that I know of, and now she wants to live.
I’ve forced myself into her life and have her hating herself for the choices she made.
“What do you want, Eve?” I ask her. Wanting to hear the words. Pushing her a little more.
“I want to give you a family,” she whispers, as if ashamed to admit that.
“I want babies. I want baseball practice at five and cheerleading at six. I want a messy home and happy kids. I want you to call in sick on a random Monday because you want to take our family to an overpacked water park.” She gives a small smile, picturing that thought before lowering her voice.
“I want a second chance. I want to break the cycle.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
Her face falls and she sighs. “That’s impossible, Kash.”
“We’ll adopt,” I tell her. “As many kids as you want. Hell, we can have our own baseball team if you’d like.”
She laughs like I’m joking, and it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. She’s already getting back to herself.
“I’m serious, Eve. Anything you want. I’ll give it to you.” I will make it happen.