26. Chapter 26
Chapter 26
Tessa
I stepped beneath the warm water of the shower, staring at the tiles in a daze while I tried to process what happened with Finn.
To say I was disoriented after the spectacular pleasure he gave me at the lake would be an understatement. My pussy still throbbed when I thought about the way Finn worked my body, his skilled ministrations sending me to a plane of ecstasy I was entirely unaware existed.
When my arousal began to wane, my thoughts turned to our time in the water before we crossed that line.
I was wary of the frigid lake, but the way Finn described the complete and utter peace it gave him drew me in. Since I would take every ounce of peace I could get my hands on, I trusted him and walked into the water despite my better judgment.
When I dropped beneath the surface, my lungs burned, and I was positive I couldn’t stay there. But just when I was about to stand up and head back to shore, it hit. A feeling of absolute serenity washed over me. My mind slowed, and for the first time I could remember, I was able to focus on a single thought at a time instead of the hyperspeed my brain normally operated at. The tension in my muscles eased, and nothing could hurt me.
In the end, Finn was right. Tolerating the cold water wasn’t an experience I wanted to have daily, but I would be eternally grateful for those stolen moments of peace he gave me. When I broke the surface, his intense stare was focused on me, and the distinct sensation I was home filled me at the sight of his handsome face.
Then he kissed me, and my body ignited in a way I hadn’t known it was capable of. Logically, I should have been shivering while my skin turned blue, and yet the air around us almost felt warm. But that was nothing compared to the inferno he lit within me. Finn touched me like he possessed a direct connection to my deepest desires. He knew exactly what I needed, when I needed it, even when I didn’t know myself.
And that climax.
My pulse sped up while I relived the absolute bliss that flooded my body when he finally allowed me to fall over the cliff.
I was still coming back down from the high when Finn steered us back to shore, my mind hazy from the rush of endorphins. We dressed in silence while my brain emerged from the fog, and my insecurities set in.
Just as I was about to retreat inside my head, Finn took my hand, lacing our fingers together before walking toward the trail. That simple touch grounded me and slowed my racing thoughts. We didn’t speak on the way home, and I was surprised by how little it bothered me.
After I got out of the shower, the exhaustion from lack of sleep combined with the events of the morning exceeded my emotional bandwidth. I told myself I would take a quick power nap before breakfast as I crawled under the covers and immediately passed out.
I woke several hours later to find Finn in his office with the door closed. Wandering into the kitchen, I found a plate of the French Toast that was quickly becoming my favorite breakfast food in the fridge with my name on it. After devouring the food with fervor, I let Luka outside to run around before settling in the chair next to the fireplace with my latest selection from Finn’s library.
Completely lost in the world between the pages, I almost failed to notice the faint creaking of the floorboards. Looking up, I found Finn leaning against the doorway, his brow furrowed and a look of intense concentration on his face.
Oh God, did he regret what we did? What remained of my breakfast churned in my stomach while I conjured scenario after scenario of what he was about to say. Did he think it was a mistake? That I should find another place to live? Or that it shouldn’t happen again?
God, I hoped it wasn’t the last one.
Finn strode to the chair a few feet across from me and sat down. He rested his calf on his other knee and continued studying me.
The silence stretched. Unable to take it any longer, I blurted, “Just say it.”
The groove between Finn’s eyebrows deepened. “Say what?”
“Whatever is causing that look on your face.”
He continued to stare at me. My breathing increased as I began crafting contingency plans. I was about to start my box breathing when he spoke.
“I want to take you out on a date.”
Convinced I misheard him, I shook my head slightly and replayed his words in my mind.
Nope, that was absolutely what he said.
My jaw slackened at the man before me who could have any woman he wanted on the planet. He wanted to date me ?
The brain malfunction I was experiencing must have shown in my expression because Finn chuckled before shifting so his elbows rested on his knees and he leaned toward me.
“I’ve spent the day in my office attempting to accomplish something, anything really. But the only thing I’ve actually done, is come to the conclusion I would like to date you.”
I swallowed hard around the lump suddenly forming in my throat. “Finn, if this is about this morning…” I trailed off, unsure what the end of that sentence was. My hands began to wind along the hem of the shirt while my eyes focused on the flames in the fireplace.
He shifted in my periphery, and I startled when his warm palm cradled my face. A soft smile graced his chiseled face. “Tessa, make no mistake. I’ve been fighting the urge to do what we did this morning for weeks. It was without a doubt one of the best moments of my entire life. And while I admit I am hoping for more of it in the future, this request has nothing to do with that.”
I stared at Finn’s face when he spoke, floored by the earnestness and sincerity reflected back at me. Finally starting to believe I wasn’t dreaming, I pressed my cheek against his hand and allowed him to finish.
“I’m asking you to go on a date with me because over the last several weeks, thoughts of you have infiltrated almost every waking moment. I tried to distract myself. I tried leaving you alone as much as possible,” he confessed as I remembered those few days after his family dinner when he seemed to avoid me. “But I came to the conclusion I am simply not strong enough to stay away from you.”
My heart thrashed inside my chest. If this was a dream, I prayed I never woke up.
“So, Tessa Devereaux, I would very much like to take you on a date. Not because I feel obligated or because I have nothing else to do,” he added as if he could read my mind. “But because you fascinate me. When I’m around you, I feel a sense of rightness I’ve never truly experienced before.” The lines around his eyes tightened briefly. “I did everything I could to fight it. I told myself you weren’t ready, that you needed more time, if you were even interested in me at all. But I think this morning proved you’re ready.”
He didn’t think I would be interested in him? Man, guys really were dense sometimes.
His gaze became reverent while it swept across my face. “You were exquisite this morning, Tessa,” he whispered, his words soothing parts of my subconscious I didn’t realize still needed it. “The way you trusted me and let yourself go was truly spectacular. I thought of nothing else all day, and I think we’re ready for this…but only if you want it, too.”
His statement hung in the air, and I was struck again by how different Finn and Daniel were. When Daniel wanted something, I was expected to provide it, no matter the personal cost. Yet Finn…he wanted me, but only if it was what I wanted.
I layered my palm against the giant hand pressed against my face. The idea that this man, this warrior felt powerless to stay away floored me.
“This morning…” I started before momentarily losing my nerve. “This morning, the way that you, that we …” I rolled my lips together, trying to figure out how to say this. The light crow’s feet around Finn’s eyes tightened at my words.
“I’ve never done that before,” I whispered. I closed my eyes, unsure if I wanted to see his reaction to my confession. The silence stretched between us while my pulse hummed with anxiety. Unable to take the quiet any longer, I opened my eyes to find him studying me.
He cleared his throat. “Are you saying that you’re a…that you’ve never…?” he trailed off. I laughed at myself when I realized what he was asking.
I smiled lightly and shook my head. “No. I’m not a virgin. But I’ve never experienced pleasure like that.”
Finn’s confusion grew at my statement. “You mean none of the men you’ve been with before ever brought you to orgasm?” The disbelief in his voice was evident.
My cheeks heated before I shook my head. “My ex is the only man I’ve ever been with. Whenever we were together, he was never really concerned about my enjoyment.” My voice trailed off as I replayed the last few times Daniel and I were together. He became progressively rougher over the last year, taking his anger out on me in the bedroom on the rare occasions we were intimate.
Closing my eyes, I refused to allow myself to dwell on the past.
When I met Finn’s gaze again, anger flickered behind his eyes. “Your ex is a prick,” he declared, the vehemence in his tone catching me by surprise.
I laughed lightly at his statement. “You won’t get any arguments from me.”
His voice turned gravelly. “You deserve so much more than what you’ve been given, Tessa.” The certainty in his voice caused tears to prick the back of my eyes.
He said all the right words, but if we were going to take a chance of this, there was one thing I needed to know. “Are you sure, Finn?” I murmured. “Are you sure you want to go down this road with me? I’m so much more broken than you realize,” I added, laying myself bare to the man who had slowly seeped into the fabric of my existence.
Indignation flared in Finn’s expression at my words. “You are not broken, Tessa,” his words were adamant. “The world may have caused you to bend, but you did not break. Don’t ever let anyone think they have that ability because you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for,” he declared with so much force I almost believed him.
Alas, self-doubt was a real bitch. But even if I didn’t necessarily agree with his analysis, I knew what I wanted.
This man never ceased to amaze me. And if by some miracle he wanted to date me, I’d be an idiot to turn him down. Even if we didn’t last, I’d always have the memory of our time together.
“Okay, Finn. Yes, let’s go on a date.”