Chapter 14- The Deal We Bleed For
Zarya's pov
My head hurts. Everything's too bright. I blinked slowly, its the ceiling, my ceiling. How...?
Last thing I remember was.... her, rain. Dark streets. Then nothing.
I try to sit up. Bad idea. My arms shake. napahiga ako ulit sa kama ko. My skin feels hot, like I'm burning up. basang basa ang damit ko. Did I walk here? No. My heels are by the door, clean. I never take them off that neat after party.
Someone left a bowl of water next to my bed. A cloth floats in it, still cold.
They wiped my face? Who? I don't remember voices. Don't remember hands carrying me. Was it Xylla?
Wait.
My legs, my arms. It has purple marks. tangina may pasa ako???
Did someone grab me? Or did I fall? Think, Zarya, think. Nothing comes. Just fog.
Who brought me home?
I close my eyes again, and refreshed my mind a bit.
Masakit parin ang ulo ko, probably because of that goddamn vodka. Nararamdaman ko rin ang init ng katawan ko.
I reached for the thermometer na nasa taas ng bedside table ko. I don't even know why it's in there, but who cares? I need to check my temperature.
"holy hot?!" I couldn't help but to react.
The fuck? 40.5°?? No wonder why I feel so weak right now.
I immediately opened my phone to call Xylla, but she already sent me a message.
__________________________________________________
So it was her.
I don't why I feel kinda... disappointed
I should be grateful, right? she saved me from death in the middle of the street.
I got up in bed after I heard my stomach growling in hunger. Well, I didn't had a dinner last night. Vodka at luha lang.
ay..
I've spent my day sleeping, and isolating in my room. I couldn't even eat properly, talagang sinusubok ako ng lagnat.
The whole day, 'yong chicken soup lang na ginawa ni Xylla ang nakain ko. I ordered some foods pero sinusuka ko lang din after a few bites. Wala rin naman akong appetite, pinipilit ko lang dahil alam kong hindi p'wede na hindi ako kumain.
I'm a Doctor, pero kapag ako na 'yong may sakit parang hindi ko kayang I apply sa sarili ko ang mga sinasabi ko sa mga pasyente.
"pasok po." I gave him a permission to enter.
"Kamusta pakiramdam mo? hinatid ka kagabi ni Doc Xylla, halos wala kang malay, nilalagnat ka pa. Pasensya ka na, nagabihan ako sa pag bisita sa'yo ha, graduation kasi ng anak ko. Okay ka lang, kamusta k—"
"Don't worry kuya Jun , I'm okay na po. 'wag na masyado mag alala." Kitang kita sa kanya ang pag-aalala, kaya minabuti ko nang sabihin na okay lang ako. Kahit ang totoo ay halos wala na akong lakas ngayon.
"sigurado ka?, gusto mo ba dito na lang ako matulog? sa sala na lang ako, para mabantayan kita." he insisted.
" 'wag na po, I'm na po. kahit papano bumababa na ang lagnat ko." I assured him, kahit hindi pa naman talaga bumababa ang lagnat ko.
I know he cares about me a lot, pero his family needs him more. Lalo na at kaka graduate lang ng anak n'ya.
"sige, kumain kana ba? ipagluto kita."
"no need po. pero may ipapabili sana ako sa'yo." I asked a favor, para kahit papano he won't feel bad that he didn't do anything.
"sige, teka lista ko sa cellphone ko." Nilabas n'ya ang phone n'ya.
"Pocari po, yung 1 liter." it's good for me especially when you have a high fever, most likely dehydrated ka talaga e.
"ito lang po?"
"yes, here. You can keep the change na lang" I handed him a 1,000 peso bill.
He smiled before he left, but I know for sure ibabalik n'ya yung sukli. He's not that type of person e.
I checked who's calling, and it was my Dad.
Took me some time to answer, should I or should I not? It's either he'll check on me, or scold me.
"Buonasera, papà." I greeted him a good evening. kahit hindi naman maayos ang gabi ko.
"Buonasera, Zara. Hai incontrato Ryan oggi?" Kapag nag i italian talaga, nawawala ang Y sa zarya ko.
(good evening, Zarya. Did you meet Ryan today?)
"I didn't." mag english na lang tayo, hirap kausap.
"Non hai visitato l'azienda, né il De Luca, nemmeno l'ospedale.
Cosa hai fatto allora? Non dirmi che hai appena sprecato un altro giorno per delle sciocchezze.
" there he goes. Sermon na naman, worst is in italian pa.
(You didn't visit the company, or the De Luca, even the hospital.
What did you do then? don't tell me you just wasted another day for some nonsense things.)
"I'm not feeling well." I answered coldly. The only explanation I could express.
"you better start your study with Ryan, as soon as possible."
he didn't even care.
"Si."
"and take good care of yourself." he said before dropping the call. He didn't even wait for my response, which made me think. Was that genuine? or he just feel bad.
After the call, napabuntong hininga na lang ako. I reached for my medicine, and glass of water. At first hesitant pa ako, dahil wala akong sapat na kain. But here goes nothing.
ang bilis naman ata bumalik ni Kuya Jun?
"zar? can I come in?" Oh... that's not Kuya Jun's voice.
It's Xylla's.
"Come in."
She opened the door, and walked towards me. She looks so concerned, I can see it on her face.
She touched my forehead. "Oh my God, you're so hot."
"I know right." I jokingly said. para naman mabawasan ang seryosong mukha n'ya.
she reached for the thermometer, and put it in my armpit.
"why didn't you call me, ang init mo na talaga." She asked, concerned.
"did you forget? I'm a Doctor as well." Kaya ko na ang sarili ko no, why do I need to bother anyone?
Kinuha n'ya ang thermometer after nito tumunog, para i check ang temperature ko.
"Zar?! 39.7 ka na" she was shocked. while I stayed calm.
"really? earlier it was 40.5" I shrugged my shoulders, what's the big deal?
"you little...freak. Have you take any meds?"
"yes."
"have you eaten?"
"yes."
"do you want me to stay a night here? sasama—"
"no."
She stared at me in disbelief. What?! bakit nila gusto matulog dito, ano magagawa nila? kakausapin ang lagnat ko na umalis na sana?
"Zar—"
"xy. It's okay, I can handle myself. Isa pa, diba 8pm start shift mo today? it's 7:30, you gotta go." medyo kabisado ko na ang schedules nila everyweek e.
"ye, but I can just contact Kiro na mag OT na lang muna s'ya." She insisted, nagmamatigas talaga.
"no, please. I'm perfectly fine, swear. I'm just waiting for kuya Jun, I asked him to buy me pocari."
"Okay, I'll leave....later. Samahan muna kita till kuya Jun arrives." she sat beside me.
She's just quiet, scrolling in her phone.
"Xy? how did you brought me home?" I asked.
"Chiara texted me to pick you up." she simply answered, no emotions or any reaction. Just her words.
"she did?"
"yeah, but even if she did not text me. I could still bring you home, safely." she looked and smiled at me.
" what do you mean?"
"well, you chased her. I chased after you. But don't worry, I was far enough. I didn't heard anything, I swear." she explained.
She seems to be telling the truth, and I get it.
Suddenly, I remembered what I did to her last night. I kissed her, and I want to apologize tonight.
"about last night....."
"hmmm?" She looked at me again, acting like she doesn't know what I nean.
"the kiss—"
"It's not the right time to talk about it, you need some rest. Besides, I get it. And I agreed for you to use me, no biggie." she gave me a sweet smile, and went back to her phone.
That smile. Yet I know something was wrong. We are friends, yes. I know using her is not right, of course. but why do I have this feeling na parang...okay sa kanya, but at the same time...parang hindi.
Too complicated.
"Doc, Xylla. Andito ka pala. Magandang gabi po." thankfully, kuya Jun arrived.
"Good evening din po." Xylla greeted him back.
Kuya Jun handed me the paper bag, I opened to check what's inside dahil parang hindi lang Pocari ang laman.
Yeah, I was right. There's some tuna sandwich, rice meal, biscuits, yacult, yogurt, and even some...candies???
"Kuya Jun, bakit naman may candy pa." I laughed, as I showed them the candies.
Xylla laughed as well, but kuya Jun just stared at me.
"akala ko kasi gan'yan parin ang gusto mo." the smile on his eyes disappeared.
"po?" did I said something wrong?
"wala, naalala ko lang noong bata ka pa. Kapag nagkakasakit ka, gusto mo lagi akong pinapatawag. Hihingi ka ng candy." He chuckled, but I saw the tears forming in his eyes. "Akala ko ganon parin ang gusto mo, kaya binili kita n'yan." he added.
It made me feel guilty, I laughed thinking it was some sort of joke or whatsoever.
I tried my best to stand up, and hug him. but I can't.
It was him who came up to me, he hugged me tightly. And I heard her silent little sob. He's crying.
"Kuya Jun naman e, you're making me cry." I said as he let go from my hug.
"Sige na, pahinga ka na d'yan. Anong oras na." he said, wiping his own tears.
"Umuwi ka na rin po, take a rest."
"hatid na po kita, Doc Xylla" He insisted.
"thank you po, but I have my car with me e. Sabay na lang ako sa'yo sa baba." Xylla rejected him.
Xylla hugged me tightly before leaving, she also left some medicine in my bedside cabinet.
"Call me, anytime." she said before finally closing the door.
I just feel so lucky being surrounded by people who loves me. I can't express how I feel, but I'm really grateful.
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2:05 A.M
I woke up, in pain.
The numbers on the clock glare red. My head feels like it's being squeezed, ang sakit tangina.
I quickly grab the thermometer to check my temperature, because I feel like I'm in fire right now.
41°C. "Shit," ang taas. the room spins when I sit up.
Medicine. Need medicine. But the drawer's hard to reach, my legs feel like wet cement. Hindi ko man lang magalaw ng maayos ang ulo ko, it feels so heavy.
I fumble for my phone. My hands shake so bad I almost drop it.
Kuya Jun. He'll answer. He has to. I hit call. It rings. And rings.
"Noo, please... answer," I whisper, squeezing the phone. Voicemail. I call again. Ring. Ring. Ring. Nothing. "Fuck!" I slam the phone down, tears hot in my eyes. Why now?? Fuck!
Xylla. Try Xylla. It's ringing, yet no answer. I called again, and again. Three calls. Straight to voicemail every time.
"Come ON," I rasp, throat burning. I open the group chat. I used the voice message.
"someone get me, 41° right now. Can't move." Send. No one replies. The last message is still that stupid meme from hours ago. They're all probably asleep. on duty, or I don't know. My chest tightens. What if I...
I drag myself sideways, reaching for the medicine drawer. My arm trembles, fingertips brushing the handle. almost there.....but my elbow buckles. I collapse back, gasping. The ceiling swirls. "Stupid". Should've called someone earlier. Should've—
Then I remembered her. The woman I promised not to bother again, Iris.
Would she...? doesn't matter, I had to. I dialed her number na nakasave parin sa contacts ko.
One right, just a few seconds.
she answered.
"Zarya?" Her voice is breathless, wide-awake. Keys clattering in the background.
"Iris, I—I'm really sick. Can't... can't move. No one's—"
"Where are you?" A door slams. her voice doesn't sound like she just woke up.
I wheeze out my address.
"Don't hang up. Stay on the line. I'm driving. Talk to me." Her voice cracks. "Zarya? ZARYA!"
"M'here,"I mumble, cheek pressed to the pillow, with my sweat soaks my shirt.
"Keep your eyes open. Do you hear me?" Tires screech. "Ten minutes. Just ten minutes."
"plot outside my gate..... there's—keys" I said, almost out of voice.
The phone slips from my hand. I stared at the ceiling, counting breaths. In. Out. In. Out.
Breathe in, breathe our. Zarya, you can do this. I cheered myself, knowing damn well I have no one right now.
I heard feet pound up stairs. "ZARYA!"
It's her.... It's Iris.
I tried to shout, but it comes out a whimper. The door crashes open. Iris stumbles in, hair wild, wearing mismatched socks and a hoodie. She freezes when she sees me, then drops to her knees beside the bed. Her hand touches my forehead. "Jesus," she hisses. "You're on fire."
She yanks the blanket off, wraps me in a thin jacket from the floor. "Can you stand? Try." I slump against her. She staggers but hooks an arm under my knees, heaving me up. "Okay. Okay. I've got you."
She carries me downstairs, arms shaking, breathing hard. She buckles me in, slams the gas.
"Stay awake," she ordered. gripping my hand. Her palm's sweaty. "keep your eyes open, Zarya."
At the ER, she shouts for a wheelchair, doesn't let go of my hand until the nurses took me.
But she went in as well, the nurses didn't stopped her. Hindi naman 'to malala para pagbawalan pumasok.
"She's got a 41° fever, untreated for hours,"
The nurse glances up, until she squints at me. "Doctor Zarya?" Her tone shifts, alarmed. Shit.
Of course it's Clara, the one who's seen me sprinting codes in scrubs, not slumped in pajamas, shaking like a rookie.
"Clara... hey," I rasp, trying to smile. It comes out a grimace.
"God, what happened?" She grips my wrist, checks my pulse.
"That guy just said she has a fever, you can't hear?" Iris insulted Clara for asking such an obvious question.
Clara just looked at her, intimidated. "Tachycardic. Skin's dry. When did the fever start?"
"Midnight," Iris answers, sharp. "She called me at 2 a.m. Couldn't reach anyone else."
"No, last last night. Just got worst at midnight." She looked at me in disbelief.
"And you just asked for help 2am in the morning??" I don't know if Iris is scolding me or she's just irritated.
Clara's eyes flick to Iris, then back to me. Na para bang nagtatanong kung sino ang babaeng nasa harap namin ngayon. Well, I don't have the breath to explain.
"Bed 3, now," Clara orders. Iris hauls me forward, past curtains where monitors beep and someone vomits. I'm supposed to be on the other side of this.
"IV fluids, broad-spectrum antibiotics, paracetamol stat. And get a chest X-ray—you've been coughing, right?". I nod weakly.
Iris hovers, arms crossed, jaw clenched. "Is she gonna be okay?"
Clara ignores her, swabbing my arm for the IV. "You should've called sooner, Doc."
"Didn't... want to bother anyone," I mutter.
"Bullshit." Iris's voice cracks. "You called me, didn't you?"
Clara freezes, needle hovering. I shut my eyes.
"you can leave me here, Iris. Thank you, I owe you one—"
"You owe me no—"
"Zarya, I told you to call me!" Xylla arrived, concerned.
"Oh, she did." Iris nodded, it was awkward.
"I'm sorry, I probably left my phone on DND." Xylla explained to me, ignoring Iris.
"It's fine, no worries."
"I'll leave now." and without waiting for me to say anything, she left. Iris left with a poker face, the terror one.
I didn't had the chance to thank her.
"Ahm...Zar, excuse me." Xylla followed her, which made me confuse.
Then I remembered, they had a deal.
Iris stopped walking when she reached the elevator, she waited for Xylla to pass by.
And as soon as Xylla passed by, she grabbed her, and forcibly dragged her inside.
The hospital elevator doors slid shut. Iris slammed the rooftop button, her knuckles white. Xylla leaned against the wall, arms folded. "What's your problem—"
Iris whirled around, grabbing Xylla's collar, yanking her close. "You. You're my problem." The elevator lurched upward.
Wind clawed at their hair as Iris shoved Xylla against the railing. "I fucking told you to keep her safe!" Her voice cracked, raw. "A fever? You couldn't pick up your goddamn phone?!"
Xylla shoved her off, laughing coldly. "First of all, our deal ended, nakalimutan mo?. If I take care of her now, it's because I want to. Not because you guilt-tripped me into it."
Iris flinched. The city lights blurred below them.
"I couldn't sleep, I fucking knew something was wrong.
Thank God I answered her call. Do you know how she looked?
!" Her voice rose, trembling. "She was fucking crying, Xylla.
Couldn't move, couldn't breathe. It was torture for me. ..and you were nowhere!"
Xylla's smirk faded. "I was on duty. Didn't see her calls."
"Bullshit!" Iris's tears spilled over. "You're always 'on duty' when it matters. Where were you when she needed someone? Where were you when she's soaked in the rain that night, huh?! bakit hindi mo alam na nilalagnat na s'ya?!"
Xylla stiffened. "My fault? You left her in the streets first!
You think I forgot? Chiara, nakita ko. Kitang kita ko paano mo s'ya sinaktan.
" Xylla voice cracker, about to burst out.
"I came to her that night, shaking, because of you, dumbass!
" Her voice broke. "You know what? You owe me one.
I even told her you texted me to pick her up.
Just so she would think that you still care about her after everything you've done. "
"I do fucking care about her!" Iris shouted, her tears slowly streaming down to her cheeks.
"Why do you even still care? She's not yours anymore!"
"You have no rights to say that to
me, Xy—"
"I actually do. Because I love her." Xylla's tone became calm, yet heavy. "and it's not just love, I want her."
"Fuck you." Iris chuckled. "she would never want you."
"no, fuck you." Xylla's tone was sharp.
"She may not want me...now. but who knows?" Xylla shrugged her shoulder, smirking. "mind you, I'm not an ex who's acting so tough but secretly obsessed."
Iris staggered back, fists clenched. "you don't know anything. I care because—" She choked. "Because I failed her. But you... you promised. You swore you'd—"
"Don't." Xylla stepped forward, eyes blazing. "Don't you dare doubt how much I care. I'd catch a bullet for her if I had to. But you?" She laughed bitterly. "You just... a coward. Too coward that you're even afraid of your own feeling."
The wind swallowed the silence. Iris's shoulders slumped. For a moment, the only sound was her ragged breathing.
Xylla wiped her face roughly. "You don't get to play hero now. Not after what you did."
Iris opened her mouth, then shut it. Her defiance crumpled. She turned, heading for the door. "Just... keep her safe." she whispered.
Xylla didn't watch her leave. She gripped the railing, knuckles pale. Iris's sobs echoed down the stairwell.