Chapter 19- The deal
Zarya's pov
Everything I carried for 8 years seems to fade away the moment ate Yana hugged me.
I feel so weak, but at least this time I know I have someone who understands my situation. Halos hindi ko na maramdaman ang mga kamay ko sa iyak.
" i'm sorry, Zar. You have gone through this alone, for so long" I can hear her sobs, she's also crying.
"You don't need to feel bad about me ate, you should be proud. Imagine, nakaya ko yun?" I tried to ease the tension dahil masyado na ang bigat na buhat buhat namin.
That's one thing about me, I am vulnerable. But if someone I love is as vulnerable as I am, I had to act strong. If someone is getting weak, it needs someone to hold on.
I know how soft my sister is, kahit pa parang unbothered sya sa lahat.
We gathered ourselves after we both calmed down, I plan to stay a night here. Total nandito naman na din kami, why not sulitin nalang namin.
I also need some fresh air to breathe, parang kailangan ko mag reflect sa lahat lahat. It feels like i'm in a timelapse, everything happened so fast.
I came back after 8 years, and in my first night here I met the woman that I've lost only to find out she's dating my childhood best friend. My closest friend had a deal with my ex, and much worst... she wanted to get close to me with intention.
And now, I really don't know kung ano ang uunahin kong isipin.
"Zar, here" ate zarya handed me a bottle of beer.
nandito kami ngayon sa hindi ko alam kung saang lugar to, basta we're on the side of the road with beer on our hands. Lumabas kami ng bahay kanina after what happened, we need a short lay low for the mean time.
"Zar, what are you planning to do now?" ate Yana stared at me as she chugged a beer.
Actually, kahit ako hindi ko din alam.
"I don't know, its hard" I coldly said.
"What's hard?"
"Well, first of all. Girlfriend sya ng childhood best friend ko."
She chuckled, but she didn't say a word.
"What's funny?" I asked.
"I thought you're as observant as I am. Hindi pala" hindi ko parin ma gets ang sinasabi nya.
"Let's be straightforward, please" I glanced at her, i am not in a funny situation to be this ambiguous.
"Have you forgotten? You have an arranged marriage with Ryan. Therefore hindi papayag si papa and si tito Bernard sa relationship nila ni Attorney."
"And hindi din papayag si papa and tito Bernard na hindi kami magkatuluyan ni Ryan" I gave her a sarcastic smile. "There are lots of ways to win over Iris, it's just that the consequences are too heavy. I don't know if I can take it."
Binitawan ni ate ang beer and she sat in front of me, ngayon magkaharap na kaming dalawa and whenever she does this move, I know she's about to say something unbearable.
"What are you most afraid of? The consequences or losing her....again?" Sabi na e.
But those words made me think about everything.
"You know what, I have an idea for you." She gave me a playful smile and I know it's not a good idea.
"What is it?"
"I heard papa and Ryan once, they are talking about you. Dinedeny ni Ry si Chiara–"
"What the fuck!? Why would he–" she stuffed her finger inside my mouth, kadiri.
"Shut up first, who knows? Maybe he's just protecting Chiara from papa and tito Bernard. Papa has been trying so hard na magkaroon kayo ng time together."
The private class with Ryan, that business trip to italy, Ryan kissed me, hes been trying to talk to me about something im not sure of.
Lahat ng yun? Dahil sa gusto ng mga tatay namin? Fuck.
Para akong nag co-connect the dots ngayon, and everything is aligned—perfectly aligned.
"so, what's your idea?" I asked, invested na ako ngayon sa idea nya dahil sa nalaman ko.
"Well, you can actually date Ry–"
"No. Hindi ko gagawin 'yan" hindi ko kaya ang idea na to, Ive done everything my dad ordered me to do. But not on this one.
"Zarya...if you guys started dating, then iris and him would be over."
She has a point, but still.
"I'll think about it"
.......
"Good morning, Doc."
"We missed you doc zee!"
"have a nice day ahead po"
My day is filled with joy every time nakakasalubong ko ang mga workers sa hospital, they all wear the same smile even with lots of patients.
I headed straight to my office to start working on with some papers na need na matapos this week.
Its ate Yana, so I quickly answered the call.
"Good morning, sister" I greeted her
"Good morning my little sissy, sooo have you thought about it?" She asked and I can feel her giggle from the other side of the globe.
"I have lots of work to do Ate, call you whenever I can." I didn't wait for her response, I dropped the call.
it's been a few weeks since bumalik na din si Ate sa Italy, she can't be caught here in the Philippines dahil for sure lagot sya.
It has also been a few weeks since I haven't heard anything about Iris and Ryan. I just always make an excuses para hindi kami makapag lesson ni Ry, iniiwasan ko din sya sa office.
I don't know, but I feel like ito muna ang tamang gawin for now.
"Come in."
I was surprised to see Ryan, he don't usually come to my office naman e.
"Good morning, Zar" he greeted me with a hesitant smile.
"Good morning, do you need anything" i asked directly.
"Actually uhmm nothing, just wondering if I could treat you a nice lunch later." The way he talk, parang kinakabahan na hindi ko din alam.
"No, I'll have lunch with my frie–"
"Actually pinaalam na din kita sa kanila, and they are find with it."
"You did what?" My anger is starting to mold right now, why would he do that?
"I'm sorry, im just trying to have some time with you. you know, for our friendship."
"Get out of my office." I ordered him, fiercely.
But I was even annoyed when he didn't even move, he just stared at me. nakatayo pa rin sya sa harap ko, and it is irritating every nerve in my body.
"I SAID, GET OUT!" I shouted out of annoyance, nakakainis na talaga.
"No." he just replied coldly.
He doesn't want to get out? Okay fine. I'll do it myself, ako ang lalabas.
I was about to reach the door when he grabbed my arms. "ZARYA, STOP!" he shouted.
In that very moment, hinayaan ko nalang. I stared at him in disbelief.
"what do you want, huh?!"
" I want my old best friend back, I want the playful and annoying Zarya back. Not this full of anger zarya" His voice softens, his eyes are starting to water.
In that instant, nanlambot din ako. I realized I have been really harsh with him when all he wanted was his old best friend.
But for some reason, the blood he boils in me is still there. Hindi din naman madali saakin.
" that old friend of you is gone, Ryan." I gave him a smile, but my eyes are getting heavy as well.
" Zarya please... for fuck's sake! TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG?!" His tone started to get sharp. "What did I do wrong, zarya?! Why do you keep on pushing me away from your life I once been part of, hmm?"
"Oh SAINT RYAN! do not act like you are full of life! I know why you are doing this." His face turned pale, but the tears in his eyes kept flowing.
"What exactly do you know? Hmmm?" He walked closer to me, and that made me more even excited.
"You kissed me" three words that made him stunned.
"Oh my God Zarya, I was drunk!"
"Really? You know Iris and I are once have been friends, she still... she still holds a place in me." I almost stutter as I said those words. "You are his boyfriend, and you freaking kissed me."
"Is it really just because I kissed you?! I fucking did that, months after you came back. but all those months, you were fucking acting this way already!"
I thought makakalusot ang excuses ko, but yeah, He's right.
" does she know you are bound to marry me?" I have no more weapon left, i had to.
"Zarya..."
"I know why you are doing all of this, Ryan. You have to marry me, right? And does she know about this?" I asked sarcastically.
"No." He simply said.
I nodded with satisfaction, nakuha ko ang reaction na gusto ko. "If you don't marry me, what will happen?"
"M–my... my inheritance..."
I knew it, pareho lang naman kami e. If I don't marry him, I will lost everything.
"That is no longer my problem, Ryan."
I was about to turn to leave the office, but I was caught off when he kneeled on his knee. He held my hands crying, nakayuko nalang sya at parang wala ng lakas dahil sa iyak.
It was like he's begging for something.
"Zarya please, do me a favor." He wipes his tears with his right hand, and stared at me. "zarya, can we act like a couple? Please? For the mean time only Zar, pleaseee.... hayaan mo akong makapag isip ng ibang paraan"
"how about Iris? Hmmm? hindi ka naman siguro gago para mag isip nyan no?" I chuckled but my tears are flowing already.
"She knows everything."
I was too stunned to even cry when I heard those words. She... she fucking knows this?
"what?" im in complete disbelief right now.
"she was the one suggested this plan, and I think this is the best way for the three of us Zar." He is still on his knee but he's starting to calm down.
We were startled, and he immediately got up. but it was too late, the person already entered the office.
"Papa?... what are you doing here?" I asked nervously
"Tito" Ryan fished his composure and greeted my dad with a hand.
"Am I really seeing this? ryan??" I even got nervous when my dad stared at Ryan.
" po?"
"So, when is the wedding?"
"WEDDING?!" sabay kaming napasigaw ni Ryan and stared at each other.
Did he really think Ryan is proposing to me???
"yeah, I just witnessed the proposal. Have I not?" my dad shrugged.
None of us wants to say a word, dahil wala naman kami dapat sabihin. hindi ko din alam ang sasabihin, and for sure Ryan and I are in the same situation right now.
"Ahh...tito it wasn't a proposal po" finally! Ryan broke the silence.
"Hmm?" My dad seems to be in a confused state right now.
"It wasn't a proposal dad, yet... ryan just.." I cleared my throat before saying it. "Ryan just asked me to be his gir–girlfriend."
what have I done?! Damn it.
panindigan ko nalang siguro to, I guess this was the sign I've been asking for.
I saw the happiness in my dad's eyes, hindi halatang ilang taon nya itong hinintay.
But what worries me more today is Iris... she knows about Ryan's plan. Ano ba talaga ang gusto nyang mangyari?
I really wouldn't guess what her next move is, hindi ko alam if this is in favor of me or her...or Ryan.
All I know is I need to do this.
Weeks had passed since that scene in my office happened. Ryan and I are just doing our job whenever our dads are around. Even the whole hospital knows what happened.
My friends were in deep shock of course, sino ba ang mag aakala. He's known as my worst enemy here, lagi ba naman sinusungitan.
Even Xylla was disappointed when she heard the news, she knew everything about Ryan, Iris, and I.
But I just explained to her the purpose of this thing, na para lang ito sa mga dad namin.
Hindi ko sinabi ang personal interest ko sa bagay na to.
While some of my friends were happy for me, they even thought I was joking.
But I told them about the arranged marriage na naplano na noong mga bata pa lang kami.
And of course, they believed it.
"Good morning, zar" It was Ryan who entered my office.
Nagiging comfy na sya lumabas pasok sa office ko and hinahayaan ko nalang para hindi din kami mahalata ng mga workers.
"Thank you." I thanked him when he gave me a cup of coffee.
He didn't leave after that, nakatingin lang sya sakin. Seems like he was about to say something pero hesitant syang sabihin.
"Zar, dad invited you for dinner tonight."
Oh shoot. I forgot it's his dad's birthday tomorrow.
This is how rich people celebrate their birthdays, base on my experience na din. They celebrate it with their loved ones and closest people a day before their actual birthdays. Tapos the next day, that is when the grand event happens.
I guess I made it to the closest people?
"Okay, I'll be there." As if I have a choice naman?
"I will pick you up at 6:30PM, is that okay?" He asked.
"Hindi mo ba sya isasama?" I asked, pero alam ko naman na ang sagot.
"No, but I invited her for tomorrow's event." He said with dissatisfaction in his eyes.
I just nodded, but deep inside.... I am already screaming, i'm excited for tomorrow.
"Come in" It was the janitress.
"Ay, sorry po Doc. babalik nalang po ako." Agad naman syang yumoko at akmang aalis na sana when I stopped her.
"No need, Ryan will leave naman na po." I gave Ryan a stare, as a signal na pinapaalis ko na sya.
"Yeah, uh I'll go ahead...hon" He hesitated but he kissed me on the cheek before leaving.
I don't know how did he came up with that endearment, ang cringe. but it's fine, we're just using it whenever there's someone around, kahit yung pa kiss nya cheek. all fake.
"Ate, may available pa po bang janitress sa baba? It would be done faster if may kasama po kayo." I insisted, my office is quite huge and I think it's too much work for her.
"Si Carlo po, available ata. tawagin ko po ba?" she asked.
"Uhh...just come back later if kay available na pong janitress sa baba." I smiled awkwardly.
"Ah sige po doc." She smiled and left my office with her tools.
I don't like having men around me, I'm not comfortable with men for some reason. kaya as much as possible, ang mga maintenance worker namin dito sa hospital ay mostly girls. Even at my hotel, inaapply ko din ito.
I don't think it's a bad idea naman, it's just that I have some traumatic experiences with men. ever since bata palang ako, and I am sure that almost 100% of girls nowadays have already experienced this.
After work, dumaan muna ako sa de luca to check the hotel. It's in good state naman, we accommodated 10% higher than usual today. That's a good thing, especially na hindi naman ako maka focus totally sa hotel dahil mas priority ko ang hospital ngayon.
"early uwi mo ngayon ma'am ah." Kuya Jun said after I got in the car.
Hindi na din ako nagtagal pa sa hotel since it's already 5:30 pm and I need to be ready before 6:30.
"Yes, I'll have dinner with Ryan and his fam. Birthday po kasi ni tito Bernard tomorrow e"
"Ay kaya pala nag re-ready din sila ni papa mo." Nag re-ready? invited din kaya sila? Hindi naman na mention ni Ryan sakin kanina ah.
"Pumunta ka po ng mansion?" I asked, hindi naman pumupunta doon si Kuya Jun since naka uwi ako dito e, saakin lang talaga sya naka service.
"Ah, eh pinatawag ho ako ng papa mo. Ako daw mag d-drive sa kanila ng mommy mo." Kuya Jun quickly explained.
"Then drop me off nalang sa mansion, doon nalang po ako mag re-ready."
May mga gamit naman kasi ako doon, para sabay nalang kaming aalis mamaya.
"zarya, you're here?" Dad greeted me, na para bang hindi ako welcome dito?
"Ryan will pick me up later, sabay nalang tayong pumunta dad." I insisted.
"si, but Jun will drive us there. you go with Ryan." He said na parang ayaw akong makasabay sa sasakyan ha.
I went upstairs to get ready, I didn't get to greet my mom since I am pretty sure she's also busy with herself. Mas matagal pa mag ayos saakin yon e.
After I got ready, agad na akong bumaba and called Ryan. I forgot to mention sa kanya na dito ako sunduin sa bahay ni Dad.
"Are you ready to go, Zar?" He asked after he answered the call.
"Yes, nandito ako sa mansion. you can pick me up here."
"Okay, I'll get the car nalang."
I dropped the call after and headed outside. I saw mom and dad about to drive off, they didn't even say a word. takot talagang sumama ako sa kanila.
.....
"Here comes the love birds" I heard papa welcomed us as soon as we arrived at tito bernard's place.
Ryan and I just smiled, and walked closely to them para makipag beso. Ryan also pulled the chair for me, acting boyfriend mode on na ngayon.
It has been quite a while since the last time na nakapasok ako sa mansion nila. It still looks the same, except for interior. Parang iniba na ata nila, I like the old one. parang palasyo ang atake non e.
"So, when are we stepping onto the next level hmm?" Muntik na akong mabilaukan when tito Bernard broke the silence.
"Yeah, you know guys we are getting old. we need to witness it while we are still strong." My dad even joined the conversation.
"ah...Papa, tito. we're just taking it slow, but who knows?" Ryan took the opportunity to speak for me.
"yeah hon, we don't need to rush them." Wow, for the first time. my mom did something for me.
nanahimik nalang ako sa gilid while I noticed Ryan's gaze. He seems uncomfortable.
"I am happy you guys ended up together, you guy's can't imagine how glad we are." Tito Bernard said with a huge smile on his face.
"Si, I knew it from the start. You will end up together" My dad added.
I just smiled awkwardly.
"Oh Ryan, not to be rude but... how about the girl you introduced to us before? That one named... chira? i think." That word from my mom made me froze to death.
I look at Ryan, and he's not looking good.
"ah chiara po, we...we broke up already." Parang nilalamon nalang ni Ryan ang mga salita nya.
"oh that girl, it's a good thing that you guys broke up. you can just stay as friends, you guys should not let your feelings grow." tito Bernard said with confidence.
I can feel my dad's eyes locked onto mine, she knew about Iris. dahil yun ang dahilan bakit ako nawala, kilala nya parin si Iris.
"Really? So you guys were friends before dating? that's just so sad to hear. But I heard she's a successful lawyer." My mom hopped in the conversation.
"Well, she's a good lawyer. but has no family background in our industry." My dad keeps on adding some spice in this dinner.
" maybe she's in for some fortune, son? You know, some woman these days use their assets." tito bernard added.
what does he mean? iris is a whore or some kind? who the fuck is he to say that??!
I am about to leave the table out of frustration, because what do they mean? Iris is a good person, successful on her own. My tears are about to leave my eyes, but I didn't let that happen. I can't let that happen.
"Okay, guys I think it's inappropriate to talk about her while Zarya is here. let's just have a toast" But thankfully, Ryan saved the night.
I never imagined this plan would turn into something this cruel, this agonizing. Akala ko madali lang sakin to. I feel completely trapped, surrounded by these cold, diabolical creatures who speak like they know everything, yet understand absolutely nothing.
Every word they spit out is like a sharp blade, cutting deeper and deeper into my chest, and God knows how desperately I want to stand up, scream, and defend Iris in front of them.
defend the only person that matters to me.
I want to tell them they're wrong, that they don't see the truth, that they have no right to judge her.
But I know... I know I can't. If I speak, if I even breathe a word in her favor, everything will only get worse.
It'll bring more pain, more harm, more hatred toward her—and I can't let that happen.
So I swallow every protest, every scream, every word I ache to say.
.. and I keep it all locked inside, buried so deep it feels like it's tearing me apart from within.
Much worst, I know Ryan feels the same too.
standing right here, listening to everyone talk, mock, and ruin the name of the person I love more than anything in this world.
.. and I have to stay silent. I have to just stand there, act like I don't care, like I don't hear every lie they tell, when every single word feels like it's killing me little by little.
I'm helpless. I'm powerless. And the worst part?
I love her more than my own life, yet I can't even say a single word to protect her.
I can't even tell the world how wonderful she really is.
But soon, Iris. I will have the courage to fight the world for you, even if that means I'll lose the ones who gave the world to me.