Chapter 39 To win this, is to lose againts you.
Zarya's point of view
"3 days nalang, and everything will be done."
I stared at the small note I had taped to the edge of my desk in boredom. Kanina ko pa inaantay si Mr. Henderson dito sa office, but he's a bit late today. Which is unusual to him, siya palagi ang excited sa meeting.
It has been a few days since that night by the roadside. Since the last time I saw her, the last time na nakausap ko siya. Now, we're just like strangers. We completely vanished from each other's lives, exactly as I planned. Exactly as I told her we needed to do.
I haven't gone near her office. I haven't passed by her firm. I haven't called, haven't messaged. Dahil alam ko... kapag nalaman kong maayos siya, baka tumakbo na naman ako pabalik sa kanya. And if I learned she was hurting... I would break down entirely.
So I stayed away. For her safety. For the promise I made.
But even after putting some distance between us, I never stopped protecting her. Patuloy parin yung agency that I hired to protect her. So far so good, wala pa namang nahuhuli sa kanila.
I leaned back in my chair, eyes fixed on the large window of my office overlooking the city. The sky was gray, heavy with clouds, parang kasing bigat ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. I needed the silence. I needed the distance.
My phone buzzed again on the desk.
I didn't even flinch. I just looked at the screen, seeing the same unknown number flashing again. Messages kept coming, one after another, and truth be told... they were getting worse.
Before, every message sent chills down my spine because it mentioned her.
It threatened her. But lately? It was all about me.
They stopped talking about Iris. They stopped using her name.
Now, they were only warning me. Telling me to be careful, telling me to play my cards right, telling me that my life was the one hanging by a thread.
That's when my suspicions were confirmed. Dahil ito sa bidding.
And honestly? Hindi na ako natatakot.
It didn't bother me at all. Let them watch me.
Let them threaten me. Let them do whatever they want to me.
Basta ang mahalaga... wala na siyang kinalaman dito.
As long as Iris was out of the picture, as long as her name was no longer mentioned, as long as she was safe and far away from this mess.
.. they could do whatever they wanted with me.
I would take every threat, every danger, every pain. .. just to keep her untouched.
I closed my eyes, breathing out slowly, trying to calm the ache in my chest. "3 days left... just three more days. Then the bidding ends, then everything is over, then I can go back to her..."
Pero bakit parang ang haba pa rin ng tatlong araw? Suddenly, the heavy door to my office burst open without a knock.
I sat up straight, startled, my hand instinctively reaching for the folder on my desk.
I knew who it was. I was actually expecting him, this was our usual meeting time to go over the final documents and strategies.
But the way he entered... it wasn't the composed, professional Mr. Henderson I knew.
He looked terrified. His face was pale, sweat beading on his forehead, his tie crooked, and his hands shaking as he held his tablet. He looked frustrated, confused, and completely panicked.
"Miss De Luca." he almost shouted, rushing toward my desk, not even bothering to close the door properly behind him. "Miss De Luca... have you seen it?! Have you seen the email they sent us?!"
I frowned, standing up slowly, my heart starting to beat faster not from fear, but from confusion. Anong meron? Bakit ganito siya kabalisa??
"Calm down, Mr. Henderson," I said, my voice steady even though my mind was racing. "What email? What are you talking about? I haven't checked my inbox in the last hour. We were supposed to finalize the bidding proposals today, remember?"
He slammed his tablet onto my desk, pointing at the screen, his breathing ragged.
"The bidding, Miss De Luca! The bidding has been postponed!"
The words hit me like a physical blow. I froze, staring at him, thinking I must have misheard.
"Postponed?" I repeated slowly, my voice dropping low. "What do you mean postponed? It's in three days... everything is set. Everything is ready. Why would they postpone it now?"
"I don't know! But look at this!" He tapped the screen frantically. "Read it! They sent it out ten minutes ago to all participating parties. They moved it... for another month! Thirty days from now, Miss De Luca! What the hell is happening?!"
My legs felt weak. I stumbled back to my chair and immediately opened my laptop, fingers trembling as I logged in and pulled up my email.
There it was. Right at the top, bold and official: OFFICIAL NOTICE OF POSTPONEMENT.
I scanned through the text quickly, my eyes darting over the reasons stated it was Due to administrative errors, incomplete documentation, and necessary revisions to the terms... the reason why bidding event is hereby rescheduled.
I read it again. And again. And again.
3 days left... and now it's thirty days more?
"Why...?" I whispered, the word coming out broken.
I leaned forward, elbows on the desk, hands gripping my hair in frustration.
"Why now? We have prepared everything for a whole month.
Everything is perfect. Why would they find errors or missing papers now?
Ilang araw na lang... tapos ngayon pa sila magbabago ng isip? "
I looked up at Henderson, my eyes burning. "This changes everything. We need to revise every bit of our plan, adjust every schedule, review every contract again... everything we did is suddenly on hold. This is a disaster."
Mr. Henderson paced back and forth across my office floor, running a hand through his gray hair, muttering angrily.
"It's sabotage, I am telling you! That's exactly what this is!
" He stopped and looked at me, eyes wide with certainty.
"It's Sterling. I am sure he is behind all of this.
He's the only one who benefits from delays.
He probably found a way to mess with the paperwork, or bribe someone inside the committee, or create fake errors just to push the date back.
He wants to drag this out. He wants to make us suffer longer.
He wants to make sure we don't win."
He was practically shouting now, releasing all his frustration, all his anger, all his worry. I listened to him, nodding mechanically, my mind half there... and half somewhere else.
Sterling... errors... sabotage...
All of that mattered, yes. But as I looked at the date on the screen...plus thirty days—my heart wasn't breaking because of the business loss.
It was breaking because of her.
Mr. Henderson kept talking, pacing, explaining what we could do, who we could contact, how we could protest...but then biglang tumonog ang cellphone niya sa bulsa. He paused, pulled it out, glanced at the screen, and sighed heavily.
"Excuse me, Miss De Luca... I have to take this." He walked out quickly, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone in the silence again.
But this silence was heavier than before. Much heavier.
I slumped back into my chair, staring at the email on my laptop, the words blurring as tears started to well up in my eyes.
One month.
Isang buwan pa.
Thirty more days. Thirty more nights. Thirty more sunrises and sunsets. Thirty more days of staying away from her. Thirty more days of pretending I don't care. Thirty more days of acting like she doesn't exist to me.
Thirty more fucking days of living in this hell where I am alive, but I don't feel like I'm living at all.
My chest tightened, the pain sharp and unbearable. Akala ko... akala ko makakapagtiis na lang ako ng tatlong araw. Three days I could handle. Three days felt like nothing compared to the months I had already endured. But another month?
"Fuck!" I cried silently, tears finally spilling over and running down my cheeks, hot and fast. I covered my face with my hands, my shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.
If the bidding is postponed... then the danger isn't over yet. The threats won't stop. The enemies won't disappear. Which means... I still cannot go back to her.
I still have to stay away. I still have to act like I don't love her. I still have to endure the distance that feels like it's tearing me apart piece by piece.
And Iris... she doesn't know. She's probably thinking I'm already done, already safe, already coming back. She's probably counting the days too, hoping that after three days, I'll knock on her door.
I am still in deep thought, processing everything. Paano ko sasabihin kay Iris? paano ko ipapaliwanag lahat sa kaniya? What if she can no longer wait for me?
When all of the sudden...My phone rang.
I looked down. The number was unknown. But it wasn't the same string of digits that had been sending me threatening messages for weeks.
That number was local, a Philippine mobile number. This one... this looked different. The sequence was strange, almost scrambled, like it was bouncing through servers halfway across the world. But its familiar, galing ba Italy 'tong tawag na 'to?? maybe? I knew that code.
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't know why, but a cold, heavy feeling settled deep in my chest. I answered it slowly, lifting the phone to my ear.
"Hello?"
Silence for one second. Two. Then... a voice. Smooth, arrogant, dripping with amusement and terrifying power. A voice I knew very well, but never thought I would hear calling me directly.
"Ah, Doctor De Luca. Finally. I was beginning to think you wouldn't pick up."
My blood ran cold. Every hair on my body stood up.
"Sterling." I said his name like a curse, my voice low and tight. "How did you get this number? Why are you calling me?"
"Relax, Zarya. No need to sound so hostile. I just wanted to... share something with you. I saw you received the email. The postponement. Did you like my little gift?"
I froze. My breath hitched.
"Surprised? Don't look at the papers or the errors they listed.
That's all just formalities. I did that.
I made them moved the date. I found the loopholes.
I pulled the strings. I have connections everywhere, in the committee, in the government, in every office you can think of.
It's funny how I have all of these yet I can't even win against you, you are indeed good.
I can postpone this bidding for a year if I want to.
I can drag this out until you go crazy waiting.
And honestly? I could destroy you completely right now if I wanted to. "
His voice was calm, almost cheerful, but every word carried the weight of a threat that felt like it could crush me.
I gripped the edge of my desk, my knuckles turning white, fighting to keep my voice steady and defiant.
"You can never destroy me," I said, staring hard at the window, at the city I built. "You have money and connections, yes... but you don't have what it takes to break me. You can't win with clear conscience, can you?"
He laughed. A low, dark, terrifying sound that echoed in my ear.
"Oh, Zarya... you really think I care about breaking you? You're right. You're strong. You're stubborn. You survive everything. So why would I waste my time destroying you... when I can destroy someone who is already a part of you?"
The world stopped.
My heart dropped into my stomach. My mind went blank, then raced a thousand miles an hour. I knew exactly what he meant. There was only one person in this world who was part of me. Only one person whose pain would hurt me more than death.
I didn't answer. I couldn't. The fear was so big, so heavy, it choked me. Natakot ako. For the first time in a long time, I was truly, utterly terrified.
He noticed my silence, and he purred, satisfied.
"Ah. You understand now."
I found my voice, shaking, raw, filled with a rage so hot it burned my throat.
"I dare you," I whispered, then shouted it, loud and sharp. "I DARE YOU TOUCH HER! If you lay a finger on her, if you even say her name—"
"Oh, relax, Doctor. I am not doing that, yet?" He laughed at me. He fucking laughed at me. "Her dad is already there tho. But for as long as you leave this bidding to us, we're good."
The words hit me like a physical blow. I stumbled back, hitting the edge of my chair.
Her dad.
Eric Valenti.
I remembered. The man who left her eight years ago, ran away to America to another woman, broke her heart, broke their family... and suddenly appeared again just . Just when everything started getting complicated.
"You... you brought him back." It wasn't a question. It was realization.
"Of course I did. He owes me. And he hates being poor.
Money fixes everything, Zarya. Even family ties.
" Sterling sounded bored now, like he had already won.
"He's with her right now, actually. Probably comforting her.
Talking to her. Being the father she always wanted who knows?
And you know what? you know what happens next.
.. whatever I tell him to do, whatever I tell him to say.
.. he will listen. So just tell the committee you quit, and I promise you principessa.
..I will tell him to leave the Philippines immediately. "
"NO!" I screamed, panic shattering every bit of composure I had left. "Leave her out of this! She has nothing to do with you! She has nothing to do with me!"
"She has everything to do with it," Sterling hissed, his voice turning cold and deadly.
"Because she is your weakness. And I will use that weakness until you crumble.
Remember this, Zarya. I can do anything.
I moved the bidding just to show you what I am capable of.
Imagine what else I can do. And remember.
..I know exactly where you are. And I know exactly where she is. "
And then the line went dead.
The phone slipped from my trembling fingers and clattered onto the desk. I stood there, breathing hard, my chest heaving, tears already stinging my eyes from pure fear and helplessness.
"He can do anything."
If he could do that... if he could delay a massive project, something so big and official, just to torture me, just to prove a point.
.. Ano pa ang hindi niya kayang gawin? What else could he do?
He could ruin me in one snap. He could ruin my company, everything my father built.
He could ruin my family, my name, my reputation.
He could hurt anyone I love... lalo na siya. Lalo na si Iris.
This is another level of battle.
I realized then that I wasn't fighting a rival anymore.
I was fighting a monster. Someone with unlimited money, unlimited connections, unlimited cruelty—walang konsensya, walang takot, walang pakialam kung sino ang madamay.
And as long as Iris was connected to me.
.. as long as she loved me, or I loved her.
.. she was a target. She was a pawn in a game she didn't even know she was playing.
At ako... ako ang dahilan kung bakit siya nasa panganib.
"Do I really have to do this?" I whispered, my voice breaking, halos hindi na lumalabas sa lalamunan ko.
"Do I really need to leave? For good this time.
Not just a few days. Not just a month. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako makakabalik.
.. o kung makakabalik pa ba ako." My chest tightened, parang may dumudurog sa puso ko nang dahan-dahan.
"But if I stay in her life... I am killing her.
Every second I stay close... I am putting her in danger. "
I knew exactly what this would do to her. Alam ko kung gaano kasakit 'to para sa kanya. I knew that she's been waiting for the time I promise I would come back.
Kailangan ko ulit siyang talikuran, but I promise I would take her back...pero ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung paano at kung kailan.
Just like eight years ago. Just like her father did. She was already hurting. She already thought I didn't care. She already thought I chose work over her.
And now... I have to make it real. I have to leave her completely.
I have to let her believe that I really did leave her, that I really didn't love her enough, that I really chose everything else over her.
Because if she hates me... if she forgets me.
.. she is safe. Doon lang siya magiging ligtas.
Para akong nasa bingit ng langit at lupa ngayon.
Hindi ko kayang isakripisyo ang company ni papa, and I can't bear the thought of losing Iris.
But I have to make a sacrifice in this game, and I choose to sacrifice Iris... hindi dahil hindi siya mahalaga saakin, but for her safety.
I endured all those pain for 8 whole years, this time hindi naman sana umabot sa taon ulit kasi hindi ko na alam kung kakayanin ko pa yun.
But then... my eyes fell back to my phone. To the other messages. The threats.
My mind raced, connecting everything. The pieces clicking together in a way that made my blood boil and my heart shatter all at once.
The number that called earlier... +39... Italy. That's Sterling. Tama, he's in Italy.
I looked at the messages again. The number was different. +63 9... A Philippine number. Local. Registered here. Dito mismo sa bansa.
"Sterling is the mastermind... but he's far away. He can't do this every day. He can't watch every move I make here."
Eric Valenti is here. Here in the Philippines. Sinabi mismo ni Sterling saakin kanina. Ginagamit lang niya si tito Eric para matalo niya ang De Luca?
And then... the realization hit me so hard I almost doubled over. Parang binagsakan ako ng langit at lupa. These messages... these threats... this anger... it's not just Stwrling. Eric Valenti is the one sending me threats.
A raw, broken sob escaped my throat. Napahawak ako sa bibig ko para pigilan ang iyak, pero tumutulo na ang mga luha ko nang walang humpay.
It hurt more than anything Sterling could ever do.
Mas masakit pa ito kaysa sa lahat ng banta niya.
To know that the man who was supposed to protect her, the man who was supposed to love her unconditionally.
.. was actually the one hurting her the most, using her, and using her love and pain as a weapon against me.
Tama ako, all this time... every threat, every warning, every cruel message... came from him. From the first man who broke heart completely.
My hands trembled violently as I gripped the phone. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run to her right now and tell her everything. Gusto kong ipaliwanag ang lahat. But I knew I couldn't. If I went there, if I exposed him, Sterling would act. If I stayed close, they would hurt her.
This only proved it more. This is another level of battle.
They are using her own father against her.
They are twisting her pain into a trap. Ginagamit ni Sterling si tito Eric para lang manalo sa bidding, he's using tito Eric's pain and rage.
While tito Eric is using her daughter's love as a weakness.
Fuck....The dots are connecting now.
And the only way to save her... the only way to keep her safe from them... was to let her hate me. To let her believe every lie na sasabihin ng ama niya. To leave her completely, so she would have no reason to be part of this war anymore.
I believe in her love and trust saakin, alam ko na if the time is right. She would listen and forgive me once again, just like she did before.
I'm sorry, Iris. Patawad. But this is the only way. I have to let you think I'm the villain, that I really left you...so you never find out that the man who was supposed to protect you... is the one destroying us both.