Chasing Dreams, Losing Her.

Chapter 53 Iriss POV- Where Do I Even Start?

IMPORTANT NOTE:

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Iris's Point Of View

It's been more than a month since Zarya left, I am still waiting for her return hangang ngayon. I am not losing hope na babalik siya, but the doubts are there.

Every night I kept on wondering if the next morning would be another day of waiting. Or a day where she can finally be in my arms again.

I was just about to leave the office and head home when my phone suddenly rang. I stopped walking and took it out of my bag, looking at the screen.

I frowned, who else would call me? baka client lang din, so I answered it anyway.

"Hello? Who am I speaking with?" I asked, my voice neutral.

"Chiara..."

The moment I heard that voice, parang uminit agad ang ulo ko, my fist hardened. I knew it right away, it was him again....my father. How dare he call me now?

My tone turned sharp immediately. "How did you get my number?"

"It doesn't matter, Chiara," he replied, calm as ever, like it was no big deal.

I let out a short, frustrated breath. "Then what do you need this time? I already told you, I will never come with you, so stop wasting your time."

"I know. I did not call to force you to come with me. I just want to warn you," he said seriously.

"Warn me about what?" I asked, nakakaramdam na din ako ng kaba.

"I just won a big deal today. It will probably upset a lot of competitors and rivals.

So listen carefully, Chiara. stay low. If you value your safety, and your mother's safety, do not draw attention to yourselves, okay?

And what I am about to say is very important, daughter.

stay away from anyone connected to the business world right now.

" He said with a serious tone, like it was that deep.

Kinabahan ako bigla, though I tried not to show it in my voice. I didn't know why, but hearing those words made my heart beat faster. Is this real? Or is he just trying to scare me again?

I gripped the phone tighter and answered firmly, kahit lumalamig na ang kamay ko sa kaba. "Just stay away from us, and we will be safe. That's all you can do for us."

Without waiting for him to respond , I pressed the end button and dropped the call right away.

I stood there for a moment, leaning against the wall, and suddenly felt so weak. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko. I wanted to think he was just making things up, but there was something in his voice that made me believe it was true.

And the thought that my mother and I could be caught in the middle of his conflicts made me feel really scared, more scared than I wanted to admit.

I put my phone back in my bag, took a deep breath, and tried to calm myself down. But no matter how hard I tried, hindi mawala?wala ang kaba sa dibdib ko as I walked toward my car.

I was just about to open my car door when I saw a familiar figure....it was Ryan standing at the corner.

I acted fool, acting like I didn't notice him at all. But it was too late, he already saw me.

"Chiara!" he called out.

I didn't even bother to turn my head. I just kept moving my hand toward the door handle.

"Chiara, wait!" Then he walked faster, mas lumakas pa ang boses niya

I had no choice but to stop and face him. I did not smile or show any emotion, I just stood there and looked at him, inaantay na magsalita siya.

"Chiara..." he said again, his voice softer.

"What do you need, Ryan?" I asked directly.

He scratched the back of his neck, looking a little awkward. "K-kamusta ka na?"

I frowned slightly. "I am okay."

Why is he even asking me that? Ever since we broke up, hindi na siya nagparamdam. I never even saw him around. I actually expected it to be harder for him, just like what Zarya said, that he wouldn't accept it easily. But now it seems like he was just fine all this time.

"Ah... Chiara," he said, taking a small breath. "I miss you."

Confusion crossed my face right away. "Ry... I'm sorry—"

"No, Chiara. I just missed you, that's why I came here. Wala akong balak na pilitin kang bumalik sa akin." He quickly cut me off, shaking his head.

I became even more confused. Then why show up here out of nowhere?

"Uuwi ka na ba?" he asked gently. "Can I treat you to some sweet treats?"

I shook my head. "I'm tired, Ry."

He gave a small smile. "Exactly. Ice cream tayo?"

I just stared at him, my face full of confusion. Hindi ko maintindihan kung ano ang gusto niyang mangyari.

"I just want to spend some time with you, Chiara. I promise we're just gonna get ice cream. Wala nang iba. Please? Consider this a friendly invitation." He noticed my expression and quickly explained.

After a short pause, I sighed and nodded. "Okay, fine. But let's use my car."

His face lit up immediately. He walked around and opened the passenger door for me first, then got in and moved to the seat beside me.

We drove to the nearest 7?Eleven. When we arrived, Ryan went inside alone to buy while I stayed in the car. Ayoko kasing may makakita sa amin na magkasama, lalo na't wala namang dapat ipaliwanag sa ibang tao.

While waiting, my eyes wandered around. I noticed a car parked not far from mine, parang pamilyar sa akin, but I couldn't remember where I had seen it before.

Then I saw a man wearing a black hoodie and cap standing near the entrance. Ilang beses nagtama ang tingin namin, but I just ignored him. Baka coincidence lang 'yun.

A few minutes later, Ryan came out carrying a plastic bag. The man in the hoodie walked away at the same time. I glanced at the rearview mirror and saw him get inside that same familiar car.

Ryan got back in and closed the door. "I don't know kung ano ang gusto mo, so I just bought some random flavors."

"Thank you, Ry," I said, but my eyes were still fixed on that car behind us. It felt strange.

"Chiara?"

"Hmm?" I turned back to look at him.

"Anong tinitignan mo diyan?" he asked, following my gaze.

"Nothing," I replied quickly.

He opened his ice cream and took a bite. "So, how have you been?"

"I already told you, I am doing good."

He just nodded "Did Zarya come home already?"

He asked a question I never expected. He said it so casually, like it was nothing. My eyes widened in shock, and my heart suddenly beat faster. "Huh?"

"My dad said Zarya just lost in the bidding. Akala ko ba uuwi siya ngayon?" he said calmly.

Anong pinagsasabi ni Ryan? I'm confused and uneasy. Does he know everything? Why is he talking about this like it's just a normal conversation? Anong nangyayari??

"Chiara... I already know," he said softly.

"Know what? What are you talking about?" I gave him an awkward smile.

"You and Zarya." He said casually again.

That made my heartbeat stop for a second, hindi ko alam anong sasabihin ko.

"Ry..."

"It's okay," he said, giving a sad smile. "Nakapag?usap na kami ni Zarya. It took me so long to understand, but I am okay now. I just want closure with my friend."

I was stunned. Anong pinag?usapan nila ni Zarya? My mind still trying to process everything. "Anong pinag?usapan niyo? I don't get it, Ry."

"Stop the act, Chiara. I saw you two together before."

I realized then that he wasn't joking. Guilt immediately washed over me. I reached out and held his hand gently. "Ryan... I'm sor—"

"No need to feel sorry, Chi," he said, his voice starting to shake a little. "Okay naman na ako. At first, it was really hard to accept. Pakiramdam ko, pinaglaruan niyo lang ako. But then I realized, maybe my purpose was just to bring you two back together."

Tears started to form in his eyes, but he tried to hide them by taking another bite of his ice cream.

"Ryan, I'm sorry... I really tried to love you back," I said, my voice soft.

He looked at me directly. "I just don't get why you had to use me, but it's okay too. At least I got to love you, kahit sa madaling panahon lang."

"Zarya and I... we were already together even before I met you," I explained, wanting him to understand.

"I know. She told me everything, Chi. Naiintindihan ko na din naman, and I'm slowly accepting it now."

I reached out and wiped the tear that fell from his cheek. But as I did, my own tears started falling too. Ryan tried to hold back, but it was too late. When I touched his face, he finally broke down and started sobbing quietly.

He gently moved my hand away from his face and held it instead. He put his ice cream back into the plastic and set it aside.

"Chiara... Zarya is a good person. Lumaki akong kasama siya, and I am happy that you are the one she chose. At pinili mo din siya." he said, his voice thick with emotion.

He took a deep breath and continued. "Pero sobrang gulo ng sitwasyon ni Zarya ngayon, especially since she lost that bidding. Alam kong sobra ka niyang nasaktan dati, and things might get even worse now. If it ever happens that she hurts you again, choose yourself this time."

I pulled my hand away from his grip slowly. "Ry... if that time comes, I will be the one to heal her. I won't leave her just to save myself."

I get it now, dapat kanina ko pa na realize na ganito lang ang mangyayari. I thought he genuinely wanted to talk to me, pero for his own interest parin pala.

He looked at me with worry. "Chiara, iniwan ka niya noon para sa sarili niya. Would it be much worst if you do it too?"

I shook my head firmly. "Ryan, I know you've been there for me ever since. During those times when I was broken and hurting because Zarya left, you were there to see it all. And I get it, you just want to protect me."

"Exactly—"

"But I don't need your protection, Ry." I stopped him before he could say more.

"If you have nothing more to say, please leave."

Surprise flashed across his face. I repeated it clearly, so there was no misunderstanding.

"Chiara, I'm sorry..."

"Please, Ry. Lumabas ka na."

I didn't wait for him to reply. Lumabas na ako ng sasakyan, and walked to the other side. I just opened the driver's door for him, he just stared at me.

"Get out." I said firmly, habang hawak ang pinto ng sasakyan.

He didn't argue, he slowly wend out of my car with no choice. And once he stepped out, pumasok na din ako sa driver's seat. I closed the door firmly, and started the engine.

"It was a not a good idea to hang out with him." I said to myself.

I'm so pissed off. Why would he say such thing? But I know kasalanan ko rin to let him come near that close to me again.

But what really hunts me is what he said earlier.

Zarya lost the bidding...

And she's coming home? bakit hindi niya man lang ako tinawagan? I thought after the bidding she would come back to me? Kailan ba natapos ang bidding? It should be done a few weeks ago ah?

Why is she only coming home now?

And why didn't she tell me?!

After hearing Ryan say that Zarya should already be home, I felt even more frustrated and annoyed. If she's really back, then why hasn't she come to me first?

She promised she come back to me, she promised she would reach out after the bidding. but until now, wala pa rin akong natatanggap na kahit isang tawag o text. Wala talaga.

Out of all that frustration, I just decided to go home. Bahala na, maybe tomorrow she will finally show up at my door... or maybe not. I don't know anymore.

I started the engine and got ready to drive away. But right then, I noticed something, that same car parked behind us earlier also turned on its engine.

At first, I brushed it off. Baka coincidence lang, maybe they just happened to leave at the same time. But deep inside, it felt too much like a coincidence. My gut was telling me something was not right.

I drove out onto the main road. After a few minutes, I glanced at the rearview mirror, and my heart dropped. Andun pa rin nakasunod saakin. That same car was still there, keeping a distance but never falling behind.

I immediately felt scared. I realized this must be what Dad was talking about. He told me to stay low, to be careful because of his enemies. Baka ito na 'yun. Baka sila na 'to. My hands started to shake a little on the steering wheel, and my chest felt tight.

I wanted to confirm if they were really following me. So I turned into a random quiet street, not the usual way I go home. I slowed down and stopped the car by the side of the road, waiting.

Seconds felt like minutes. And then, that car also stopped, medyo malayo but still in sight.

My breathing got faster. They are really following me, panic starting to rise. If I go straight home, they will know where I live. And if they follow me there, baka may mangyaring masama kay mommy. That's the last thing I want to happen.

I didn't wait any longer. I stepped on the gas and drove off quickly.

I didn't take the usual route. Instead, I went around the city, turning left and right, going through smaller streets, changing speed, and even taking longer routes just to shake them off.

My mind was racing, I have to lose them. Hindi nila ako pwedeng sundan sa bahay.

I drove like that for almost twenty minutes, checking the mirror every few seconds.

Then, after making a few more turns and passing through busy intersections, I looked back again, and wala na.

The car was gone. I stared at the mirror for a long time, checking every direction, but there was no sign of it anymore.

Nawala ko sila, but my heart was still beating fast. I didn't feel fully safe yet, but at least I was sure no one was behind me anymore.

When I finally felt a little more at ease, I headed toward our neighborhood. But before turning into our street, I stopped the car again on another quiet road, just to be sure.

I leaned my head back against the seat and let out a long, shaky breath. Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. All the frustration about Zarya, the shock of seeing my dad again, and now this...being followed, feeling like danger was just around the corner.

Is this really just starting? And if this is only the beginning, what more will come next? I couldn't help but worry...not just for myself, but mostly for my mother.

I sat there inside my car, hands still shaking a little on the steering wheel. Even though I already lost that car that was following me, hindi nawala ang kaba sa dibdib ko. Pakiramdam ko, every move I make is being watched, and I don't even know who they are or what they really want.

That's when it hit me hard. Baka tama nga si Dad. Maybe he wasn't just making up stories to scare me or force me to go with him. Maybe what he said was really true. If his enemies are already this close, then we are not safe at all, and most especially my mom.

My chest tightened just thinking about it.

Si Mama ang buhay ko. She means everything to me.

I grew up with her, she raised me alone, and she is the only real family I have ever known.

Hindi ko kayang isipin na baka madamay siya sa gulo na hindi naman namin sinimulan.

I can't afford to lose her, or put her in any kind of danger.

That thought alone makes me want to do whatever it takes just to keep her safe.

I closed my eyes and let out a loud, frustrated breath. Anong gagawin ko?

"Stay low. Stay away from anyone connected to business world."

His words kept running in my mind.

It sounds so simple, but there is one thing, or rather, one person that makes it so hard.

Staying low is not that hard to do, but staying away from someone connected to business world. There's only one name I could think of.

Zarya...

I rested my forehead against the steering wheel, my mind going crazy. Stay away from people in business... But Zarya is exactly in that world. She is part of it, whether she likes it or not. And she is also the most important person in my life, just as important as my mom.

But Ryan's words earlier also stucks in my mind...he was right about zarya leaving me before and choosing herself.

Pero hindi ko kayang gawin sa kaniya 'yon because I know how much it hurts.

Paano ko 'to gagawin? How can I stay away from her? How can I keep my distance when she is the only one I have been waiting for all this time? When she is the one I love?

"Kaya ko ba talagang layuan siya?" I asked myself over and over. Kaya ko bang isakripisyo ang kung anong meron kami para lang maging ligtas si Mama?

It feels like I am being pulled in two different directions. On one side is my mom, my safety, my peace, and the only family I have left. On the other side is Zarya, the love of my life, the person I have waited for years to come back to.

Ang bigat-bigat. Parang kahit anong piliin ko, may mawawala. If I get close to Zarya, baka ilagay ko sa panganib ang buhay namin ni Mama. But if I stay away from her... it feels like I am losing a part of myself too.

"Fuck! Why does it have to be this hard?" I whispered, voice cracking a little. "Bakit kailangang ganito? Bakit kailangang pumili ako?"

Tears started to fall again, but this time it wasn't just from anger or fear...it was from confusion and heartache.

I know what I should do. Logically, to keep my mom safe, I have to listen. I have to stay low. I have to cut ties with anyone who might bring danger near us.

But Zarya... paano ko siya iiwasan? How do I turn my back on someone who already has my whole heart?

I sat there for a long time, just staring ahead, my mind full of questions with no easy answers. All I know right now is that the danger is real, my mom's safety is on the line, and the hardest decision of my life is just starting to weigh down on me.

I remembered Ryan's words again.

He has a point. Would it be worst if I choose myself just like she did before?

Fuck.

I started the engine again, but this time my chest felt full of pain and resolve at the same time. Ang bigat ng desisyon ko, pero alam kong kailangan. I would rather hurt now, and lose her for a while, than live with the guilt of losing my mom.

Stay low. Keep safe. Stay away. These three became my only rule from now on. Even if it breaks me, I will do it.

I turned into our street and slowed down as I got near the gate. I was still trying to calm my breathing, still replaying everything in my headz

And then my eyes caught it.

My heart stopped completely.

I saw Zarya in front of our gate, looking helpless.

So tama nga si Ryan. She's back.

I took a look at her sitting there, and my heart almost stopped. Ang sakit makita siya ganyan, umiiyak, basang-basa ng luha, like there is no other way for her. She lost the bidding, she's probably here to seek comfort.

Every fiber of my being wanted to run to her, pull her into my arms, and keep her.

But I bit my lip hard and forced myself to shut down those feelings. I remembered my decision.

I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, fix my coat, wiped my tears away, and forced myself to look fierce.

When I got out of the car, tinignan ko siya. But I did not show any expressions.

I quickly looked away like she was nothing more than a stranger passing by. I ignored her completely, as if I didn't saw her.

I walked straight past her and went toward the gate, I reached into my bag, got my keys, and tried to unlock the gate.

Pero sobrang nanginginig ang kamay ko, my hands were shaking so bad it was hard to put the key in. I wanted to cry out loud, and tell her how much I miss her.

When I was finally able to unlock the gate, she stepped right in front of me. She grabbed my arms, dahilan para hindi ako makapasok sa loob.

"Iris... Iris." Her voice was all shaky, patuloy ang pag iyak and she was trying so hard to speak. "We need to talk, please? Can we just talk even for a bit?"

Hearing her saying my name, makes me want to cut my own wrist. It's hard to see her like this, when all she probably wants is to see me.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do...act like the person I love most means nothing to me.