Chapter 60 Is Blood Really Thicker Than Love? #2
Then the nurses noticed Iris standing frozen at the doorway. One of them immediately stood up, at lumapit kay Iris to pulled her away from that room.
"Signora, non può entrare qui!" The nurse panicking.
(Ma'am, you cannot be here!)
Iris didn't even look at the nurse. She couldn't tear her eyes away from Zarya. Patuloy lang sa pagpatak ang mga luha niya, tuloy tuloy na halos ayaw na tumigil. But she didn't wipe them away, hinayaan niya lang na tumulo ito.
Then Zarya looked up. Her eyes locked straight with Iris's. There was no longing there, no softness, no love...not a single thing Iris had hoped to see.
Lahat ng nakita ni Iris sa mga mata ni Zarya ay puro sakit, at lungkot, and something that looked like a warning. Like Zarya was telling her to stay away, before she got hurt too.
The nurse pulled harder, trying to drag Iris out. That was when Zarya spoke. Her voice was rough, broken, and loud enough to cut through everything.
"Lasciateci in pace."
(Leave us alone."
The nurse stopped pulling, nagulat sila sa sinabi ni Zarya. Iris still couldn't speak, like she was choking on the words na gusto at dapat niyang sabihin.
Zarya glared at the staff, this time mas lalo pang lumakas ang boses niya. "Leave both of us right now. Fucking now."
There was no choice. The nurses stood up quickly, gave one last worried look, and hurried out the door.
As soon as the last one stepped out, Iris pushed the door shut behind them.
Dito na tuluyang bumigay si Iris. Halos manghina ang tuhod niya, at napahagulhol na siya nang mahina. Hindi na niya napigilan ang pag-iyak. Seeing the person she loved the most sa ganitong sitwasyon, it breaks her completely.
She took one shaky step forward, then another.
Zarya didn't move. She just stayed sitting on the floor, habang nakasunod ang tingin kay Iris. Tears still slowly rolling down her own face, tuloy tuloy na rin ang luha.
Iris bit her lip hard, trying so hard to be strong, trying not to cry harder...but she couldn't stop.
She got closer, until she was just a little distance away from Zarya, still looking at her like she was seeing her for the very first time all over again.
Zarya just stayed sitting on the floor, watching her, she didn't even blink, but her eyes were so empty and hurt.
When Iris finally knelt right in front of her, nagtitigan lang sila pero patuloy lang sa pagpatak ang mga luha sa mata nila. That eye contact was so tense, so full of everything they wanted to say but couldn't.
Iris couldn't hold it back anymore. Niyakap niya ng mahigpit si Zarya, halos ayaw na niyang bitawan.
And for a second, Zarya melted into her arms too. They both cried harder, mararamdaman nila ang bawat galaw ng balikat nila dahil sa iyak, and their bodies went soft against each other.
But just a few seconds later, pilit na tinulk ni Zarya si Iris palayo.
Iris fell back on the floor, completely shocked. She expected Zarya to be mad, she expected her to yell, but she never thought she'd push her like that. Tinignan niya lang si Zarya habang gulat na gulat pa rin ang mukha niya.
"Zarya, are you okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry Zarya, I... I didn't know. Wait ngayon alam ko na, Zarya, anyway and everything that happened, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry for your loss, I'm sorry you ended up—"
"Do I look okay? Hmm, Iris? Okay ba ko tignan? Mukha ba kong masaya, huh? Do you think I'm doing fine here? Putang ina, Iris—tangina, hindi ako okay!" Zarya let out a bitter laugh, tears still running down her pale face.
"I know, Zarya. I'm sorry, I'm here now okay? Andito na ako, and I swear to you, hinding-hindi na kita iiwan ulit. I'm so sorry, andito na ako Zarya, come with me, babalik na tayo ng Pilipinas. Tutulungan kita sa kaso ng ate mo, I–I would win her case for you. I will do anything para matulongan ka,
Zar."
Iris said with a pleading eye, habang patuloy sa pag-iyak.
Zarya glared at her, at mas lalo pang galit ang tono niya. "You would? Kaya mo ba talaga, Iris?"
Dahan dahang lumapit si Iris kay Zarya, pero may distance pa rin sa pagitan nila. Iris stared at Zarya na ngayon ay sobrang nakaka-awa tignan.
"Yes, zar. I'm down to cancel all the cases I have now and I will take care of her case for you, para sa ate mo, I promise you that. And once it's done, once we win the case, we'll go back to the Philippines and we will live freely, I swear that to you, hindi na ulit tayo magkakalayo."
Zarya stared at her, breathing hard. "No need, Iris. Hindi ko na kailangan ng tulong mo. I can do this all by myself."
"Zar..please. Let me get near you again, hayaan mo akong tulongan ka." Hinawakan ni Iris ang kamay ni Zarya, but Zarya quickly pulled her hands away from her.
"Let you near me again?" Zarya laughed, but it was full of sarcasm.
"Ilang beses ko na bang nagawa 'yan? at ilang beses mo akong tinaboy na parang basura ha?
Iris putangina wala na!...I am done! Sobrang sakit, Iris.
Everything hurts, that even talking to you again started to hurt me too."
Zarya stared at her, namumula na ang mata ni Zarya sa kakaiyak.
Iris looked away, parang ayaw niyang makitang nagwawala si Zarya at dahil pa sa kaniya. But Zarya held her chin, at pilit na pinapaharap ang mukha ni Iris sa kaniya.
"Look at me, Iris. Look who I am now." Zarya's voice cracked, and she paused to re-gain herself. "I am miserable, Iris. Sirang sira na ako, I am useless, worthless, and I am not far from being a mad woman. Damn it, Iris. Malapit na akong mabaliw dito! Wala kang mapapala saakin—"
"That is a lie, Zarya!" Iris raised her voice, habang tumutulo pa rin ang luha sa pisngi niya. "I know everything, and alam ko rin na ikaw ang nagpa-aral saakin. And do not even try to deny it, because you cannot change my mind anymore."
Biglang nagulat si Zarya sa sinabi ni Iris, that made her tilt her head. "What?...saan mo nalaman 'yan?"
Hindi nagsalita si Iris, she just stared at Zarya na ngayon ay parang baliw na kung tignan. It's not that she doesn't wanna say anything, kundi dahil halos hindi na siya makapagsalita dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman niya para kay Zarya.
"That's not true." Zarya denied it.
Iris shook her head, ayaw na niyang maniwala sa nga sinasabi ni Zarya dahil alam niya naman ang totoo.
"How many truths are you going to hide from me, hmm? All this time, Zarya akala ko I was the one pushing you away. But it was you all along. What did I do to you na kailangan mong ipamukha saakin that you don't give a fuck about me?!"
Zarya didn't responded, nakaupo pa rin siya sa sahig. She crumpled herself to her knees, at hinawakan ang ulo niya like it was about to explode.
"Zarya, fucking talk to me! Tell me all the truths you're hiding from me, FUCK!—"
"You wanna know more?!" Inangat ni Zarya ang ulo niya mula sa tuhod and stared at Iris.
"Well, fuck that! Total alam mo naman na pala, sasabihin ko nalang lahat. Iniwan kita ng walang paalam before not because I hated you or whatever. I left because I wanted to protect you. Nalaman ni papa, Iris. She knew everything about us. I got scared of what he might do to you, so I fucking left!
Tinapon ako dito sa Italy, and do you think my life here was good??? You're wrong, Iris. He cut off all my bank accounts, all the privileges I have."
Iris seemed scared sa tono ni Zarya. Hindi mo na malaman kung ano ang nangingibabaw, galit ba o sakit.
Iris face is full of confusion. "Then how did you..."
"How did I do that?" Zarya glared at her.
"Paano ko nagawang pag-aralin ka parin?? Because I fucking worked 7 days a week, and 6-8hours shift. Kailangan ko rin tipirin ang sarili ko, and to sell everything I have. Putangina Iris, I can't even boil a water when I was in the Philippines. But here? I learned how to make coffee,
I fucking learned how to make a fucking cocktails, and even cook dishes. Natutunan kong magpakumbaba dito, when I came from the top. I was once being served, pero dito I became a servant. I almost forgot I am a De Luca. Damn...I did all of that in the name of fucking love."
Habang nakikinig si Iris sa sinasabi ni Zarya, she couldn't help but teared up. She pushed herself to stand, and hug zarya pero hindi niya magawa. Her knees gave in completely.
"I'm sorry—" the only words that came out to her mouth, before Zarya cut her words off.
"No, don't be sorry." Zarya shook her head, biting the inside of her cheeks trying to calm herself down.
"I am telling you this, hindi para isumbat sa'yo lahat. Hinding hindi ko gagawin 'yon, I would never. Because I am willing to do that again if I have to. Sinabi ko ito sa'yo dahil gusto kong malaman mo kung gaano kita kamahal, Iris. I would sacrifice anything for you to have everyting.