10. Amber
Ispend two days between my friends and Jack, and as I’m flying home tomorrow, I agreed we’d go for a meal at his grandparents’ tonight. I know it’s for him to keep up the pretense of the relationship for the benefit of his family. But as I smile at his grandparents, and his sister, loving that they’ve welcomed me into their family, my heart aches so much.
Is it because I secretly want it to be real?
“Your family is lovely,” I say when we return to his apartment.
He doesn’t respond at first, but takes my hand, and we stroll from the car and enter the elevator.
“You”re staying with me tonight,” he says, his mouth by my ear as I watch the numbers on the panel as the elevator rises to his floor. “I want you in my bed tonight. I want to fuck you all night.”
My blush deepens, and my eyes flutter shut.
“Is that what you want?” he asks, his hands slipping inside my coat and catching me by the waist. “Is it?” He nips my earlobe, dragging it in his teeth.
I emit a moan, and he groans in response.
“Yes,” I murmur as the car continues to climb slowly upward.
He groans in my ear as his hands coast down to my thighs and then around to squeeze my ass, dragging my legs until they are wrapped around his waist. He strides one step and holds me tight against the elevator wall, his hard cock digging into my sex. And I can’t help but think the ride is taking far too long. I’m desperate to be filled with him. To enjoy how he makes me feel.
“I want you now,” I moan, grabbing two fistfuls of his charcoal gray shirt and dragging him in close.
He laughs. “You”re perfect.”
After a marathon sex session, too many orgasms to remember, I ache like I’ve never ached before. But it’s bliss.
“I think I could fall in love with you,” I say as I lay in his arms after yet another shower.
There’s a moment of silence coating the air as I wait for his reply. Wondering if he’s feeling the same way.
“Don’t,” he says. “I won’t ever love you, Amber.”
My heart drops into my stomach, his words rip me in two and I don’t think I can bring myself back together.
“I know.” My words are barely a whisper, because I know I’ve been fooling myself for thinking this could be more.
“I can’t love.” He hesitates for a beat of my heart as I take in his words. “That’s why I married you, because it doesn’t matter. We don’t matter,” he says, his voice shaky. I notice he doesn’t look at me, but stares at the wall. “I’m…”
Don’t say, You’re sorry.
I won’t be able to contain my tears if he shows me pity.
I sigh and hold up my palm to stop him from talking. “I never said I loved you, just that I could,” I say, trying to backpedal. Trying to make this easier, not only for him, but also for me.
“Sorry, Amber,” he says, saying the word I don’t want to hear and making it worse, not better.
I wish we could end this conversation.
“I got the message... loud and clear. Stop worrying; I won’t stalk you.”
But I know I definitely need the Atlantic Ocean between us. And the sooner I do, the better it will be for my heart.
I know he doesn’t want to commit to anyone. That’s why I was perfect.
I need to get on with my life. I told him what he wanted to hear. I told him I was the same, and the fact we live on different continents sealed the deal. He would never have married an American; that would be too close for comfort for his hardened heart.
I hate my heart got involved—when his heart didn’t.
I wait for Jack to fall asleep; it doesn’t take him long. It never seems to, he sleeps like a baby.
When he is, I push myself out of bed, dress as quickly as I can, and find my clothes that were strewn around his apartment as we rushed in after dinner.
I take my purse from the nightstand and stroll into his living room.
After finding a pen and notepad, I leave him my email address and a quick message to go with it.
FOR THE DIVORCE PAPERS, AMBER
From the doorway to his bedroom, I look at him one last time, Then I take out the check he gave me, take a picture to prove to my friends I won the bet.
I’m sure they’ll agree.
One Million Dollars.
It’s over.
I leave check with the message.
He can have the marriage certificate for free…
I’m no longer for sale.