11. Amber
For two weeks, I’ve moped around the office at work. Jade, Bree, and Charlie agree I won the bet, though they all think I need locking up for getting married in the first place.
I only told Bree about the million dollar check, showing her the picture on the airplane.
Again, she thought I needed putting in a straight jacket for not cashing it in.
We ended up having a discussion where she admitted she never gave a blow job to the air steward.
“I asked him to lie for me,” she said.
“Why?” She shrugged.
“I don’t know. I just feel that’s what everyone expects of me. You know … Happy Bree.” Her voice quivered as she spoke, and it broke my heart.
“And you’re not?”
She shook her head and broke down, telling me she was in love with her boss—her grumpy boss.
I also had to promise I would not tell a soul.
I told no one else about the one million dollars, but I printed out a picture and hung it on my corkboard in my office. It makes me smile.
I came from nothing, but I gave something for free.
Whereas, Jack has it all and gave me nothing in reality.
But it’s the way I want it.
Nothing between us, apart from a lousy piece of paper that I’ve convinced myself, means nothing.
I’m still urging my heart to follow my brain, though it’s a painfully slow process.
I smile as I sit in my bathtub.
I’m not normally one for the indulgence. Normally a shower is fine, but today I’m soaking in the tub with candles flickering around me, trying to ward off my need to dig into the ice cream container—again.
Instead, I sip on a large glass of white wine, though I shouldn’t. I’m meeting Ava, Sophie, Jade, and Charlie for a night out at a cocktail bar. Normally, we go straight after work, but tonight we’re doing it right and getting dressed up.
Half an hour later, I’m ready for a night out.
After making more waves with my long hair, I emphasize my large brown eyes with smoky eye makeup and swipe a light pink color over my lips.
I pull on a pair of slim-fitting cream trousers and a matching spaghetti-strapped top, then I don a pair of high-heeled pump before I give myself one last look, grab my jacket and head for the cab waiting outside.
Less than ten minutes later, I hug Charlie outside the club.
“Are you okay? You seem a little down,” she asks. She’s the most observant of my friends and I appreciate her so much right now.
I nod. “Nothing a few cocktails won’t fix.”
“Or getting on top of a man,” Jade says from behind.
“Or that,” I say.
But in reality, I’m not a one-night stand kind of girl, and I”m still hurt at Jack, despite only being in his company for less than a week. How can I trust my heart with any man right now?
“It’ll be fine,” Jade says. She’s not a big believer in love. She’s definitely a love-them-and-leave-them type of girl. “Let’s go inside and get a drink.”
Is that me?
Could it be me?
Get over Jack by finding another man.
“And Leon is waiting for you to give him a chance,” she continues telling me about our colleague who has been especially noticeable since we got back from Vegas.
“Leon isn’t Amber type,” Ava butts in. “I bet I could find her a nicer man.”
What they don’t understand is, I don’t want anyone, not really. I’d known Jack for one week, and I fell for him despite him admitting to liking casual dates and warning me that was all we were.
His honesty is respectable. Not that I liked what he said. And I really should have kept my heart guarded because of it.
So why am I wallowing?
Why am I thinking about him permanently?
Is it already too late? Am I in love with him?
I think I am. And I hate it. Hate that my heart has been shattered into pieces. Hate that I’ve let him get under my skin.
Ava’s hand touches mine with a firm but soft touch. I glance at her, seeing her bright blue eyes sparkle as she shakes her head. “You”re a strong woman. All you need is a little time and an espresso martini.”
I nod lightly, a hazy film covering my eyes. “I hate I feel like this.” Like my heart is broken in two, maybe it’s smashed to pieces. I shrug my shoulders, not understanding my feelings any longer.
“You need to get some closure,” Jade says.
“Closure?” I say.
“Date again. What you had with Jack wasn’t real, and you need to remember that. He chose you because you wouldn’t be around.”
“That’s a bit cruel,” Ava pushes.
Jade tilts her head to one side. She puts two firm hands on my biceps, looking me over with a concerned look. Her lips purse, and I can see her beautiful freckles dotting so delicately over her nose. “She needs to hear the truth.”
“I agree with Ava, you’re being cruel,” Charlie says.
Jade shakes her head. “No, Charlie. Cruel is leading someone on under a false pretense.”
I shrug. “He told me where I stood. I just never listened.”
A server appears with our first cocktails for the evening. Placing three drinks on the table, I take my drink and sip it.
“Keep drinking because tonight you’re enjoying yourself. No crying, no mulling over what happened... just drinking, singing, and dancing,” Jade says and winks.
“And I hear a delicious lawyer is very interested in you,” Charlie says. A chuckle in her tone.
I groan. “I’ve just heard and I’ve decided I’m swearing off men for the foreseeable future,” I say.
Maybe forever.
Especially since I have a knack for choosing the wrong ones.