17. Finn
Chapter 17
Finn
The number of cars parked in front of the garages and along the driveway makes me wonder if we’ve come on the wrong weekend.
Ava fidgets in her seat as I remove my seatbelt. She stares at the house for a little too long, and I rub my hand over hers. “It’ll be over before you know it.”
Mom and Dad come running out of the house; Mom has the largest smile on her face as she opens the door to Emmy. Dad opens Ava’s door, and I get out of the car to see him mouth, “Thank you.”
But before I see Ava’s reaction, my mom has taken Emmy out of the car. “Oh my goodness, look at her! She’s so beautiful.” Mom’s tears are streaming down her face as she picks Emmy up and squeezes her. “What is your name, princess?”
Emmy glances at Ava, who smiles back, which relaxes Emmy and probably gives her silent permission to give her name. “This is teddy.” Her scruffy yellow bear with long arms and legs is thrust between them. “And my name isn’t Princess. it’s Emmy Miller-Jacks.”
My head twists to Ava; she chews on her lip and lowers her gaze to the floor. I turn away as Mom clears her throat and raises her eyes at me.
“Now, isn’t that the prettiest name? Do you know my name is Emily Wilson-Jacks? We’re nearly the same, but that is between me and you, because now you need to call me Granny, and this is Grandad or Gramps,” she says and presses her mouth to her ear. “Or Grumps, because sometimes he is grumpy.”
Emmy laughs and parrots, “Granny and Grumpy.”
“Not good, Mom,” I say.
Mom waves her hand at me.
Dad helps me take our bags from the trunk of the car, and we take them up to my old bedroom.
“Her bedroom is ready; I’ve put her in the one adjoining yours,” Mom says, stroking Emmy’s back.
Adjoining yours.
I never thought that far ahead, never expected to be sharing a bedroom.
Mom must have seen the surprise on Ava’s face. “It’s a bit late to be worrying about us.”
I laugh. So does Ava.
I stroll back to the garden, where the rest of the family has congregated on the nice summer evening, and wonder how long this night is going to last.
“Are your parents close with Emmy?” Mom asks Ava.
“My dad is, but mom died a couple of years ago,” Ava says as I listen to her talk about what she went through a couple of years previously.
“Sorry about your mom, dear.” Mom says, her hand rubbing Ava’s arm. “Are you having therapy for it?”
“Therapy... oh no, I don’t have therapy.”
“You really should; it helps with the healing. You probably haven’t gotten over it. Especially with having Emmy and your life changing so drastically. You could be suppressing.”
“I’m fine,” Ava whispers.
Mom needs to stop talking and pretty damn quick. Ava didn’t grow up with the same luxuries, where therapists and private doctors were just a quick phone call away.
“It will help,” Mom pushes.
“I had Emmy to keep happy; I never had time to dwell. I suppose she became my therapy.” She pauses as though she’s contemplating what to say next.
But she doesn’t, and there’s an awkward pause.
“Therapy would have helped you.”
“I couldn’t afford it; I was a single parent on a newly qualified salary.”
“I’m sure Finn would have helped if he knew.” Mom clears her throat suddenly, trying to take her foot out of it, whatever it is, probably her mouth. I try not to grit my teeth too hard, but I feel like killing someone.
Ava glances at my father and then at me. She shrugs. “My dad helped me out with Emmy, but...” She doesn’t give a fuck. She grew up with nothing. “And well … you learn to get on with life, one foot in front of the other; eventually, it works out.” She glances at Emmy, who is walking over to us sleepily, and smiles. “You learn to realize life is worth living again.”
Ava smiles as she does. So typical. She waves her hand in the air and laughs, trying to make everyone feel at ease. “Sorry, not sure how this ended up being about me.”
And I want to scream at everyone in the room; they made her feel like crap, and she’s the one apologizing.
“I’m tired, Mommy,” Emmy says, and I want to pull her into my arms and cuddle her. My heart beats loud, seeing Ava sweep her up in her arms.
Her arms embracing her, never letting her go.
And I know Ava and Emmy are all I want in my life.
I hated her for hiding her from but I love her for everything else.
I never stopped loving her.
I want her.
I need her and my daughter in my life.
I’m in love with her, always have been and always will be. She makes me crazy; she makes me do things I would never have done. But she’s my forever.
She has always been mine, and I have always been hers.
How do I get her to believe it?