Evie #2
I’m not the only one who has been impacted by everything, and it isn’t just Matteo who’s been bearing the brunt and helping me carry the heavy load, either.
Caleb has also been impacted. He hasn’t been the same since my birthday, not since the night all the puzzle pieces clicked into place and he saw Marcus not as his dad but as something far scarier.
And staring at my brother now, I’m scared about how much this has affected him.
Before I can say anything, the doors to the courtroom open and everyone inside makes their way out, vacating the rows. I can imagine most of the women are hoping to leave their baggage in this room.
I know I wish I could.
“Ready to go?” Matteo whispers in my ear.
Looking at the now-empty courtroom before us with no judge, no security guards, and no Marcus, I dip my chin, rising on surprisingly strong legs. That is, until I turn around and see Sarah Martin.
My body locks up, freezing entirely as I come face-to-face with the one person I know I should speak to yet haven’t been able to.
My childhood best friend.
The one that suddenly deserted me after a sleepover we had.
Caleb must follow my line of sight because he leans in and whispers, “You should talk to her, Evie. You both deserve a conversation.”
I try to respond to my brother, try to say that I want to, that I desperately want to know what happened all those years ago, even though I already deep down do.
What I’m truly afraid of is hearing if she blames me.
I know I would. I know I’d be angry toward that house and toward that man and toward the friend that led me through the doors with a smile on her face, all the while knowing the monster that lurked inside.
I was far too young to realize that when my father said that I was his special little girl and that only I could show him the love he deserved, he was lying.
That he was grooming me to believe that love equaled pain.
I couldn’t have known he was hurting others.
He made me believe that all daddies did that to their little girls despite the tears and muffled screams.
Yet looking at my old best friend, I know I had a role to play.
After all, it wouldn’t have happened to her if she hadn’t been my friend.
“Dove?” Matteo whispers softly as Sarah waits for my move.
Exhaling a shaky breath, I murmur, “I’m going to go talk to her.”
“Are you sure?”
The note of concern in his voice is evident. Turning to face him, I lift my hand and gently cup his cheek. “I’ll be okay. I always am.”
His eyes flick back and forth between mine, searching, probing to see if I’m telling the truth. “Why don’t we walk across the road to the park? You two can walk and talk, and Caleb and I will stay on a bench nearby just in case you need us.”
My sweet man, always protecting my heart and my growing wings.
“That sounds good.”
Leaning down, he places a featherlight kiss on my cheek. “We will be right behind you.”
Caleb squeezes my shoulder. “Kieran is going to grab us all lunch, enough for Sarah, too, if she wants to join. You’ve got this.”
“Thanks, C.”
Taking a steadying breath, my hand slides off Matteo’s body as I slowly approach Sarah, my steps growing heavier with each one I take, the fear within me rising at what I’m worried she’ll say.
The truth I deserve to hear.
Stopping before her, we stare at each other until I break the tension with a small, “Hi.”
Her smile is sad as she parrots, “Hi.”
“Want to walk across the street to the park?”
She seems to sigh in relief. “I’d love that.”
Due to the press lingering at the front of the building, Sarah, Caleb, Matteo, Kieran, and I head out the back exit of the building, bypassing all the nosey reporters along the way.
It’s an entirely silent walk, equally heavy and light, the two contradictions confusing my poor heart.
It isn’t until we step through the park, the birds chirping and the noise of the city fading, do Caleb and Matteo leave Sarah and I to it.
Kieran separated with us at the courthouse to track down some food.
It takes one lap around the park before either of us speaks, and I’m ashamed to admit I’m a coward and that it isn’t me.
“I saw your mom sitting behind him in court today.”
The statement hangs heavily between us, the weight of it crushing my chest.
Nodding, I look down at my shoes as our leisurely pace slows. “That was Serena.”
Sarah’s steps seem to stutter before she falls into a comfortable rhythm with me once more. “I saw her standing by his side during the interviews, but I didn’t think once everyone came forward and the proof was presented that she’d still be behind him.”
Lifting my head, I squint at the blazing sun, my nose wrinkling. “I told her months before all of this came out. No matter how many times I pleaded with her to believe me, she didn’t change her mind. I had hope that she would come around, but…”
“I’m sorry, Evie.” She takes a deep breath. “I know how hard everything has been for me, so I couldn’t even imagine being in your shoes. My mom has been my biggest supporter through all this. I don’t know how I’d be functioning without her.”
My throat tightens, threatening to swallow all of my words before they have a chance to get out.
“I don’t know where to start. I heard you wanted to talk…
I just…” Coming to a stop, I find I don’t have the energy to move any longer, not as my vision blurs with unshed tears.
“I’m so sorry,” I gasp out. “When I saw your name on the list…the amount of guilt—”
Sarah steps forward with her own tears, her hands clinging to my forearms as she shakes her head vehemently. “No, don’t take on his guilt. It’s not yours to carry, Evie.”
“But it never would have happened if we weren’t friends.” Sniffling, I continue to choke on my words. “It never should have happened.”
“No, it shouldn’t have, but that’s not your fault, Evie. None of it was.”
“I’d hate me if I were you,” I heave around a sob. “I wouldn’t blame you if you do.”
Sarah blurs before me to the point where she’s just a mere blob. Stepping even closer, she reaches out and wipes away my tears, but the movement only makes them fall faster.
“I should be consoling you. It was my—” I can’t say it, can’t say the word father.
Not anymore.
Never again.
He should only be known as a monster.
“Evie, no one blames you, honey. We all know who the real culprit is. All of us.”
I try to get a handle on my emotions, try to control the tsunami that wants to flood my entire system. Sniffling, I pull back, wiping under my eyes and not daring to speak until I feel like I can without bursting into a puddle of tears.
“I don’t think you understand how much it means to me to hear you say that.”
“Is that why you haven’t spoken to anyone?” she asks.
Unable to form the word, I just nod, until a derisive snort escapes me as I throw my hand in the direction of the courtroom. “Especially considering everything online. Everything he said and Serena too.”
“Do you think you could ever forgive her?”
“God no. She decimated our relationship the day she told me she didn’t believe me. Everything after was just more nails in her coffin.”
“What about Caleb?”
Blowing out a shaky breath, I confess, “He’s struggling. I can’t ever see him speaking to either of them again.”
Sarah shakes her head. “Did she really not know?”
“I don’t think so, but if she did, she showed exactly what she would’ve done by burying her head in the sand.”
Sarah and I are walking again when she asks, “What do you think will happen to her? Everyone knows what side she stood on.”
I shrug. “I don’t wish any harm on her but the days of me caring about the outcome of her life died the day she chose him over me.”
Sarah nods, tucking a lock of her brown hair behind her ear. “I don’t blame you,” she says softly. “I’d feel the same.”
Taking a deep breath, I look at Sarah—really look at her. For the first time, I notice the bags under her eyes, the way her clothes seem a little too big on her, the way she picks at the skin around her nails.
I’m not the only one suffering.
“Sounds stupid to ask but…how are you doing?”
“It’s not stupid.” She sucks in a sharp inhale, only to let it all out in a rush. “Not the best. I suppose you have questions for me?”
“A lot, but I just don’t know where to start…”
Sarah wraps her arms around herself, her eyes getting a faraway glaze in them, and it makes me wonder if mine do the same, if this is the look Matteo searches for.
“I do want to apologize…for what I did to you. We were so young, Evie, but you were my best friend for years and I just…disappeared. No word, no explanation, there one day and gone the next. That was horrible of me.”
“I’d be lying if I said that didn’t crush me at the time but I understand now, Sarah. It makes sense and I will never blame you for how you handled it. I’d hate me too if I were in your situation.”
Sarah comes to a stop, not able to meet my eye as she says quietly, “That’s the thing.
I didn’t hate you, Evie. I wanted nothing more than to talk to you but he…
he threatened me…after. Said I couldn’t be your friend, that if I came back to the house, he’d be too tempted to…
” Her voice trails off as tears fill her eyes, but in an act of sheer determination, she straightens herself up, chin lifting and lids blinking as she all but refuses to let another tear drop.
“I was far too scared of going through that again. It would have broken me, and I couldn’t handle it.
I’m just so sorry that you were the catalyst in it all. ”
I wish I was as strong as Sarah, wish I could pull myself together, but all I can focus on is the fact that he took so much from me.
Isolated me, threatened me, harmed my friends, took my best friend away from me when I was going through the worst thing to ever happen to me.
She offered little moments of comfort, peace, and normalcy during a period where I was drowning.
“W-when did it happen?”