Evie #3
Sarah’s body locks up slightly, tensing at the sheer mention of it. “The last time I slept over at your house. It was a Saturday night, the weekend before the Fourth of July.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she says sadly. “Me too. You…I only had to endure it once.”
She doesn’t say anything after that, doesn’t need to. Just because I endured it more often doesn’t take away her pain or the other girls’. It just…makes it sad.
“Do you truly not blame me?” I ask, cocking my head as I study her.
To my surprise, I don’t see anything but sincerity as she shakes her head. “Not a single part of me. Even back then I knew it wasn’t your fault. I was just so scared, Evie. He said he’d kill Humphry if I told anyone.”
I can’t help but gasp at that. Humphry was Sarah’s family pet, a brown Labrador and the cutest guy I had ever seen. He’d come over and stay with us during sleepovers all the time; he made me feel so safe.
Anger swells within me. “He threatened Caleb and my mom…then Matteo.”
“He’s good at his threats.”
“He was terrifying,” I say numbly.
We fall quiet after that, staring off into the distance of the park, Matteo and Caleb somewhere near watching our every movement and probably wondering what was just said to shut us both down.
“Some of us have created a support network. Some of the girls from…” Sarah clears her throat. “You should come. We’re going to do our first meet-up next week. I think it would help us all a lot.”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I whisper, “Can I think about it?”
Nodding, she waves her hand in the air. “Of course! Some of the women get too triggered so we created a group chat. You can’t talk about details but it’s nice to not feel so alone.”
“I’d love to join, but if it makes anyone feel uncomfortable I’d understand.”
“We’ve already spoken to all the members. I promise, Evie, they’re fine with it. They know that you suffered, too. They aren’t holding anything against you.”
“Okay.”
Feeling eyes on my back, I peek over my shoulder, spotting Matteo and Caleb standing near a bench while Kieran approaches, arms laden with takeout bags.
“Are you free for lunch?” I ask. “Do you want to join us?”
Following my line of sight, Sarah gives me a sad smile. “I would love to, but my mom and partner are waiting for me across the street.”
“How are they?”
“My mom is struggling with it all. She says she should have seen the signs but…no one did. She’ll probably carry the guilt and sadness to her grave, especially because I kept it to myself for all those years.
I only told her once I saw it on the news.
It was like word vomit, it just kept coming up in spades.
” A smile suddenly comes to her face. “My partner, though, she knew. I told her about it a month into our relationship. I have no idea what compelled me to but I felt safe with her. Five years later and we’re still going strong.
I’m hoping a proposal is in the cards soon. ”
“Does she make you happy?”
If the widening smile is anything to go by, I have my answer, but she confirms by dipping her chin. “Incredibly.”
“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.”
As we loop back to the park entrance, I grow the courage to say, “I know we were young when we were friends, but I still look back at that time and cherish how close we were. I know it can never be the same but I would love to keep in touch.”
She turns on her heel at my words, clasping my shoulder as she declares, “I would love nothing more than to be friends again, in whatever capacity we can handle.”
“Baby steps?” I suggest.
A smile reappears as she repeats, “Baby steps.”
As we’re hugging and saying our goodbyes, I see my mom exit the courtroom, sunglasses perched on her nose as she hurries down the steps, but she freezes as she spots us.
Pulling back, I don’t let my gaze leave hers. Sarah turns and finds her too because she squeezes my hand and whispers, “Protect your peace, Evie. You deserve it. We all do.”
And with that, she gives me one last squeeze before sauntering over to her mom and partner waiting for her across the street.
Protect your peace.
Doing exactly what Sarah said, I protect my peace and give my mother my back, walking away from her and the man she chose over the safety of her children.
It isn’t easy. Despite everything she’s said to me, a part of me just wants my mom, wants her to hug me and say it’s all right, say that she was sorry and had no idea what he did. That she believes me, loves me, and will never let him hurt me again.
But that will never happen.
Anytime I have the sudden feeling of wanting my mom, I’ll give myself the love I deserve, the respect and kindness, the safety she never showed me. And on the days I can’t do it for myself, I’ll let Matteo be my safe place to land and rest my wings.
Because from now on, I am only ever heading toward safety.
My point is only further proven as Matteo meets me halfway from the bench, unable to wait. He wraps me in his arms, kisses the top of my head, and murmurs, “I’ve got you, Dove.”
“I love you, forever and always,” I whisper.
“Forever and always, my beautiful girl. I love you.”