Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Delaney
Leia’s strapped into her booster seat in the back of my brother’s truck, and my stomach is a knot of nerves as we wait for Levi.
My mom went behind my back and talked him into getting Leia horse riding lessons at Plain Daisy Ranch.
Then Levi went ahead and told her it was happening.
So now, here we sit, waiting for him to finish raiding my mom’s kitchen before we leave.
He jogs out of my parents’ house, still chewing a biscuit from dinner. Levi rents the house behind my parents. Well, he doesn’t pay rent. He’s never home anyway, and my parents are too all in on his rodeo dream to demand rent from him.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, crumbs tumbling onto his shirt as he hops into the cab. He looks back at Leia. “Ready?”
“Yep!” She’s all smiles and excitement.
The minute she was old enough, I put Leia on a horse.
It’s one of those things I wished I was comfortable with, so I wanted to make sure my daughter would be.
Then I realized that if I was too afraid to ride, she might be too, so I joined her lessons.
I’ve tried to raise her to be fearless, even if I’m not.
But she’s still cautious, studies everything before she feels she can trust it.
“You good?” Levi glances at me, half a biscuit still in his mouth, turning the key in the ignition.
“Yes.”
“Just making sure. Mom said you wanted to go to Wild Bull, which, for the record, offends me deeply. That guy’s a class-A—”
“I get the point.” I nod toward the back seat.
“Sorry. Not used to having kids around.”
“I know.” I give him a small smile.
He manages to get the rest of the biscuit into his mouth without his hands, which is a disturbing talent I didn’t know he had.
“You could’ve eaten before we left.”
“Nah, I told Nash we’d be there in fifteen.”
Nash. Bennett’s roommate, along with his cousin, Jensen.
“Nash will be there?”
Levi side-eyes me at the light. “How do you think I got her in? Why?”
“You’re very inquisitive this evening. I’m just curious.” I cross my arms and turn toward the window, watching the farmland roll by.
My parents didn’t move to the city this time. They wanted more land. So now we’re out here among all the farms even though we’re not actual farmers. It’s quieter out here than in the city of Willowbrook. More peaceful. Less hectic.
“Congrats on the belt. I haven’t seen you since you won. Speaking of, where’ve you been staying?”
He checks the rearview mirror. “Nowhere.”
His smirk says otherwise. Probably seeing someone or multiple someones.
“One day a woman’s going to knock you on your a—butt.”
“I’d like to see that.” He laughs as though that’s the most absurd idea in the world.
We drive in silence, and I try not to obsess over whether Nash will see some resemblance to Bennett when he meets Leia.
The secret I’m carrying feels heavier with every mile.
I brought Leia back here to feel safe, to be herself again, and today is about giving my daughter the chance to do something she loved back in California.
Levi drives under the gateway sign with the horseshoe on it that reads Plain Daisy Ranch.
He turns off onto the road that leads around to the stables.
I spent a good portion of my childhood on this ranch, and even though I come to The Perfect Petal every day, it’s on the outer edge of the ranch.
I’ve avoided venturing deeper in, afraid that too many memories would crush me.
The second Leia spots the corral, she squeals.
“That’s my girl. No scaredy-cat like your mom.” Levi beams, proud she shares his love for horses.
“I hope Wren comes,” Leia says.
Levi stops the truck. My heart stops too.
“Is she coming?” I ask, forcing my voice to stay level.
Leia shrugs. “She said she was going to convince her dad.”
“That would be fun, wouldn’t it, Laney?” Levi’s got a grin that screams mischief. He knows something.
“Duh.” She shakes her head at him.
He laughs and climbs out of the truck, raising a hand to Nash where he stands by the fence.
Nash is cute—rugged, tall, blond hair always tucked under a hat, with eyebrows that are darker than his mop of hair.
He looks as if he was born to wear tight Wranglers.
I’m pretty sure he has a thing for Poppy, but as far as I know, they’ve never crossed the line.
Levi helps Leia out while my thoughts spin. Her face lights up as though I just gave her an extra hour before bedtime.
“Mom, look!” She gasps and points at two ponies circling the corral.
Levi hoists her onto his shoulders and jogs the rest of the way to Nash. Her joy is contagious, and for a moment, I forget why I was so worried about bringing her here.
“Wren!” she shouts.
A dark-haired girl steps out from the stables wearing riding boots and a helmet.
Levi can’t get Leia down quickly enough, and the two girls run toward one another, clinging to each other like long-lost friends. Levi glances over his shoulder at me, but I’m already staring at the barn entrance.
“Wren wouldn’t stop begging me,” Nash explains. “Bennett’s not home tonight, so I figured I’d tire her out. Poppy might swing by though.”
My anxiety eases that I only have to worry about Nash or Poppy seeing some kind of resemblance. Even though I’ve compared their pictures a million times. If someone knew, they might see it, but according to everyone, she’s my mini-me.
Leia and Wren run back over to me, and Leia introduces me. The second I look at Wren beside my daughter, I see enough similarities that I’m not sure how anyone hasn’t noticed.
“You’re the only one who can do braids like my aunt Briar,” Wren says. Her hair sticks out of her helmet, unbraided.
“That’s why Leia is always coming home and asking me for specific braids, I guess.” I squat down. “Want me to braid your hair now so it doesn’t bother you?”
“Yes please!” She rushes to the picnic table and sits on the bench, waiting patiently for me.
I dig through my purse for a brush and some elastic bands I always keep in there for Leia.
“I’m going to get this one started,” Nash calls to me, then looks at Leia. “You ready?”
“I was born ready,” she says, deadly serious.
It makes him chuckle. “That’s what I like to hear.”
“She can ride Biscuits, Nash!” Wren shouts.
I sit on the table, legs bracketing Wren’s sides, and brush out the tangled chaos of her hair.
“She’s riding Sparkles,” Nash says.
Leia’s eyes widen as she spots the black pony, then she turns to look at me. “Mom!”
“I know.”
“What?” Wren asks, trying to turn around, but I straighten her.
“Her horse in California looked just like Sparkles.”
“Really?” Wren’s legs swing under the table.
I want to ask her where her dad is tonight. Is he on a date? He doesn’t wear his wedding band anymore. Maybe he goes outside of Willowbrook to date. I hate the jealous feeling that’s growing inside me.
“Nash said you went to school with them,” Wren says.
“I did.”
“You’re Aunt Poppy’s friend?”
“I am.”
“And Daddy’s high school girlfriend?”
My fingers freeze.
“I heard Emmett and Daddy talking.”
“That was a long time ago.”
She shrugs. “I know. Before my mommy.”
“Yep.” I try to keep the emotion from my tone. This is a little girl who probably misses her mom and doesn’t need to hear my jealousy that her dad picked her mother.
“Everyone wants my dad to get married again. They think he’s lonely.”
I should not be having this conversation with her. I glance at Levi, who’s cheering Leia on by the fence.
“Well, that’s his decision, right?”
“You’re pretty.”
“Thanks.” My fingers work fast to finish the braid, desperate to end this conversation.
“I told my daddy to ask you out.”
My fingers tremble. I wish I could scream at Levi to get over here and save me. “Oh… well…”
Strike me down now for wanting to know what he said.
“Are you almost done?”
I want to ask what her dad said, but I’m sure I won’t get the answer I want. Seven-year-olds bounce around topics like a scroll through social media.
I secure her braid and hand her the helmet. “All done.”
She smooths her hand down her head and smiles. “Thanks.”
Then she puts her helmet on her head, staring at me with those same blue eyes that used to stare back at me through my phone screen when I’d search them out as a reminder that Kristie was what Bennett wanted.
She rests her knees on the bench of the picnic table and wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me tightly.
Emotion clogs my throat. I’ve never felt more like a horrible person. Here I am hugging his daughter, and he has no idea the little girl in the corral is his too.
“You’re really nice. Leia’s lucky to have you as her mom.”
Wren runs off without saying anything more. Nash scoops her up and carries her over to Biscuits.
A few minutes later, Levi saunters over and sits beside me. “How you doing?”
“Why do you keep asking that?”
Silence stretches out between us.
Levi leans back on his hands, both of us staring at the girls. “It’s a little unfair, right?”
“What is?”
“You braiding both of his daughters’ hair?”
My stomach drops, and I freeze, unable to look over at my brother. “What are you talking about?”
He sits up and lowers his head to shoot me a look. “You know damn well what.”
I glance at the girls, then around us. “Levi…”
“Has he seen her yet?”
“How did you know?” I’ve never told anyone about my affair with Bennett. According to my family and everyone else, I got with Sean, and we were pregnant immediately.
“You forget, I was out in California visiting you right before you dated Sean. I’ll give it to you, you put on a really great act, but I woke up once in the middle of the night and saw you crying on the balcony.
Then I came back to Willowbrook, and suddenly Bennett and Kristie have moved back.
Honestly, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure I was right until you just confirmed it. ”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“First of all, it’s none of my business. Second, I thought you were the one who left him for whatever reason.”
I shake my head. “It was him.”
“I’m not sure he wanted too though, right?” He arches an eyebrow.
“Please—”
“I’m serious.” He holds up his hands. “From my observation, Bennett never looked very happy those months before Wren was born. He always seemed to be somewhere else in his head when we were all together. Her too. I thought maybe it was a marriage thing. What the hell do I know about living with someone for your entire life, day after day? Sounds like complete torture.”
“Grow up, Levi.” I swat his leg.
“Then you met Sean, and I figured you’d tell me. She looked so much like you when she was younger but now…” He cringes.
“God, Levi.”
“Does Sean know?”
I nod. “From the start.”
“He loved her like she was his.”
“He did.” I look at Leia, who is smiling but concentrating to make sure she does everything right, while Wren is relaxed and laughing. They’re so opposite.
“But Bennett doesn’t see it?” Levi asks, pulling my thoughts away from Sean.
“He hasn’t met her.”
“Yet.”
I wrap my arms around myself as if that’s going to shelter me. “It seemed like the right thing at the time.” My voice is small, pained.
“I’m not judging,” Levi says, a bit softer now. “But you can’t keep this secret now that you’re back, and you brought her with you.”
I close my eyes for a second, fighting the lump in my throat. “You think I don’t want to tell him?” My voice cracks. “You think I haven’t rehearsed it a million times over? I’ve come close so many times, but—”
Levi looks at me, his jaw tight. “So why haven’t you?”
I stare at my feet and inhale a deep breath. “Because it changes everything. Because once it’s out, I can’t take it back. And I don’t know if I’m ready to take away the small amount of peace I’ve managed to give her since we came back.”
He doesn’t say anything for a while. “He deserves to know, Laney.”
“And what about Leia?” I say, my voice shaking now. “Does she deserve to have her life flipped upside down again? To know that the man she thought was her dad, the one in jail, isn’t and that her new best friend’s dad is? What would that do to her?”
Levi jumps off the table. “Your life already blew up like someone threw a grenade at it. You have to start over anyway. Why not get all the lies and bullshit out of the way and start with a clean slate?”
“You weren’t there when Sean was arrested. When I had to pack up her life almost overnight. When she cried because she didn’t get to say goodbye to her father or her friends. I told her we were going somewhere safe. That’s what this town was supposed to be for her, a fresh start.”
“You can’t have secrets and a fresh start, Laney,” he says gently. “The two can’t coexist. You know that. You just found out that you were lied to for seven years. Made to believe your life was something it wasn’t. Why would you do the same to her? To him? Tell them and be free from it all.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Tears fill my eyes.
“She deserves the truth. So does he.”
Leia’s laughter rings through the warm air, sweet and wild and full of everything I’m trying so hard to protect.
I nod, the tears falling freely now.
“It’s going to be messy as hell,” he says. “But you’ll come out better for it. You all will.”
I force a smile and get up from the table.
He pulls me into a hug, as if it’s his promise to be there with me.
“I’ll tell him,” I whisper.
“Sooner the better.”
I nod again, but I know the truth.
Saying it and doing it are two very different things.