28. Miles
MILES
W ell, shit. My suspicions were confirmed out here in this bitter, cold ocean.
Jenna’s vulnerability when I bring up her dad stirs something in me I wasn’t prepared for.
It’s a question that’s been gnawing at me for weeks—what if the man who saved me was somehow Jenna’s dad?
The way I feel so connected to her. The similarities in the timing of my accident and her dad’s death, it’s all too coincidental.
Now I’m sure of it and I’m freaking the hell out.
Her heart cracked wide open at the mere mention of her dad.
My chest tightens and the cold seeps in.
I try to steady my breathing but I’m spiraling.
I’m the reason her dad’s not alive. The guilt consumes me as I picture that night.
Strong arms throwing me on the long board, paddling us in.
I never saw his face, but I can almost picture it now.
The thought turns my stomach. I have to tell Jenna.
Twenty-five years after nearly losing my life, I find the daughter of the man who saved me.
And I’m completely in love with her. That’s some serendipity shit.
The last thing I want to do is reopen old wounds and hurt her.
She deserves to know—but not now. I need time.
I need to figure out how I even begin to share this with her.
I surprise us both when I blurt out that I’m falling for her. It’s true. But I’m deflecting, shielding myself from this new truth I’m carrying. Because it’s heavy. Too heavy to say out loud yet.
We drive to Jenna’s house to get her car and her things. She’s packing enough clothes for a week. We’ll both be in and out of her house checking on the builder’s progress. But in the meantime, we’re cohabitating—awfully early in the relationship.
“If this is too much,” Jenna starts slowly, “you know, me living with you…I can sleep on your couch. We don’t have to dive in headfirst.” She puffs out her cheeks like she is literally holding her breath, waiting for my response.
I laugh softly and reach for her hand, still cold from the ocean and the late October air. “I just told you I’m falling for you,” I murmur, eyeing her carefully while still keeping my eyes on the road. “Why would you think I’d want you anywhere but in my bed with me?”
Jenna shrugs. “I’m just making sure. This is a lot…and you’ve been single, you know? I don’t want to scare you off.” Her voice is uneasy, and it makes my chest hurt. Tell her, my conscience urges. But I don’t.
Instead, I kiss her hand and look over at her. “I’m not scared,” I say, hoping it reassures her.
Jenna sighs, resting her head against the seat. “Good. Me neither.” The smile she gives me makes me forget I have anything to hide.
I pull up behind her car and throw mine into park. “Do you want me to come in with you while you pack?” I ask.
Jenna shakes her head. “No, it’s fine. You go pick up food and I’ll meet you back at your place.” She glances at the house, smiling wistfully. “It’s going to be weird not being here. I was starting to get used to it.”
Something shifts inside me, making me uncomfortable. I want her to get used to being at my place—with me. I’m pretty sure she no longer has one foot out the door, but the fear is still nagging at the back of my mind. I give her a tight smile. “Well, you won’t be alone now,” I say cautiously.
Jenna grins. “I am very excited about that.”
I pull my keys out of my pocket and take the house key off the ring before handing it to her. “Pete will be excited too,” I tell her. “Fair warning though, he’s going to try to sleep in bed with us.”
Jenna laughs easily and seems more relaxed. “I like cuddling.”
I lean forward and tip her mouth toward mine with my finger. I plant a soft kiss on her lips. “Okay, go get your things. I’ll see you at home.” Home. I didn’t mean to say it, but I like the way it sounds.
Jenna is out of the car without a second thought. “Bye!” she calls. “Oh! Don’t forget the guac.”
I give her a salute and I’m off.
I spot Nate’s car when I pull into our favorite little Mexican spot. Through the window, I can see him scrolling his phone, probably waiting for a take-out order. I get out of the car quickly so I can catch him.
“Yo,” I say, nodding in his direction, as I step inside. I walk up to the counter. “Pickup for Miles,” I tell the girl behind the register.
“Okay, it’ll just be a few minutes,” she says with a smile.
“No problem.” I turn and walk toward Nate. “Fancy meeting you here.”
“What are you up to?” Nate asks. I notice he’s without Caden.
“Picking up food for Jenna and me,” I reply, eyeing him curiously. “Where’s Caden?”
“With Mom and Dad. I’m grabbing dinner for all of us,” Nate says with a smirk.
“What the hell. No one invited me?” I scoff, feigning annoyance.
“I called you. Check your phone.” Nate elbows me.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and sure enough, there are a couple of missed calls from Nate and my mom. “My bad. Jenna and I were surfing.”
Nate rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. “Should have known. Did you convince her to stay yet?”
I shrug. “Maybe. She’s actually staying with me for a week or two. Her roof caved in last night.” I laugh as I say it because the whole thing is so mind-blowing.
“What? Dude.” Nate shakes his head.
“I know. Danny said she needed a roof, but no one expected this.” I exhale.
“That’s not what I am saying dude to. Dude. Miles, you’re letting this girl live with you already?” Nate’s eyebrows shoot up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? You haven’t been serious with someone in a long time. It seems fast.”
“So? That doesn’t have to mean anything,” I say, going on the defensive. “Besides. there are things about her you don’t know.”
“She likes surfing? Unlike Erin.” Nate laughs. This is typical Nate, making jokes to bite back what he really wants to say.
“No.” I shake my head, suddenly serious. “I don’t think I should tell you.” I push my lips together, mulling it over.
The girl at the counter calls Nate’s name. He walks up to pay, collecting his bags, giving me a chance to be thoughtful about how I tell him this.
“You have to tell me now,” he pushes. “Is she dying or something?”
I gawk at him in confusion. “What? No. She’s not dying. At least I don’t think so.”
“Then what?” He will not give this up, and it’s my own fault for bringing it up. Maybe I do need to tell someone. I have to get this off my chest. Nate’s my brother. He wants what’s best for me. I’m sure he’ll have some advice.
I scratch my chin, staring at the floor before meeting Nate’s assessing gaze. “You can’t tell Mom and Dad. Not yet. I haven’t even talked to Jenna about it,” I warn, giving him a pointed look.
Nate holds up his free hand defensively. “Okay, okay. What? ” He’s losing his patience with me.
“I think Jenna’s dad might be the guy who saved me. Back in ’97,” I say solemnly.
“What the fuck ? No way.” Nate’s jaw drops in disbelief. “That guy died.”
“Yeah, I know . I just found that out a few days ago, actually. Funny that you know though and never thought to share that tidbit of information.” I frown at my brother.
“What was I supposed to do, randomly bring up something that’s painful for you and make it worse? Would you also like it if I sporadically bring up your divorce?” Nate taunts.
“Point taken,” I acquiesce.
“Mom told me. She tells me everything.” He grins, proud of himself in that obnoxious younger brother way.
“Well. Jenna told me her dad died on the beach. I assumed he drowned. But tonight, she told me he had a heart attack.” I sigh. “It might all be a crazy coincidence but…”
“Oh. So, you don’t know for sure then,” Nate says, frowning.
“I mean…how many people do you think had a heart attack on Cove Beach?” I narrow my eyes.
“It is weird,” Nate admits.
Just then, the girl calls my name. I step up and pay while Nate waits. We walk out together, both of us mulling over this new information.
“Just…don’t say anything until I figure it out, okay?” I say. “I’m asking you as your brother.”
“Fine.” Nate sighs as he starts walking toward his car. “You just drop a bomb on me before I go see Mom and Dad and expect me to keep it a secret?” he grumbles.
“ Yes ,” I say firmly. “Please.”
“Okay,” Nate says, opening his car door. “I gotta go. This food is probably cold by now.”
“Later,” I call after him, giving him a wave.
I have to go back for the guacamole.
When I walk through the door, Jenna’s curled up on the sofa with Pete beside her, both of them wrapped in a blanket, perfectly content—like this is exactly where they’re meant to be. The only thing missing is me.
“Hi. You’re back.” Jenna smiles warmly at me. “I missed you.”
I put the bag down and walk over to the back of the couch, leaning down to kiss her. “I ran into Nate. We were just catching up on the weekend,” I say. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Pete and I were just making ourselves at home. Well, I guess Pete is already at home.” She wrinkles her nose, embarrassed maybe.
I lean down and brush my nose against hers, pressing my forehead to hers. “So are you,” I whisper, kissing her again.
Tell her. My conscience urges.
Not yet.