CHAPTER 19
Olivia
A nytime I’ve ever had to do something I dread in my life, it’s gone one of two ways.
One: The opportunity to talk to said person or deal with said situation just won’t present itself, and I find myself scrambling to make it happen.
Or two: The opportunity over presents itself and I simply chicken out.
I realize I’m in the middle of option two when Asher walks into the Ashbys’ kitchen after dinner.
I wait for someone, anyone else to follow him in, but they don’t.
In fact, we’re completely and utterly alone—the air around us filled with tension—as I pour my sparkling water into a red Solo cup.
Nausea washes over me briefly at the situation, and I beg myself not to gag.
Pregnancy sickness mixed with nerves really is the fucking pits.
I had a whole plan before now—come straight out with it, rip the Band-Aid off.
But when I walked onto the big house patio to see Asher lying in the grass—looking drop-dead gorgeous in navy cargo shorts, a gray Carhartt T-shirt that clings to him in all the right places, his worn-in New York Giants hat turned backward, and playing with Billi—the sight threw me off my game completely.
The smile he was wearing was so genuine and so unlike the broody, mysterious man I’ve gotten used to.
The sight hit me in ways I can’t explain.
Taking a deep breath, I turn to face him. His tan is deeper after a few weeks of summer heat and if my body wasn’t already a total slut for this man before, it is now.
“You doin’ your best to avoid me, Liv?” he asks as he cracks the top on a tall, skinny can of Corona Sunbrew and takes a sip.
“No …” I lie. My eyes drift over him as his throat works to swallow and I wonder if it’s possible that being pregnant with a man’s child makes him even more attractive.
Because right now, I can barely find the strength to pull my eyes away and meet his all-consuming gray gaze. I hope our baby gets those eyes.
Holy shit. Our baby. I instantly start to sweat with the secret I’m harboring and blurt out the most generic question I can think of.
“Are you on call today?” I ask, noting the non-alcoholic beer choice as I take a sip of my bubbly water, trying to act cool when I’m in fact sweating like a pig.
He nods, but he doesn’t break our eye contact.
“Are there usually a lot of fires to fight on the Fourth?” Apparently, I’m interviewing him for the local news.
“Always at least one daredevil lighting something on fire with a homemade bottle rocket,” he offers.
“Sounds like a pain.”
“Just part of the job.” Asher takes another sip and his eyes study me as I look out to the yard.
He sighs as he sets his beer down, casually resting one big, inked hand against the counter. He points between us, giving me an upward nod. “What is this, Liv?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, my voice cracking at the end of the sentence. Perfect.
He watches me for a beat before slowly moving closer. There goes my damn heart rate again. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so nervous around a man in my life. But then again, every single thing in my life, especially when it comes to him, feels completely and utterly out of my control.
“We’re not gonna let what happened between us make things awkward.” His deep rasp settles the blood pounding through my veins to a slower pace. “Understand?”
“Y-yeah,” I say, looking up at him as his hand darts out to grab my cup, setting it down on the table, before he brings both to rest on my shoulders.
“We said we were friends, and that’s what we are.” His thumb grazes my bare arm just enough for my skin to begin to sizzle under it. “I’m not having any of this nervous Liv every time you’re around me.”
I watch his plush lips as he speaks, remembering what it feels like when they’re pressed to mine. How his beard felt as it tickled my face.
“You good?” he asks, cutting into the memory.
My eyes flit back to his. “Right. Yes.”
God, I am a total flake right now.
Asher’s broad palms slide the rest of the way down my arms, and he takes my hands in his.
“I don’t regret it,” he offers honestly. “Me neither,” I say, a heavy feeling settling in my womb, as if my body is screaming at me to tell him the truth.
“From now on, when we see each other, it’ll be just like it was before the wedding. Nothing’s changed.”
Everything has changed.
I can tell he senses my nervousness, and maybe he’d understand if I could just get the balls to blurt out why, but instead …
“I like to have a plan, always … and I didn’t plan that night,” I mutter.
“Aye, but sometimes life forces you to just live in the moment.”
I scoff. “I don’t live in the moment well.”
“But you are capable of it, Liv.”
“How do you know?” I ask, searching for any reassurance.
He leans in slightly and his delicious smell, how close he is to me, it all makes me temporarily dumb.
“Because I’ve seen you come, and there was no plan there.” His eyes search mine. “I’ve never seen you look so fucking pretty.”
I instantly blush with the idea of him watching me so intently that night.
“ Friends are honest.” His lips curve up as he fixes his still backward hat on his head. His arms flex as he backs up, and it’s so damn sexy.
I’m pregnant!
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say the words out loud, but they never come. Because apparently, I don’t live in the moment. And I am a chicken shit.
“Hey, we’re four on four,” Haden says to Asher, breaking the moment between us as he pops his head in the patio door and taps the frame.
“Coming to watch, Liv?” Haden asks.
I nod with a nervous smile.
I’m pregnant! is still on the tip of my tongue as Asher tosses me a final glance before following Haden out.
Beelining to the bathroom, I splash a little cold water on my face. I stare at myself, knowing I have to tell him, I just have no idea how I’m ever going to muster the nerve.
I use a bouncing Billi on my lap to distract myself from all the incredibly gorgeous men in the middle of the Ashby yard ready to play an impromptu game of touch football.
Mabel has been picked up by her school friend to go swimming before coming back here to watch the fireworks Cole has planned.
Ginger says he’s been talking about this for weeks.
I sit with Cassie at the big table while CeCe, Dean, Granny Dan, and Jo fill out the outdoor sectional on the patio.
The two teams line up for their game of shirts and skins or, as they’re calling it, Stars and Stripes.
The large silver pines that frame the open space are the game’s backdrop as the orange sun sinks low behind Sugarland Mountain.
Asher, Haden, and Walker are on one team. Wade, Cole, Nash, and Hunter are on the other.
“Can’t wait to destroy you all,” Hunter chuckles as he turns his worn-in hat backward and starts to stretch.
He’s a big guy just like his brother, fit from the rodeo circuit and training, I assume.
His dark blond hair just touches his forehead, and I can see why he’s earned his playboy reputation.
Every girl who loves the rodeo loves to watch Hunter Black, and rumor is he uses it to his advantage.
“There’s only three of us, but I promise you’ll be begging for mercy, boy.” Haden winks from the other side of the yard.
I turn and look at Cassie. “Men,” we both say at the same time.
“Seriously though”—she laughs—“they have no idea what they’re in for. I’ve seen Haden’s old game tapes. He’s gonna decimate the Ashby brothers.”
Cole pulls a quarter out of his pocket.
“See, baby! That cash came in handy after all!” Ginger hollers, cupping her mouth so her husband can hear her. Cole flips her the bird, then shakes his head as he tosses it in the air.
I hear Asher call heads when the coin hits the air.
“It’s heads,” Cole announces.
Asher looks at Haden and grins that smile I wish he wore more often. Haden nods for the three teammates to regroup for a chat.
“The art of intimidation, fellas,” Haden says as they pull off their hats, then their T-shirts, before tossing them to the side of the yard.
Cassie whistles as my mouth turns to sand at Asher, Haden, and Walker putting on a little show, flexing at the other team in just their shorts.
“Christ almighty.” Dean chuckles, flexing his frail biceps. “You three almost look as good as I do under a T-shirt.”
Asher replaces his hat on his head backward.
His eyes find mine across the yard, and my heart drops to the pit of my stomach as the chatter around me fades to an echo.
My gaze is focused solely on him, as if I am in some sort of trance.
God, he’s even better under his clothes than I could have ever imagined.
And I’ve imagined it. My eyes move to his wide, muscled shoulders and smooth chest covered in ink.
Hawk wings and italic script illustrate his pecs, and his biceps and forearms are lined with thick veins that extend to big, tattooed hands.
A light dusting of hair leads to a deep V that disappears into his shorts and holy shit … abs.
Haden throws him the ball and he licks his lips as he catches it.
CeCe leans into my side. “Blink, bestie.”
I elbow her and pull my eyes from him as Cole calls the first play.
The next hour passes in a blur of hot, sweaty men talking shit to one another.
Ivy takes Billi from me to put her to bed as I watch the boys toss plays and celebrate like they just won the damn Super Bowl whenever one of them gets a touchdown.
It doesn’t take long at all, just like Cassie said, for the Stars to beat the pants off the Stripes, finishing with a pass from Walker to Asher, then to Haden, on a double reverse as we cheer from the sidelines.
After each time Haden scores, Asher and Haden do some sort of bro-code handshake that ends with a fist bump.
Watching Asher approach me at the end of the game has everything hitting me all at once. This man is the father of my child. I’ve got to put my big girl pants on and tell him.
“Good game … looks like your strategy paid off,” I say, glancing once to his glistening chest, dripping with sweat, then forcing myself to move my eyes to his face as he chugs down some water.
“Glad I could keep you entertained, Livi girl.” He wipes his forehead with the back of his forearm as I push his beautiful body from my mind and take a deep breath.
“Um, Asher, I’m pretty tired. Do you think you could walk me home?”
Time to rip off that Band-Aid.