CHAPTER 27
Olivia
“ Y ou’re what ?” Ginger’s slaps both her hands down to the table, her eyes as big as saucers as we sit in the big house backyard the next evening.
It’s an at-home girls’ night because there’s no way we were getting CeCe to the Horse and Barrel when she’s so pregnant.
Plus, after what almost happened in Asher’s woodshop last night, I needed a night in.
The only sounds to be heard under the Ashbys’ big pergola as the sun starts to set are the trees swaying in the breeze at the edge of their manicured property.
It’s the kind of summer night where the temperature’s just right—not too cool, but not too hot either.
There are times this place feels like heaven and, tonight, it’s the perfect escape from the absolute ass I made of myself when I rubbed up against the father of my child, practically begging him to fuck me.
But the way he opened up to me about his past is a staunch reminder that, even though there is an obvious attraction between us, it’s not enough for Asher to change his mind about relationships, but I respect that and that he wants to put our baby first.
“When did this happen, and how did I not know about it?” Ginger continues, sipping on her ice-cold lemonade.
“At your wedding.” I cringe as Ginger lets out a high-pitched squeal. There it is.
“You’ve been together for that long and I didn’t know?”
“Well, no, technically it was only once. Well, and some light groping on his planer table last night in his workshop.”
That gets CeCe’s attention, and Cassie almost spits out her drink all over the table.
She starts choking before it turns to laughter. “Do tell?”
I blush a hot pink and meet the eyes of the women I trust more than anyone in the world.
“It was a little heated moment. Nothing came of it.” Because he stopped it. “He was showing me how to smooth the rough wood for my cabinets.”
“Oooh! Even that sounds hot.” Cassie giggles. Ginger and CeCe follow suit.
“It wasn’t my fault, but I lost control. He had me pressed up against the table and, well, it vibrated right in the … perfect spot.”
“Oh shit!” Ivy starts to howl. This is her first kid-free night in a while as Wade holds down the fort, so she’s already on her second sangria. “You dirty little slut you.”
“Okay, I’m a happily committed woman now.
” Cassie’s blue eyes dance. She’s so relaxed and at home at Silver Pines.
She slotted straight into our friendship group and has really settled into Kentucky life as she focuses on writing music now.
It’s as if she’s a whole new woman since she stopped performing.
“I mean, there’s no man I love more than my own, but we gotta know.
That man just knows what he’s doing, doesn’t he? ”
“I’d put money on it,” Ivy chimes in. “He’s got that same BDE I loved about Wade.”
“Gross.” CeCe covers her ears.
“Sorry.” Ivy winks at her, looking not the least bit sorry with a tipsy glow taking over her pretty face.
“Oh, he knows,” I admit. “Too much. Even when I’m crampy and nauseous and moody, I still want him. And, God, there are moments I think he wants me too. But last night, in the wood-shop, it was like a wall went up when we got too close.”
“He’s definitely a bit of a mystery,” CeCe chimes in. “And it’s not the same thing, but Nash has trauma in his past. It took some time for him to trust that he deserved me.”
I nod, knowing now that these two men don’t share the same kind of trauma, though Asher’s story isn’t mine to tell them.
“Maybe you just need to give him a little more time,” CeCe continues. “Maybe letting someone in isn’t easy for him.”
“Asher is a lone wolf. He’s got his property, his job, his dog, and now here I am, barging in, baby in tow. I can’t ask him for more.” I smile. “Although he seems genuinely excited about the baby.”
“And it’s hard not to want him when he looks like that.” Ginger snorts as she picks up a chip from the bowl in front of her.
“That’s the problem. It’s like I can’t control myself. I almost always want him, physically, ” I tell them. “Is that normal?”
“Oh hell, wait until you hit your second trimester,” CeCe says knowingly. Ivy nods but keeps her mouth shut at the other end of the table.
My eyes grow bigger with a little bit of fear. “I’m gonna want him more ?”
CeCe leans in. “Well, everyone is different, but let’s just say that there were times when I could’ve been with Nash and my vibrator in the same hour and I still wouldn’t have been satisfied.”
Ginger starts to laugh beside me. “Thanks for that picture.”
“My pleasure,” CeCe fires back.
“He’s coming with me to the doctor tomorrow. But we made a pact: We’re just friends and the baby is the priority. Asher and I are gonna keep things as uncomplicated as possible.”
“A pact?” Cassie’s eyes twinkle. “That’s cute.”
I side-eye her. “It’s a big move, him stepping up like this. Especially when he has no desire to be married or even in a serious relationship. I’m not forcing him into any corner. I just want him to be a good dad.”
“He seems like the kind of man who will just take care of business. I think he’ll be a great dad,” Cassie observes.
“He left me pregnancy candies the other day and this tea that stops morning sickness,” I tell them. “It was sweet.”
“Ooooh, we love an acts-of-service man. Hot, ” Ginger says. “That’s maybe his thing. It’s easier to show you how he feels. You know? Take care of you.”
“So he is sweet and protective, but I want to climb him like a tree? Should be the easiest seven months ever,” I joke, throwing my hands up as the girls laugh with me. God, I love them.
“What’s his own dad like? Do you know?” Cassie asks curiously, shoving some popcorn into her mouth as the timed twinkle lights above us kick on, illuminating the darkened sky.
“Apparently his family life was bad,” I give, not willing to offer any more on the subject right now.
CeCe stands up and starts turning on the flameless lanterns around the patio.
“Nash always said that Asher didn’t speak to his family. Something about them being bad news back in New York.”
My stomach drops at her words. An image of him in prison flashes through my head and still freaks me out a little, though mostly I feel empathy that he had to endure that.
“I’m hoping as time passes he’ll open up a little more,” I add, sidestepping her comment as I sip my own lemonade.
“Well, I say focus on the here and now. In the words of Ted Lasso, be a goldfish,” Ginger says, raising her glass to me.
“The man he was doesn’t matter. What counts is the man he is now. For you and your baby. To the new mama,” she adds. “May this pregnancy always make her glow.”
“May her nausea slow as her baby bump grows …” Ivy pipes up with a tipsy rhyme.
“When it comes to food cravings, may she not have to wait,” CeCe adds, holding up her own glass of iced tea.
“And may her baby daddy’s woodshop tables always vibrate!” Cassie snorts.
I can’t help it, I start to laugh. These girls are my rocks in a lake of uncertainty, and I couldn’t survive without them.
My phone buzzes on the table as they continue their chatter.
A
This is the size of our baby?
I pick up my phone and see a link to a pregnancy website telling me the baby is the size of a grape.
ME
Maybe, but with arms and legs.
A
A grape with arms and legs.
He sends me through a photo of himself. He’s at the fire-hall, in his uniform, but he’s making a “What the fuck?” face.
I laugh out loud as all eyes at the table land on me. I’m glad because, even after last night, it seems like things won’t be awkward between Asher and me.
ME
Well I for one think he or she will be a cute little grape baby.
A
Can’t wait to find out tomorrow, mama.
My heart clunks in my chest at the same time I hear Cassie whisper “I don’t smile like that at my friends ” to one of the other girls.
ME
Me neither. The app I have says to eat lots the day before so the baby will be active. I’m definitely doing that.
I send a photo through of myself eating a slice of Jo’s lemon loaf.
A
Good girl.
Praise kink activated. I bite my bottom lip as his next message comes through.
A
Night, you two.
“You know you’re totally screwed here, right?” Cassie asks when I look up. I take a sip of my drink in response. At this point I can’t even argue.