Chapter 45
MONZA, ITALY
R owan had a dream last night. A beautiful dream in which he won the 2023 Italian Grand Prix.
After last week’s disaster at the Dutch Grand Prix where he had a major failure with the gearbox before the race’s start, rendering him unable to drive at all, he was intent on winning today.
Especially since he was starting on the front row, right next to his teammate. Monza’s circuit was one of his favourites because cars would go at full throttle for nearly eighty percent of the lap with a great combination of tight chicanes to warm up the brakes.
He was currently warming up in the paddock, rope-jumping with Tate monitoring his every move.
There was no room for tension and misunderstanding between Rowan and Tate. But ever since Tate’s secret had been revealed, Rowan had been able to sense a slight shift in his mood. He would always be lost in his thoughts, perplexed by whatever tormenting idea would flicker across his mind.
Rowan didn’t know what had happened between his best friend and Riley in Brisbane. Maybe they’d talked, maybe they’d had sex again, maybe they’d simply acted as if the other didn’t exist. Contrary to Tate, Riley hadn’t apologised to Rowan. Hadn’t even tried to explain herself. Rowan didn’t care, though.
Taking a break from warming up, he recuperated his breath slowly, hands planted on his hips as he let his gaze travel towards the busy paddock. Journalists interviewing drivers. Photographers capturing memorable moments. Mechanics running around. Everyone was getting ready for the Grand Prix.
“You okay?” he asked Tate, searching for a dark-haired PR officer with a black uniform and a devastating smile.
It was weird not to work with Avery anymore. She kept him focused. She saw through him. She understood him. But her happiness came above all, and it was evident her new job had a healthier environment than the previous one.
Rowan was now stuck with an intern, Joey. He was nice. Didn’t have any banter, though, which was quite boring.
God, did he miss her fiery comebacks. Her witty responses. Her sense of professionalism, her work ethic, and her vision of things.
“Yeah, fine.” A pause, then, “Do you hate me?”
He looked over at his best friend, knitting his brows together in confusion. “Come on, mate. We’ve already been through this. Why do you ask?”
“Because I had sex with your sister.”
Rowan shuddered dramatically. “Just when I thought I would get rid of this atrocious image inside my head…” Tate glowered. “I don’t care, Ritchie, and you know it. Whatever you do with my sister is your business.”
The physiotherapist rubbed the back of his neck. “So you wouldn’t be opposed to us dating? Because I like her.”
Rowan snickered. “You really think you’re coming in hot with brand new information, don’t you? I know that, bastard. Just ask her out.”
“It’s not that easy, and you know it. It took you three years to ask Ava out.”
A flutter of happiness crashed over him at the mention of his girl. “Trust me, you’ll feel so much better once you tell her how you feel.”
Tate nodded, then let a soft smile spread across his lips. “You’ve changed, you know.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Yep. I’m glad you have Ava. I’m happy you found the love you deserve.”
“Damn it,” Rowan grunted. “Save your speech for my wedding day.”
“Wedding day, huh?” Tate pinched Rowan’s cheek to taunt him before being hit in the stomach. “Look at you being all grown up and smitten.”
“I’m not smitten!”
“A liar, that you are.” Tate pointed behind his shoulder. “Look who’s coming this way.”
At first, he saw Indy hurriedly walk past him, as she kept her gaze ahead of herself, her high heels tapping on the concrete. Then, he saw Miles Huxley chase after her. He stopped in his tracks, fingers flexing by his side, then shook his head before turning on his heel and heading towards the opposite direction.
And finally, Avery appeared.
Looking confused, she tried to catch Miles’ elbow, but the latter only shrugged her off before walking away. She blinked, then found Rowan’s gaze from across the paddock. As if they were always pulled towards the other. As if, even in the most crowded place, they could find their way back home.
She waved excitedly, making his cheeks hurt when he smiled widely.
“Hey, guys!” she greeted as she approached them. Even dressed in his rival team’s attire, she looked stunning. She tucked her phone and recorder into the pocket of her skirt, standing on her tiptoes to peck Rowan’s cheek. “Ready to lose to Huxley?”
Tate snorted somewhere behind Rowan, as the driver feigned shock. “Goddamn brat. You didn’t.”
The tantalising disdain etched upon her features reminded him of the days when they supposedly disliked each other. “We’re rivals now, lover boy. I’ve got to stay true and faithful to who I work for.”
“Traitor,” Tate sing-songed.
Rowan narrowed his gaze, amused. He would just destroy and punish her in the hotel room later. “You’re so insolent.”
She taunted him with an innocent smile. “Thanks.”
“So, gonna tell us what that was with Huxley and Indy?”
“Ah.” Avery peered behind her shoulder to look at Indy now chatting with Kamari in front of Primavera Racing’s motorhome. “Well, they’re head over heels for each other, but don’t know how to tell the other. Their situation is a bit complicated. Huxley has a bit of a darker side and Indy’s complex in her own way, too.”
“They remind me of two people I know,” Tate noted, draping an arm around Rowan’s shoulders.
“Get lost,” Rowan mumbled, pushing his friend away.
“I need to go. I have duties to fulfill.” Avery grabbed Rowan’s face and kissed him softly. So softly that he felt his knees weaken. So softly that he felt his heart batter ferociously in stark contrast to her delicacy. Now that they didn’t have to hide their relationship anymore, he was more than delighted to show the world who he belonged to. And apparently, she liked it as well. “Good luck, lover boy. You’ll do amazing.”
“I knew you were secretly rooting for me,” he said smugly. “I’m going to win for you.”
She chuckled softly. “Yes, please. Love you.”
He kissed her cheek. “I love you.”
“You two are so disgusting,” Tate muttered. “I miss the times you would scream and fight in the rain.”
Avery had already turned around, but she gaped at the physiotherapist from her shoulder. “Love you too, Tate.”
It was on the twenty-first lap that Rowan was announced a yellow flag was brandished in the second sector.
He sighed heavily, pressing on the brake to decelerate and hitting a button on his steering wheel. “Seriously? What happened?”
“Beaumont lost his rear in turn six and went into the barrier. He’s out of the car already.”
Rowan nodded.
“Safety car is arriving,” Jamie announced. “Keep delta positive.”
“Gotcha.” Zig-zagging behind Thiago, Rowan started to hum a melody, maintaining his warm tyres by accelerating and slowing down. Repeating. “Can we talk strategies whilst the safety car is out?”
“Strategies?”
“Do you want to chat about the weather? Sun’s shining, if you’re wondering.”
“Yeah,” Jamie deadpanned. “I see that.”
“Awesome,” Rowan drawled. “So, I think y’all should let me overtake Tito. I’ve got speed. I’m faster.”
There was a long pause before Jamie’s answer came through the radio. “Stay behind.”
Rowan’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel. “Fine.”
“Box now, though. We’re doing a double stack.”
On lap thirty-seven, Rowan found a slipstream, roaring off on the track at top speed. He was back to being P2, chasing after his teammate.
After taking the chicane, smoothly, he pressed on the throttle and flew down the straight line, tired of staying behind Thiago. Though the next turn was a slow one to take, Thiago lost slight control over his car because of its lack of responsiveness, causing it to understeer.
“Come on,” Rowan pleaded. “I’ve got speed. I’ll have DRS soon.”
In fact, he was already less than a second away from Thiago.
Team orders were driving Rowan insane.
Okay, maybe this race and circuit were special and close to Thiago’s heart, but Rowan also deserved to win here.
“Rowan,” Jamie warned.
“Can I fight with Tito? Please? It looks like this race is boring anyway. Let me give the public a bit of action.”
“Can you stop being so cocky?”
“Never,” the driver scoffed.
“Just—Ah, be careful.”
Rowan grinned. “Thank you. You’re the best.”
When Rowan braked late before passing through the corner on its interior, hoping to find a gap and slip in front of Thiago, his teammate drove off, putting some distance again between the two cars.
They fought for several laps. Thiago was an insane defender, in the best way, always ahead of Rowan and anticipating his moves. When Rowan would drive on the inside of a corner, Thiago would slip in front to prevent him from doing so. When he would try to overtake, Thiago always managed to keep his position.
Their wheels nearly came in contact more than once, though, and the thrill of taking those risks was making Rowan’s bloodstream thrum with exhilaration.
Through the chicane they went, and Rowan was finally ahead of Thiago, claiming the lead with a smooth, delicate move.
“Woo!” Jamie cheered. “Come on, baby. Ten laps to go. Get that win.”
Rowan hugged Thiago as tightly as he could, and patted him on the back to congratulate him on the great result.
A 1-2 for Primavera Racing in Monza was an indescribable feeling.One of the greatest achievements they could’ve done as a team.
“Congrats,” Thiago said, smiling broadly. “You deserve today’s win.”
“Thanks, man. I love fighting with you.”
His teammate ruffled his hair, chuckling. “I know that, but next time find someone else to fight with. It’s not like there’s eighteen other drivers on the grid or anything.”
“You’re such a petty bitch,” Rowan mocked, fist-bumping him before walking towards Tate.
He took off his helmet and balaclava, taking a deep breath to take everything in. Accepting the bottle of water his physio handed to him, he felt a pang hit his chest, obliging him to look towards the small crowd that had already formed below the podium.
He found Avery, standing on her own yet smiling at something one of her coworkers had said. Then, chocolate met honey, and the world came to a halt. She waved at Rowan as he lifted his bottle of water.
“Where’s the water I hate?” he mouthed.
She shrugged, trying hard not to smile. “You should be grateful I’m not trying to poison you anymore.”
“I kind of miss those days.”
She smiled, and Rowan wondered how she had the power of rendering his entire entourage into a complete blur. He was supposed to head towards the reporter for the post-race interview, was supposed to go into the cool-down room before the podium, was supposed to stay focused, but he just couldn’t move.
Her lips moved: “I’m proud of you.”
Rowan winked, his heart swelling. Her beautiful smile fed his soul, gave him a purpose. At that moment, he knew everything would be all right.
He couldn’t stop smiling at the crowd chanting his name when he lifted the trophy in the air. He kissed the prize, then pointed at Jamie and Tate.
There was a sea of red flooding the entire circuit; fans of Primavera Racing coming to watch the podium, dressed in vibrant rouge as confetti fell from overhead.
Again, he found Avery, who was supposedly cheering for Miles who had finished third, but he knew that she would always support him no matter where she was.
He winked, tipping the trophy towards her.
He had told Avery that he would win for her. And so he did.
“Stay away from me! I’m not supposed to fraternise with the enemy.”
Rowan wheezed out a laugh, wrapping his arms around Avery, regardless of her remark. “The enemy,” he echoed, still chuckling before bringing his lips to the shell of her ear. “Should the enemy fuck you like he hates you tonight? Would you like that? I expect you to wait for me in the hotel room with your uniform on. I’m going to fuck you all night long until I make you understand who you belong to.”
Her fingers curled around the fabric of his jumpsuit on his back, and he simply knew she was blushing.
“Behave,” she murmured. “Cameras are on us.”
“Let them be.”
The smell of champagne still lingered in the air, the aftermath of the race still electric inside his bones. He kissed Avery’s forehead, uncaring that the entire world was watching him.
“I’m so proud of you,” she told him, cupping his face to bring his gaze towards hers.
He could get lost in those eyes. Dark but beautiful, filled with so much sincerity and persistent, strong love.
“Thank you, sunflower.” Kissing the interior of her wrist, he let his lips tip upwards as a smile grew seamlessly. “I know I don’t say it enough, but you do know I’m endlessly grateful for you, right? All my life, I couldn’t help but feel like I wasn’t good enough for anything. I’ve been wearing that fa?ade of a sunshine boy to hide all my wounds. But you saw all of them, and you never once stepped away. You helped me heal in so many ways, and I really, really don’t know where or who I’d be today without you.”
Like a balm to a wound, she had healed something she hadn’t so much as broken. She had embraced all those scars, all those imperfections, and had helped him turn them into fortitude.
It was true that Rowan still didn’t have a World Championship under his belt. It was true that he wouldn’t be as good as his teammate or the other drivers on the grid. But he didn’t care, because he finally knew that he was enough. Worthy of love. Worthy of respect.
He’d been on a quest for happiness and love for so long, certain he would never find it, until Avery Sharma-Maddox walked into his life and tilted the entire world onto its axis.Until she appeared like a warm ray of sunshine piercing through thick clouds. Until she showed him that every dead flower could come back to life and find its vibrant colours if taken care of with persistence, delicacy, and patience.
He had the bare minimum, but there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that he felt satisfied with everything he had in the palms of his hands.
His passion for racing.
His career as a Formula 1 driver.
And the only love of his life. His sunflower. His whole world. His home.
When Rowan laced their fingers together, he held on tightly to hers, intent on never letting go.
“You coming home with me?”
“Sure thing, lover boy. Lead the way.”
FIN.