Cheater

30. Derek

I follow her as she marches through my apartment, throwing her jacket off as she heads down the hall. It lands on the floor in front of me.

I’m still directly behind her as she gets into my bedroom and kicks off her shoes, throws the covers back, and climbs into the bed. She buries herself under the blanket. Her entire self, head and all.

I watch for a moment and surmising she needs a minute, I set her bags down on the chair in the corner and take the paper bag containing the soup and donuts to the kitchen.

I hunt through the cupboards for the glass platter with the dome lid that I know is here somewhere.

This kitchen is well-equipped; my parents’ designer saw to that to give everyone a fully functional place here in the city, but I know we won’t be staying here long.

I’ve got many surprises in store for her.

I’ve set a bottle of water and a glass of her favorite wine on the table beside her. She’s still under the blankets.

“Chloe?”

She doesn’t answer.

“I’ll run you a bath,” I offer.

She still doesn’t answer.

“Your bath is ready, baby,” I say.

A sniffle is my only reply.

I hear my phone, so I go find it on the console table by the door.

Grace.

I answer with, “What did I say?”

“Who is she? What’s the story? I’m shocked, Derek. Shocked. A girlfriend? That big smile on your face? The frown on hers? What’s all that about? What’s going on? You have to give me something. I saw her the other day and she didn’t look like an escort or a porn star, but girlfriend?”

“Leave it alone, Grace.”

“Not a chance.”

“It’s love,” I say, simply. Because I think that’s what this is. There’s no other apparent explanation.

She laughs.

And now I’m irritated.

“No. For real,” she prompts.

“For real,” I state. “I can’t do this right now. I’m busy.”

“She doesn’t look in love. That’s the second time I’ve seen her and both times she has looked distraught.”

“I can’t talk. I’ll call you later.”

“In a fight? First girlfriend. Second fight?” she pushes.

“Bye Grace.” I end the call, pour myself a bourbon, and wander back to the bedroom.

Chloe is still under the covers.

I figured there’d be a fight. Maybe some yelling. Maybe some threats coming at me. Some slaps or claws. I was looking forward to wrestling her into submission and showing her how good it’s gonna be.

But she’s under the blankets like a lump.

“The bath’s gonna get cold,” I tell her.

I undress and get into bed beside her. I’ve already let the water out of the tub after it sat for over an hour and made some calls to arrange a surprise for her. I prop my cheek on my hand while on my side facing the lump under my covers.

She’s still. Too still. Like she’s holding her body taut while also holding her breath.

I quickly yank the blanket, exposing her.

She looks completely wrecked. Beyond distraught.

And something strange happens. It lands like ice shards sinking into my chest.

I don’t know what to do with it. I’ve finally got her where I want her. And she looks like her world has fallen apart. It has. But it wasn’t the right world for her. She was in a world built on picking the wrong man. She’ll see that.

I push away the urge to turn the lamp off, so I don’t have to see it. Don’t have to see the messy hair, the bloodshot puffy eyes, the downturned pretty mouth.

Instead I roll over and gather her into my arms, tucking her head under my chin so I can comfort her.

She struggles.

“No,” she cries out brokenly.

I hush her, pressing my mouth to her forehead.

“I’m gonna make it all better,” I promise her and stroke her back with both hands.

But I’ve probably set myself back with this change in plans. No point ruminating on it, though. Now I’ve got access to her 24/7 and he doesn’t. He will never have access to her again. I won’t have to watch them in the same bed. I won’t have to see him put his mouth on her either. Nobody gets to hold her like this. Only me. And that settles something in me.

She makes a horrible choking sound and starts to wail in my arms.

I hold her tighter, pressing kisses to her forehead, her soaking wet cheeks, her nose, her beautifully soft lips.

She sobs with terrible, wet choking sounds. And I keep kissing her.

I want them to stop, but I don’t want that ugliness inside her, making her feel like this. So, I’ll absorb it and work on making things better.

“Chloe?” I whisper.

She doesn’t answer.

“I’m gonna show you why this was the best thing in the world for you,” I vow. “I know you’re mad at me. I know you’re sad. I have to tell you something. I’ve never given a shit how anybody feels about anything. Not for as long as I let myself remember. Until you. I give a shit. I care. I’ve always gotten fixated on goals but never something like this. Never a woman. I’m gonna make it better. Gonna make you so deliriously happy, you’ll realize this is right. I promise.” I kiss her again on the mouth.

She’s not pulling away. She’s not snuggling in. She’s just crying in my arms.

She feels so fucking right, though.

I’m lost in thought a few minutes later, still holding her, when she shudders hard.

“H-he…” she stops and sniffles. “H-he…” She stops again. I caress her hair and wait.

She sniffles again and looks into my eyes. The pain in hers… it’s doing something to me.

“He didn’t even think about fighting for me. I know he can’t. His legs… he… he’s afraid of you. But… he didn’t even think about trying. And I don’t think he would have even if this were eight months ago.”

She’s getting it.

And damn. I’m more fascinated by her than ever. I’m a lucky man to have found her. But things are twisting in me, peeling away, sensations rising. I can’t take time to decode them, though. I need her to know she has me.

“I know, Chloe,” I say, dashing tears away with my thumbs on her cheeks. “I promise you, baby, I’m gonna bust my ass to make you realize that me doing this is right. You now belong to a man who is afraid of nothing and no one. You’re mine now. I might have fought dirty to get you where you are right now, but that should give you a clue about who I am. I’m a man who will fight through smoke, gunfire, even hellfire for you. I’ll fight for you even if it’s you I have to fight against.”

“Why?” she asks in a small, broken voice. “I don’t understand why.”

“I don’t know how to answer that. Because I don’t understand it, either. You’re the goal. Making all your dreams come true. Giving you everything I felt you yearned for that night when I first overheard you and Alannah. It woke something up in me. You’re what I want.”

She says nothing.

After a few minutes of holding her, stroking her hair, I say, “Have you ever been so thirsty when you get a drink to your lips that you can’t seem to swallow it down fast enough to quench your thirst?”

She doesn’t respond so I keep going.

“You have to muster control, so you don't drink so fast you choke on it. That's me with you. And I'm not sure how much control I have left when it comes to you. Lost control a little tonight when he wanted you to fuck him.”

“A little bit?” she queries sarcastically.

I smirk and shrug. “I’m beyond parched for you, Chloe. So fucking tempted to give in to the urge, to choke to death if I need to because it means I get to take my fill. Consume you.”

She looks up at me, fear in her eyes.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” I tell her.

She stays where she is, but her body is tense. I’m frightening her. I get it. In one sentence promising happiness and the next saying I want to consume her.

“I had to stop him tonight. I couldn’t let him have you. Couldn’t let you fuck him tonight. I can’t let anyone put their hands on you that way again. You’re mine, Chloe. The notion of anyone else touching you the way I wanna touch you… no.”

She buries her face under my chin. It feels like she’s snuggling in, but I know she’s actually hiding.

After a few minutes, she pulls away from me and I know she’s been wanting to do it for a while but is worried about how I’ll react. I let go of her.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” I tell her.

“But you’re doing that.”

“No, I’m not. He’s the one that hurt you. I’m gonna fix it. I won’t ever hurt you.”

“Are you sure about that?” she asks.

Good question.

I answer honestly. “Maybe not a hundred per cent sure. I’m not feeling exactly stable where you’re concerned. Do us both a favor and let me make you happy.”

She gets out of bed. I watch her drag the big bag to the bathroom and I hear the door lock.

I listen and hear the water running. The sound of her brushing her teeth.

She surfaces a few minutes later dressed in pajama shorts and an oversized T-shirt, so I turn my lamp off. When she climbs into the bed I smell a clean scent. Face wash. And toothpaste. She turns the lamp on the other side of the bed on and I watch her uncap the water I put down for her. She drinks some, then changes her mind, lifts the wine glass and guzzles the whole thing before she sets that glass down.

“I don’t want to sleep beside you.”

“Why?” I ask.

“I don’t trust you. I can either sleep here and you can go somewhere else. Or I can go to your guest room, the couch, or even better would be me leaving and going to stay with a friend.”

“I’ve waited a long time for this night.” And then I amend, “Okay, well, not a long time but it feels like it. But no. You’re staying here. With me.”

I’m ready for an argument, for a struggle hopefully, but she lays down and turns her back to me.

I turn over and fit myself to her back, my hand gliding across her stomach and resting there. She’s rigid, but doesn’t struggle or move as I kiss her neck and hold her tight.

Goosebumps erupt on her skin.

“You want me?” I ask, running my nose down her neck.

Does she want me to fuck her? Is that what she’s hoping for?

“No. I’m cold.”

I snuggle in closer. She’s rigid still.

I’d like to fuck her. I’d like to fuck her and plant a baby in her stomach. Bring to fruition the visions from my mind tonight of her carrying my baby, holding it close and protectively. My hand skates across her stomach and I crave feeling it swelled. Because of me. My fingers slide under her waistband.

“Derek, no. Please, no,” she says and sniffles.

Maybe she needs no pressure tonight. Just the knowledge that I’m here. Holding her. Ready to give her the world.

“Okay. Go to sleep. I’ll just hold you tonight. You’re safe, Chloe. I promise.” I lean over and press a soft kiss to her cheekbone, then settle in behind her and close my eyes, my lungs filled with her scent.

Two hours later, I wake abruptly, taking a minute to absorb the feeling of Chloe sleeping against me. She’s now turned into me instead of being spooned by me. Her head is on my chest, her arm across my stomach, her fragrant, soft hair spread out over my shoulder.

And I feel that sensation again – that peace that’s foreign to me.

I hate to leave the warmth and comfort of having this woman in my bed, but I need to see what Hallman is up to. I watched him for a bit after running the bath, but I want to catch up and see if I missed anything important, so I carefully move her without waking her, press a kiss to her mouth, and go out to the dining table where my laptop sits.

After we left, Hallman had a bottle of booze delivered. He sat and drank a few shots while staring into space, looking miserable. And then he was in the bathroom a long time before he emerged, showered, the lower half of his body wrapped in a towel. He got shorts from the closet, got them to his thighs, pulled himself into the bed and got them the rest of the way on before he shut the lamp off. My camera auto-adjusted to night vision and I saw him pull one of the pillows on the other side of the bed over. He put it to his nose. Smelling all that was left of Chloe. He stared into the darkness for an hour before his eyes closed.

I feel satisfied, too, at the fact that he’s sleeping on the sheets I fucked her in last night.

No phone calls. No rules broken. That doesn’t mean he won’t pull anything tomorrow.

That scent on her pillow is all he has left. Now maybe I’m not so satisfied that I didn’t allow her to change the sheets. Then he’d have no trace of her in his nostrils right now.

Those cameras will stay put for now. But after tonight, I’m having Kenny assign someone to watch him. I’ve got other things to focus on. I climb back into bed with Chloe and pull her close. She melts into me.

I wake up early, feeling well-rested and very conscious of that peace I’ve never experienced until last night. And I know it’s because she’s here. It’s because she’s now mine. And she’s going to stay that way.

She’s not snuggled with me; she’s on the far end of the bed, sleeping in a ball near the edge.

I lean up on my elbow and look over to her face. She’s not asleep. She’s awake, staring into space.

“Good morning,” I greet and press my mouth to her shoulder.