Chapter 14
Daniel chewed on his bottom lip as he searched Jensen’s eyes.
This wasn’t something he wanted to talk about.
It wasn’t something he talked about at all.
With anyone. But Jensen had flown his ass all the way here, and he deserved to know what he was getting himself into.
Even if it meant Daniel might be on the first flight back.
That didn’t mean he was ready to start confessing like a sinner on his deathbed though. Instead of opening his mouth to talk, he lunged for his glass of wine, swiped it off the coffee table, and downed it in two large gulps.
Not looking at Jensen, he also took his glass—which was mostly full—and threw that down the hatch as well. The sweetness of the pear- and floral-smelling wine coated the back of his throat and, coupled with the thickness already building, left a sickly feeling traveling down into his stomach.
Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to throw back two glasses of wine like they were shooters taken in the parking lot of an expensive club. But, like all the other horrific decisions he’d made in his life, it was already done and he had to suffer the consequences.
Jensen’s eyebrows were high on his forehead when Daniel sat back on the couch and wiped his mouth along his forearm. Luckily, he didn’t comment on the outburst and allowed Daniel a moment to collect his thoughts.
“I …” He trailed off. He couldn’t just start with the worst of it.
No, it was better if he gently walked Jensen into the ocean he was drowning in.
Perhaps with context, it wouldn’t seem so suffocating.
“I got good grades in high school. Really good grades, and I was on the committees of three different clubs. With that, paired with miraculously decent test scores, I got into a college in DC. Even with a couple of scholarships I was able to scrounge up, tuition was expensive. I had to take out loans to cover the cost.”
“Didn’t your parents help?”
Daniel gave the sweet, naive man in front of him a small smile.
“No. They felt their duties as parents ended the moment I turned eighteen. Not that they did much parenting before then. So I took out student loans to cover everything. But all the friends I made there came from money. Like nannies and summer homes in the French Riviera money. They were always going to nice dinners and getting expensive drinks, and the vacations …”
God, the vacations. Even now, knowing the consequences and right off a fantastic orgasm, Daniel was getting horny at the memories of the trips he’d taken with his group of so-called friends.
He’d spent a spring break in Ibiza, a whole week one summer in Germany, and one Christmas in the Alps where he learned how to ski from the same instructor that taught celebrities’ kids.
Not to mention all the weekend trips up to Canada and down to Mexico.
The entire experience had been a whirlwind of high times, insane adventures, and …
“Credit card debt. I paid for the lifestyle with a credit card.” Daniel let out a self-deprecating laugh and wished the wine would hit his brain harder.
“I didn’t even have one of those good ones that offer cash back or rewards.
I covered the minimums with my loan payouts.
That stopped working when I switched my major for the third time and the university told me I had to graduate or get out. ”
For his part, Jensen took everything in silently, not interrupting. Daniel couldn’t look at him anymore, though, and stared down at his fingers like they held the secret to getting through the rest of his confession. Jensen took his hand, warming the cold skin, giving him the strength the carry on.
“I had no direction, no idea what I wanted to do for a career, and not enough credits for any degree.” None of the courses he took sparked any amount of interest in him.
Corporate jobs sounded soul sucking, and he wasn’t talented enough for anything artistic.
He wanted to enjoy his job. More than that, he wanted a job where he could make other people happy or at least provide them with a good time. But maybe that was a juvenile desire.
“What did you do?” Jensen asked, squeezing Daniel’s hand.
Shrugging one shoulder, he let out a loud breath.
“I transferred to Sevier University. One of the people I hung around got a job in the city. I followed him, thinking he could help me out. That ended faster than a priest’s cum shot when he realized I could no longer afford to keep up with his lifestyle. ”
“He stopped talking to you because you couldn’t afford fancy dinners?” Jensen asked, appalled.
“Basically. I can’t blame him though. He was hired at his father’s company, making two-fifty a year plus bonuses.
I was maxed out on three credit cards and going to a low-tier college working on yet another major I didn’t give a shit about.
He wanted to live it up, and I could hardly afford to live. ”
“He could have gotten you a job at his father’s company.”
“Maybe he could have. But I wasn’t qualified and had no interest in sales or finance.
And we weren’t really friends. That’s something I learned once it all came crashing down.
I dropped out halfway into the first semester, used the last of my cash to pay two months of rent for the shitty apartment I had with other college students, and everyone I met in DC stopped talking to me. ”
“They should have helped you.”
“That’s a nice thought, sweetheart, but in my experience, you can’t rely on anyone to save or help you.
But anyways,” he powered on, ignoring Jensen’s sound of protest, “I had no work history, and my only options were minimum-wage positions that offered no more than fifteen hours a week. I could have gotten three jobs, and it wouldn’t have covered the monthly fees for my loans and all my credit cards.
I was pretty fucking hopeless until I met Richie. ”
“Is Richie your pimp?”
“Oh God, no,” Daniel said with a laugh that broke up the heaviness in the air around them.
“Richie is a pretty boy that works in a members-only club for the rich and influential in Sevier. It’s somehow shadier than the Lillian.
At the time, I was going into every bar and basically begging for a job.
I tried walking in but was thrown out before I could set a foot down.
Richie was smoking in the alley outside and told me I should try the hotel.
The lady at the front desk took one look at me, asked if I could suck dick, then told me to come back the next night. ”
They fell into silence, a clock ticking somewhere on one of the shelves and the soft smell of Jensen’s cologne swirling through the room.
“I don’t want to do it anymore,” Daniel whispered.
The confession was a huge understatement.
The idea of going back to the hotel made his stomach hurt and pressure build behind his eyes.
This sudden shift pissed him off still; he wished he could go back to enjoying the job or at very least being neutral about it.
It would make everything so much easier on him. “I don’t have a choice though.”
“Why don’t you have a choice?”
He gulped and rubbed the back of his neck, the sweetness on his tongue turning sour. “I’m one hundred and sixty-three thousand dollars in debt, Jensen. I still have no work history I can put on an application, no degree, and no marketable skills unless sucking dick counts.”
“I actually find that most of corporate work is just sucking someone’s dick.”
Daniel whipped his head toward him. “Did you just tell a joke?”
“I wish it were,” Jensen said, the corner of his lips turned up. “Most of life comes down to sucking the right dicks good enough.”
A laugh almost made its way past Daniel’s tight chest. It wasn’t often that Jensen tried to be funny, and Daniel fucking ate it up every time he did.
But he couldn’t allow his unforgivable mistakes to be brushed under the rug.
Jensen deserved better than a flippant conversation about the very real mess Daniel had made of his life.
The smile on his face slid off, his mood turning serious again.
“I just told you I’m taint deep in debt I’ll probably never pay off and have no long-term plans.
Doesn’t that worry you at all? Doesn’t that make you want to run for the hills? ”
Jensen scratched at his jaw, thinking it over for a moment.
“My mom’s nephew racked up a substantial debt through a failed Ponzi scheme.
His wife had to find a way to pay all the court fees and fines while keeping a roof over her kids’ heads.
She had three people to support and still found a way to do it.
So I guess I’m not worried about it, and very few situations would ever lead me to embark on an uphill run. ”
“How did she do it?”
“She stole cars for a chop shop until she married a wealthy old man.”
Any hope that was building in Daniel from the inspiring tale flatlined. “Prostitution is already a hefty charge; I’m not looking to add grand theft auto to the list as well.”
He shook his head. “I’m not suggesting you do. I’m saying there’s always a way to get what you want. We just need to figure it out. And in the meantime, you have me to help you.”
A weak smile tried its best to lift Daniel’s lips, but he didn’t have the hope Jensen had.
No one had ever been there for him, not really.
His parents had only cared enough to keep food in the house and clothes in his closet.
It was more than some people had, and Daniel should be grateful for that.
He was grateful, dammit. He didn’t need handouts or charity.
Worse, he didn’t fucking need anyone’s pity.
The little home he’d grown up alone in was safe and had heating in the winter, and that was all he required. His test scores had exceeded those of his classmates with parents that coddled them by going to their games or helping them with homework or college applications.
Without all that unnecessary shit, he’d gotten into a damn good college.
Daniel, all on his own, had moved across the country and rubbed elbows with people that were already on their way to becoming influential people.
Hell, according to social media, a guy that he partied with on a private yacht was on some state’s ballot this election cycle.
Sure, all those achievements had sunk faster than the Titanic, but he still pulled himself up.
All by himself, he’d moved to another new city and started at a different college.
And when his debt had caught up to him, no one was there to save him.
Daniel took care of himself. He kept himself fed with a roof over his head.
Even though Richie had turned him on to the job, it was Daniel that showed up every shift to do whatever he needed to. He had lasted longer than any of the other employees there and raked in enough blow jobs and handies and hours on his back to keep his bills current and his stomach full.
Just like all the other times in his life, Daniel would figure a way out of the mess he’d created.
And he would do it by relying on only himself.
He simply couldn’t trust that anyone else would swoop in and erase his slate.
The best he had were roommates that helped him pick out what to pack and a man who had put up with him for a month.
Past experiences had taught him all this would end soon enough and he would be forgotten and discarded.
But just like during his college years, he knew he needed to take advantage of the good while it was still there.
It was pointless to spend the trip moping about his mistakes when he could do that by himself once he got home.
Daniel was going to appreciate every moment he had with Jensen and his friends while he still had them.
He took a deep breath and straightened up. “Well, now that I’ve spilled my cum and secrets all over your living room, I think it’s time for you to feed me.”