Chapter 8
“Hey.” Macy greeted me as her arms encased my body.
Peeved by her closeness, I warned her it was too much at once. “Please, let go of me.”
Macy had joined us five years ago. Since she had been trying to prove a point that didn’t need to be proved. She wanted priority on our caseload and to be put into the field. Although she was ready because Jack knew this and kept her behind the desk, her jealous streak began. It hadn’t ended yet.
“You’re not alone, Johanson. Play the part. We’re sitting ducks until this meeting is over.”
Deciding the team’s safety was more important than my disdain, I curled my lips and accepted Macy’s embrace. We couldn’t confirm I was being tailed but we weren’t going to deny it, either.
We all knew who we were working with and their surveillance was heavy. Chem’s especially. If it wasn’t his eyes that were on me, there were eyes on me, nonetheless.
One after the other, we entered the unfamiliar home, still moving our mouths and smiling as if we were catching up. I tossed my head back in laughter just as I stepped inside. Macy closed and locked the door behind us.
She led me through the home, into the basement, and through a set of doors that opened in a long hallway. After a lengthy walk, we climbed stairs and ended up in a completely different basement of a completely different home. One that was two homes away from the one I’d entered.
“Seriously?” I sniggered, finding Jack and Bradford waiting.
My partner handed me a fresh cup of coffee and began. “Welcome to the makeshift bunker, Johanson. We have about fifteen minutes before our subject realizes no one is in the home you entered and gets suspicious due to the lack of movement inside.”
“Then, let’s get started,” I responded, sipping from the cup.
Mmm. It felt so good to have a thick, ceramic mug in my hand with freshly brewed coffee inside while chatting with the team.
“Johanson.”
“Jack,” I greeted the man who’d started it all, put together the team to close a case that would’ve forced anyone else at the firm to give up due to lack of evidence, leads, and breaks. But, patience had gotten us here, to a place I was both proud and apprehensive about.
“Alright. Here’s what we have,” Bradford began, swirling my sanity like a sandstorm in the desert.
The amount of red marks, clippings, strings connecting dots, images, names, occupations, and other information that filled the corkboard made me nauseous. My stomach turned with each sentence that left his mouth.
“Roulette – the madam. Not sure how we missed that one. It was right there, in our face. Rather, licensed therapists with a thriving practice. Roaman, we don’t have much on this one, but we pulled her records. Clean. Board-certified surgeon. We’re not sure how she is connected, but we’re sure she’s connected.”
I massaged my temple as thoughts collided with my feelings. I wanted to, but I couldn’t keep silent. I was battling myself as the words began to spill.
“She isn’t a factor in the operation. I can bet my money on it. She’s simply a helping hand when someone is injured and they don’t want anyone at the hospitals asking questions.”
“Bingo!” Jack yelled.
“See, four heads are better than three,” Bradford added, writing beside Roaman’s picture.
She was stunning. Every woman on the board was stunning.
“Any input on this one?”
Images of the sweetest girl, dressed in footless ballet tights, a leotard, and ballet flats captivated me. The innocence in her eyes told a story the wisdom in them wasn’t willing to.
Without a doubt, I knew she was something special, someone special to Chem. Though the others were as well, this one was different. She had his heart. A big chunk of it.
“She’s the youngest of the eight.”
That explained a lot. And because I knew her brother’s protection was something she could depend on, the job was easily delegated. I, too, found the need to protect her and the innocence I once prayed for. But, life had different plans for me.
“She isn’t involved. She’s useless,” I lied, feeling as though it was the furthest from the truth.
Some way, somehow, she was connected, but instead of trying to determine her role, I wanted her to disappear. She didn’t belong beside the others who had very clear, very crucial positions in the criminal empire they’d created.
“Jack and I thought the same thing. She’s nineteen. I doubt she’s gotten her feet wet,” Macy explained.
“They could also be sheltering her, keeping her away from the life they’ve created outside o–”
“Right. She probably has no idea what they do outside of their day jobs. Let’s not disregard the fact they all have incredibly impressive schooling. Top of their class.
“Each one of them. And we’re talking college. A doctorate in five to seven years, it’s unheard of! They’re doubling up on college credits, taking on twice the load of a normal student.
“That’s not easy, no matter how you try to spin it. But her, top of her high school class, and then goes on to Hillard? To twirl in circles?” Macy made points that we all took into consideration.
“Their dance program is the best around. Education is a factor.”
“But, these people have real—well, very complex majors that Hillard’s education just doesn’t compare to. Doctor Chemistry Childers. Doctor Roaman Childers. Doctor Rather Childers. Range Chi—” Macy explained.
“You’re right,” Jack admitted. “You’re right. They’re pacifying her. Probably don’t even want her in college, majoring in anything useless because they’ll surely use it if they can.”
“Agreed,” I replied, sipping from my cup.
“I can see that. So, no ballerina?” Bradford asked, removing her image and tossing it in the bin where I assumed they’d removed everything on the board.
“No ballerina,” we all said in unison.
I breathed a sigh of relief, pacing the floor while keeping an eye on the board and the man presenting to us all.
“Range Childers is the lawyer, who happens to be on some pretty high-profile cases. She hides behind the firm’s name, but she’s all over the cases of some of Clarke’s most notorious criminals. I can’t help but wonder if the entire firm works for them.”
“They own it,” I concluded.
“Hm?” Bradford and everyone else in the room was baffled.
I was repulsed by my knowledge and the ability to share it. I craved silence. I preferred silence. But, this had been our case for years and this had been my career even longer. I couldn’t help myself, although I felt the need to help Chem.
Caught between a rock and a hard place, I resorted to what I knew best. Who I knew best. Egypt Johanson, the agent. I’d just met Eden. She had little influence at the moment.
“Open your eyes, people. They own the firm. Check the tax documents. Investors. Client list. Compare it all and I can guarantee you’ll find them at the end of the rainbow somehow, some way,” I gritted, disgusted with myself.
Fuck. Just listen. Don’t say anything else. Just listen.
“Rugger Childers. Has to be my favorite. A ghost she is, indeed. She has a degree in forensics. She mastered it as well. Double, actually. Science and psychology. She’s a fucking weapon,” Bradford whispered, looking over the files in his hand.
She was as fierce as she’d been described.
“She’s a total fucking nerd. So is The Chemist. These two are very similar. Given her occupation, her studies have aided in her ability to remain unseen, and unscathed.
“Untouched. She knows how to manipulate a crime scene or leave one without even a trace of evidence. We know she’s The Huntress.
“Who or what she’s been hunting, we don’t know. We haven’t linked her to anything or anyone. The case we thought she was involved in, they picked up a guy for last week.
“We thought he was our guy, The Hunter, but that couldn’t have been furthest from the truth. We’re back at square one with her. She’ll be the toughest to nail. The girl practically doesn’t exist.”
“We’ll get her, just like we’ll get the others,” Jack assured him.
“What is the plan?”
“You start digging. Now that we know we’re in the right place, start digging.”
“It won’t be easy.”
“We’re aware,” Jack confirmed. “But we believe in you. Whatever you have to do, Johanson. It’s time we nailed these fuckers. Been a pain in my ass for way too long.”
“Check-ins won’t be as easy, Jack. This is personal for him. I’m not business and up until now, neither was he.”
It would be best if you took me off the case, completely. He doesn’t deserve what I will bring to his door. No matter how much havoc he’s caused Clarke, he has only brought me joy. Elation. Peace. And so many orgasms I lost count.
The thought never pressed through. It remained just that–a thought.
“Whatever it takes, Johanson. It’s gotten personal for him, which is exactly what we want. He needs to trust you. The minute he lets his guard down, then you start digging. In the meantime, is there anything you can tell us about his residence? His lifestyle? Any habits? Anything that will stick?”
He ended a man’s life because his dirty nails grazed my skin. My neighbor has irreparable damage to his male parts because he asked me on a date. Bradford is on thin ice. The call I had with him put Chem in his feelings. If we’re not careful, he’ll find each and every one of you and end your lives.
“No.” I shook my head. “Just like we thought, he’s a criminal of another caliber. He’s smart. Calculated. Very careful. We’ve only had dinner here and there.”
“His home?” Macy asked.
“I have nothing,” I lied with a shrug.
I don’t have much, at least. I’m always blindfolded.
“You think we could get a tracke–”
“I’m not risking my life, Jack.” From side to side, I shook my head. “No wires. No trackers. No phones. Nothing that will alarm him. He is unlike anything I’ve ever encountered.
“There is hardly anything that’ll get past him. He’s always watching. Seemingly waiting. Paranoid in a sense. Like he feels something on the horizon. I can’t explain it.
“But, it feels like he’s always preparing for something. He’s restless for the most part. Always thinking. Planning. Working. Even when he says he isn’t, I can tell by the way he completely zones out.
“Sometimes it feels like he isn’t even in the room. But, his presence is so magnifying I can’t help but acknowledge it.” Not until I’d finished did I realize I’d trailed off.
The smile on Bradford”s face was as wide as his head. He nodded. “That’s definitely our guy. You are on the money describing him, his demeanor… his profile. Fuck, you’re a Godsend, Johanson.”
“I need to get going,” I reminded them, taking a peek at the time.
I’d been over for twenty-three minutes. That was far too long.
“Yeah. Yeah. You’re right,” Jack stuttered. “You should get going. Hang out with Macy for about another hour and then head home. Make it believable and not like you actually hate each other.”
“Hate is such a strong word.” I headed for the door, ready to split in thirty minutes. I wouldn’t give Macy more than that.
“It’s almost accurate, though,” Bradford added.
“Whatever. Nice seeing both of you. I look forward to putting this behind us so I can get back in the office.”
“Same, same.” Jack nodded.
“Later, Bradford.”
“Later, Johanson.”
This time I led the way. We re-entered the modest home, heading straight for the kitchen where I found the liquor cabinet. I needed a drink, possibly three. With everything unfolding the way it was, I was struggling to keep my head and heart out of the dumps.
The nagging pang in my stomach made it clear I was going against everything I’d sworn when I took that oath, but I hardly had a choice.
I’m on no one’s side, I reasoned. I want everyone to win in the end. That was impossible, so I knew I had decisions to make. Decisions that could cost lives. Decisions that could cost my career.
I wasn’t dating a low-life criminal. Chem was cold-fucking-blooded. He’d proved it on the very first date and continued thereafter.
I tossed back the first shot and immediately followed with a second one. Macy joined, having a shot of her own. When my glass smacked the counter for the second time, I breathed out the warm air and laid my palm against my chest as the stinging subsided.
“Argggh.”
“I don’t know how you do it,” she snickered.
“Do what?”
“This. For once, I’m happy I’m not in your position. I would fold.”
I have, about twenty times. In every position. He’s that fucking good.
“Well, good thing you’re not in my position.”
“That man is fine.”
My nostrils widened with disgust. Hearing a woman refer to Chem as anything other than a decent human had me in my feelings. Suddenly, Macy’s life didn’t matter as much as it had before those words left her mouth.
Definitely rubbing off on me,I cringed.
“He is.”
And he’s mine.
“Have you two– you know?”
“I don’t. Have we what?”
“Sex.”
She smiled, waiting for a response. I contemplated leaving her in the dark, but, realistically, she was the only one I could openly discuss the case with.
She didn’t want to know if I was fucking Chem. She wanted to know if he was fucking me well. Her eyes widened as she waited in anticipation.
“Yes, his dick is as good as you imagined it must be. It’s even better.”
“Dammit. I knew it,” she gasped. “I can tell by the way he stands. The pictures do him little justice.”
I won’t do you any either if you don’t find something else, someone else to swoon over.
“Not even a little.”
His possessiveness was growing on me. I, too, wanted to be the only person who admired him the way only lovers and friends with benefits should.
“To the couch?” Macy asked, finally changing the subject.
“I imagine so. You have about twenty minutes before I’m out of here.”
“Jack said an hour.”
“Unless you want The Chemist at your doorstep, taking note of every feature on your face and sketching it in his memory bank, then I suggest you listen to me. Jack doesn’t know him, Macy. I do.”
Nodding, she headed toward the couch. I followed her, but not before fixing a drink. Vodka and pink lemonade from the fridge was the perfect match. They were not preferences but would suffice. The timer began ticking the second I touched the plush sofa.
Within thirty minutes, I was nearing my complex with a heartbeat between my legs and ovulation on my brain. It was a crucial time of the month for me. And before Chem, I didn’t have anyone to caress my aches.
Now that he was a factor, I knew there wouldn’t be another cycle I spent massaging my clit or watching others indulge in sexual acts I dreamt of in my sleep and while wide awake.
The valet slid into my driver”s seat as I slid out. Dressed in black from head to toe, I strolled into the lobby and then into the elevator. Seconds later, I was headed down the hall, ready to crawl into bed with another glass of tea.
The rainfall was set for seven and I could hardly wait to watch it from my bedroom window. Because it was floor-to-ceiling, the effects were dramatic, just as the beating of my heart when a familiar face stilled in my sight.
“Chemi–” I halted, stopping myself from saying his full first name.
With his chin angled, he stared at me. Silently, he studied me. I wasn’t sure if I should run in the opposite direction or shove him into my apartment, against my door, and strip him of his clothing.
“Come inside,” he suggested, holding on to the handle of my door.
He turned the knob along with my stomach. The fact he’d been inside of my temporary home without me there to monitor him made me weary.
“A burglar as well? My, my… so many hats.”
“I haven’t stolen anything in my life, Eden. Don’t insult me.”
He held up the key I hadn’t given him. I shook my head, following him inside.
“So, you saw the mess I left, huh?”
“I haven’t been inside. I was waiting on you.”
“Because you knew I was on my way home?”
“I did.”
“Of course, you did.”
“It’s better if I know where you are at all times, Eden. Things aren’t black and white with me.”
“Why not?”
“Another subject for another day. Right now, I just want to rest.”
There it was. The answer to the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. Chem’s presence had never felt so bleak and mild. It was bold and obnoxious. It was quiet but loud. It was consuming. But, now, it felt meek. Mellow. Mild.
Without allowing him to take another step, I whipped his body in my direction, forcing him to stop in front of me. His resolve was baffling.
“Chem,” I started, looking into those dark, wondrous eyes.
“What’s up, Choc?”
Anxious limbs wouldn’t keep still. Chem was hardly in a rush to do anything, to go anywhere. But, for once, he was in a hurry.
“What’s the matter?”
“No–”
“Chem.”
“Feels like I’m coming down with something,” he admitted finally, clearing his throat in the process.
It was then that his warmth resonated with me. He was feverish.
“Why aren’t you home? Getting rest. You need it. Your body i–”
“Home is wherever the fuck you are, Choc. Not a place. Not a location. Not a structure. I’m right where I need to be. Just show me to the bed and let a nigga get some sleep.”
“I find it hard to believe you don’t know where my bed is.”
Or the entire layout of my loft. I’m sure you’ve studied the blueprint.
“Smart woman.” He chuckled softly.
The diminishing of his personality scared me. I hated to see him feel anything but joy, happiness, and contentment. Neither of those felt obtainable for him at the moment.
I watched as he shed his clothes, making it into my bedroom in only his briefs. His hands held his head once he landed on the comforter.
Poor baby.
I depleted the distance between us, kneeling in front of him to lift his head. It didn’t belong there. It wasn’t meant to hang.
“Baby, have you eaten?”
A shake of the head was all he could muster.
“Anything in particular you’re in the mood for?”
Another shake of the head followed a deep, throated sigh. His long frame scooted up on the bed. He laid his head on the pillows of doom. He wouldn’t stand a chance on those.
Sleep would lure him quickly and pleasantly. That’s exactly what he needed. I stood, preparing to leave him alone to get some rest. I didn’t make it out of the room before he called out to me.
“Choc,” he said just above a whisper.
“Yes.”
“Come lay with me.”
His vulnerability unearthed me. It was quiet. It was calm. It was gentle. It was generous. It was confirmation I wasn’t the only one feeling all these things.
Chem had come to my home instead of facing the music alone. That meant something to me. To us. For us.
There is no us. I tried reminding myself, but quickly cast those thoughts aside. There was. And in some other lifetime, there would be, again.
I peeled off my clothes, laid them on the chair of my desk, and then climbed into bed. His open arms accepted me, flaws and all.
Against his chest, I laid my head, making it up in my mind that as soon as he was asleep, I’d start to make him a healthy broth to kick-start his healing process.
Whatever was happening with his body, I despised. The quicker it subsided, the quicker I could have him back. The overwhelming, inconsiderate, and incredibly charming Chem. It had only been a few minutes, but he was deeply missed.
Our breathing was in sync. So was the beat of our hearts. They drummed, slowly, completely at ease in each other’s presence.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“A penny for your thoughts,” I replied, scooting so close the contours of our body began to mesh.
“Where have you been?”
“At a friend’s.”
“Not today, Choc. I know where you’ve been.”
“Then when?”
“This whole time. If I knew you’d feel like this, I would’ve found you a long fucking time ago.”
“How do I feel?” I probed, taking advantage of his willingness to divulge.
“Like nothing I’ve ever felt before.” He shook his head from side to side.
“And how does that feel?”
“Like love,” he released with a sigh, pulling me into him.
Slowly, he kissed my forehead. Chills ran the lining of my spine. Words faded in the back of my head. And soundlessly, I digested the new information I’d been given. It changed everything.
I feared for our future. Mainly because it didn’t exist. To even consider one with Chem was pure delusion.
I was on the other side of the law. My kind and his didn’t mix. The day he discovered my truth would likely be the day it all ended—the relationship, the comfort, the care, and possibly my life.
I wasn’t ready. I wouldn’t ever be ready, either. While I had the chance, I’d enjoy what we were building and mourn what we’d lose at a much later date.
His breathing altered a little more with each passing second. Eventually, I realized I was the only one still awake. After his confession, Chem was able to rest. A hasty departure wasn’t my intention, so I stayed a little while longer, listening to his heartbeat and embracing the connection.
Time stood still in his arms. Gravity pulled me deeper into his embrace. If I could, I’d lay right here forever. But, life wasn’t so simple and neither were we. I gathered my bearings and ripped the Band-Aid he’d placed over my heart just minutes ago. It was difficult but I managed to tear away from him.
A few feet away, light snores erupted. A smile made my cheeks rise and my eyes tighten. Chem wasn’t a dream. He was the dream.
From head to toe, he’d been carved so perfectly. His heart was gold. His money was never-ending. His dick was long and he knew how to use it. There wasn’t much more a woman could ask for. There wasn’t much more I could ask for.
“I feel you staring.” He grunted, rolling over as a cough shook him to the core.
“I am waiting for you to make your point.”
He didn’t respond. He kept his eyes closed and his head planted on the pillow beneath him. “What is it?”
His annoyance wasn’t authentic. Not even a little. Had it been, I couldn’t say I cared much. Back on my knees, crouched on the side of the bed, I pulled his hand into mine and laid my cheek against it. My eyes never left the sleeping giant.
“It does,” softly, I claimed.
“Hm?”
“Feel like love.”