Chemistry: The Chemist

Chapter 14

Backward.

Forward.

Backward.

Forward.

I lapped the pool with the intention of releasing the stress that built each time I saw my father’s face. He was dying. I could smell death in his home. I saw it on his face. I heard it in his voice. He’d done what he’d promised he wouldn’t.

He’s given up.

It angered me. Knowing he was the glue holding my sanity together and that I was losing him made me sick to my stomach. Losing him was never in the plan. At least not so soon. He was supposed to grow old and die of natural causes. Having cancer end his time on earth made me feel robbed.

Wasn’t my mother e-fucking-nough?I questioned God as I fought the water, pounding my fist into its depths as I came up for air.

It had been two days since I’d last seen him and I hadn’t slept a wink. Getting through Roaman’s dinner celebration would be impossible without questions arising. Those women were a lot of things, but ignorant wasn’t one of them.

My father had managed to elude them for weeks now, answering their calls but making sure he wasn’t around when they visited the family’s home as of late. But, there were four birthdays, one after the other.

We didn’t have the time I thought we would to keep his condition under wraps. Everything was changing for him and fast. He’d have to face them and his reality. He wouldn’t be with us much longer.

“FUCK!”

I climbed out of the water and grabbed a towel from the warmer. It didn’t matter how much I tried over the last forty-eight hours, I couldn’t find peace. Not even thoughts of Eden soothed the aches my father’s sickness caused.

“Fuck!” A bit more defeated, a bit more defenseless, I whispered into the towel I used to pat my face.

Under the steady flow of warm water, I shed the emotions that weakened me and broadcasted my vulnerability. There were seven girls I’d need to remain level-headed for. When they crumbled, falling alongside them wasn’t an option for me. My time to lead the family had come.

No sympathy for a soldier.

I ended the shower and ambled out of the pool quarter without a single thread clinging to my skin. I’d given my housekeeper the week off because I was in no mood for human interaction, not unless their name began with an E and ended with an N.

There was a pang in my chest at the thought of her. Though I hadn’t found peace in the last forty-eight hours, she was the closest thing to it. That’s why I kept her near. Her presence just made sense in my world.

Up the stairs and in the master suite is where I found her. Sprawled across the bed I’d taken from her place, she slept without a care in the world. The ease I promised her had Eden living softly. Gently. Carefree. Just the way women were created to live.

I slid into a pair of briefs, hating the idea of waking her but I knew we’d be late if I didn’t. I wouldn’t hear the end of it from my father and I wouldn’t stop chastising myself, either. Even being on time in our family home was considered late.

In a fresh pair of briefs, I sat next to Eden on the bed. Her skin was glowing. She took her precious time oiling her body from head to toe every day. It was one of those things I could sit and watch her carry on with forever. It was slow, careful, and deliberate. Every movement. Every detail.

I pushed her hair out of her face. She’d spent the night with me and hadn’t gotten out of bed to do anything but bathe, eat, and use the toilet. I depleted her of her energy every chance I got, trying to relieve the stress that was riding on me. Between her pussy and the pool, which didn’t feel very different, I thought I’d feel better now. But, I was wrong. Nothing could soothe the pain of losing a parent. In my case, your only biological parent.

“Baby,” I whispered.

She didn’t budge, but I was certain she’d heard me.

“We have to get dressed and out of the house by five.”

“Hm?”

She maneuvered in bed, ruffling the sheets. Against her dark skin, the contrast to the white sheets was remarkable. We’d make beautiful children.

“Wake up, Choc.”

She reached over and pulled me into bed with her. I didn’t resist, because the urge was already present. I was struggling to keep my composure, but it was hardly useless. Eden would always win.

Whatever she wants. Whatever she needs.

“Just lay with me. Please. For ten minutes,” she groaned, making my heart skip a beat.

“Five.”

I wrapped her in my arms, allowing her to get five more minutes of rest. She deserved it. She’d been working me over, extracting nut from my sack for over twenty-four hours. I knew she’d need more time to recover. Time wasn’t on our side, though. We had a dinner to attend.

“Fine.” She yawned. “Seven.”

I compromised, setting the timer on my phone for seven minutes. Because I knew I wouldn’t sleep through it, I closed my eyes for a few minutes as well. As Eden’s breathing changed, mine did as well. Together, we snoozed, wrapped in each other’s warmth.

“Baby.” Choc’s voice stirred me awake.

“I’m up.”

“You’re literally asleep.” She chuckled, sleep still evident in her voice.

For the first time in days, I found a bit of peace and it was stolen minutes later by an annoying alarm and the woman who visited my dreams more often than not.

“I’m up. We should get dressed.”

“We should.”

I was thankful I wasn’t blinded by the main light in the suite. The low lights that were scattered about the room and automatically shined in the darkness were perfect. It was a small detail Rhea was adamant about during the build, but I’d thought was pointless at the time. I’d spend the rest of my life thanking her for the suggestion. They grew brighter as motion was detected and dimmed again when motion was no longer detectable.

“I should’ve figured out what I was wearing before I laid down.”

Eden couldn’t keep her mouth closed. She yawned again, stretching her arms in the air. Her bare body was hardly covered in sheets. Her nipples hardened as the AC unit kicked on, sheeting the entire room with cool air.

She shivered. With both her hands, she rubbed her arms and slid out of bed. I stood, gathering my bearings as well. Eden made her way toward the closet where her wardrobe was growing. I stopped her in her tracks.

“Your things are in the guest room, Choc, on the bed waiting.”

She twirled on her heels, a smile stripping the restfulness from her eyes.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?”

“You don’t give me much of a fucking choice, baby.”

“What if I told you I don’t want to be alone as I get dressed? I haven’t left out of the room and you already feel too far away. You made me sleep alone last night and this evening. If I get dressed alone, I’m going to start thinking you’re tired of me.” She blew smoke up my ass, pouting all while doing it.

“You don’t believe that shit. It doesn’t even sound good coming out of your mouth.”

I approached her, wrapping my arm around her neck. I pulled her into my chest and grabbed a hand full of her ass.

“Stay put. I’ll go get your shit and bring it in here.”

“Thank you.”

“A fucking shame, Choc.”

“What?”

“Rotten!”

“Would you have me any other way?”

“I’d put your pretty ass back where you came from,” I confessed.

Spoiling was my ministry. Years of catering to my sisters had given me lots of practice. I exited in pursuit of her things. I returned moments later finding out she’d migrated to the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth. I joined, grabbing my brush and placing it underneath the dispenser.

My heart galloped, hard and viciously as I stared at our reflection. The person I saw in the mirror this evening was not the person I saw months ago, in the same mirror. Mentally, I’d grown. Emotionally, I’d matured. Physically, I’d changed.

No longer was I that empty shell of a man. The person beside me filled that void. Made me whole. Made me hopeful. Made me happy.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Eden turned toward me and requested.

She’d finished cleaning her teeth and was preparing to gargle. My semen was hiding in parts of her mouth that the toothbrush couldn’t reach.

I spat in the sink before using the running water to rinse my mouth.

“Thank you.”

“Me?”

Her eyebrows raised, forming squiggly lines on her forehead.

“Yes, you, Choc.”

“For what, baby?”

She was clueless. She hardly understood the magnitude of her influence.

“For everything and nothing. For your presence. Your patience. Your light. Your love. Your energy. Your fearlessness. And for fucking with a nigga like me.”

“And thank you.”

She peered at me through the mirror with a smile. We were alike in a lot of ways, one being the way we felt the need to reciprocate the praise given because we didn’t want the spotlight shining too bright or the flaws would begin to show. The day she came to terms with her flawlessness in my eyes, she’d grow comfortable with my ovations.

“Nah– thank you.” I countered. She continued, eyes never leaving mine.

“For your attentiveness. Your attention to detail. Your delicacy. Your gentleness. Your curiosity. Your willingness to explore. Your ability to love even when the capacity was limited. Your vulnerability even though it’s hard. Your wisdom. Your— Everything. If I had the chance to do this all again, I wouldn’t change a thing, Chemistry.

“Not about you, about me, or about us. You bring me so much joy. So much happiness. So much adventure. I’m not sure what my life was without you, but it must’ve been hell. Because in some strange way, it feels like you’re my slice of heaven.”

“Niggas like me don’t make it there, baby,” I reminded her.

“But, you must know what it’s like because you’ve created it for me in the midst of all the flames.”

I didn’t try to elude her or the feelings the moment birthed. Rather had forbid it. Those days were over. I was ready to step fully into my role as Eden’s partner and that started with the difficult conversations, ones that were unbearably uncomfortable and packed with emotions.

“Admittedly, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, saying, or even feeling right now. What I do know is nothing has ever felt this way, or made me feel this way. I doubt I’ll ever feel this shit for anyone else, again. My father is dying of cancer and before he takes his last breath, I promised I’d produce an heir.

“That hasn’t come to fruition and even if it does, our child wouldn’t enter this world before he leaves it. Time isn’t on my side, Eden. Before he goes, I want to make you my wife. I’m not asking for it to be tomorrow, next week, or even next month. But, before he–”

“Is that why we went to the jewelers last–”

I nodded.

“I’m so sorry to hear– I– I lost my father to cancer. It wasn’t until you appeared that I forgot how good life can be when grief isn’t swallowing you whole. I’m so sorry, Chemistry.”

“Don’t be. It’s life, Eden. You live and you die. Those are the only two sure things life gives us. Everything in between is no guarantee.”

“What about chemo?”

“He’s old, Eden. Chemo would kill him before it could begin to heal him. This isn’t his first battle. He promised if it ever returned, he’d accept his fate. Those toxins nearly destroyed him. I didn’t see him for sixteen months. I remember it vividly because it was the worst year and four months of my life. It was before my mothe—yeah.” I paused.

“Baby–”

“I’ve been given one person, but it feels like it’s at the cost of another. It’s fuck up. This life guts you and then digs your grave.”

“Is that what’s been bothering you? Your last visit with your father?”

“The last few, but the one two days ago hasn’t left me yet. It won’t allow me to rest. Every time I close my eyes, there he is in a casket.”

“I wish there was something I could do– something I could say–”

“You being here right now, Choc, that’s all I need from you. Baby, it’s all I’ll ever need from you. Just stay by my side. I’ve got the rest. Always.”

She stood on the tips of her toes and wrapped her arms around me.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Every time those words left my mouth, a weight was lifted. Eden was my peace. Even in the midst of this storm, she managed to offer some amount of solace.

“In this lifetime and the others,” she responded, looking up at me with a smile.

“You gone find me there?”

“I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that, Choc, ’cause a nigga gone be waiting.”

A fleet of luxury cars lined the driveway of our family home. In addition to my siblings, there were a host of guests that included associates of the birthday girl and some family from Rhea’s tree. Mother Sheryl, the matriarch of the Franklins. Father Westly. Heather. Lindsey. Jermain. Jacob. Kendra. Kassie. And a handful of fully vetted associates who cared to celebrate Roaman’s special day.

Eden clung to my right side as we took the steps. We had only made it up two of them when the loud, thunderous bass in the distance summoned us both. Out of her newest addition to the collection, Roulette bolted before the engine had come to a complete stop. With a shake of the head, I observed as she checked her reflection in the side mirror and swept a thick piece of hair behind her ear.

She strutted past all the cars and met me on the second step, hardly giving me room to release the frustrated air that had begun building the second I heard her loud ass speakers. Realizing what she’d chosen to add to her fleet increased the pressure.

“Hello, Roulette.”

“Well, hello, Chemistry.”

“Giselle.” She nodded toward Eden.

“Eden,” I corrected her.

“Same difference,” she replied, sucking her teeth.

“Hi,” Eden greeted her. “And yes, it’s Eden.”

Tilting her head with a nod, she exposed the gum she’d been rolling around her tongue. “Okay. I knew I hired you for a reason. I love the little campfire you always have going. Please note I’m an entire field of fire. Wild. Untamable. Easily agitated. Hard to maintain. Even harder to smolder.”

I chuckled, finding her speech comical. “Good thing she’s fucking a fireman, baby.”

Eden’s neck whipped in my direction at the realization it was Roulette I was calling baby and not her.

“She’s a lot of mouth, Choc.”

“And action. Don’t forget that part, Chem.”

“Oh, I won’t,” I assured her. “But that’s nothing she has to worry about.”

“Umm. Hmmm. You two are cute together. You–”

She held her index fingers close to one another. “Fit so well. And you’re dressed alike. This is so sweet.”

“Please, Roulette.”

Eden was all teeth, smiling from ear to ear as her cheeks blushed a dark purple.

“Black is my favorite color. Well, and red,” she blabbered, rolling her eyes.

She tapped the key fob, securing her whip.

“You locking that motherfucker like somebody wants it. Better not let Pops see that disgrace in his front yard. He might get that shit towed.”

“What’s wrong with it? It’s an i8!”

“It’s a BMW. And the B stands for bullshit.”

“Like the B in Ben–”

“Mercedez Benz.”

“Whatever.”

“Magnificent. Memorable. Ma–”

“I get it,” she sassed, lifting the top of the box in my hand without my permission.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

“This better be pre-owned.” Roulette scoffed.

By the flaring of her nose and the way she looked up at me with eyes slimmed to slits, I knew she was unhappy.

“That’s insulting.”

“This is insulting.”

“The 30 Jaune Ambre– Croc– All I got was a vintage Kelly.”

“They’re both Hermès, Roulette. Both Birkins.”

“And the B in mine stands for bullshit.”

“It was vintage, not worn.”

“Do I look like a vintage bitch?”

“You don’t look like a bitch at all, baby.”

“You understand what I’m saying.”

“I don’t. Clarify.”

She sighed. “Tonight isn’t about me. Tonight is about Ro. But, you owe me, Teddy. This bag is at least $15,000 more than the one you–”

“Exactly, so why are you pouting? Just tell me you want something better and I’ll get you something better.”

“She wants something better.” Eden laughed. “Surely she wants something better.”

“Thank you. And you should get her one to for all the chaos you’ve caused out here tonight.”

“I haven’t caused shit. That’s all you.” I chuckled as I watched her put the lid on the box.

“Whatever.” She walked off, on her way inside to cause more hell.

“What did you get her, since you’re complaining about my gift?”

“Nothing. That’s from us all.”

“No, the fuck it’s not,” I countered, unable to contain my laughter. Roulette was so fucking full of herself that you couldn’t help but love her.

“I am the gift. Having me as a sister is a privilege. Not everyone can say they have a Roulette. I’m rare and very fucking expensive.”

“I won’t deny that last bit.”

“You can’t deny any of it.”

“Take your ass back outside if you didn’t get baby anything for her birthday. If no one else deserves a gift, she does. She’s put up with the foolishness of six women who came after her, all stepping on her nerves for a different reason and in a different way. Not to mention, besides Rome, she’s the only one with real sense.”

“I’m happy you didn’t include yourself because you’re the most senseless of us all.”

I couldn’t deny that, either. The doors opened when we approached, welcoming us into our territory, a place where we could disrobe and become the people our parents had raised instead of the people they’d made.

“I got her a gift, Chemistry.”

“Then where is it?”

“It’s not anything tangible. It’s a vacation. Seven days, to a very special island off the coast of Ja–”

“You’re full of shit,” I tittered, knowing exactly where this was going.

She was referring to one of the three islands I owned. On two, I’d managed to begin an entirely different civilization from the one we knew and grew up in. The other was private and a place for family to vacation when they needed to get away. All three were equally gorgeous.

“Take my plane. Stay at my home. What part of the trip do you begin contributing?”

“Shopping. I think that’s where I come in. Any shopping she wants to do while we’re there, I promise I’ll handle.”

“She hates shopping.”

“Even better.”

“You’re full of shit, Roulette,” I called out to her as she tiptoed toward the large dining hall.

“I got her a new Rolex. The one she’s been wearing is busted!” she yelled over her shoulder.

It was in her nature to bring us hell, but she meant no harm. Growing up in a home where jokes were few and far apart, Roulette had them lined up and ready to spit whenever the opportunity presented itself. In the field, she was nothing like the woman we’d just encountered on the steps.

She was a weapon. She was nontolerant. She ran her business with an iron fist. If she ever cracked a smile, someone had better be worried.

“That’s Roulette. I’m sure you’ve met her before.”

Stunned into silence, Eden shook her head. “I haven’t. I mean uh– not exactly. I was going to me– meet her the last night I worked, but then you came and–”

“Well, then, that’s Roulette.”

The doors of the dining hall opened. Family and a few unfamiliar faces filled almost every chair around the table. Roulette had even taken her seat. I placed Roaman’s gift behind her, against the wall where the others were. She slid her chair back and stretched her arms wide, accepting my love.

“You must be Eden?” she asked, still holding onto me.

“Yes.”

“Thank you for coming, I’m Roaman.”

“Happy Birthday.”

She cut me loose, ignoring Eden’s extended arm. She pulled her in for a hug instead.

“Nice to finally meet you.”

“It is,” Eden expressed, stepping away and immediately searching for me with her hand.

I put her mind and heart at ease, lacing my fingers through hers. We made our way to the head of the table where Richie and Rhea were.

“Eden, this is my father,” I introduced my old man. “Rowan. You can call him Richie.”

“Richie?” She whispered.

“His middle name is Richard.”

“Nice to meet you, Richie.”

My father stood, getting a firm grip on Eden’s free hand before shaking it.

“The pleasure is mine.”

He was a man of few words, especially when it came to strangers, so I wasn’t surprised when he sat down and allowed us to continue.

“Rhea, Eden. Eden, Rhea, my mother.”

Stepmother was her title, but she was much more than it entailed. Catherine had birthed me, but Rhea had molded me. She was a lifetime of stability in a mother figure, something I’d experienced in my mother until it was all snatched away.

When her mental health started to decline, so did my happiness. So did the happiness of everyone around her. That’s what I was afraid of most while fighting my own mental health battle.

I’d never experienced a crisis, but I knew I was capable. I understood that my mind wasn’t as flawless as it seemed and there were parts of me I couldn’t control if I wanted to. My impulsiveness was a sign of my illness. My thirst for blood was another one. It wasn’t my soul that was satisfied after; it was something deeper, something inexplicable that was fulfilled.

There were many dimensions to me, so many, I was still trying to discover the paths to them all. That’s why I needed Eden to stop trying to piece together my puzzle. Some pieces didn’t fit and they never would.

“Hello, Eden. I’m so happy to finally put a face to the name.”

You’ve had a face to the name, I thought. I was no fool. My father had shown her Eden’s picture, probably back as far as her grade school photos. She lied with a straight face, nearly forcing me to laugh.

Richie’s damn wife.

“Rather, Royce, Range… Eden.”

I made it around the table, leaning in to hug Rome.

“Baby, this is Eden. Eden, this is my youngest sister, Rome. She’s the baby of the family. She’s my eyes, my ears, and my heart. She’s also a ballerina. She has a big show coming in a few months. We’ll be there.”

“I can hardly wait. Nice to meet you, Rome.”

“Likewise.”

I’d waited as long as I possibly could to poke the resting beast. Rugger sat next to chairs designated for Eden and me. I contemplated leaving well enough alone, but Eden nudged me as we prepared to sit, urging me to make the introduction.

“Rugger,” I called out.

She didn’t move an inch. Her eyes remained on the glass in her hand twirling it while possibly thinking of a hundred ways she could unalive Eden with it and sleep well tonight knowing she had.

“This is Eden. Eden, Rugger.”

“Nice to me–”

“Another round, please, Veronica?” politely, she asked.

The disrespect was intolerable. Instead of getting comfortable in my seat, I stalked hers, not stopping until I was in front of her with it pulled out from underneath the table.

“I don’t like making scenes, Rugger. We have guests, baby. But, if you want to take it there, make sure you’re ready to take it all the way there. I’ve never disrespected you, not even once. I expect the same from you.

“By disrespecting Eden, you are disrespecting everything I stand for. You will fix your fucking face and you will smile and you will greet her just like the others. If you have a problem with that, we can take this shit outside. Have I made myself clear?” I whispered in her ear.

As I gave her space to digest everything I’d said, I smoothed the wrinkles of my jacket with a smile. “Clear?”

Chuckling, she nodded. “Very.”

Rugger was every bit of me. Every bit of Richie. Rhea was nowhere to be found. We’d marked the poor girl.

“Well, then,” I concluded our conversation without having to say another word.

I leaned in and kissed her forehead. Slowly, I turned her back around and pushed her forward until her chair was almost under the table. However, it was facing Eden, who was too startled to speak.

“Good evening, Eden.”

“U-uh… Hello.”

“Now, wasn’t that easy?” I asked, close enough to her face so only she and I could hear.

“I can think of something much more satisfying and easi?—”

“Rugger.”

“Hello, Chemistry.” She sighed, falling in line though she’d much rather be defiant.

“That’s better.”

I patted my palm against the side of her face, gently. Rugger was a fucking headache, but she had my heart. When I looked at her pretty face, I saw so much of me. If there was any chance a woman could head the family business, it was her. I believed it wholeheartedly. But, unfortunately, they weren’t given the opportunity.

“Eden, everyone. Everyone, Eden.”

I’d made my rounds and introduced Eden to the people she’d encountered most. The people who meant the most to me. At a later time, I’d be sure Mother and Father Franklin had a chance to chat with her. For now, they were too busy trying to stay awake. Their bedtime was at seven, exactly when dinner started.

Everyone around us had fallen back into conversation by the time Rugger and Eden had been properly introduced. I wasn’t sure if the other conversations had ever stopped. Maybe it was time that stood still when a woman I love shunned another I loved. Or, maybe it was everything around me. I wasn’t too sure, but something had stopped. Maybe it was my heart.

Salads were the first on the table. The menu had been planned months ahead of time. Roaman had chosen her favorites but gave wiggle room for those who might’ve preferred things that weren’t on her shortlist. She was the most accommodating of them all. Had it been anyone else, they wouldn’t have given a damn what anyone else preferred. I couldn’t say I would’ve either.

Eden chose a Caesar salad. I went with the house selection. Though mine looked and smelled divine, I picked off her plate until I’d had a decent helping.

“Now… yours.”

She pulled my plate in her direction and began forking my greens. Suddenly, I was interested in the salad I’d chosen again.

“It’s good.”

“It is,” she agreed. “What kind of dressing is this?”

“Rhea makes the dressings from scratch. I’m afraid I’ll botch the name and disappoint her if I try to pronounce it.”

“I’ll have to get this recipe.”

It was creamy and rich, thick in texture with hints of garlic and citrus.

“I’ll make sure it gets to you. She’s been creating a cookbook for the girls since they were babies. She has over five hundred recipes, now.”

“Seriously?” Eden’s eyes blossomed like flowers.

“Rhea!” I belted, grabbing hold of her attention.

“Yes, son?”

“I was telling Eden about your recipes. You’re up to five hundred or so now, correct?”

“Oh, Chemistry, you’re behind. I’m well into six hundred. The last time we chatted about the book was over a year ago. It’s grown tremendously since then.”

“Does dad know? Or has he been around for the results, because it doesn’t look like he’s had anything to eat all month,” Royce pointed out. “Are you on a diet we don’t know about, old man? Preparing to look good on a beach? I need that amount of discipline.”

Clicking his tongue, my father sucked his tongue. “Not voluntarily.”

Worry lines creased my face. Tonight was Roaman’s night. Her heart wouldn’t be able to stand the bomb our father would drop on it.

“I’ve de–” I was cut off almost instantly.

“I’m moving forward with the Berkeley plan. Roulette is expanding. Two sister-establishments. Securing locations is the next step. I have two in mind, both currently owned and operated by others.”

Roulette looked over at me with that adorable smirk of hers that I loved so much. With a wink, she let me know what she’d done was lightweight and handling the stress of a situation only she and I were aware of was nothing.

Thank you. I mouthed.

“They’ll be yours by tomorrow if you’d like.”

If Roulette wanted to expand, then Roulette would expand. Whoever was in her way would have to move or be moved.

“I’m in no hurry. Busy is slow. They’ll be ready to sell everything by the time I am ready.”

“Good. Whatever you need, baby.”

“The way you refer to them as baby,” Eden whispered. “That’s adorable.”

“Doesn’t matter how old they get. They’ll still be babies in my eyes. Mine, more specifically.”

“I promise to let you know.”

“She’ll bleed your pockets dry,” Range warned.

“I doubt that’s obtainable, Range.” I sucked my teeth and sat back in the chair I was in.

“Does this mean you’re leaving us?” Royce forked her greens as she posed the question. The pained look on her face let me know she wasn’t too happy with Roulette’s news.

“No. But, I will be back and forth–a lot.”

“Oh.” Royce sighed, releasing a visibly deep breath.

“Would you have missed me?”

“Y–”

“I would’ve,” Rome admitted.

“Me, too,” Range chimed in.

“Of course, I would’ve.” Roaman nodded.

“Me, too,” Rather claimed.

They all waited for Rugger to speak. They’d be waiting forever and we all knew it. Laughter erupted around the table.

“Rugger,” my father called out to her. “Be nice.”

Appetizers appeared as his warning surfaced. They were sitting in between each set of chairs for easy access. The helpings were large and diverse so sharing was encouraged. The deviled eggs and sweet chili salmon bites were the first to be transferred to my plate and the first to be demolished.

“Try this, baby,” Eden convinced me, holding a fork to my face.

I accepted the piece of grilled shrimp and bell pepper tossed in a savory marinade she’d pulled from the skewer.

“Good, right?”

Because my mouth was still full, I nodded. It was clear I’d leave with a few pounds and an upset stomach in tow. There was at least one more birthday dinner before the month ended, so history would only repeat itself.

Chatter was minimized as everyone began to explore their palette, some expanding it while others stuck to the foods they were most comfortable with. Eden had a bit of everything on the appetizer dish. I looked around the table and discovered my sisters had all done the same. Just as I’d imagined, she fit right in.

To my surprise, she had pulled Rugger from her dungeon. The two were involved in chatter, Rugger explaining the importance of the work she does as a forensic specialist. Eden didn’t blink once. Her interest was piqued.

Rugger then began to explain the occupations and hobbies of the rest of the bunch. She skated right over mine as if it wasn’t as useful as the others. Rome twirled in a circle for a living and if she lived off that salary alone, she’d be out on the street.

Her monthly allowance kept her afloat. Yet, Rugger spent the most time convincing Eden of how special Rome’s talents were and how much more intrigued she was with her in comparison to everyone who needed an education to seek their dreams.

“So, Eden.” Range’s curiousness saved Choc from Rugger’s rare spill.

“Yes. Range, isn’t it?”

“See, you’re learning fast.”

“Trying to keep up here,” Eden disclosed.

“Range. Roulette. Rather. Rugger. Rome. Royce. Roaman.” She pointed at everyone, giving her a final crash course.

Beside Range, Rome summoned me with a visibly pained expression. When our eyes met, a very hesitant, ingenuine smile barely came to fruition on her beautiful face. My stomach knotted. My heart fell into the soles of my shoes. I’d seen that look before. I knew exactly what it meant. The nature of it, however, I was unsure of.

“What’s the matter, baby?” I mumbled, aware she could read my lips.

She shook her head from side to side, leaving me baffled. I tilted my head in the opposite direction, suggesting she meet me in the foyer.

“I’ll be back in a minute or two.” Leaning over, I explained to Eden, “Don’t let them convince you of anything. None of them except that one over there. She’s the good one.” My finger was aimed in Roaman’s direction.

“Okay.”

“Excuse me.”

I excused myself from the table and headed toward the entryway where Rome would be meeting me. It wasn’t long before her heels were clapping against the floor. She was ravishing in the black tulle. Her hair flowed down her back and shoulders, covering almost everything her haltered dress didn’t. With open arms, I pulled her into me and kissed her forehead delicately.

“It feels like it’s been weeks since I’ve seen you.” She breathed, emotionally charged and disturbed.

The imbalance was both frustrating and disheartening. Rome’s gift cursed her sometimes. Tonight felt like one of those nights.

“What’s the matter, baby?”

Pausing, she stepped away and began pacing a small area she drew invisible bordered around.

“Rome.”

“I don’t know how to say this without– I just–”

I snapped my fingers desperate to flip the switch in her head.

One.

Twice.

Immediately, the words came tumbling out.

“It’s Eden,” she exclaimed. “Something doesn’t feel right with her.”

Taken aback by the declaration, I halted. Everything around us disappeared as I digested what was being presented to me. Rome had never steered us stray. She had my best interest at heart.

However, she’d never witnessed a platonic or romantic relationship between me and another woman. Upon hearing I was seeing someone, she fought with her own feelings, her own selfishness as it pertained to me. I raked through the hair on my face as I gazed at Rome.

“I just need to ask you one question, Rome.”

“Anything, Teddy.”

“Is she no good for me or is it your heart that’s hurting at the thought you’ll lose pieces of me that have been yours since the day you were born? Is it discernment or is it heartache, baby?”

There was a thin line between the two. I just needed to be sure.

“I– I can’t be sure. This feels like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

“Because it is something you’ve never experienced before. This is new for us all. I am not dismissing what you’ve said to me. I’m locking it in here.” I pointed to my head.

“But, until you can decipher… until you can separate your feelings from this matter… give me a definite answer, nothing changes, okay? But, when, and if you say the word, Rome, I’ll handle it accordingly.”

“Okay.”

The worry lines that creased her forehead were repulsive.

“Listen, don’t worry about me, okay?”

“You say that like it’s so easy. It’s not.”

“Just don’t, baby. I’m alright. I can handle my shit.”

“I’ve never worried about you because I know that already. But, things change.”

“And so do people. Please keep that in mind when you’re finalizing your decision. Alright?”

“Okay.”

“You look beautiful, Rome. Has anyone told you that tonight?”

“You.”

“Good, then. That’s enough right there.”

I took her by the hand and led her down the hallway. Just before we entered the dining hall where everyone was waiting, Rome stopped.

“What is it?”

“I do like her,” she told me.

“But, not for me?” I chuckled.

“The verdict is still out.”

“You want your big brother to yourself and I get it. But, how will he give you nephews and nieces if you don’t want him to find someone to give them to him?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Teddy.” She chortled.

“When you’re ready, let me know, okay?”

“I will.”

A final kiss on the forehead and we were headed back inside. Seeing Eden had changed seats and was occupying Rome’s chair to get closer to the action and a healthier distance for ease of conversation, made parts of me smile. But the pang in my chest was potent, forcing me to disregard everything else for a moment. It wasn’t until she was by my side, her palm was against mine, and she was unveiling those three words I often yearned for that I settled.

“I love you,” she confessed, resting her head on my shoulder.