14. Bad Memories, Bad Dreams
Chapter fourteen
Bad Memories, Bad Dreams
“So, tell me absolutely everything!” Trevor said as he handed Asher a large coffee as the pair of omegas walked through campus toward their first class.
“What do you want to know?” Asher asked.
“Literally every single thing! Spare no detail!” He said gesticulating wildly with his hands and almost dropping his hot tea as Asher laughed.
“Do you want to know about the part where he spanked me and I called him Daddy?” Asher asked with raised brows.
“Oh my gods, you filthy little whore! Yes! I want to know everything!”
Asher told Trevor about his weekend, though he did skip over some of the more lascivious parts regardless of what he’d teased. Trevor was very interested in his interactions with Sebastian's family, and the fact that the alpha had introduced him to his sister and niece as his boyfriend so easily, when they were clearly important to him. Asher had to agree that it was special. He'd never had an alpha introduce him to their family before, and Asher surely would never introduce anyone to his own family, the absolute mess that it was.
He could acknowledge though that meeting Sebastian’s sister had been really nice and meeting his niece was even more so. The little girl was absolutely adorable and Asher had received his very first dose ever of true baby fever. As he thought about the little girl with her bouncy pigtails and purple sippy cup, he could imagine his own baby, a tiny little life that he’d grown within his body. He pushed those thoughts away, it was nowhere near time for him and Sebastian to be thinking about kids. They’d barely had a couple of meetings and one very pleasurable weekend but the thought was planted, and he knew that once the seed of the idea took root, it would eventually grow into something much larger.
In Asher's afternoon art class, his professor brought up the yearly university art competition, which the school ran every year. Last year, Asher's piece hadn't made it into the final running, but he hoped to be selected this year. Those who did make it got to display their artwork in the student’s section of one of the largest art shows of the year that took place in the winter. He desperately wanted one of his pieces to make the cut. He’d been considering ever since the previous year, what kind of piece he would enter this time to improve on his last attempt.
Asher's mind went to those moments of pure pleasure when Sebastian had been making love to him, and he thought about those feelings and how he could transfer them into a visual medium. The alpha pulled very strong emotions and sensations from him, and he knew that if he could translate those feelings into art, he could make something truly wonderful. As they were told the deadlines and the parameters of what they could enter, Asher’s mind was alive with ideas. He knew that Trevor would also be entering into the competition, though he would be entering for photography. But as he moved through his classes and work over the next few days, half his attention was preoccupied with the slow creation of a piece of art in his mind, a tiny idea, building into something much clearer.
He and Sebastian's courtship returned to one done over the phone as their weekend ended and Asher went back to his everyday life, going to school during the day and working his two jobs in the evening, and Sebastian went about his duties as CEO of his company. They still managed to stay in touch consistently, even when they couldn't see each other. Sebastian sent him pictures of Princess and Asher sent the alpha pictures of what he was doing throughout his days, and occasionally even of the art he was working on. It was very rare for Asher to send selfies, but Sebastian was able to weasel them out of him with well placed begging, which always made Asher giddy. He liked how much the alpha wanted him and he liked making him wait for what he wanted.
As the weeks passed, Asher and Sebastian spent their weekends together, sometimes at the alpha's sprawling mansion and other times in Asher's tiny loft. Sebastian seemed to like watching him paint, and Asher didn't mind the alpha being there when he was in a creative mood. In fact, Sebastian seemed to inspire him and he created some truly marvelous paintings during those weekends, especially when Sebastian would sit on his stool and let Asher perch himself in his lap. During those pleasant sessions, Sebastian nosed against the back of his neck and scented him, ran his hands over his bare skin and peppered him with kisses. It made Asher feel very wanted and relaxed, which had his hand moving smoothly across the canvas without thought or hesitation.
Sebastian loved going through the many canvases that filled Asher's small loft. The place was 90% studio and 10% living space and Sebastian loved being there. Asher had actually shown the alpha the nude self-portrait that he'd made a year past, the explanation about how he'd had to stand in front of his long corner mirror to get all of the details went in one ear and out the other as Sebastian stared at it, entranced.
Sebastian asked if he could take some of the pieces, and Asher had willingly parted with them. It pleased him when he saw his own paintings hanging around Sebastian's home. In the alpha’s bedroom, his nude self-portrait hung across from the end of the bed where he knew Sebastian would see it every morning when he woke up. It was a clash to the rest of the room whose theme was centered around cars, but Asher enjoyed evidence of his presence in the home of the alpha who he was coming to regard as his.
Asher liked spending time with Sebastian, and he liked that the alpha seemed just as eager to be with him, whether that time involved sex or not. Though, more often than not it did, and Asher was just as guilty of taking them down that path as Sebastian was. A little over 2 months into their courtship, the new campaign for Cherry Breeze went public, and Asher had not expected any real change in his life, since he was not a professional model, nor did he have any intention of trying to pursue a career in it.
He’d thought maybe people who knew him might recognize it, but Asher found that even when he was at work at the cafe or walking down the street, people seemed to recognize him. Several had asked to take selfies with him or even for his autograph, which made him laugh. He'd never thought about notoriety other than when he thought about wanting it for his art. His physical beauty wasn't something he really worked for, it was something he'd been born with and inherited from his mother, who was quite beautiful herself.
It wasn't long after the first advertisements dropped, that he got a call from his mother. The two of them hadn’t spoken since Asher left for art school almost two years ago, and he hadn't expected to hear anything from her, possibly ever again. Which was why he was so shocked as he looked at the contact that flashed up on his phone. His mother’s face looked back at him with her perfect makeup and hair and falsely sweet smile. He couldn't help but wonder if Trevor’s fears had been right, and his mother somehow found out about him dating Sebastian. Against his better judgment, he picked up the call and answered.
“Hello?”
“Asher! We haven't talked in awhile. How are you doing?” His mother’s voice was cheerful, as if she hadn’t told him last time they spoke that he was on his own and not to expect any support as long as he was determined to pursue his “foolish dream” of being an artist.
“What do you want, Mom?” Asher asked cooly, tension building in his stomach and making him feel nauseous.
“Can't I just call to talk to my son?” She asked, sounding hurt.
“Based on the past 2 years of my life, I'd say no. Or at least you’ve never been interested in what I was doing before. So why the sudden phone call?”
His mother completely ignored the accusations, which wasn’t a surprise to Asher. He sighed and rubbed his temples.
“I was just calling to check on you. By the way, I didn't realize you were interested in modeling.”
That's when Asher knew. His mother had seen the advertisements. He wasn’t really surprised, the internet, TV, and billboards were full of pictures of him in the fountain, playing in the water. Personally, he really loved them and thought that Sebastian’s vision for the scenario was both full of fantasy, but realistic enough to make it relatable. He was the playful omega that all alphas wanted, “the dream boy” as Sebastian called it, but the alpha took as much care to make sure that Asher knew that Sebastian was ready to fight off any rivals that might appear. The thought of Sebastian had his heart aching and he pushed those thoughts away in favor of paying full attention to the conversation.
“I'm not really interested in modeling, Mom. I did model for that campaign, but I'm not a professional model. I'm still in art school, remember?”
“Oh come now, you have a bright future if you decide to pursue modeling. You've always been beautiful. You get that from me.” She said, voice full of vanity, and Asher rolled his eyes. “Wealthy alphas love to have a model as a mate. It could really-” But Asher cut her off there.
“Mom, we've talked about this. I want to be an artist. I'm going to art school and there's nothing you can do to stop me. I don’t want to marry some rich guy.”
“Yes, yes…” Asher could picture her waving one perfectly manicured hand dismissively. “Well you can go to art school but also keep your other options open. The son of one of Harold’s business associates is a very bright, up-and-comer and he's got a very promising future ahead of him as the future owner of a large firm. He saw your advertisement, and when he found out that you were our son-” Asher interrupted again, this time more harshly.
“No. First of all, I am not Harold’s son. I do not claim that alpha as my father. Furthermore, I am not going to sell myself to some business associate of your mate.”
“I never said that you had to! But I could buy you a ticket and you could come home for the weekend and just meet him.” His mother interjected, her tone sounding like she was trying to reason with a child.
Asher hadn’t been this angry since he was a teen. His mother always knew how to get under his skin. When he answered this time, there was no hint of civility in his tone. His words were acid as the spit them out of his mouth, burning their way up his throat as the tears burned in his eyes and fell down over his lower lashes.
“The answer is no. I will never do that. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. I am not going to marry some rich asshole, just because he’s rich and thinks I'm pretty and he wants to posture me around as one more of his possessions. I am not an object and I'm not going to be treated like one. Besides, I already have an alpha.”
“Asher, I'm sure whatever art student that you're dating is probably a very nice boy, but it's not the same as finding someone who can take care of you and give you the future that you deserve.”
“I don't want someone else to give me the future I deserve. I am going to make the future I deserve. If and when I decide that I want to accept an alpha permanently, it will be someone I love and who loves me. The future I make will be one that I choose, not that someone else makes for me. This bullshit is exactly how you've gotten stuck in bad mating after bad mating. You care more about money than you care about who you're with.”
It was his mother’s turn to lose her civility and she hurled her words at him like stones, each one a painful hit against old insecurities.
“Now listen here young man, you don't talk to me that way. What I’ve done, I've done for you. So don't be so ungrateful! I’ve given up everything for you to have a bright future and you’re throwing it away on this useless dream. You aren’t going to be a famous artist. You are going to while away your youth trying to do something that you’ll never achieve.”
“Done it for me? Yeah right! You sent me away to private school the second that you found an alpha who decided he didn't want to have me around. You've always put your mates before me and I'm not going to live the life that you've led and you should be happy for that, because I am going to be happy whether I fall in love with a millionaire or a dead broke art student. I’ll have what you never had. Love. ”
“Asher, listen to me-”
“No mom, I'm not listening. I have to go, I'm going to be late for work. Bye.”
Asher hung up the phone and tossed it aside. He didn't actually have to go to work. He'd actually just gotten home and was about to call Sebastian to come and pick him up, as they planned to spend their weekend together. But as he lost his control, tears flowed heavier and his chest shuddered and then he was sobbing. It would be easier if he just hated his mother outright, but she was still his mother, even if she wasn’t a good person and she was still the one who he remembered tucking him in at night when he was small. She was the one who scared the monsters out of his closet and spiked his hair up with shampoo in the bath. Somewhere along the way, that woman had been lost and he was left to mourn the loss of someone who was still very much alive
Asher didn't really feel like having a fun weekend all of the sudden. He felt kind of... like he wanted to be alone, or just that he didn't want to play and have to pretend to be happy. That thought had his wolf whining inside him. They had both been looking forward to spending the weekend with their alpha and Asher's current mood didn't really change that. He also didn't want to ruin Sebastian's weekend with his dramatic bullshit and stupid personal drama. He got some tissues and blew his nose and cleared his throat, trying to hide the fact that he’d been crying and called his alpha. Sebastian picked up on the first ring, clearly waiting for him to call.
“Hey, Baby! Are you ready for me to come get you?” Sebastian's excited voice came through the line.
“Hey, alpha… Um… I'm not sure. I don't know if you really want to be around me this weekend.” Asher said, trying to hide the sound of his stuffy nose and the tears that stung in his eyes the moment he heard Sebastian’s voice. “I don't think I'm going to be very fun this weekend.”
“What do you mean Baby?” Sebastian asked, the excitement fleeing his voice, replaced by concern.
“I mean... I just don't want to bring you down, and I'm not in a very good mood right now. I'm not going to be the fun, playful Asher that you are used to.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Sebastian asked, his tone shifting now to confusion and then conviction. “If something happened I want to know about it. I don't care if you're not in a fun mood. I want to be with you. This isn’t just… I mean, I don’t want to just be around you when times are good. A relationship is more than just spending time with someone when it's fun and convenient. If you are not feeling well or something's wrong, I want to be there even more. That's part of being a good alpha and being a good partner. Being there for the person you care about, even when they don't feel their best.”
Asher’s tears were flowing again and he sniffled, wiping at his face. No one had ever said anything like that to him before. No one had ever wanted to take care of him before.
“R-Really?”
“Yes really, Baby. Let me come and get you and take you away for the weekend. Fuck everybody else. Let's spend some time, just you and me, all alone. And if you only want to sit in silence, then you can at least do it while I massage your shoulders and scent the ever-living shit out of you until you can't smell anything else but me and I can pamper you and cuddle you until you’re smiling again or hold you while you’re sad.”
Asher gave a watery laugh and thought that actually did sound wonderful.
“Okay, come and get me, alpha.”
“I’ll be right there. I’m coming, omega.”
It was a big deal for Asher to allow someone to take care of him. He knew that that's what he was offering Sebastian; an opportunity to take care of him and to put some of his trust in the hands of his alpha. Asher had to be independent from a very young age, because his “parents” had not wanted to care for him. He'd had to learn how to do things on his own. The idea of letting someone else take care of you was tantamount to giving them power over you, and to Asher that was terrifying. But… even though he still found it terrifying to really show someone his true feelings and emotions, he wanted to put his trust in his alpha. He wanted someone who would be on his side no matter what. Of course, he had Trevor and he knew that his best friend would always be there for him, but it wasn’t the same as a partner, an alpha who he could truly rely on and for whom, Asher would always be their first priority.
Sebastian wasn't sure what was wrong with Asher, but he'd never heard him sound so upset. His omega was always so happy. He was his effervescent and sassy Cherry, but the Asher he’d just heard on the phone sounded timid and unsure of himself. It was something he hadn't realized would upset him until he actually heard it. He’d gotten used to the omega being happy and positive with his joyful and sassy teasing. He didn't know that Asher even had so much insecurity inside him, but the idea that someone had upset him made Sebastian want to find out who it was and do whatever he must, to make sure that Asher never had to feel upset by that person again.
He felt protective over him, he thought of Asher as his omega. Their courtship had only been ongoing for a few months, but his days felt like they led up to those moments where he got to talk to Asher, when the omega was laying down for bed after his shift cleaning the offices, or those very rare selfies that Asher sent him during their time apart. He even enjoyed the random pictures of a strangely dressed pedestrian or a very pretty flower, and most of all, the little snippets of his artwork. There was something very personal about Asher sharing his unfinished art with him, like he was being allowed to look into places where others weren’t.
The alpha packed a bag quickly, just enough clothes necessities for the weekend, though he knew he had extras at his vacation home, which was where he was planning to take Asher. He wanted to get them away for a little while and let his omega have some time to relax, calm down and recenter himself after whatever had upset him. He hoped that Asher would feel comfortable talking to him about it. He hoped there was something he could do to make him feel better. He knew Asher was feeling anxious, so he took one of the blankets from his bed with him, knowing it was covered in his scent and quickly called his sister to ask if she would mind feeding Princess.
As he was just about to throw his small duffle bag into the storage compartment of his Lamborghini, he realized that Asher would probably want to bring all his art supplies with him, and there wasn’t really space for him and his painting supplies. Sebastian wanted Asher to have a relaxing time and he knew that painting was one of the omega’s outlets. Instead of taking his Lamborghini, he took his other car from the second garage, which was a mid-size SUV.
In short order, Sebastian was headed toward Asher's loft. He was agitated and he wanted to get to his omega and make sure that he truly was okay.
Sebastian was anxious to have Asher in his arms so he could give him reassurance. Sebastian had never felt like this about anyone he dated. But the idea that something was upsetting Asher had the alpha feeling anxious, and he wanted to solve whatever problem it was that had caused Asher to sound so unlike himself. He knew that Asher probably didn't need his help with whatever it was that was making him sad, but it wasn't really about Asher needing help, and more about Sebastian wanting to offer him support, like any alpha would want to do with an omega that they... loved?
That thought had his foot easing from the gas pedal and his heart thundering in his chest. Did he love Asher? He’d never really been in love with anyone before, and he'd known Asher only for a few months. But what time they had spent together was some of the best of his life. He'd never longed for the presence of another person the way that he did with Asher, and he had to admit that going to bed alone every night was getting harder and harder by the day. He wanted Asher in his home, he wanted to cook him dinner every night, to make sure he was eating well. He wanted him in his bed for more than just sex. He wanted Asher there so he could hold him and ease some of the anxiety that seemed to have bubbled itself up inside his chest every time he had to go to sleep alone, not knowing whether his omega was safe or not.
Of course, he talked to Asher every night before bed, but that wasn't the same as holding him in his arms, feeling the subtle thrum of his heart through his back as it pressed to Sebastian's chest. It wasn't the same as truly keeping him safe and knowing that nothing could happen to him because he was with his alpha, Sebastian who would give anything to keep him from harm. The realization that he was in love, rushed through him and it only increased his desire to get to his omega’s side at once.
He made it to Asher's loft and parked outside, quickly made his way upstairs to Asher's apartment and knocked on the door. He could smell his omega, but the sweet cherry scent that he was used to was faded, almost as though something had dampened the omega. That idea made his wolf wild inside him. No one should be making their omega feel like this, and as soon as the door slid open, Sebastian had Asher gathered in his arms in a tight embrace nosing his way down to the omega's neck as he crushed him in a tight embrace.
“Baby, are you okay?”
Asher wasn't sure what exactly it was about Sebastian's presence, but as soon as his nose filled with the scent of sandalwood and citrus, the dam of his tears burst, and suddenly he was sobbing. His legs gave out underneath him and Sebastian's arms held him up and kept him from falling to the floor. He surrendered himself to the alpha completely in a show of trust he wouldn’t have thought he’d be strong enough to show anyone. It was the culmination of a lifetime of wanting to be supported and loved that slammed into him and sent him out into the free fall of emotion. He hadn’t cried so hard since he was a child, and as he was lifted into strong arms, he clung to the alpha, unwilling to be released as he whimpered and hiccuped against his neck.
“Baby? Shit… Baby?” Sebastian asked, as Asher continued to sob into his neck.
Hearing from his mother again for the first time in so long hurt. It was even worse that the reason that she'd called had been to try and set Asher up with a business associate of his stepfather. Asher didn’t want that life and she knew that. Asher’s heart ached that the only reason she'd called had most likely been because Harold wanted Asher to help him advance his career. That was what hurt the most. His mother didn't care about him at all. As far as she knew, Asher was a virgin and she was willing to have him part with his virtue over money. That sounded dramatic, but she’d never asked about his dating life, she didn’t seem to care one way or the other what he did and she hadn’t since before she’d dissolved the mating with his biological father.
Sometimes, throughout the years, he’d wondered if his mother regretted having him, if he was a reminder of the mate who had betrayed her. That was all he could think of, that she blamed him for her first mating falling apart, when Asher knew it hadn’t been his fault at all. He’d only been a child, but he’d lost everything too. Everything he’d ever known had disappeared, and he’d moved place to place with his mother, the only person he could rely on, slowly growing more and more distant. He hadn’t even realized how much he was still upset about those things until it all came crashing back down on him unexpectedly.
Sebastian held him with hands under his thighs, Asher’s legs wrapped around his hips as he cried into his shoulder. The omega was whimpering and making soft distress noises as he completely let go of himself. He buried his face against Sebastian's shoulder, taking in huge gulps of his scent between sobs. That wonderful scent flooded his head and his hands were gripped so hard into the muscles of his back he was sure he must be hurting him, but he couldn’t control his body.
Asher’s wolf was more in control than usual and he couldn’t put on his usual facade. His omega also felt the betrayal of their mother, perhaps even more so than the human half of him. Omega children longed for affection, and the longer he’d gone without it, the more he’d convinced himself that he didn’t need it. He didn’t need anyone. He was strong and independent and he didn’t want to put his happiness in the hands of someone else.
That was what he’d told himself. Until Sebastian had come along and proven himself to be trustworthy, to be a good alpha. Asher hadn’t planned on crying in front of him. He’d actually managed to get himself in some semblance of order, and packed a weekend bag as he pushed everything back into the little corner of his mind where he kept unpleasant things. But the moment his nose had filled with sandalwood and citrus, he’d lost it.
That scent was the safest place he’d ever known and he hadn’t realized how much he desired the feeling of safety until he had breathed in his alpha’s scent and inside him, his wolf keened, ecstatic that their alpha had come to get them. His wolf had overtaken his control somewhat, but Asher was too weak to stop it or even want to stop it. He was safe. Sebastian was safety in a human form, his body was the shape of comfort and trust and pleasure, his scent a wall that protected him from the world, his arms were the shelter where he could rest without a single worry, his voice the softest lullaby that soothed him to his soul.
“Shh… shh… It’s okay. It’s alright, Baby. I’ve got you.” Sebastian soothed as he stepped into Asher’s apartment and used a foot to slide the door closed behind him before pushing him up against the wall and pressing him there, letting him feel small and safe. “No one is going to hurt you, omega. Your alpha is here. I’ll keep you safe. Just hold onto me as long as you need to… That’s it. Just relax into me. I’m here.” Sebastian kept on like that as Asher slowly calmed, soothing and praising him for his progress until Asher was quiet and softly sniffling against the damp material that had soaked up his tears.
Asher finally pulled back from hiding against Sebastian's shoulder and the alpha kissed him. He peppered soft kisses on his lips, his cheeks, the tip of his nose, scenting him as he moved across his skin to press more and more kisses to the places he could reach. Asher's breaths were still a bit labored, small hiccuping breaths shuddering his chest. The omega wiped his tear-streaked face, knowing that his makeup must be an absolute sight, but Sebastian was looking at him with a kind of tenderness that had his heart stuttering in his chest.
“Are you okay, Baby?”
“Y-yeah.” Asher stuttered, face still feeling warm.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Asher shook his head, but he didn't want a Sebastian to think he was dismissing him, so he explained, “I will... but just not right now.”
“You can take your time, Cherry. I'll be here whenever you're ready to talk and until then I'll just take care of you.”
Asher nodded and wiped his cheeks again, giving the alpha a wobbly smile that made Sebastian’s heart lurch. It was a smile, but it was too sad to ease the knot in his stomach. Seeing Asher in pain was torture. He wanted to fix whatever it was that was making him so sad.
“Let's get your things. We can be there by 1:30 if we leave soon.”
Asher gave a little wiggle, indicating that he wanted to be put down. Sebastian allowed him to slide from his hold, even though his wolf was insisting that they hold their omega longer, until he was completely relaxed, but he also wanted Asher in the quiet car, where perhaps the sound of the road would soothe him to sleep. Every instinct told him to sequester Asher away from the world. The knowledge that someone or something had done this to his omega was a torment to his wolf.
“Th-That’s my stuff.”
Asher pointed at a small backpack, the same one he always brought on their weekend visits. As Sebastian moved to sling it over his shoulder, he turned to the omega.
“Do you want to bring your painting supplies with you? I brought the SUV so there's plenty of room for whatever you want to bring.”
Asher liked that, thinking about being all alone with Sebastian for a whole weekend, painting and pretending that the rest of the world didn't exist. Asher nodded and began to pack his supplies into the large Tupperware where he kept all his tubes of paint, his mixing mediums, and other various art supplies. The omega cherry-picked through his tumultuous cups of brushes until he had a couple of large fistfuls. He laid them on a rag, rolling them up and securing them with a rubber band. Sebastian watched on, knowing that he couldn't help with this process, because he didn't know exactly what Asher would need; but he watched his breathing as his chest stopped moving so rapidly and became slow and even. The alpha helped him fold up his second easel, smaller than the one that took up the corner of his loft.
It took several trips to get all the art supplies down into the car, and finally all that was left was to take some canvases from the stack of blank ones leaned against the wall. They took a few from the stack, some large, some small, and with that, Asher turned off all the lights in his loft, locked the sliding door and followed Sebastian out.
As soon as Asher was inside the car, the alpha took the blanket he’d brought from his bed, heavy with his own scent, and wrapped the omega up in it, until Asher was just a head poking out from a pile of fluffy sandalwood and citrus scented blanket. His makeup was still smeared and smudged from crying, but Sebastian thought he was still the most beautiful thing in the world. He petted the side of his face very gently and leaned into the car to kiss his lips. Asher hummed softly, a sound of contentment before the alpha nuzzled him and closed the door, heading over to get in the driver’s seat. A small, pale hand wiggled out of the blanket and Sebastian held it, bringing it up to his lips to kiss his knuckles.
“Alright Baby, it's just you and me now. You can relax and I'll take care of everything from here.”
That offer sounded too good to be true, but Asher couldn't allow himself to turn it down. He'd already decided that he was giving Sebastian this chance to prove himself. He'd already given into his own desires to let the alpha care for him. If anyone could be trusted, it was Sebastian. So, without hesitation, he snuggled down into his blanket and rested his head against the glass of the passenger side window, one of his hands held in Sebastian’s larger one. It was quiet as they drove, Sebastian let soft music play in the background, just barely loud enough to be audible.
Asher wasn't sure when he'd fallen asleep, but before he knew it, he was dreaming. It was a dream, but also a memory. Something long past that he didn't even realize that he still remembered.
He is a child and the world is so big. Everything is larger than him, and he is small. In Asher’s arms is his trusty, fluffy teddy bear, Mr. Bear. He’s creeping down the long hallway, a familiar sight that tugs on the strings of his childhood memory. The dark paneled walls and the emerald green runner that trails down the center of the space, the eyes of expensive, stuffy paintings stare down at him with judgemental eyes. His feet are silent as he pads down the long corridor that leads from his childhood bedroom to his parents room. There are angry voices ahead, and he knows it’s his mom and dad fighting again.
It scares him when they fight, but he had a bad dream and he wants his mom or his dad to scent him and maybe stay with him in his little nest until he falls asleep again. As he creeps closer to the door ahead that’s barely cracked, their shouting voices get louder, and soon he can understand what they are saying.
“...didn't even want to have kids!” His father screams.
“Well, whether you want him or not, you have one!” His mother shouts back. “And if you plan to leave me for that slut, then I'm taking him with me! There's no way I'm letting that bitch have my child!”
He rounds the edge of the doorway, and peers into the room to see his mother and father standing on opposite sides of their large bed, shouting at each other. His mother's usually perfect hair is a mess of tangles. She’s only in her dressing gown and his father is in his button-up pajamas. He doesn’t mean to push the door open, but as his teddy bear presses against the wood it creaks and both his parents' heads whip to the side to see him standing there. His tummy is tight from fear, but he knows it’s not just from his nightmare.
“I-I'm sorry mommy... daddy. I had a bad dream…” He whispers, and he can’t explain the sense of dread that engulfs his little body, unfamiliar to his child’s understanding.
“Get back to your room!” His mother shouts at him, pointing toward the direction where Asher's room is and in his view, she’s as tall as a statue and twice as stony.
“But I…”
“You heard me young man! Go back to your room right now!”
“M-Mommy, I'm scared.”
“You heard your mother! Go back to your room now, unless you want a spanking!” His father shouts and Asher’s terror expands, he’s scared of him now too.
Asher doesn’t want a spanking and though he’s still scared, he runs back to his room, fleeing down the hallway. He curls up in his tiny nest with Mr. Bear, ignoring the crack in his closet where his child's mind provides the presence of a boogeyman. It’s dark and he’s scared, but he just watches the darkness, eyes scanning everything looking for the source of his unease.
Eventually his mother comes to his room and sits on the edge of his bed. She smells funny, like medicine, but he peers out of his piles of blankets at her and she smiles.
“Are you still scared?”
Asher shakes his head, wanting to be brave, scared of getting in trouble or getting a spanking. His mom climbs into his nest, her larger body curling around his small one as she scents the top of his head and presses a kiss there.
“Everything's going to be okay. Things are going to change, my baby but Mommy loves you. You know that, right?”
“Yes, Mommy.” Asher answers hesitantly.
Asher cuddles closer to her soft body. She smells like medicine, but still like mommy and he curls into her.
“Mommy is the only one who loves you, baby. Remember that.”
The omega woke crying and realized that what had woken him was Sebastian's hand, shaking his shoulder. He forced himself out of sleep, out of the memories that he wanted to forget, and into the present. He could feel the tears on his face and he wiped them away quickly
“Baby? Are you okay?”
Asher nodded as he was still wiping away the tears that he'd cried during his sleep.
“Yeah.”
“You were crying in your sleep?” Sebastian asked, looking concerned.
“It was just a bad dream.” Asher said quietly. “It's fine.”
“Baby…”
Sebastian’s voice was full of concern and the omega looked up through the windshield to avoid meeting Sebastian's eyes and realized that they were parked in the driveway of a large, elegant house. The dream was fresh and he needed a moment to process the feelings that felt like they were going to explode like a balloon.
“Are we here?”
Asher could practically feel the concern radiating off of Sebastian, but he didn't acknowledge it for the moment trying to get his own mind in order. But after a tense few seconds of silence, the alpha answered.
“Yeah Baby, we're here.”
Sebastian ached as he watched Asher sniffle and wipe at his eyes again. It hurt to see his omega in so much distress and be unable to do anything, and even worse not to know what was causing it. Driving to his beach house was a long, quiet trip once Asher fell asleep. The omega had already smelled sad, but with his face turned away, Sebastian hadn’t realized that he was crying until he’d gone to wake him up. His own feelings were nothing to him at the moment though, his entire focus was on Asher as he got out and walked around the car to help the omega out and guide him into the house.