Chapter 24 Almost
Chapter twenty-four
Almost
Shepherd Kingsley
I thought Jasmine was adorable over the phone, but she’s even cuter in person.
I don’t know if she would appreciate that sentiment, but I can’t help thinking it.
Her oversized sweats, messy bun, and the pillow cradled in her arms make me want to draw her to me and hug her.
Or maybe I want to do that because of how she responded to my confession about Jason.
She made me feel seen, and when it came time for her to share, she didn’t pull away.
Instead, she closed the distance between us.
“If I get kicked off the team, I’m taking you down with me,” she says, breaking the ice and making me laugh.
“No one is getting kicked off the team.” I pause. “Hopefully.”
She rolls her eyes but comes closer to me anyway. I set up our little camp by pushing two armchairs that were across the room together. In between them is a small table where I set a few snacks I grabbed from the hotel store.
“Hopefully your chef palette can stomach some junk food,” I say when I see her studying the array.
“You bought all this?” she asks, eying the caramel chocolate bar before picking it up. “This is one of my favorites.”
I shrug. “I figured if we were going to keep baring our souls to one another, we needed sustenance.”
She laughs and sits down in one of the chairs, tucking her feet up under her. “Thank you. This means a lot,” she says softly, setting the chocolate bar on the arm of her chair. “I don’t know where to start.”
“You don’t have to share,” I tell her. No matter how much I crave to know more about her, her feeling comfortable with me is more important.. “We can just hang out.”
She shakes her head. “I want to. It’s just hard. I guess I could just rip the Band-Aid off.” It seems like she’s talking more to herself than me at this point.
She sucks in a breath, then lets it out in a whoosh. “My parents are dead.”
The statement rocks through me. It feels like I just got sacked. I stare down at the floor for a moment, processing her words.
“They died a few years ago, and after that, I went to live with my older sister, Dahlia. You’ve met her.”
I nod in acknowledgment of her statement, though my mind is still reeling. With how much Jasmine mentioned her family, I would have never thought her parents would be gone. I remember her mentioning that she wanted to be a chef to honor her mom, and my heart cracks at the recollection.
“Well, the first few months—really, a year—were rough. I fought against Dahlia being my guardian a lot. Finally, we had a breakdown moment, and I realized in my haze of grief I’d forgotten she lost her parents too.”
My throat grows tight. I can’t imagine that kind of pain.
“Over the years, Dahlia sacrificed everything to take care of me. She worked hard and scheduled her life around mine. When she met her now-husband, Levi, she finally started to do things for herself again. But even then, she couldn’t fully embrace her newlywed life because she was saddled with me.”
I see where her story is going, and I already hate it.
She shouldn’t feel like she owes a debt to her sister.
I’m certain Dahlia wouldn’t think that. All of the Carter/Holt family are the most selfless, loving people I’ve ever met.
They’re so close it makes me green with envy whenever I’m around them, because I never had that growing up. It was just me and Jason.
“When Dahlia joined the Carter family, she brought me with her. They’ve treated me like their own since the beginning.
” Jasmine’s smile is soft but pained. “Levi’s brother Grayson taught me chess and supported me training to make the Thrashers cheer team.
Bash and MJ paid for my apartment and pulled strings so I didn’t have to stay in a freshman dorm. They’ve given me so much.”
She pauses, and I can see in her eyes that she won’t make it through the next part alone. I reach over the table and hold my hand out. Her green eyes bounce from my hand to my face. Slowly, she slips her palm against mine. I squeeze her hand and she gives me a small smile.
“I have to pay them back. That’s my why. Dahlia is finally getting to live her own life, but it doesn’t make up for all that she lost. And everyone else invested time and money into me. I have to show them it wasn’t a waste.”
“Jasmine,” I say softly. “I don’t think that’s how you should look at things. They wouldn’t ask that of you.”
Pain mars her expression. “That’s exactly why I have to. They’d never take anything for themselves. This is how I can give back.”
I rub my thumb over the back of her hand. “Will it be enough?”
She looks down at our hands. “What do you mean?” She replies with a question.
“If you accomplish all of your goals, will it be enough? Or will there always be something else you could do to repay them?”
She stays silent for a while. I don’t fill the void, instead choosing to lose myself in the feel of her soft skin beneath my thumb.
“I don’t know,” she finally answers. “But I have to try. Isn’t it the same for you? The reporters might keep talking about Jason for the rest of your career. But you’re still going to try to beat his record.”
Her words hit home like a blow to the chest. She’s not wrong, and it makes my advice to her seem hypocritical.
“You’re right.” I sigh. “I guess I was hoping you’d be healthier than me.” I give her a wry smile.
“It’s not really hurting anyone, is it? We’re just going after our goals. Being ambitious.”
“That’s true,” I say. “Maybe we’re only a little toxic.”
She laughs. “I’ll take it.”
“Thanks for telling me some of your story,” I say with a smile.
Her hand squeezes mine, making my stomach swoop. “Thanks for listening.” She slips her hand away, and I instantly miss the contact. “I think I earned this chocolate.”
I chuckle. “You definitely did.” I clear my throat. “Is it hard to talk about your family? I was going to ask about you wanting to be a chef and how it relates to your mom, but I don’t want to make you share more if it’s too painful.”
She breaks off a square of chocolate with a small smile on her rosy lips. “It isn’t easy, but sometimes it’s nice. I don’t get to talk about her a lot without people looking at me in pity or acting awkward. So if you promise to do neither, I’ll tell you about her.”
I hold up three fingers. “I promise. Scout’s honor.”
She laughs around a bite of chocolate. Once she finishes the bite, she speaks again.
“My mom was a great cook. She traveled a lot and learned from every place she visited. She wasn’t the tourist type.
She loved to volunteer in the communities she visited, and whenever she did that, it usually led to her being invited to someone’s home for dinner. ”
I smile. “She sounds amazing.”
Jasmine’s whole demeanor is soft and open. The teasing, feisty side of her is fun, but getting to see her like this is something else entirely. Something that makes my heart race.
“She was. My dad said she was a mom to everyone she met, even people older than her. She was magic in the kitchen, too. I’ve never seen anyone who could combine flavors the way she did. I try, but I don’t think I’ll ever come close.”
“Yours is phenomenal. I’m sure she’d be proud.”
Jasmine smiles. “She would be, but she was always proud of me. So was my dad. Dahlia took after him and became a therapist. They were close because of that, and my mom and I had our own special thing in the kitchen. Though, we were all pretty tight-knit.”
I don’t say anything to that, because I don’t know what it’s like. Besides, I already shared enough tonight. If I told Jasmine anything else, she might get overwhelmed and bolt.
“That’s really cool that you each took after them,” I say instead.
“Thanks,” she replies before taking another bite of chocolate. Some of it smears in the corner of her mouth.
“You’ve got a little chocolate.” I gesture to the coordinating side of my mouth. She tries to get it but smears it instead. I chuckle at the endearing sight. “Here, I can help.”
Without thinking, I reach across and brush the pad of my thumb along the corner of her mouth.
The chocolate comes off, but I freeze when I realize what I’ve done.
Her green eyes are wide as they stare into mine, but she doesn’t push me away.
Blood rushes in my ears. Everything I told her about my plans for the future goes up in smoke at the prospect of kissing her.
Who needs football when she’s right here?
I lean in ever so slightly. Jasmine’s warm breath caresses my skin. I’m about to close the distance when the door opens. We both jerk back in sync, likely looking ultrasuspicious. A man I don’t recognize pokes his head in.
“Jolene?” he calls out, then looks at us. “Have you guys seen a woman named Jolene in here?”
We shake our heads. The man sighs and leaves again. My chest feels like a drumline has taken up residence behind my sternum. I almost kissed Jasmine. I glance at her, but she’s looking at the ground.
“It’s getting late—” I say at the same time she says, “I should probably go to bed.”
We both let out a nervous laugh.
“I’ll see you in class next week?” I ask.
She nods, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “Yeah, see you then.”
I stand and shove my hands in my pockets.
A part of me wants to hug her after all she shared, but that feels like a bad idea after what just happened.
If the person who walked in on us had been someone we knew, there’s no way we could have made them believe anything other than the truth.
I was going to kiss Jasmine Chamberlain. And she was going to let me.