Chapter 25 Vulnerable
Chapter twenty-five
Vulnerable
Jasmine Chamberlain
“I almost kissed Shepherd Kingsley,” I blurt from my spot on the couch.
The girls freeze in their individual activities.
Aurora is stretching on the floor, her insanely long legs stretched into an oversplit I will only ever dream of accomplishing.
Marigold has been marking through a physical copy of her latest article with a bright orange pen in solidarity of Saylor’s hatred of the color.
Saylor herself is in her usual study position on the floor surrounded by organized piles of color-coded notecards and stacks of tabbed textbooks.
I was doing homework for one of my business classes, but ever since Saturday, all I can think about is how close I got to kissing Shepherd. It’s now Monday night, and the first time all of us girls have been in one room since then.
“What?!” Saylor screeches, dropping her pink highlighter. “When? Where?”
“How? Why? Who?” Marigold adds wryly. When we all stare at her in confusion, she elaborates. “That’s the journalistic six. You ask all those questions as a starting point for a great story. Who, what, when, where, why, how.”
Saylor picks up her highlighter and points it at Marigold. “I like that. Let’s use it. We know who, and my what was more shock than an actual question. So, start with when.”
I laugh. “Okay, it was Saturday night, after the game.”
“You mean last game? After you got tackled?” Marigold asks.
“That’s not a part of the questions,” Saylor says.
Marigold gives her a dry look. “A good journalist clarifies.”
“Well, your clarification is making her take longer to get to the kissing part.”
Aurora laughs, which gets me laughing too.
“Yes, it was after the last game. As for where…we snuck out of our rooms and met up in the business center.”
Saylor sucks in a dramatic gasp. Aurora raises her brows and says nothing, while Marigold smirks.
“Why?” Marigold keeps her question simple, giving Saylor a pointed look. Saylor just grins.
“Both of our roommates were gone, so he called to talk.” All of the girls’ eyes widen at this. “And then we got to sharing deeper stuff, so we thought it was better to meet in person.”
“That’s so romantic,” Saylor dreamily whispers.
I shake my head. “No, it was just friendly.”
“Yes, because friends kiss all the time,” Marigold deadpans.
“We didn’t kiss,” I defend. “It was an almost kiss.”
“How?” Saylor asks, finishing the six questions.
I bite my lip as I recall how Shepherd’s thumb grazed the corner of my mouth. The heat in his gaze when he paused. The slight tilt of his head when I didn’t move or protest. If we hadn’t been interrupted, I’m certain we would have kissed. And I have no idea what I would have done after if we had.
“He was wiping something from my face, and then it looked like he was going to kiss me, but I was probably imagining it,” I say quickly, not wanting to believe it myself. “Then someone walked in and interrupted us.”
“Did you get in trouble?” Aurora asks, her first contribution to the conversation beyond facial expressions and laughter.
I shake my head. “No, it wasn’t anyone we knew. I jumped up and left right after.”
“Have you talked since then?” Marigold asks.
“Not really? I mean, we had class today, but I came in right as it started and left when it ended. Neither of us has texted each other. Everything feels too weird.”
“Did you want him to kiss you?” Saylor asks.
I cover my face. “I don’t know,” I say through my hands.
“That’s a yes,” Marigold concludes.
“No, it’s not,” I protest, letting my hands fall into my lap. “I don’t know how to feel.”
“You don’t know how to feel about what comes after. I’d bet my tiny bank account that you wanted that kiss. I heard you two flirting.”
I gape. “We were not flirting! And you shouldn’t eavesdrop.”
“I’m a journalist. It’s in my blood.”
I grab a pillow from beside me and chuck it at Marigold. It hits her in the face, then drops onto her papers. She stares at me for a second before we all burst into laughter.
Once our giggles subside, Saylor gives me a thoughtful look. “What scares you about liking him?” she asks.
I toy with the edge of my blanket, uncomfortable with the sudden shift in mood. “I already have one therapist in my life—my sister—I don’t need another,” I grumble, but it doesn’t faze her.
“I know we’ve all got histories that we haven’t shared yet,” Saylor says, and the other two girls look away, proving she’s right. “But if we’re going to be best friends like you said you wanted, we have to talk eventually.”
I press my lips together. What she’s saying is true, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
Saylor lets out a sigh. “Fine, I’ll go first. My dad left my family when I was eight. He said he was tired of being tied down and wanted to travel and see the world. I haven’t seen him since.”
“That’s terrible, Saylor,” I say. “I’m sorry you went through that.”
She shrugs. “It hurt, but I’m going to build my own family now. That’s what I’m working toward.”
Her why. She’s working herself to the bone and searching for a husband because she wants to reclaim what she lost. My throat tightens. I can relate to that. If I can prove myself, then I’ll have a place in my new family that feels as secure as the one I had in the past.
“Jameson and I were best friends,” Marigold admits in the heavy silence.
“We’ve known each other since elementary school.
I did everything with him. All my memories are filled with him.
When it came time to apply for college, we were both so excited to have gotten into our dream school.
Then we found out the paper only took one summer internship.
” She stares down at her article, not daring to look at us.
“We agreed that neither of us would apply. We competed a lot in school, but this was too important to risk our friendship over.”
“He applied anyway,” I say, remembering her explanation of what happened.
She nods. “I trusted him, and he betrayed me.”
“He’s definitely going on my hit list,” Saylor says, breaking the tension by making us laugh.
I glance at Aurora, wondering if she’ll share, or if I’ll have to next. She sighs and brings her knees to her chest.
“I don’t do emotions, in case you couldn’t tell.
” We all stay silent, and she lets out a soft laugh.
“You don’t have to agree, I know. I guess sometimes I worry that because I’m not as expressive, people will give up on being around me.
That you guys will kick me out because I’m not bouncy or funny. ”
“That’s ridiculous,” Marigold says in her straightforward way. “We like you just as you are. Personally, I think if we didn’t have you, the apartment would go up in flames.”
Aurora laughs. “What does that mean?”
“You balance us out,” I explain, and Marigold nods.
“If you say so,” Aurora sounds hesitant.
“We do,” Saylor says matter-of-factly, then turns to me. “Your turn. You can’t avoid it now.”
She’s right, more than she probably realizes. Vulnerability invites vulnerability.
“Long story short: my parents are dead,” I start.
A surprised laugh bursts out of Marigold, who immediately cringes afterward. “I’m sorry, that just caught me off guard.”
I wave a hand. “It’s fine. I just figured it would be easier to get that part over with so we can get back to the whole kissing Shepherd thing. It’s not super fun for me to talk about.” My stomach clenches with nerves.
“Share as much or as little as you want,” Saylor says. “We’re here for you.”
I shoot her a grateful smile. “Basically, that terrible plot twist makes me a little hesitant when it comes to relationships. My sister fell in love, and she makes it look amazing, but…”
“The idea of losing someone is scary,” Saylor fills in the blanks. I nod. “I know my dad didn’t die, but his leaving left me feeling similar. That’s why I want to find the perfect person. Someone who won’t leave.”
Our confessions settle like puzzle pieces. They click together and create a clearer picture of who we are and who we will be as friends.
“There’s a risk involved with opening yourself up,” Marigold adds to the conversation.
“You don’t want people to see who you are, then leave,” Aurora chimes in.
I let out a shaky breath. “Pretty much.”
Silence envelops the room. Our words hang in the air, creating a thick blanket of tension. Marigold takes a knife to it. “Well, aren’t we just a bunch of well-adjusted humans?”
Laughter bubbles up in my chest, and the other girls join in. Soon enough I’m laughing so hard tears stream down my face. Sharing my struggles with Shepherd and then with my friends has me feeling lighter than I have in a long time.
I brush away my tears. “Thanks for talking things out with me. I don’t know what to do still, but at least I know I’m not alone.”
Each of them gives me a smile that lets me know they’re not going anywhere.
“Group hug?” Saylor suggests.
“I don’t know about that—” Aurora is cut off when Saylor tackles her to the floor.
I look at Marigold, who grins and shrugs. We jump up from the couch and pile onto Aurora.
“You’re going to suffocate me,” Aurora groans while we laugh.
“You love us,” Saylor says confidently.
“Whatever,” Aurora grumbles, but through the tangle of limbs and hair I can see her smiling.
We may not be the most well-adjusted group, but I think we’ll be all right. We’ve got each other, after all.