Chapter Fifteen
As soon as the door closed behind her, Elaina let out the breath she was holding and slid down the wall of the house.
Her eyes were glued to the wall as if she could see Running Wolf through it.
Jessica sighed and she pulled away from her breast. Elaina covered up and patted the child’s back.
She gently settled on the bed and sighed.
Elaina shut her eyes, trying to calm her warring thoughts.
“Elaina, Elaina, my darling,” James winked as he tugged on the sleeve of her gown.
Elaina rolled her eyes and turned her back on him. She crossed her arms and refused to look at him. James walked around so that he was facing her. He poked her cheek gently and said, “You know I love you, my dear. Don’t be mad at me.”
“Why won’t I be mad at you? You apologize for something and then, you go ahead and do another. Why are you so stubborn, James?”
James clasped his hands around hers and kissed her knuckles, “You have my word this time, my dear. I will do better. I promise you I will. I really won’t take the love you have for me for granted. Believe me, Elaina.”
“Do you ever remember your apologies? This was the exact speech you used last time you apologized,” Elaina hissed. She went to storm away but he held her back gently.
James placed his hands on her shoulders and said, “I know that you are so much better than me, my dear. I know you deserve more than me. I know you deserve a man who is strong, amazing, loyal and hardworking. You are a treasure and you deserve the best man out there, Elaina. I know I am not good enough for you right now, but I promise you, Elaina, I will be the best man I can be for you. You have my word. I love you, Elaina, and I will do my absolute best to be deserving of you, my love. You have my word.”
Elaina sighed as she let him hug her. James and his sweet words.
He always had a way of making her feel better.
If they had been born in another period, just maybe he would have been able to make a career of his sweet tongue and words.
Who knew what the future held? No one knew anything about the years that were coming.
Just maybe, they would be able to meet up with the changes that were approaching them.
“What are you thinking of, my love?” James asked as they broke their embrace. Elaina shook her head as she said,
“Nothing much. I’m just thinking of what the future holds for us.”
“It holds so much, my love. Trust me, the future is pregnant with beautiful promises.” James nodded his head eagerly.
“You seem so sure of yourself,” Elaina quirked a brow.
“Of course I am. I am going to have you in my life. With you by my side, I know that I can do anything. Let’s get married, Elaina my love.”
Elaina rolled her eyes, “Let’s be practical, James. On our own, we are barely making ends meet. How do you think we will be able to survive if we choose to get married and raise a family?”
“It is possible, Elaina, believe me, it is. I am going to take care of you and our children yet unborn. Trust me, Elaina. You have my word that I will not disappoint you. I will neither let you sweat nor cry out in pain.”
Elaina placed reassuring hands on James’ shoulder, “I understand you, James, believe me, I do. I want to marry you of course, one day. But that day is not now. We still have to work hard to build our respective lives. Then, we can get married.”
“But I want to be with you forever, my love. I want our forever to start from now. I do not want us to wait any longer. We have both lost so many people that were dear to us and we know that life is too short to postpone what we can do today. Who knows what tomorrow holds? Who knows what will become of you or me? Let’s take advantage of what we have now, my love. Let’s be happy with each other.”
“James...” she protested but he took her hand in his and squeezed it.
“I am going to make you a very happy woman and make sure that you never regret agreeing to be mine. You have my word, Elaina. All we need is each other so let’s agree to be there for one another now.
Forget what others will say. Yes, I know that they will all wag their tongues, especially that friend of yours who does not like me one bit, Leila.
Nonetheless, I do not care what she thinks, I do not care what anyone else thinks.
The only one I care about is you, and what you think.
” James looked deeply into her eyes and said, “If you say yes, if you say that it is okay for us to do this, that will be all that matters. You are all that matters to me, my love, no one else but you.”
Elaina blinked back tears, “You really want us to get married, James? Are you sure about this?”
“More sure than I have been about anything in my life, Elaina. I want to be your family and I want you to be mine. I want us to start a family together. We have both lost so much. It is time for us to be happy together. We are going to have a very large family. We will love our children a lot and they are also going to love each other very much.”
Through her tears, Elaina chuckled, “It seems you have everything figured out.”
“Well… almost everything. I still don’t have you. You have not agreed to this union yet, my darling. So, what do you say? Will you get married to this dashing young man who loves you more than anything else in this whole wide world?”
Elaina laughed and she nodded, “Sure, my love. Why not? Let’s get married and make some beautiful babies!”
“Yes!” James screamed. He lifted her and twirled her around.
Elaina laughed harder as she spun around.
He did not care who heard their excitement and she did not care at all.
The only thing that she cared about in that moment was the fact that the man that she loved her too.
That was all that mattered after all, to love and be loved.
As she slept, her memories of the time past became her dreams and tears rolled down Elaina’s cheeks.
*
Elaina sighed as her eyes flitted over the mess before her.
One side of the wall of the shed that served as the kitchen had fallen in some time in the night when she had been trying to get some sleep.
As usual, her dreams had been plagued with her memories and she had barely gotten any rest. Her eyes took in the damage and she ran a hand through her hair tiredly.
The old residence had been left to rot for too long.
It needed a lot of work to bring it up to par.
Still, she could not complain. She was truly grateful for what they had.
They had a roof over their heads and their own space.
She was pretty sure it was much more than what they would have when they left this place.
She shuddered at the thought of leaving the village.
As she settled down to get some work done, she realized that she divided.
There were two reasons she did not want to leave the village yet.
The first was of course their safety. She was more than sure that their lives was still at risk.
And the second, she swallowed hard, the second was that she was really starting to like the village a lot.
The air was very clean and fresh and she loved being so close to nature.
She heard a sound at the front of the shack and her head flew up.
Elaina felt a pounding in her chest at the sight of Running Wolf at the open of the dirt floor of the yard.
Running Wolf raised his hand in a wave, and he ran the other through his hair as he approached her.
The pounding of her heart increased as he got closer to her.
His smile widened and the corner of his eyes crinkled.
“Hello, Elaina,” his smile deepened and Elaina felt like the wind was knocked out of her.
Sure... it’s because of the village and the fresh air you want to stay here, sure… that is the reason. Let us pretend it is the reason, a voice said in her head. Elaina shook her head as she tried to suppress the voice. She put on a nervous smile and looked up at him.
“Hi, Running Wolf. It’s good to see you here. I hope… uh… you had a good night...”
“It was, thank you very much, Elaina.”
His eyes widened as he realized the mess that was between them. He quickly ran to her side, took her hand and helped her up, “You should be careful. You can get hurt among this rubble.”
Elaina nodded, unable to ignore the tingling in her toes and the feel of his hand in hers. I want to be your family and I want you to be mine, James’ words resounded in her head and forcing a smile, she gently pulled away from him.
“I believe it collapsed during the night. Good thing I was not here when it did. What would poor Jess do without her parents?” She shuddered at the thought.
She looked up and saw that Running Wolf was looking at her intently. She tilted her head, “What? Is there something on my face?”
He smiled and shook his head, “No, nothing. It’s a good thing this didn’t come crashing down on you, yes. I can work on this and make it good as new.”
He turned to the side, taking in the extent of the damage.
“What aren’t you telling me, Running Wolf?” Elaina leaned toward him. He turned to her just then and she gulped as their faces were only inches from each other. Elaina jerked away and nervously brushed her hand through her hair, “So… uh... the damage? How long will it take to handle it all?”
His eyes had taken on the intent and heated look again. Elaina felt warm all over her body. Running Wolf nodded as he said, “It should take about a day to repair it. And it would need a little bit more to dry.”
“I see...” Elaina nodded slowly. So, he would be in her space for an entire day. She gulped and turned to him. She rapped, “You know what? You really do not need to bother yourself with this. I will be able to handle it. It should not be much work. Thanks so much for your offer, Running Wolf.”
“And what are you going to do about the baby?” he quirked a perfect brown brow.
“The baby?” Elaina scratched her head, puzzled.
He chuckled and placing each of his hands on her shoulders, he gently steered her to face the large shack where her daughter was sleeping peacefully.
Leaning close, he said close to her ears, “Little Jessica. Are you going to leave her unattended for that long? When you can easily take up my offer?”
“Right… you… uh… have a point… it… seems… uh… I mean… your point is good...” Elaina stuttered.
His overwhelming presence behind her and his touch on her shoulders was messing with her abilities to talk.
Think of James, James, she begged her brain but her brain was already overwhelmed by Running Wolf.
“Your hair smells nice. How do you do it?” Running Wolf asked softly.
“Uh… hibiscus leaves. They… work really well...” she blurted out. There was nothing else that she could do at that very moment but bask in his presence. She found herself wishing he would stay by her side longer.
He pulled away just then and Elaina immediately missed him, “I should get started on it right now. The sooner I start, the sooner I will be done with it.”
“Right... thanks… Running Wolf,” Not turning around, so he would not see the blush that had crept all the way up her neck, Elaina hurried off to the shack where her daughter lay.
She literally collapsed beside her child and muttered, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with these feelings, Jessica. What does mother do?”
Jessica mumbled in her sleep. Her long eyelashes fluttered for a moment, and then, she settled down. Elaina sighed and she patted her daughter gently.
“You are right, my dear. Mother should not stress you with her problems. I should figure out the way I am feeling on my own, right?”
Elaina stared at her daughter with love-filled eyes.
I don’t want to forget your father, my love.
He was the first man I ever loved. it’s just, I cannot explain these overwhelming feelings I have when I am around Running Wolf or when I think about him.
I thought I would never feel what I felt for your father for anyone else.
I thought I would never care as much for anyone other than him, but now, I honestly am so very confused, my baby.
Mother has no idea what to think or how to feel. What do I do, my dear? What do I do?
Elaina turned to her side so she could watch the rise and fall of her daughter’s chest as she slept.
Is it gratitude? Maybe it is just gratitude.
After all, he is the one I am most grateful to in this world.
He has been amazing and has helped in more ways than anyone has ever helped us.
Of course it is normal to feel this much gratitude to him.
Sure, that’s it, it’s gratitude. That is the only thing I feel for him.
Nothing more and nothing less, Elaina concluded with a slow nod.
Feeling more confident, she planted a kiss on her daughter’s cheek and headed out of the shack.
She froze in her tracks at the sight of Running Wolf working on the cooking shed.
His hands were covered with mud as he plastered the wall carefully.
How can a man with such large hands work so delicately?
That was the thought that ran through Elaina’s head.
Her eyes flitted over his bare chest, taking in every single chiseled part.
He looked up just then and smiled at her.
What would it be like to be pulled into those arms in a tight embrace?
What would it be like to run my hands over him?
To be kissed by him? Elaina gulped and she backed away.
She stumbled and he stood up to run to her.
She quickly picked herself up and slipped into the shack, shutting the door behind her immediately.
No way was this gratitude she was feeling.
She actually wanted the man. Oh crap, what on earth is wrong with me? Elaina groaned.
She buried her head in a deerskin and groaned louder.