Chapter 39
His mouth on mine felt like an inferno. He was quick and needy pulling me close to him. His hands on my hair should have hurt but it didn't instead it made me want to flip but I reigned myself.
"Let's take this slow Kayde. Like you said I'm here and you are here. Let me make you mine, " I whispered.
"I'm tired of being treated like I'm fragile. Every single time you and I end up intimate you treat me like I might break. I watched you and Vance Marchetti and it was different. It felt like you wanted to devour him. Am I not worthy of your passion," he asked disappointment lacing his voice.
Of course he would think that way. Marchetti is an aggressive man who knew exactly what he wanted the detective might still not understand where it would be leading to.
"Look at me Williams and let me not hear that man's name on your lips again.
I'll say this only once and I will not repeat myself again.
He means nothing to me. I was drunk and I wanted to get rid of an itch.
You are everything to me. I want to take this slow so that when I wake up from this dream I will still feel you in every inch of my skin.
You are special and I do not want to hurt you. Have you been with anyone else before in this manner?"I gently asked.
His eyes glittered with what I prayed was anticipation and not fear. Any second guessing from him and I would back out. I would never have the man I love look at me with disgust after the most beautiful moment in my life.
"No. I've only made out with some in the club but never have we gone the full way," he answered. His words sounded defeated and I felt them even when he tried to hide it.
I stepped away from him giving the both of us space for some mental clarity. His shoulders dropped his eyes not meeting mine and I could tell he thought this was another rejection. He was gravely mistaken.
"Are you sure about all this Kayde. Say the word and we will act as if this never happened?" I questioned.
"If you want to reject me just go ahead and do it. There is no need for you to keep asking me this question again and again. If you do not want me just say it. I told you I was sure and I am sure. If you are not interested just say so," he walked away and sat on the dinning chair.
"Okay then. Have the soup I made. After you finish you can freshen up in the bathroom on your left then meet me upstairs after half an hour,"I said. I kissed him on the forehead pushing the soup towards him and made my way upstairs.
I had never been as anxious as I felt at that moment.
I took the stairs deliberately trying to stay calm.
I wouldn't let him see how nervous I actually was.
This wasn't my first rodeo but this was the first time with a man I truly loved who would let me be his first. Inside the room I changed the sheets into a velvet color. I lit matching scented candles around.
I played soft music on the stereo to calm my nerves.
After about twenty minutes or so of tidying up I freshened up quickly with enough time to have Kayde come in.
The reason I left him on his own was to give him a chance to back out.
All he had to do was not come upstairs and remain in the bedroom below and his choice would have been made.
He had a choice all he had to do was make it. Whatever decision he made I would stand by it wholeheartedly and respect it. If he had a change of mind he would never get to find out what I did with the room no embarrassment would be on my side.
I paced up and down the room waiting until I heard a small knock on the door.
I opened it to find him standing with his hair still wet.
I let him come in and led him towards the bed shutting the door behind us.
He didn't say anything just let me lead him.
I took a towel and started wiping his hair making it completely dry.
It wouldn't help with his flu if he slept with wet hair.
He wore a white pair of silk pajamas contrary to the green ones I had changed for him before.
I still had a towel wrapped around my waist when he reached for it letting my erection spring free.
He didn't flinch or shy away from it just let his hand lightly touch it.
I took his hand away focusing on taking off the silk shirt from him.
His chest was smooth packed with the build of a man who takes his workouts seriously.
I let his pants fall on the floor and he stood there with his beautiful body.
I took a minute to take a good look at him to ensure the moment lasted forever.
I put my hand on the small of his back lifting him off his feet and had his legs wrapped around my waist.
Our tongues found each other in sync. The music in the background made the moment ethereal as his hands went on my chest making a map of me. I laid him gently on the silk sheets never breaking the kiss even for a moment.
My tongue and teeth made tattoos on his milky skin which would last for days.
He was mine and the world ought to know it.
The sounds coming from him made me forget every single worry there was on my mind.
Who cared about Valentina or Marchetti or the prime minister.
All that mattered was him. If this was the last time we would be this close to each other I would rather spend it wearing him like a second skin.
I felt him request for control and I willingly obliged. He flipped me below him mounting me with peppering kisses all over my skin. I could feel myself on the verge of becoming undone and he hadn't touched me there yet.
"Let me ride you," he said.
My erection became tighter with his words knowing the pleasure it would bring to me. Instead I handed him the bottle and there was that carnal look in his eyes of pure desire.
"Not yet Williams. I want you inside me." His eyes widened all logic disappearing.
"Excuse me. I thought...you... Have you ever let anyone do this to you?" He hesitated.
"No. Only you can have me, in every single way there is."
His eyes glittered under the dim candle lights and I could see the tears coming. "Don't you dare shed any tears right now. Unless they are because we are drowning in the abyss of passion I do not want to see you cry,"I said my hands capping his cheeks.
"Do it Detective I have faith in you."
His lips met mine once again no words spoken then he undid the bottle pouring the liquid in his hands. His hands slowly found their way to my entrance yet no fear was within me. The liquid was cool on my skin but a fire ignited when one finger started pumping in and out of me.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
I wanted to laugh but it would deter him and so I took him by hand catching him by surprise and I put him towards my entrance.
"Just do it,"I seduced kissing him on the neck. His intrusion was painful at the beginning but my eyes met his and I savoured the emotions.
"I love you Kayde," I confessed.
His movement stopped and I raised my hips meeting him halfway and he moaned. I didn't give him time to think and I let my hips move to meet him until he began the rhythm himself.
"I still can't believe you..."
"What that I have given myself to the man I love. Believe it detective and I will do it again and again. This is not a transaction or business. I am yours as much as you are mine. There is no in between. Now enough of the talking and make me yours Williams."
He found a tempo to match the rhythm of the music in the background and he made love to me for the first time and I let him. Even as we came undone together and he collapsed on me after going at it again and again. I held him there not letting him out.
"Am I not hurting you," he said.
"No I want you inside still while I hold you like this,"I answered.
"Ivan ... I. .."
"Get some sleep Williams. You need rest."
Placing a kiss on his forehead his eyelids shattered close. I knew what he wanted to say and I would have loved to hear it but it wasn't time yet.
"I love you so much Kayde Williams. Always and forever," I whispered closing my eyes with Lady Gaga's and Bruno Mars' masterpiece 'Die with a smile.
"If the world was ending I'd wanna be next to you and die with a smile."