Chapter 41
My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness in the room his hand wrapped around my waist. I had this burning urge to cry.
He was perfect and so much more. Who cared if my father wouldn't approve of him and that's why I had to do what I had to do.
I wanted to head out before he woke up but I figured if I left him after what happened between us the previous night I would never manage to win him back. I had to wait.
I reached for my phone doing everything not to wake him my efforts proving futile as he pulled me to him tighter and all thoughts of my phone were abandoned.
His breathing was soft against my hair, my head on his chest. His heartbeat fell into a beautiful rhythm his whole presence enveloping me.
The smell of him was an intoxication my nose delighted in.
My thoughts went back to the previous night and I could feel him against me.
His gorgeous stormy eyes worshipped me every time he met me thrust by thrust.
"Easy there detective," he groaned.
His words in my ears not realizing my erection was touching his groin. He flipped me under him his eyes wide open staring back at mine.
"Good morning Kay," he whispered. His morning voice was sexy doing wonders in my stomach.
"Good morning Ivan,"I replied.
My eyes watered just staring back at him. The affection in his eyes was so tangible that whatever I was about to do felt so wrong. I didn't want to hurt him but there was no other choice.
"Are you okay? Do you feel exhausted? Did I tire you?" He asked.
My cheeks burned hot I hid in his chest. How could he talk about such matters openly. I've been intimate with people before but no one made me feel like he did.
"You don't have to be shy or embarrassed about what happened between us. I wanted it and I believe so did you. All I want to know is if you are doing okay?" He urged gently.
The tears which I had been holding on to betrayed me. I felt his hands on my face wiping them away. Kisses on my eyes trailing down my face and when he finally met my lips. The sparks in my stomach explored my hands running through his hair.
Was this how people felt when they were intimate with people they were in love with. I almost paused to think about how I just admitted my feelings instead I got lost in the moment.
"No I'm not tired and I feel really good thank you for asking,"I answered catching my breath.
"Let me take care of you. I'll make you something for breakfast,"I said.
He didn't dispute me seemingly he was still in a sleepish state. I left him on the bed grabbing my phone and making my way downstairs to make him some juice and a sandwich. It was the only way I'd be able to leave without questions.
Moments before he gave me a way out the previous night came into mind.
He actually thought I'd chicken out. I loved him and maybe I wasn't ready to let him fully have me but I wanted him so much.
I was grateful he didn't push me instead he let me have him something a man of his caliber would never do.
Even as I crushed the sleeping pills in his apple juice my heart ached.
I knew him he wouldn't let me do what I wanted.
It was dangerous if we went to the lead Suarez gave the two of us.
What if things got out of hand and he didn't make it or if it was a trap.
I had my doubts, Suarez didn't like Ivan not even for one bit so maybe it might be a way of getting rid of him.
The chief had him work on the case with the prime minister after he took it from me.
Then all of a sudden he sent me a lead outside the city in order to leave Ivan alone in the city to set him up or attack him.
I knew how he worked. Suarez did everything to get what he wanted and his target was Ivan.
The only way to save him was to make sure no matter what happened he had to end up in one of his safe houses together with me while I worked on solving the case using Suarez's lead.
Things rolled out differently than I had planned since I got sick yet nothing was sidetracked.
Ivan took me to his safe house, check. We got intimate, not in the original plan but check.
Drug him and follow the lead making sure he is safe and sound ongoing but check.
I went through my phone confirming how far the lead was from the safe house.
Given the cabin was something only Ivan and maybe his right hand knew he was going to be safe for the next twenty-four hours.
Which was the perfect head start from the location I had given him.
I texted Suarez a reply letting him know I was almost there.
I had configured my phone's settings before we left the city to ensure no one was tracking me.
"In position,"he texted back.
His reply gave me a jolt of adrenaline to carry the tray upstairs with the sandwich and apple juice.
Ivan was awake sitting on the opposite side of the bed.
His back was turned away from me his muscles in full display.
I would have flipped the tray across the room and jumped him like a dog in heat but I had more urgent matters to take care of.
"Hey here is your breakfast," sitting next to him. His eyes did not meet mine for a minute or two with a little tension in the air. My heart hammered in my chest worried he had caught on to something. He winced a bit when he moved realization striking me.
"Did I hurt you?" I asked.
His cloudy eyes met mine a small smile playing on his lips. "No just a little sore nothing I can't handle. Besides I loved the feeling of you in me."
His words must have coated my cheeks red because he laughed. He took the juice I offered taking it down in one smooth gulp waving the sandwich away.
"I cannot eat in the morning. I'll have it a bit later."
He stood making his way to the bathroom and I followed him closely. I didn't want him collapsing there.
"Detective don't tell me you are ready for bathroom action," he teased. He was such a big flirt and he knew it.
"I just want us to freshen up together," I said leaning in to kiss him. His mouth met with mine and I let him take the lead. He kissed me while my hand turned on the shower. We didn't break the kiss even as I poured his shampoo in my hand and washed his hair.
We made out until the signs of the pills taking effect began. "I think we should lay down some more until noon then we can leave. It seems like I might have transmitted the flu to you."
He didn't argue much instead pecked me and let him lead us to bed when we were finally dry and clean. After five minutes of laying next to him he passed out. I kissed him on his forehead and made sure he was well covered and comfortable.
I collected all my things turned for the door and left. I couldn't dare look behind at the beautiful man who would probably never forgive me but what had to be done had to be done.
"I'm really sorry Ivan, I hope one day you'll understand."