Chapter Nine #2
“Where did you get this, Bella?” he demands, his voice as tight as a drum.
His response confirms what I suspected. The club isn’t a surprise to him, and he was aware I wasn’t supposed to know about it.
I don’t respond. Unsure how to. My cheeks flush with embarrassment.
“Sophie. What have you done?” Carlo’s stern voice begs.
“He’s having an affair,” I blurt out.
Carlo shrugs dismissively; it’s not unusual for Spencer.
“No, not like before. This one means something.”
The weight of his stare drains the energy from me.
“He’s been seeing the same woman for months.”
I catch the twitch in his jaw—a quiet giveaway. He already knows.
“Who is it, Carlo?”
He closes his eyes slowly and tilts his face up to the ceiling.
“I’ve told him to talk to you. He’s promised he will.”
I approach the table, gripping the solid timber, and lowering myself into the chair next to him, my heart hammering so hard it’s stealing the air from my lungs.
“Carlo,” I rasp, the word almost a plea. “I know your loyalty is to Spencer—I’m not asking you to betray that—but . . .”
I bite down on the swell of emotion threatening to break free, fighting to stay coherent.
“Every September, when the two of you go to the island for the anniversary of Chess’s death, he comes home riddled with shame.” His shoulders slump. “Once we overcome the weird guilt he experiences, it’s as if he’s lighter. Less restless. He becomes the old Spencer again for a few weeks.”
His eyes meet mine, and I swear I see a brief flash of hope.
“He needs us both, Carlo.”
With his jaw clenched, he sighs, glancing down at the back of his hand laid flat on the table.
“Sophie, this conversation is unfair.”
He lifts his chin, peering at me with angry disappointment etched all over his face. Unable to witness his reaction, I glance away to hide my distress.
“You’ve clearly been digging into Spencer’s life,” he says, each word tinged with disapproval.
I stretch my eyes wide. “If I want to find out what’s going on, what other choice do I have?”
He leans forward, the table creaking under his weight. Taking my hand in his, he tugs it gently to indicate he wants me nearer. I let him guide me onto his lap.
“I’m not promising to help you, but I’ll always be here to support you.” He pauses allowing his words to sink in. “My bigger concern is Spencer, he’s struggling Soph. He always has and I don’t know how to help him, I’ve tried for years.”
My concerned eyes find his.
“I need some time to get my head around all this but tell me what your plan is. If I can help, I’ll try,” he promises.
My shoulders drop, the tension in my chest unclenching a fraction.
I explain how I procured the information on the club and ask him if there’s any way of gaining access without involving him.
He studies me, swiping the hair back from my face.
“Can you wait?”
I shake my head.
“Just hold on and see if he’ll come to you. Let me see if I can encourage him to tell you what’s going on. Spencer adores you Sophie, I don’t think this is about you directly. It’s an old wound that’s never healed.”
I slump forward, pressing my fingertips against my closed eyes.
“It’s gone on too long. This is all I can think about day and night. I can’t eat or sleep. It’s not fair to Lily, Carlo.”
I sit back with a sigh. “Maybe it’s best if we just pack up and go.”
“No. No, don’t do that,” he says urgently.
Somehow, I’ve got to explain my logic. I stare at the wall, considering the best method.
“If I could witness the dynamic between them, perhaps things would be different. Maybe I’d understand better, but right now I’m lost.”
He squeezes me tighter. In his own way, offering me a gesture of support. I relax, allowing myself to lean into him.
“Recently he’s changed the rules without telling me, and I hate being the little woman at home, while he goes out fucking everything that moves.”
“Not everything,” he replies, one dark eyebrow arched pragmatically.
“We haven’t been together frequently since you found out you were pregnant with Lily. He’s doing everything he can to resist his desires.”
I cover my mouth with my fingers as Carlo looks deep into my eyes. I sense he hasn’t finished, but is uncertain whether he should share all this detail.
“When we’re together in Italy, we often try to comfort each other through our grief.”
A sad smile dances on my lips, pleased they still had each other during such difficult moments.
“Don’t blame yourself, Bella. Your actions triggered our separation, but Spencer’s always struggled with his attraction to me.”
His fingers drew a pattern on my forearm, and we both followed his movement.
“When we were all together, he could justify it to himself as being something we did for you.”
He lifted his shoulder in a half shrug.
“Once you ended it, and said what you did, you hit him in the jugular, but you didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know.”
I frown, unwilling to accept his explanation.
“But he loves being with you. He’s a different person with you,” I argue.
The rise of his eyebrows and dip of his chin was the only response Carlo gave me for a few moments.
“He enjoys observing me at the club.”
Whispering as if he thinks the walls might have ears, the depth of his tone coupled with the scene he’s describing sends a shot of desire straight to my core. I squirm on his lap.
“You like the idea of that, Bella?” he asks, sweeping my hair back from my face again affectionately.
“Hmm,” I hum. “It’s been a long time.”
His chest expands with an unusually large breath.
Pinning me with a harsh stare, he asks, “What’s going on, Soph?”
He narrows his eyes, peering at me with troubled confusion marring his handsome face. I suspect he’s trying to interpret my response before I’ve voiced it.
When I speak again, my words are so quiet they’re almost lost.
“I’ve never regretted losing anything so much in my whole life.” A sigh escapes my lips. “I miss you so much.”
The muscle in his jaw twitches again, telling me how hard he’s finding this conversation.
“The night he left me at the apartment after I announced my pregnancy, felt as if someone had scooped my heart out of my chest with a spoon. But it’s nothing like the pain I’m experiencing now.”
I choke out the words, squeezing them past the lump in my throat.
Carlo tilts his head back, groaning.
“I know what you’re going to say but from what I’ve seen, none of our lives have been the same since we split.”
He closes his eyes.
“Bella, put this into words of one syllable so that there’s no possible confusion. Are you asking me to fuck you?” he glares at me.
“Yes, in the club, in full sight of Spencer,” I reply, with confidence.
His eyes drop to my cleavage, heating me from within.
“Fuck, Bella,” he rasps.
I don’t speak, giving him a chance to think. His large fingers trace a pattern on my arm.
He pauses for so long that I almost feel compelled to fill the gap. I force myself to wait, focusing on the erratic pulse in my chest.
“I’m not sure if I can do this again.” He finally replies, studying me with an intensity that steals the breath from my lungs. “My heart was in danger, because I was falling for both of you, Bella. But it seems like every time I love, I lose. I don’t think I can go through a loss like that again.”
My lips twitch to kiss him, to show him my love for him. I push my fingers through the short hair on the back of his head; my gesture seems to relax him and makes his eyelids heavy.
“I understand, and I’m not suggesting this to cause you any further distress.
However, I think Spencer needs to see that I have no issue with you.
I’ve told him until I’m blue in the face.
My idea throws his sex games back at him, and hopefully gives us the opportunity to start a fresh.
It could be our last chance. I don’t want to lose either of you, Carlo. I love you.”
He runs the back of his finger down my cheek.
“If you leave Spencer, I’ll never be able to live with the guilt that I might have been able to help.”
I swallow the sob that’s threatening to burst out of my chest.
“Tell me your plan and give me some time to think about it. But know this; I won’t touch you without speaking to him first.”
I search between his eyes for any shred of understanding before bobbing my head gratefully and describing the scene I’ve been concocting.
“If we do this, it’s going to blow his mind, you know that don’t you?” he murmurs, once I’ve finished speaking.
My eyebrows clash together.
“Spencer won’t talk to me about his shame, but I sense his torment. I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he speaks.”
The delicate skin around my eyes tingles to hear of Spencer’s anguish from Carlo’s perspective.
“This needs to be done in a way that’s playful, without excluding him. Right now, Spencer won’t benefit from a punishment. He needs our help.”
A lump of emotion burns in my throat. My anger with Spencer for keeping this club a secret dissipates a little. Just because I’m angry doesn’t mean I want him to be so unhappy.
“What’s the solution, Carlo?”
His chocolate-brown eyes fix me with an intensity I haven’t experienced recently. My heart flutters and I have to concentrate hard to stop myself from panting.
“Right now, I’m going to call Travis and see if Spencer’s at the club. If I stay in this house too long, I’m going to flip you over and fuck you raw.”
My mouth instantly goes as dry as toast. He tilts his chin as if disciplining me for wishing he would.
“It’s wrong when emotions are running so high.”
I glance down, needing to break our connection.
“Bella, you need to be a hundred percent certain that this is what you want before poking this bear, because there’s a chance you could lose everything.”
I’ve been thinking about this for weeks and have never been more certain. Spencer needs a sharp shock to turn his head, but I also understand Carlo’s perspective and respect his loyalty to his friend.
“Okay,” I whisper, trying to wriggle off his lap.
He holds me firmly, silently protesting about my moving away.
“Whatever happens. Anything physical between us has to be short term,” Carlo says. “You always seemed to consider our relationship as part of an erotic game.”
His face is so serious, his eyes black and stern.
“It wasn’t a game to us, Bella; it was our life.”
He moves his hand to cup my face, giving me no choice but to meet his unrelenting stare.
“I will always love you, but there’s been enough miscommunication between the three of us, and I’m not willing to jeopardize my friendship with either of you over this.”
His words elevate my emotions just enough to smile. I am unsure how he accomplishes it, but gradually, he’s forgiving me.
“I respect that,” I whisper. “Carlo, I never want to lose you. And I hope you can find another way to get through to him.”
He kisses me; just a gentle press of lips, nothing more. But the stillness of it, the familiarity, hits deeper than I expect.