Chapter 4
JOSH
NOW
Melanie’s apartment stays dark for hours in the morning, so I don’t wake up until eleven a.m. I haven’t heard her moving around yet either, so I take my time getting up.
I still can’t believe I’m in her apartment, on her couch, after spending the night reconnecting with her.
I admittedly don’t want to say goodbye to her today, but I probably should find my own place to crash while I’m here.
I rub sleep out of my eyes and swing my feet around to the floor.
The couch wasn’t uncomfortable, but my back hurts this morning.
I guess that’s what happens when you’re over forty.
I pad into Melanie’s kitchen in search of the coffee pot.
The kitchen is tidy and smells like disinfectant.
There are no dirty dishes in the sink, and the counters are clear.
There’s a small café table with a vase of white carnations on it.
In the corner, a tiny five-cup coffee pot with a canister of coffee next to it.
Perfect for just one person. I find myself wondering about Melanie’s life.
I fully expected her to be married with a couple of kids. It seems to be just her here.
I fix the coffee and while it brews, look around the kitchen and living area.
She has various photos on the fridge. One catches my eye.
It’s Liam, with his arm around a brunette woman and two little girls on their laps.
There’s a photo of Melanie and her dad, and one of Melanie and Cara at junior prom.
A loud yawn interrupts my snooping as Melanie pads into the kitchen. “I thought I smelled coffee,” she murmurs, glancing at me shyly.
“I can’t wake up without it.” I shrug. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” Melanie steps closer to me so we’re face to face. “No one ever makes me coffee in the morning.” She puts her hands on my chest, smoothing out my rumpled T-shirt, a gesture that feels too familiar and yet, I wish she’d do it again. A chill shoots down my spine at the contact.
My breath catches but she doesn’t drop her hands. “Happy to be of service,” I murmur. Our eyes lock and for a moment, neither of us speaks.
Melanie shakes her head as if coming back to reality. She clears her throat. “So, what are your plans today?”
“Well, I haven’t been here since I was sixteen,” I say, walking over to the beeping coffee pot.
“Mugs are up there,” Melanie interrupts, gesturing to the cabinet in front of me.
I reach up and grab two mugs, pouring us each some coffee. She gets cream from the fridge and pours some in hers, then silently offers it to me.
I shake my head, slurping a small sip of my black coffee. “I was thinking about exploring a little. I’ve got to write this album, and I need to find the inspiration.” I pull out a chair at the table and sit down.
Melanie nods, taking the seat across from me. She nurses her coffee, sipping quietly.
“Do you have work today?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.
“Not until tonight,” Melanie says. “I’m hoping Andrew will close though. I’ve been there late too many times this week.”
I nod, understanding. “Would you—would you want to go out with me today? We can explore and catch up a little.”
Melanie looks up at me for the first time since sitting down. When our eyes meet, my chest tightens. What is this? Nostalgia. That’s all it is. She licks her lips.
“Sure,” she murmurs. “I’d like that.”
* * *
An hour later, we’re at the old railroad, gearing up for a pedal train tour.
It’s one of those things you don’t do when you’re a local.
I’ll admit though, I’m kind of excited. The train is smack dab in the middle of nature, and I’m hoping it brings me some clarity.
Things haven’t been easy lately. First, Kiera dumps me, then my band.
I honestly don’t blame any of them. Kiera told me I’m never focused on her, only my music and myself.
I’ll admit, I am introspective, but I always try to be a good boyfriend.
She was ready for things to be more serious, and I didn’t see that for us.
I had to keep pumping the brakes. I wasn’t crushed when she walked away, just a little bummed out.
I thought we were having fun. The sex was great; we always had things to talk about too.
But I keep things bottled up inside, it’s my armor, and she didn’t like that I always kept her at arm’s length.
My band breakup came out of left field though.
I had no idea they were so frustrated with me.
I always set out to be a solo artist, but I probably wasn’t clear about that when we started taking off.
They wanted a big tour, but I didn’t. I need a break from the limelight to do some soul searching.
I’m feeling lost and looking for my purpose.
It’s not their problem, but I thought they’d be understanding about no tour.
I apologized for the confusion, but they were still pretty pissed at me.
It’s my face the label wants though, and I can’t apologize for that.
I will, however, be groveling to said label when I can’t write this album.
That’s seeming more and more likely by the day.
Melanie and I step up to the check-in booth, and I dig out my wallet.
“Hello, folks,” the elderly man behind the window greets us. “Would you be interested in a double or a quad bike today?”
“Double, please.” I glance sideways at Melanie and offer her a hopeful smile. I hope she doesn’t mind that I’d prefer to hang with just her and not strangers on a weekend getaway.
She doesn’t flinch. Instead, she leans against the side of the booth, watching the swarms of tourists.
“That’ll be ninety dollars,” the man says. “Cash or card?”
I hand him my card, and Melanie grabs my forearm, her jaw falling open.
“Josh, we can split it.” She makes an attempt to tug my arm away, but the man already has my card.
“This is my adventure, Melanie, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to pay for it, okay?” I grin at her. She rolls her eyes but the corners of her mouth turn upward anyway, betraying her.
“Fine, but I’m buying lunch.” She juts out her lower lip, and the sight of it does something to my insides. I’m warm all over, despite the early summer breeze.
“Whatever.”
The man directs us to the old train platform where there are a couple of families and one other couple milling about. I’m surprised to find there is an empty bench.
Melanie sits first and I probably sit too close to her, but the feeling of her thigh grazing mine is too enticing for me to scoot over. She doesn’t seem to notice or hear the hammering that my heart is doing in my chest, so I don’t move and silently will myself to calm down.
“Are you nervous?” Melanie asks, jarring me out of my internal pep talk.
I laugh self-consciously. “No. I’m not nervous about the pedal train…” I hesitate, swallowing a knot in my throat before meeting her eyes. “It’s just…really great to see you.”
We’re interrupted before Melanie can reply.
“Okay, folks, if you’re in a two-person train, you can climb into one of these.” The attendant gestures to her right. “Quad trains, you can climb into these behind me.”
We walk over to the first two-seater, and I offer a hand to help Melanie off the platform and into her seat.
Once everyone is sitting, the attendant explains that the train tracks loop around through the marshes, the nature preserve, and over some water before coming back to this very spot.
“Now, you won’t move if you stop peddling, so make sure you keep your feet on the pedals.
On your cards, there is a list of animals, birds, and insects to spot on your journey.
Be sure to take in the sights. They are one of a kind!
Have fun and good luck!” she says, pacing the platform.
Before I have a chance to say anything else, Melanie starts pedaling, propelling us forward slowly. I join in, and we move in silence for a moment or two, both of us working hard to find a pace ahead of the others.
“I’m really happy to see you too, Josh,” Melanie says it so quietly, I almost don’t hear her.
When I glance her way, she’s smiling wistfully at me.
“It’s been too long,” I murmur in agreement. “You feel like home.”
Melanie smiles softly and shakes her head. “No, it’s not me that feels like home. It’s this place.” She opens her arms and gestures around us.
“I’m not so sure about that,” I say, shaking my head.
Melanie looks uncomfortable for just a second before pushing her sunglasses that are resting on top of her head down over her eyes. “So, what are your plans while you’re here?”
“You’re looking at them.” I laugh, scratching the back of my head. “Though I guess maybe after this, I should find somewhere to stay. You don’t want me all up in your space for another night.”
“I don’t know… If you don’t mind the couch, I kind of like the company.” A corner of her mouth tips upward, like she’s trying not to look so hopeful.
I’m not sure why but my chest tightens. I nod, looking at her. It’s a good thing we don’t have to steer this thing too much because neither one of us has looked at the track in front of us. “I guess, maybe for a couple of nights. We can see how things go.”
“Well, I have work tonight anyway so you won’t be in my way.” Melanie elbows me with a teasing grin.
“You don’t have a boyfriend that’s going to come knock me out when he realizes I’m staying with you, do you?” I tease.
Melanie shakes her head. “Sadly, no. It’s just me.” She looks like she wants to say something else but holds back.
“Okay.” I nod, convinced. “If you’re sure, Strawberry Girl.” I use my old nickname for her. It rolls off my tongue like no time has passed at all.
Her eyes light up and she smiles again, “I’m sure.”
Then
Josh,
I was thinking about how Cara keeps asking what’s going on with us. It’s nagging at me, so I started writing lyrics about it. I have never written my own songs but… I’ve been playing around with these words in my head. It needs a melody. I’m not sure how I’m hearing it. What do you think?
You’re a song I shouldn’t write,
A spark I shouldn’t light.
But every melody pulls me in,
Like the way you smile when you begin.
It’s wrong, it’s right, it’s something new,
I don’t know the notes, but I know you.
We keep it quiet, keep it cool,
But every note bends the rules.
If you knew what I felt inside,
Would you stay, or would you hide?
It needs more though. Want to work on it with me? Also…don’t show anyone!!
Melanie
Mel,
This is so good. Are you in my head? For real, I feel that so hard. I love it. Let’s definitely work on a tune today. I’ll try to think of some more words in the meantime. By the way, love the highlights you got. I’m going to start calling you Strawberry Girl.
J