Chapter 26 Josh
JOSH
For the next few days, Melanie is in and out of sleep. She doesn’t move from the bedroom, except to use the bathroom and then she falls back into bed. On day four, her fever breaks. She’s so relieved she calls for me.
“I’m so sweaty,” she says from the bed.
I’m lingering in the doorway, eyeing her carefully. “That usually means your fever has broken. Did you take any meds yet today?”
Melanie shakes her head. “No, I just woke up in a cold sweat. Maybe I’m on the other side of this thing.” The first genuine smile I’ve seen from her in days slowly spreads across her face, and she pats the bed next to her.
I hesitate but then cautiously move to the other side and sit down.
“I’ve missed you,” she murmurs, reaching for my hand.
I sniff the air. “Maybe we should open some windows in here.”
Melanie frowns. “It’s like ninety degrees outside this week.”
I roll my lips over my teeth thoughtfully. “Okay…would you be…opposed to a shower?” I tread lightly. “Now that your temp has broken?”
Melanie feigns offense. “Are you trying to say I smell?” She lifts her arm and sniffs herself. “I mean, no one smells good when they’re sick.” She pouts playfully.
My lips twitch upward. “The room…smells like sick. And, well, you do too.” I reach for her hand, tilting my head at her. “You’re still beautiful and perfect, but…you need to shower. You will feel better.”
Melanie sighs. “I just feel so weak still.”
I hold up my hands. “Okay, okay, you don’t have to.” I get up and start to move toward the door.
“Josh?” Melanie’s voice comes out soft.
I turn back and she’s looking at me, worrying her lower lip.
“Will you…maybe help me shower?”
I don’t need to be asked twice.
“Stay in bed until the water’s warm,” I tell her softly. The faucet hisses to life, the water streaming from cold to lukewarm—just enough to keep her fever from spiking again. When the temperature feels right, I go back for her.
Trembling, she reaches for me. I loop an arm around her waist to steady her. I close the door behind me, careful not to let the warmth of the room escape.
God, I’ve missed her. The couch has been hell these last few nights—too quiet, too cold without the feel of her pressed against me.
I’ve missed falling asleep beside her, trading stories from when we were kids, laughing until our eyes drifted shut.
Missed the way our legs tangle, the way her breathing evens out against my chest.
When I don’t move, she lifts her arms in silent invitation.
My fingers find the hem of her pajama shirt, hesitating for half a second before tugging it over her head.
A low gasp escapes me. She’s beautiful—always has been—but she’s pale and fragile now, warmth still clinging to her skin.
I want to touch her, to remind her she’s mine, but not like this.
Not when she’s sick. My teeth catch on my lower lip, holding everything back.
“You got the rest?” I rasp, taking a step backward.
Melanie swallows, tracing her hand along her collarbone, over her breasts, making her nipples peak. She slides her hands sensually down to the waistband of her shorts, dipping her fingers just under it. When she slips them off and steps out of them, my breath catches.
“You better get in before it gets cold,” I say, weakly gesturing to the shower behind her.
“Aren’t you coming?” Melanie quirks a brow at me.
“Mel…” I let my voice drop.
“I know… I’m probably contagious. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to feel close to you.” She bites her lower lip and my heart lurches. I can’t resist.
I whip my shirt over my head and drop my gym shorts. I can’t even hide the beginnings of my arousal. Melanie steps toward me, running her fingers up my six pack and I let out a hiss. I grip her hand in mine.
“Let’s get you washed,” I step around her and slide open the glass shower door.
The water pressure isn’t made for two people, but I don’t mind.
I step in first and take Melanie’s hand as she steps in after me, guiding her under the water.
I run my fingers through her hair, helping her to get it thoroughly wet.
Squirting some of her forbidden—I’m not allowed to use it—shampoo into my palm, I gently lather it through her hair, root to tip, slowing to massage her scalp.
She lets out a moan, and I drag my hands down to the back of her neck and shoulders, applying gentle pressure to her aching limbs. “Josh,” she breathes.
“Shhh,” I whisper. “Just enjoy it.” I gently cup the back of her neck and guide her back under the stream of water, rinsing her hair.
When the water runs clear, she whirls around, placing her hands on my hips and pulling me close. My mouth aches to be on hers, but I’m not aching to get the flu. My dick is rock hard and settles between her legs in this tiny shower.
Melanie leans into me, wrapping her arms around me as the water runs through us. “Conditioner,” she murmurs and I chuckle.
I reach above me to the hanging rack over the shower head and pluck out a teal bottle of conditioner that reads “Deep moisture.” My mind immediately goes to another type of deep moisture, and my dick moves involuntarily.
“I think he misses me,” Melanie giggles, looking down at my throbbing cock.
“He’s not the only one,” I say. I give her a gentle nudge so she’s forced to take a step back, and I squirt the conditioner in my hand. “Spin,” I command. Melanie does as she’s told.
I gather her hair, smoothing the conditioner through it. Then I reach for the loofah and the body wash and lather it up, gently washing her back. She spins around, her breath catching, as if she’s overwhelmed by the tenderness of my touch.
“Josh,” Melanie says, and it catches in her throat.
“Hmm?” I ask, taking some suds from the loofah into my hand and rubbing my hands down her arms, over each breast, her nipples pebbling under my touch.
“No one has ever taken care of me like this,” Melanie whimpers.
“You don’t need to worry about that anymore,” I murmur, pulling her close. “I’m here now.”
Melanie melts into me and we stay like that, covered in Dove body wash, the water running cooler between us, for several minutes before I realize Melanie is softly crying.
“Hey, hey, that’s not supposed to be happening. What’s wrong?” I cup her cheek, forcing her to meet my gaze.
Melanie sniffles. “I’m just…I’m just thinking about how this can’t last forever. The summer will end, you’ll be gone, and I’ll be all alone again.”
I swallow the knot that forms in my throat, hesitating before I reply.
I stroke Melanie’s cheek, brushing away a tear that’s hotter than the water we’re under.
We haven’t even had the chance to talk about what’s next for us.
I faltered earlier this week when I called her my girlfriend.
I know it’s something we need to talk about, but she was so sick, I let it go.
Things are getting serious now though. What initially felt impulsive now feels incredibly natural, as if Mel and I were missing from each other’s lives for the past couple decades and suddenly, we’ve picked up right where we left off.
Only now, we get to do it for real—as adults.
“Hey,” I say, finally. “I know we haven’t talked about what comes next, and we will when you’re better.”
Melanie nods, swallowing more emotion, but she doesn’t reply.
“I know one thing, though,” I say softly.
“Yeah?” Melanie looks up at me. “What’s that?”
“I know I don’t want to lose you. I can’t go back to the way things were before,” I murmur, pulling her close again.
“Me neither.” She shivers into my chest.
I kiss the top of her head. “Ugh,” I say, wiping my mouth. “Conditioner. Let’s get you out of here before you get the chills.”
I rinse her hair, our bodies, and I climb out first so she can stay in the warmth. I reach above the toilet and pull down the fluffiest towel, holding it open for her to step into, then I grab one for myself. We dry off in silence before I hurry her back to her room.
“Quick, get under the covers,” I tell her. “I’ll dig you out clothes.”
When Melanie is dressed, I tuck her in and tell her I’ll be right back.
I pull on a pair of joggers, forgoing a shirt and reappear a moment later with a bundle of notebooks in my arms. I’d found them a few days earlier while Melanie slept.
“What’s that?” Melanie furrows her brow.
“I found our notebooks.” I grin. “Want to read some?”
Melanie giggles. “I’d love nothing more.”
I pull back the covers and climb in next to her, adjusting my pillows so I’m propped up.
“Okay…” I begin, picking up a blue composition book with our signature “J+M” etched in the corner. We thought we were so inconspicuous. “In no particular order.” I clear my throat, flipping to a page.
“Josh, I think Cara knows. She told me if I ever hurt you, she’d hate to have to beat me up. Did you tell her?” I read the note in my girl voice, making Melanie quietly laugh.
“Oh my gosh. I remember that one. That’s when I started to feel like we should tell her for real. We were hanging out and doing it in my bedroom literally every day.” Melanie turns on her side so she’s looking at me. “Read another one.”
“Well, my response is, ‘She doesn’t know, relax.’ So, I’d say someone should have told me back then never to tell a girl to relax,” I tease, laughing.
“I was absolutely not relaxed,” Melanie agrees, pursing her lips.
I flip the page. “You wrote this next one,” I say, skimming it quickly.
“I didn’t sleep last night. My parents hate each other, Josh.
They say such horrific things to each other when they’re arguing.
I don’t even know how they got to this point.
I can’t even remember a time when my family was happy.
It didn’t used to be like this, I know that, but it was never as happy as yours.
” I pause and look at Melanie for a sign that she might be upset.
“Keep going,” she urges.
“You sure?” I ask, touching her hand that she pulled above the covers.
She nods.
I take in a shaky breath. “I wish I was part of your family, Josh. It would be so easy. We would be so happy. Instead, I worry I’ll be alone forever, caught between two parents who can’t stand to be in the same room.
” My voice turns hoarse as I read. “You sure you want me to keep reading?” I ask, squeezing her hand.
Melanie nods.
I let out a sigh and continue. “Sometimes, I wish I could just run away and not look back. I would pack up all my things and make a break for it if I wouldn’t lose you in the process. I could never leave you. Thank you for being my safe place. Love, Mel.”
Melanie sniffles and I realize her eyes have filled with tears.
“Hey, we don’t have to do this,” I say gently, closing the book but keeping my index finger on the page. “It was supposed to be fun. Let’s put it aside.”
Melanie shakes her head. “I want to hear what you said back.”
“If you’re sure.” I flip the book back open and begin to read.
“I’m so sorry, Strawberry Girl. One day soon, we can get out of this place together.
I’ve been thinking more about Nashville.
I’ve always planned to go there alone but—what if we go together?
I can’t imagine not having you with me. Until then, when the world gets too loud, find me here. ”
And beneath it, my scrappy hand-drawn map of all our favorite places.
God, we really were in love. The realization hits me like a freight train. I can’t lose her again.
Then
Mel-
If these summer night bonfires with Cara and Liam tell me anything, it’s that I can’t keep this a secret much longer.
We’re already a foursome. We hang out with them all the time.
What are you so afraid of? Singing around the fire pit last night was so much fun.
You were quiet though and it’s scaring me.
Is there something you aren’t saying? Aside from worrying about Cara?
I can’t stop thinking about what she said about Nashville.
Maybe we’re really meant to be a country duo.
We could give it a real try?? As soon as I graduate. What do you think? I love you.
-J
Josh-
I’m fine, like I’ve told you for the fiftieth time.
I’m not mad at you, you didn’t do anything wrong.
I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been feeling queasy off and on.
That’s all it was last night, I swear. Can you please stop pressuring me now?
I’ll tell Cara when I’m ready. I’d have to think about Nashville, but maybe. It’s possible, I guess. I love you too.
Mel