CHAPTER 53
How am I supposed to speak to her when she won’t even give me a chance to talk to her? She is always hiding away from me, and they help her. Never leaving her alone, one of them is always with her and every time I have even come close to her door, I am told to leave.
She looks good, though I can tell she is getting weaker, our child taking her energy the bigger it grows.
I have just come in with Dakari after fixing the old school.
When I notice her, it is the first time I have seen her leave the confines of her room.
I can feel her panic when she sees me enter, making my stomach twist painfully.
“Don’t Silas,” I hear Matitus mutter under his breath, too low for her to pick up even with her heightened hearing. I can tell she never heard his words.
I ignore him, continuing to walk toward them, hoping she will at least let me apologize.
She looks beautiful as ever. Even when I met her, scrawny and broken, she still looked beautiful.
My eyes go to her bump which is well rounded and huge, looks heavy on her petite frame.
I step forward, wanting to touch her when she steps back.
I haven’t seen her face in a month and yet she still denies me, it hurts but also pisses me off. I clench my teeth to resist from snapping at her.
“You look good,” I tell her truthfully, she steps away, going to Dragus who is watching me carefully.
Out of both, Matitus and Dragus, he barely speaks to me unless it is to warn me away from her, his anger towards me the strongest. Turning back to her, I go to beg her to at least let me talk to her.
“Elora,” I call to her, and she turns towards me, yet the anger in her eyes and through the bond makes me stop.
“Save it Silas I don’t want to hear it, just leave please,” she says turning away.
I look to Matitus, hoping he might step in, but he just nods toward the door wanting me to do what she said.
I bite my tongue, holding back the words I want to scream at them.
She is my mate too, carrying my child as well, it isn’t just their baby that is safely tucked in her womb.
I stalk off, a growl escaping me that I hope she doesn’t hear. The horse Pluto is brushing becomes spooked in its stall.
“Sorry,” I mutter to him as he calms it down. He nods but says nothing as I walk out, shifting to get away from her.
THREE DAYS LATER
Another sleepless night, another night without them. Matitus walks in to change before he heads back down to her.
“Why won’t she sleep up here? You three not getting sleep is giving me none,” I complain.
“Because she knows you will be in and out of the room, if she is here.” Matitus answers.
“I’m not going to do anything, she would be more comfortable in our bed, you and Dragus can’t keep taking turns sleeping on that chair all the time, you can’t tell me you are comfortable,” I tell him.
He shrugs, not caring what I have to say. I toss the blanket off hopping out of bed and walking toward the walk in, he walks out, and I grab his wrist. His eyes dart to mine.
“Please just let me see her, let me apologize or something,” I beg him.
His hand caresses my face, and I lean into his touch loving the warmth of his skin. “You hurt her, and honestly, I don’t think she will forgive you this time. You blew it Silas,” he says, letting go and stepping past me.
“What about you though, do you forgive me?” I ask. He stops, his hand on the door.
“I’m not the one who has to Silas,” he says walking out the door.
I put some clothes on and walk downstairs and to the kitchens to make coffee.
The cooks have become used to me helping myself in here now, I am rarely home at dinner now and always leave before breakfast. They have steadily got used to me coming and going, no longer running for the door when I enter.
Peter, the young boy that works in the stables mostly, walks in.
“Morning,” he says looking in the fridge.
“Milk is over here,” I tell him, passing it to him. He is a good kid, quiet, but never been a problem, and I actually enjoy his company when he is around, always so inquisitive.
“Can you pass me the tea bags down?” he asks looking above my head. I grab them off the shelf and hand them to him.
“Why are you so nervous this morning?” I ask him. He looks up, looking at the door.
“Storms coming need to prepare the horses,” he says.
“Want a hand?” I ask him and he looks up.
“If you’re not too busy my Lord,” he says looking back down, pouring the water in his cup.
“Silas,” I tell him and his eyes dart to mine. “You can call me by my name most do, my Lord sounds so old,” I tell him. He laughs and I can’t help but smile at him.
“You are old though.”
I hear one of the cooks gasp at his words. But I am used to his sarcasm, though the ‘Lord’ thing hearing it from him is getting on my nerves a bit. I like the kid, always helpful and a good worker. He has been helping around the city when I need an extra set of hands.
Dragus walks in, nodding to Peter as the chef hands him a tray. I stand up and Dragus notices me, turning on his heel and walking out, pointedly ignoring me.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” I tell Peter, quickly following Dragus into the hall.
“No Silas, don’t even ask,” he says, continuing down the corridor.
“Dragus, stop, please.”
He slows, then halts completely, turning to face me. “She doesn’t want to see you. You make her nervous, Silas.”
“She won’t forgive me if I can’t talk or see her,” I argue.
“You don’t deserve her forgiveness, and I am not going to tell her she should forgive you; it will just upset her, you going in there.”
“I won’t do anything, I just want to speak to her,” I tell him, looking toward her door.
“No, you will make her panic, she is convinced you are going to rip our baby from her and take it.”
“I would never do that.”
“Try convincing her of that, she is petrified of you. She can feel it, you know, what do you expect?”
“I will never stop hating the Fae, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.”
“She is Fae, our child will be part Fae, Silas, you going to hate your own child too?” he says, turning back to walk toward her door. I grab his arm stopping him.
“Please,” I beg. He looks toward the door.
“She isn’t even awake yet.”
“I will wait till she does,” I tell him, taking the tray from him. He hesitates but lets me take it.
“You try anything Silas”-
“I won’t,” I tell him, and he watches me, I feel him tug on the bond, letting him invade my thoughts and feelings.
“See?” he sighs.
“Make sure she takes those and eats all of it, she didn’t eat last night, the morning sickness has come back again,” he says pointing at the little white pills on the tray.
“What are they?” I ask while picking one up, concerned.
“Nausea tablets, Victor said they are safe, and won’t hurt the baby, though why she is worried when it’s immortal is beyond me,” he says. He looks tired.
“I will be back soon, don’t make me regret this,” he says, I grab his face with one hand.
I kiss him and he seems shocked at first. I think he is going to push me away when he suddenly grabs the back of my neck, kissing me back.
His guilt at kissing me back hits me. I feel his mixed emotions through the bond like he thinks kissing me is betraying her.
“I should go, I won’t be long,” he says walking off down the hall.
Walking in, I find her still asleep, laying on her side.
I place the tray on the side table and take the chair beside her.
I watch her sleep, noticing her belly move, seeing her skin tighten as the baby shifted within her.
I tug up her shirt gently so I can see better.
Moving in a wave like it has rolled over, I hear its heart beating softly inside her when it kicks, her skin pushing outward.
I watch in amazement. Cautiously, I reach my hand out, hoping she doesn’t wake.
I place my hand where it is kicking. Her skin is soft but tight when I feel it bump my palm, I am so absorbed watching that I hadn’t noticed her waking until she jumps slightly, making my eyes dart to hers, her heart beating erratically in her chest in fright.