Chapter 4
MAIRI
Mairi stood in her bedroom in Holly Berry Lodge and stared out of the wide window, admiring the beautiful mountains topped with shimmering snow and dense forests of trees.
Her eyes drifted across the snow-capped peaks.
Was Jed out on a slope somewhere about to hurl himself off?
Skiing had always been his go-to way of dealing with problems and it seemed nothing had changed.
She still couldn’t believe what had happened in the kitchen earlier.
Why hadn’t her unknowable husband immediately jumped at the idea of getting a divorce?
Perhaps he needed time to think, or maybe he was having second thoughts?
The idea that he might want to stay married to her had her alternately jumping for joy and wanting to give herself a stern talking to.
She’d spent months hoping he’d call to tell her that he wanted to see her again – but the phone had remained deafeningly silent, proving his father’s insistence that Jed thought she’d ruined his career was true.
Why would he suddenly change his mind now – was it just a case of wanting something he couldn’t have? She wished she could see inside his mind. But Mairi knew she shouldn’t read his confusion as a sign that she should alter course.
She loved Jed body and soul, had since the age of sixteen.
But it was obvious he didn’t feel the same.
She’d been hurt badly by Mike, and it had taken years to get over that.
She hadn’t had a tenth of the feelings for her ex that she had for Jed – and if she let this drag on, it would ultimately destroy any heart she had left. So she had to stay strong.
Her mobile suddenly buzzed in her pocket and she drew it out.
MF I can’t believe how much I miss you. I need to tell you that you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us. Come back to me as soon as you can. Harry xxx
Mairi flushed as she put the mobile back into her pocket. She’d been attending events with Harry J Miles for over two months as a colleague of sorts and he wanted to take the relationship to the next level. Which was why she was here.
Harry was a good man. He could be a little over the top sometimes and his feelings for her had escalated surprisingly fast. But he was the first man she’d met who wasn’t afraid to tell her how important she was. She’d be crazy not to grab it with both hands.
She shook her head as she unzipped her suitcase so she could finish unpacking. She’d been so weary last night, so distraught when Jed hadn’t returned to the lodge, that she’d simply got out a nightdress, a change of clothes for today, her phone charger and some toiletries.
Mairi winced as she lifted the lid and saw the brown envelope sitting on top of her clothes. It contained the divorce papers, and she pulled them out and quickly stuffed them into a drawer in the desk that faced the window. She’d give them to Jed once he agreed to the divorce.
She turned back and gathered up two nightdresses and some underwear before placing them in the small white wardrobe to the right of the room.
Then added two pairs of trousers and a few colourful tops, before tugging out her cardigan and favourite oversized pink jumper.
Her heart stuttered when the edge of a golden high-heeled shoe was revealed.
It was tucked between her slippers and some balled-up fluffy socks.
She’d almost forgotten she’d brought it here.
Mairi swallowed and drew out the shoe, gripping it reverently, feeling a powerful swell of emotion.
There had been no time to buy rings when she’d married Jed in Vegas.
She’d hired her wedding dress – so this was the only physical reminder of the day she had.
She only had one shoe. The other had been lost – much like the groom. An omen perhaps?
When she’d returned to the hotel room after her run-in with Jed’s da at the hospital and subsequent visit when she’d been turned away, she’d booked a flight to Edinburgh.
She’d had to get away – to process what had happened and to give Jed space.
Space she’d hoped he wouldn’t need. In a hurry to catch the flight, she’d frantically thrown her possessions into her suitcase, and had somehow missed one of the shoes.
She hugged the golden heel to her chest, before placing it on the desk – like a talisman reminding her of this morning’s conversation. Perhaps once she persuaded Jed to agree to the divorce, she’d finally be able to part with it, or at least stop carrying it around.
Mairi stroked a fingertip over the foam sole, before grabbing her laptop and placing it on the desk too.
She had to take advantage of these few free moments to focus on her book.
She was woefully behind on her deadline.
She glanced at the shoe again before opening the document and staring at the blank page.
The stakes were high – her hero and heroine were desperately in love, but their whole world had just come crashing down and there was no prospect of a reconciliation. She had to fix things for them; she just wasn’t sure how to do it.
Mairi stared at the screen hoping for inspiration, but her mind refused to cooperate. Her mobile began to ring and she answered.
‘Kenna?’ Kenna McKay had been Mairi’s literary agent for three years and her best friend for two – she pulled no punches and was unflinchingly honest. Mairi wasn’t sure she could cope with any more truth today.
‘Yep. It’s me.’ Kenna’s youthful voice was weighed down with a heavy Scottish accent. ‘We need to talk.’ Mairi’s stomach dropped.
‘What happened?’ She put the mobile on speaker so she could lean her elbows on the desk and rest her head in her palms.
‘I’ve got bad news.’ Kenna’s voice was crisp. ‘I’ve been trying to head this off, Mairi, but you need to understand you’re almost six months behind on your deadline.’
‘I know.’ Mairi let out a long breath and frowned at her computer. If her writer’s block continued, she wouldn’t hit her extended deadline either. ‘And?’ she croaked, guessing she wasn’t going to like what Kenna had to say.
‘I have to give it to you straight. The publisher has threatened to cancel your contract. I’ve managed to negotiate a little more time bu—’
‘How long?’ Mairi glanced at the shoe. Could this day get any worse?
‘You’ve got until two days after New Year. If you don’t deliver it by then.’ Kenna paused. ‘You’re going to lose the contract, and that includes the one for your next two books too.’
Mairi groaned. She’d spent most of her early twenties chasing a publishing deal in between mending her broken heart. It had been her dream, and sometimes she still pinched herself when she remembered she was an author. She couldn’t imagine losing it all.
‘I can’t work out what’s going to happen in the story, or how to fix what’s wrong,’ she confessed, her voice racing as the full implications hit.
Her marriage was over, now her career might be too.
‘It doesn’t matter how much I brainstorm; I can’t see a future for this couple.
’ She massaged her temples, wishing she’d been able to sleep.
‘Is it bad that I can’t see a happy ending anymore? ’
Kenna sucked in a breath. ‘Since you write romance novels where an HEA is guaranteed, I’d say it is.’
‘Thanks for trying to cheer me up,’ Mairi muttered.
‘I’m sorry.’ Kenna cleared her throat. ‘I don’t know what to say. We’ve talked about this. We’ve tried brainstorming this ending multiple times. You have to finish this book – and if you can’t… well, you have to work out what’s stopping you and change it.’
‘I know what’s stopping me,’ Mairi said. ‘It’s the situation with Jed.’ She pulled a face. ‘The thing is. I’m not sure I can fix anyone’s relationship, imaginary or otherwise until I’ve figured out my own.’ She sighed.
‘That’s why it’s called fiction,’ Kenna shot back. ‘Because it’s not real and you get to make it up. At least you used to.’
‘What if I can’t?’ Mairi whispered, feeling hopeless. ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged—’
‘That once one part of life goes to hell, the rest will follow,’ Kenna said without humour. ‘So you need to make sure it doesn’t. What did Jed say when you asked him for the divorce?’ Her agent knew all about the marriage and was the only person who had known she was coming to Aberlinnie and why.
Mairi got up so she could pace across the wooden floor until she stopped on a thick pink rug next to the bed and wriggled her toes. ‘He said no.’ She shook her head. ‘Then he ran.’ She swallowed.
Her friend made an irritated clicking sound. ‘Of course he did. What else would he do?’ Kenna sighed. ‘So, what are you going to do?’
Mairi walked back to the desk just as an email pinged into her inbox. She leaned down to open it. It was from Harry and had a picture of a bouquet of flowers in it along with three large beating hearts.
She tried to smile. ‘I’m going to stick around. I have to talk to him again, show him I really mean it. I’m staying at the lodge for a few more days. One of the team is sick and I promised to help out.’
‘Great,’ Kenna complained. ‘Another distraction.’
‘Aye well, it’ll give me an excuse to talk to Jed again.
’ Surely after a few days her reluctant husband would see sense?
If his behaviour in the past was any indication, he’d soon be begging her for the paperwork.
Once he was single, he’d be free to pursue as many women as he liked.
Or if his current girlfriend was serious, he could marry her instead. The idea made Mairi feel sick.
‘If you stay at the lodge, how are you going to get him to talk?’ Kenna asked.
‘I don’t know. It was hard seeing him today.’ The admission made her chest ache.
‘Aye. Well, having that man in your head is interfering with your work. As your agent, I’m not saying I can’t be supportive, but I am saying it’s time you reclaimed your mind and with it your creativity. You have to prioritise this divorce.’
‘Aye,’ Mairi agreed, staring at the huge hearts on her screen. If she was free, this was the kind of adoration she might get to enjoy every day. ‘I’ve just got to figure out how to get Jed to stop running so I can convince him.’
‘You could try breaking both his legs,’ Kenna said dryly. ‘Oh wait, he already did that himself.’ She paused. ‘Failing that, where does he spend his time?’
Mairi thought about the girlfriend Quinn had mentioned Jed was talking about and felt another twinge of jealousy. ‘During the day he’s on the slopes, teaching.’ She bit her lip.
‘So book a lesson,’ Kenna said reasonably.
Mairi pulled a face. ‘I’m not good with snow.’ Or slush, or ice – in fact she was allergic to anything cold – unless it had a shot of tequila in it. ‘I find it difficult to stay upright.’
‘Which means he’ll have to keep a special eye on you,’ her friend said cheerfully. ‘That sounds like the perfect solution to me…’