Chapter 18
MAIRI
‘How are you getting on with the ending of your book?’ Kenna asked as soon as Mairi answered her mobile.
She was taking a break at her desk after making shepherd’s pies and cupcakes for later.
Her head ached and she’d hardly slept last night – too churned up after the kiss with Jed and his insistence it had been a mistake.
What would have happened if Greer hadn’t interrupted, would he still have thought it was a mistake then?
It’s not like she could ask him, he’d been avoiding her ever since.
She stared at the blank page on her laptop. ‘It’s coming along,’ she lied. ‘I’ll get it done by the new year.’ Somehow.
‘Aye, well, make sure you do. Both of our careers are relying on it. You need to tell me if you’re stuck because I might be able to help. In other news,’ Kenna added, her tone businesslike, ‘I saw Harry at a book launch last night.’
‘Aye, I think I was meant to go with him.’ He’d invited her to the party and had been devastated when she’d said she wouldn’t be back.
Mairi glanced at the large teddy bear in the corner of her bedroom.
It was still clutching the three heart-shaped balloons which were slowly deflating.
She’d texted Harry a thank you, and had intended to follow up with a call.
But the kiss with Jed had changed everything and she was going to have to end their relationship today.
It was unfair to keep him hanging on, especially when he felt so strongly about her.
She wasn’t looking to hurt him – she knew how that felt.
‘The thing is—’ Kenna said gruffly. ‘I’m not sure how to tell you this.’ Her voice was tense.
‘What?’ Mairi asked, frowning. ‘Did he ask about me?’ There was no way Harry could know about the kiss with Jed or that she was married to him, but that didn’t stop the sharp pang of guilt.
She glanced at the bouquet of flowers which were wilting on her desk. Harry was so into her, so open and happy to show it – was she crazy for chasing the fantasy of her runaway groom?
‘Not exactly,’ Kenna said awkwardly. ‘Actually, he was at the event with someone. Another author. Apparently, her sales are really quite good at the moment.’ Her voice was tight. ‘Better than yours.’
‘I wouldn’t expect him to go alone,’ Mairi said reasonably.
‘Well, they were—’ Kenna paused. ‘I’m really sorry,’ she blurted. ‘But they were all over each other. Kissing and toasting each other with champagne.’
‘What?’ Mairi’s jaw dropped.
‘I know you two have been dating and you thought it was going to get serious, but I think he might not feel the same way.’ Kenna paused. ‘After everything that happened with Jed and your eejit first husband…’ She sighed. ‘Harry J Miles doesn’t deserve you any more than the other two.’
Mairi pulled the mobile away from her ear and stared at it. ‘He was with someone else?’ she checked, shocked. ‘Another author?’
‘Aye and they left holding hands.’ Kenna let out a long breath.
‘Well, that’s…’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Kenna said with feeling. ‘I really thought he was different. You deserve a love worthy of one of your novels.’
‘It’s brilliant!’ Mairi did a little happy wriggle in the middle of the bedroom and cheered. If she had any doubts about her feelings for Harry, the wave of relief rolling through her now proved she didn’t have any.
‘You don’t have to be strong for me,’ Kenna said gently, sounding a little confused. ‘For the first time ever, I think I might agree with Quinn about something. I know you told me he wasn’t very keen on Harry, and I thought he was being overprotective again. But he obviously had a point…’
‘I think so too, and I really am happy about it.’ She stood and picked up the flowers before ceremoniously dumping them into the bin.
‘Harry might not have gone about it the right way, but I’m genuinely relieved.
’ She carried the empty vase into the bathroom and poured the water away, feeling lighter.
It was symbolic, a cleansing of the room, a goodbye to the relationship she’d thought she’d wanted.
The mindless adoration she’d craved. But it had been wrong for her all along.
‘Because of Jed?’ Kenna asked tentatively.
‘Because I’ve realised I don’t really have feelings for Harry,’ Mairi said quietly. ‘I wanted to care for him so much, I really did…’ She’d thought he was her route to security and happiness. Now she realised he’d simply been the easiest thing to latch onto so she wasn’t alone.
‘Because it would have made it easier for you to get over Jed?’ Kenna guessed.
‘Aye, and because I wanted someone to love me so badly, I wanted to be needed – I didn’t realise just anyone wouldn’t do.’ Mairi winced. ‘That wasn’t fair. To him or to me. Harry’s done me a favour. I was going to call him today to break things off anyway.’
‘You were? Why?’
‘Long story,’ Mairi said lightly. ‘I might turn it into a book one day.’
‘Aye, well, as long as you finish that one,’ Kenna said dryly. ‘Seriously, I’m happy you’re taking this so well.’ She paused and her voice changed. ‘Does that mean something’s changed with Jed?’
Mairi shrugged. ‘I don’t know for sure. But I’m going to find out.’
Mairi watched as Douglas hefted the final box of decorations into the dining room along with a small bucket of freshly cut mistletoe.
‘Are you sure you don’t need any more help, lassie?
’ he asked, glancing around the room. It was the only part of the lodge they hadn’t decorated yet and she needed something to take her mind off Jed, who still hadn’t returned from his morning ski session. But he couldn’t avoid her forever…
She sighed. ‘I’ll be fine. How was Effie when you checked on her?’
The older man’s cheeks flushed bright pink.
‘Grand. I think she’s looking even more bonnie than usual which means she’s on the mend.
She’s recovering quickly and I’d like to think my soup can take some credit for that.
’ He grinned. ‘But I told her to stay in bed. She asked if I’d hang some lights around the outside of the lodge.
’ He pointed to the window. ‘Said we had to keep the Abernathy woman happy.’ His smile dimmed.
‘Rhona normally does it, but I’ve got some ideas.
’ His grin returned, his green eyes sparkling mischievously.
‘It’s going to put Disneyland to shame.’
Mairi cleared her throat. ‘Maybe simpler is best?’ Another Douglas disaster was the last thing they needed.
‘It’ll be fine, lassie, I used to do this at home all the time. Just make sure—’ He tapped the edge of his nose and dropped his voice. ‘That you don’t tell Effie. I want it to be a surprise.’
‘Your secret’s safe with me,’ Mairi promised, miming zipping her lips and pushing down the stress, because she had enough of that frothing inside her already.
‘What secret?’ Scott asked, coming bounding into the dining room with Jed, Midnight and Bear.
The dogs had been hanging around the sitting room all morning so they must have met them on the way in.
‘Sorry we were so long – Jed made me run up and down the mountain about a zillion times.’ He frowned.
‘Is there anything to eat?’ He sniffed the air as Bear and Midnight yipped and ran around his legs, clearly excited by the mention of food.
‘I baked some Christmas cupcakes this morning,’ Mairi told him and the teenager started to head towards the kitchen.
‘Don’t forget you promised to do some hoovering,’ Jed warned.
‘Aye.’ The boy stopped and rolled his eyes.
‘I won’t. But I need to eat or I’m going to pass out.
You’ve no idea how tired I am.’ He marched out of the room with both dogs and when Mairi glanced at Jed, he was chuckling.
It was a good look on him and she took a moment to drink in the rare sight of her happy husband.
‘I’m off to create the big surprise now,’ Douglas said dramatically, hitching up the toolbelt he’d just clipped on. ‘I’ll be back at dinner to help out. Jed perhaps you can help the lassie with the decorations?’ He nodded at the sparkly containers. ‘She’s going to need someone to hold the ladder.’
When Douglas had gone, Jed turned. ‘Do you want help?’ he asked roughly. He was wearing one of his tight long-sleeved T-shirts again. The material hugged his frame and made Mairi think of how his skin had felt when she’d touched it. Her insides warmed.
She nodded. ‘As long as your knee is up to it?’ She was nothing if not a thoughtful wife.
‘I think the frozen peas did the trick,’ he said, turning away.
‘I thought you were avoiding me again,’ she said quietly.
He turned back and flushed. ‘I’m sorry.’ He swallowed. ‘I’m not going to say it wasn’t partly that. I needed time to think about what happened. To work out what to do next.’
‘Have you?’ Her heart thumped hard. ‘Worked out what you want to do?’ She held her breath.
He stared at her, his eyes dark.
‘Because I want to kiss you again,’ she said recklessly before he could respond, clocking the way his shoulders tensed.
She frowned and looked around, suddenly feeling guilty for putting Jed on the spot.
‘Failing that, I want to put the lights up.’ She backtracked afraid of scaring him away.
‘And there are some sparkly twirly things I want to hang from the ceiling.’ She watched the muscled wings of his shoulders bunch before he went to get the ladder.
Then he silently propped it in the centre of the room without looking at her.
‘I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want to kiss you again, or that I haven’t been thinking about doing that,’ he admitted, making her insides go zap.
‘But there are still things…’ He let out an unsteady breath.
‘I’m not going to leap in again, Mairi. There are things that need sorting out first—’
‘What things – telling Quinn?’ She moved around to face him, almost tripping over Midnight who’d returned from the kitchen carrying a bone in his mouth.