Chapter 25
JED
Park Rat News
Is Turbo about to make a comeback?
Keep your visors peeled on the
Aberlinnie Winter Wonder Ski Championships
Jed paced around his bedroom trying to ignore the tension knotting his shoulders.
He’d tried a mindfulness practice when he’d woken, hoping it would help him clear his head in preparation for an optimum performance on the slope.
Or at least one that didn’t involve him making a complete fool of himself.
But stress had rewired his brain and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about the accident.
His whole body was vibrating with anxiety and the belief that it was going to happen again and—
His mobile started to buzz on his nightstand and he went to pick it up, pausing momentarily when he saw his father’s face frowning on the screen.
Boyd hadn’t called him in months. He’d only communicated via text, which added up to a few sharp reminders about his debt and Jed’s responsibility to put things right.
‘Da,’ he said gruffly as he picked up, quickly unplugging the phone from the charger. His head felt woolly, despite the fact that he’d drunk nothing but peppermint mocha and water for days.
‘Are you ready?’ Boyd asked sharply. ‘For the championships today.’ Jed almost laughed as he clarified – as if there was some other life-altering event on the horizon.
‘Aye,’ Jed lied, pacing to the window so he could stare at the glittering mountains in the distance.
He knew exactly where Devil’s Run was located from here, could imagine the teams of volunteers checking the slopes now, ensuring everything was ready for the championships.
It wasn’t a huge affair, but it attracted attention.
Especially when one of alpine skiing’s most talked about failures was about to compete for the first time in almost a year.
Ski enthusiasts, journalists, gawkers and a few real fans were probably heading there now, hoping for a spectacle.
Jed wasn’t sure exactly what kind he was going to deliver. He only knew it was going to be life-changing.
‘It’s an easy slope for you to tackle,’ his father informed him. ‘In the old days you could have done it with your eyes shut. I want you to know that I’ve put a big wager on you placing in the top three.
‘Da.’ Jed felt the hit of his words, could feel the stress pop in his stomach like someone had thrown in a grenade.
‘It’s too early,’ he said gruffly wondering why he was bothering.
Boyd wouldn’t listen to him. It’s not like he had faith in Jed’s ability – it was more that he couldn’t believe his son would dare to let him down again.
‘You’re going to be fine, no one’s expecting you to break any records.
’ Boyd’s tone brokered no argument. ‘As long as you’ve kept your life clean.
I’m assuming there are no distractions. I heard the girl was still staying at the lodge from Effie – but I’m assuming you’ve told her the marriage is over and have given her a wide berth? ’
Jed thought about Mairi, about what she’d said last night. She was right to push him, but she didn’t have the full story. He wasn’t going to pull her into the mess that was his life. It wouldn’t be fair. He swallowed. But if things changed today… ‘No distractions,’ he said firmly. ‘I’m ready.’
‘I’ll be watching. Someone’s filming it for YouTube – I messaged your old coach and agent and told them they might want to watch too.’
Jed felt the air gust from his lungs, leaving him with little oxygen to spare. ‘No pressure then,’ he croaked.
‘Don’t let me down,’ his da said sternly before hanging up.
‘Feck.’ Jed stared at his mobile as someone knocked on the door. He almost sprinted across the room, hoping to find Mairi on the other side. They hadn’t talked since their moment in the kitchen and she’d retired early, after giving him a meaningful look.
Was she here to wish him luck, or to tell him she’d changed her mind? That she’d wait for him – stand by him, even if he screwed everything up again. He wouldn’t deserve it. But he couldn’t imagine a world where she wasn’t in his life – where she wasn’t his wife.
His insides lurched with disappointment when the door swung open to reveal a smiling Quinn and Scott.
The lad was holding a mug in one hand, and he immediately held it out.
‘Peppermint mocha. Your Aunt Effie told me to say you should drink – it has magical powers. She said think Popeye and spinach, whatever that means.’
‘Aye.’ Jed took it and swallowed the whole lot down in one, before standing aside so they could join him in the room.
‘Why are you so nervous?’ the teenager asked, cocking his head and studying Jed carefully. ‘You’ve competed a million times; half the crowd are coming just to watch you.’ His smile was wide.
Quinn gave Scott a long look. ‘He was always on edge before events. It’s part of his process. Let him have his jittery moment.’
Scott nodded and wandered to the other side of the room where Jed kept his trophies. There were shelves of them, some large, some small. ‘These are incredible.’ Scott glanced over his shoulder, his face filled with excitement. ‘There must be almost fifty.’
‘Fifty-five,’ Jed said flatly.
‘They must be worth a fortune!’ The boy leaned forward so he could get a better look.
‘Aye, well, not really.’ A few people had offered him money for them over the years, but he’d turned them down. They represented his life’s work. In many ways his worth. Certainly in his father’s eyes.
‘Not that you’d ever want to sell any,’ Scott continued before turning around. ‘Have you read your quotes this morning?’ He tracked to the mantlepiece beside the bookshelf, where Jed had placed the picture frame and notebook.
‘Nae, not yet, lad,’ he managed. ‘I’ve been…’ He swallowed. ‘Too busy.’ Stressing and thinking about what Mairi had said.
He watched as Scott picked the notebook up and opened a random page. ‘“Doubt is for cowards,”’ he read.
Oh, how Jed wished he could punch his former self in the face – or at least tape up his mouth. He deserved it for spouting all that nonsense. ‘Aye,’ he croaked wondering what that made him.
‘Wise words,’ Quinn said without irony, going to sit on the edge of the bed. ‘Read another,’ he ordered.
Scott flicked to another page. ‘“When you have love, you can do anything.” Were you talking about your feelings for skiing when you said that?’
Jed let out a soft breath, feeing his stomach jolt again. He’d said it to a journalist on one of the days after he’d married Mairi.
He’d been on top of the world, and he’d thought he was invincible. Then his world had come crashing down. ‘We’d better get going,’ he said quietly. ‘I don’t want to be late.’
Jed stared into the abyss that was Devil’s Run, trying to block out the noise of the crowd and other skiers who huddled in clusters near the top, chatting and swopping tales.
He’d shaken Quinn and Scott as soon as they’d arrived at the event, asking them to wait at the end – so he could have some alone time he’d said. To prepare mentally.
He knew Mairi and Kenna were down there too waiting.
Douglas and Effie had stayed at Holly Berry Lodge so they could see the electrician who’d promised to arrive within the hour.
Somehow, they’d continued to keep the place running without any power and had even served an extravagant breakfast. His aunt was so much more relaxed now she knew Greer wasn’t the mystery reviewer – although she was still concerned someone else might arrive.
He heard his name called and took in a long breath before making his way to the start. Someone tried to speak with him, but he shook his head. He was too churned up inside, too afraid of what was going to happen next to exchange small talk.
If this went wrong, his father’s debt was going to get bigger and he would lose Mairi. He had to do well…
He shut his eyes and remembered the last words Scott had said to him before skiing away with Jed. ‘“Anything’s possible if you shut your eyes.”’ The lad had flashed him a wicked grin. ‘Those are your words too.’
Jed had tried to smile.
‘My dad’s watching from the bottom,’ Scott had said innocently. ‘He told me to say don’t worry – you’ve got this and even if you don’t, there’s always tomorrow.’
‘Thanks, lad.’ Jed had swallowed, wishing Boyd had an ounce of Adam’s humanity, as he slowly glided to the start.
Jed stared into the abyss that was Devil’s Run and tried not to hyperventilate.
He had to move, but it felt like the whole mountain had fallen silent so it could watch him fail. Even the birds had stopped singing – and the silence was deafening.
He squeezed his ski poles as he gazed at the start.
This was the moment he’d been working towards.
If he could just get to the end fast enough and demonstrate enough skill…
If he could do all that without making a mistake, then he’d get his life back.
He’d pay off his da’s debts and he’d get to have Mairi.
He crouched lower, tensing his thighs, feeling the grit of determination as it flooded through him, blocking everything else out. Doubts, pain, that nagging sixth sense that told him that this was going to go wrong were dismissed.
The countdown began and he gripped the poles harder, ‘Four, three, two…’ The numbers echoed in his mind and his vision tunnelled. Only one thing mattered now – he had to win. When Jed heard, ‘One,’ the world narrowed to a razor thin blur of flags and ice.
He felt a sharp stab of fear as he made himself take off, ignoring the chatter of his skis as they whooshed on the ice. He was going to do this, and he was going to place well. He played the mantra in his mind over and over as he forced himself to speed up.
The first turn was effortless and Jed angled himself to the right, trying to work with gravity so he could go faster.
He absorbed the shock of the terrain in his joints as he pivoted again, ignoring the complaints from his body as it shrieked that it hurt.
Pain didn’t matter, only conquering his fears and winning did.
The wind howled past his helmet and icy snowflakes hurled themselves at the tiny slithers of exposed skin.
His poles whipped to the side with a graceful rhythm that almost felt innate.
God he’d missed this. The excitement of the race, the feeling of power, the total certainty that he was going to beat everyone.
It had been too long since he’d felt this good on the slopes. Jed’s heart pounded as he dug deeper, making himself accelerate. Ignoring the small part of himself that was screaming that he should slow down, telling him he wasn’t ready, and that he was risking everything.
Trees flashed past as he snapped around a gate with a fluid grace he’d almost forgotten his body was capable of. His lungs burned with every breath and the scrape of his skis cutting through ice was deafening.
But he could almost hear the roar of the crowd now, could taste the sweet flavour of victory and wondered if his friends could see him yet. Wondered if Mairi was there. What she was thinking.
That’s when Jed’s right ski caught on something, jarring his leg, spinning him around with a painful wrench. That’s when he landed on his backside and his poles went flying and he knew in that moment that everything was lost…