11. Will
Chapter eleven
Will
S leep was elusive last night. My guilt-inducing conversation with Roz played on a loop in my mind, and every time I closed my eyes, my brain unleashed the mental image of nearly hitting that cyclist yesterday. The resulting fatigue left me feeling extra anxious about seeing Maureen, which is how I found myself parked half a block away from James and Marley’s house, fingers clenched on the steering wheel, trying to psych myself up to go inside.
My energetic optimism from the previous week seemed to have vanished, the cold from the freezing temperatures outside seeping under my skin. I watched as people made their way up the home’s front walkway, periodically using my hand to smear a peephole in the fogged windshield of my Audi to get a better view. Some faces were familiar. I’d visited James in Coleman Creek half a dozen times since the talent show last year, and he’d made a point of introducing me to his friends.
I saw Travis Bloxham arrive with his wife Vivienne and their four kids. Travis was a fellow teacher of James’s and a solid dude. Like me, he would be a groomsman in the wedding. James and Marley were adamant that this engagement party be casual, low-key and child-friendly, which is why it began at three p.m., and why most of the guests I’d observed had been wearing some version of jeans and sweaters, usually holiday-themed. Marley’s sister Miranda appeared to be on door duty, welcoming everyone with the manic enthusiasm of Cinderella waving atop a Disneyland parade float.
Maureen was nowhere in sight, but I knew she had to be here. On the drive from Seattle, I’d thought more about the choices I’d made with her—both five years ago and last December—and ultimately decided that, while I owed it to her to respect her wishes not to rehash the past, it might be okay to push her just a little bit when it came to how we could interact moving forward.
That buzz I’d gotten from being around Maureen, that hum of possibility—I wanted it again, even if all it evolved into was tolerance. We needed to get to a place where I wasn’t stressing out in my car fighting nausea just because she was nearby.
I released the steering wheel and rubbed the three fingers of my right hand, flexing out the stiffness from the cold. I’d recovered from disaster before. That day in the lobby hadn’t been the end of me and Maureen. Fate had a different plan. And if she was here, and I was here, I had to believe we could make things better between the two of us.
With one more fortifying breath, I exited the car. We hadn’t gotten snow in Seattle yet, but there were three inches on the ground here and I nearly slipped on the sidewalk. James had shoveled and salted, but I’d made a precarious choice with my shoes. Vegan leather monk strap loafers. Understated, but high quality. On some level, I was trying to impress Maureen. I’d seen her give me the once-over last time and assumed noticing other people’s fashion choices was a side effect of being in her line of work. Still, I had no desire to stick out or telegraph my city boy status, so I’d kept the rest of my outfit simple—dark wash Levi’s and a cranberry sweater.
Miranda hugged me so effusively when I got to the door that I feared she might leap into my arms. She didn’t, but after receiving her full octopus welcome, I felt some of the tension leave me.
“Will! It’s so great to see you again.” She looked past my shoulder in case anyone else was coming up the walkway. Satisfied there were no stragglers, she pulled me inside and shut the door. “It’s been since the end of summer, right?”
“Early September.” I’d come out to visit James after finalizing the sale of my company and crossed paths with Miranda for a few days before she’d flown back to school.
“Of course.” She took my coat and hung it nearby. “Well, it’s nice you could make it. I’m always down to listen to any embarrassing stories you may have about my soon-to-be brother-in-law. Need to have that ammunition in my back pocket, for future family dinners and such.” She chuckled and made finger guns, which she blew over and holstered in her front pockets. “And I’m excited to hear all about what you’ve been up to. James mentioned something about you renovating a building. That’s cool.” Points to Miranda for remembering those details and genuinely caring. That was why it had been easy to pick up my friendship with James this past year—he was good people, and so was his new family.
“I think you’ve heard all my best stories, but if anything new comes to mind, you’ll be the first to know.” I surreptitiously scanned the space for Maureen. Dozens of people crowded into the open living room, but there were also partygoers outside under a massive covered patio. The snow had been shoveled to the side of the yard, and outdoor space heaters made the chilly temperature palatable.
“I’ll hold you to that,” Miranda replied. “I’m going to go see about rounding up the glasses. This party is casual like the bride and groom wanted, but we’re still going to do a champagne toast around six.”
“Sounds good. I’ll find James and let him know I’m here.”
She headed off, and I took a few breaths before doing one more perusal of the main room. Where was Maureen?
I couldn’t find her in the backyard, but I located James and Marley sitting at one of the tables. They’d rented a dozen for the occasion, and every seat was filled. When James saw me, he jumped up clumsily and made his way over, arms outstretched.
“Hey man, soooooooo glad you made it!” His eyes sparkled and I surmised that, while he wasn’t quite drunk, he was definitely feeling good.
“Nothing could have kept me away.” No need to mention how long it had taken me to get out of the car. I eyed the patio. Still no Maureen.
He stumbled into my right shoulder. “Whoops. Sorry. I’ve had a few.”
“You don’t say?” I grinned.
He looked sheepish. I pulled my arm away, massaging the scars on my palm reflexively. “Oh shit! Did I hurt you?” James waved his hand toward my wrist. I’d told him a little about my accident, not all the details, but enough so he didn’t need to pretend he didn’t notice my missing fingers.
“Nah. I’ve told you it doesn’t hurt. I’m just a little stiff from the cold, the way anyone might be.”
His relief was evident. “Oh, good.” He threw an arm around my shoulders and directed me toward the tables. “Hey, everyone.” He spoke to whoever was listening. Half-drunk James was funny. “This is my buddy Will, from high school. He’s gonna be a groomsman.”
A few people sent waves and smiles my way before returning to their conversations.
“I’m so fuckin’ happy.” James lolled his head on top of mine, easy to do since he had six inches on me. “Oh…whoops. Marley doesn’t curse, so I’m try’na stop…I’m so fudging happy.”
Marley stood with a laugh and disengaged James’s arm from my shoulder, slipping hers around his thick waist. “Alright, big guy. How about we switch out that beer for a few glasses of water?”
James leaned his bearded head down to kiss her on the temple. “I love you so much. I can’t wait to get married.”
She tipped up her face to kiss him back. “I know, baby. I fudging love you too.” She glanced at me. “Great to see you, Will. And don’t mind this lug nut. He’s sentimental. There’s nothing like having all our friends and family here, especially around the holidays.”
“Am I the last to arrive?” I asked.
“You know, I think you are, other than James’s parents couldn’t make it since they both came down with the flu. His brother is here, though.”
“Okay. I’ll make sure to find Leo and say hello. And, uh, what about your sisters? I saw Miranda.”
“Yeah. Miranda got in late last night. She’s been trying to make up for not being here for the party set up yesterday by helping this afternoon—and by helping , I mean playing hostess on steroids.” Marley huffed playfully. “Maureen’s around here somewhere, too.”
Nice to receive confirmation Maureen was ‘somewhere,’ but she certainly wasn’t in the backyard. And she hadn’t been in the living room.
Marley and James sat down, bottles of water in hand. Most of the outside guests were looking at the side of the house, where a projector displayed photos of the happy couple onto the cream-colored siding. I gave James an upnod—which he sloppily returned—before heading back into the house.
My gut told me Maureen and I were playing opposing games.
I searched for her. She hid from me.
From speaking with James , I knew Maureen was temporarily living there, so I guessed she was in her room. It seemed impolite to wander to that side of the house, since none of the other guests had, but after a while the strain of not being able to locate her outweighed my need to be polite. I allowed myself a few steps toward the bedrooms.
As I neared the cracked-open door of the guest room, it wasn’t Maureen’s voice I heard. It was the squeaky, high-toned voice of a child, then peals of laughter. A deeper, full-throated sound I recognized followed those giggles. Maureen’s laugh.
Pinning myself against the hallway wall, I listened for a moment, preparing to knock.
“Mo-reen, I wanna try the shiny purple one!” A squeal of delight followed the sound of things being shuffled around.
“That scarf is perfect, Scarlett,” Maureen said. “You look very chic.”
“Huh? Cheek? That doesn’t make sense, Mo-reen.”
“She’s saying you look like a butt.” A young boy’s voice came from a corner of the room. “That you look like butt cheeks.”
“I did not say that!” Maureen protested, an edge of laughter in her tone. “Connor, that’s not a nice joke. You know full well I said your sister looks chic, as in beautiful and fashionable.”
“Yeah,” the sister stated indignantly. “I’m beautiful and cheek . You’re the buttface!”
“Alright, you two. Enough.” This time, Maureen didn’t stop herself from a small laugh, and I couldn’t catch myself before also letting out a chuckle, immediately clamping my hand over my mouth. I crossed my fingers that she hadn’t heard it.
No such luck.
“Hello?” Maureen called. “Is someone out there?”
I knocked softly on the door a few times before gently pushing it open. Maureen sat on the bed next to the girl. Her mouth fell open in an O when she saw me.
“Sorry,” I said. “I was walking by and couldn’t help overhearing.”
“Who are you?” The boy, probably eight or nine years old, walked over from beside the bed and spoke without looking me in the eye.
“I’m Will. An old friend of James’s. And Maureen’s.”
Maureen inhaled loudly. But since she didn’t dispute my words, the kids seemed satisfied.
“I’m Scarlett,” the little girl, maybe six or seven, said brightly. “Mo-reen was giving my brother a break from the party. Connor is au…autistic. He’s okay, but he needs lots of breaks when it’s loud and stuff.” She looked at her brother and smiled, giving him a thumbs-up. I noticed James’s dog Bambi was also in the room, resting his head gently against the boy’s thigh.
Maureen gazed at the girl with fondness. “Scarlett, do you want to know a secret?”
“What?”
“I’m glad you guys came to my room with me. I needed a break myself. We all need them sometimes.”
“Of course we do, silly,” Scarlett agreed. Turning back to me, she added, “Mo-reen’s letting us look at her box of ax…ax…axetories.”
“Accessories,” Connor corrected his sister kindly, apparently not truly believing she was a butt cheek. “I like the bracelets.”
Scarves, hats, pins, and other jewelry covered every surface in the room. Maureen got up and murmured to me quietly so the kids couldn’t hear, “They fight, but Scarlett is very protective of her big brother. When the party started getting crowded, he told his parents he needed a breather, and she insisted on accompanying him.”
“Oh. That was nice of her.” I glanced around. “And they ended up here…with you?”
Maureen arched an eyebrow. “These are two of Travis and Vivienne’s kids. Have you met James and Marley’s friends, the Bloxhams?”
“Oh, uh, yeah. Them, but not their kids yet.” In all the times I’d pictured running into Maureen for the first time in a year, I’d never considered a scenario where I’d catch her babysitting .
“His parents seemed to be enjoying themselves when Connor asked for some space, so I volunteered to take him in here. With four kids, they don’t get much chance to relax.”
“Of course.”
Above the children’s line of sight, Maureen gave me a questioning stare, the husky laughter I’d heard moments ago entirely gone.
I missed it immediately.
Looking at what Connor held, I grasped for something to say. Anything. “Why do you have a tiara in your accessory box?”
She exhaled. “I have lots of interesting things, Will. Goodies from photo shoots.” She kept glaring at me. I knew what I wanted to say to her. I’d been thinking about it for days. But I couldn’t force the words from my mouth. Finally, Maureen interjected into the silence, too low for Scarlett and Connor to hear, “What are you doing here, Will?”
“At the party?” I mumbled.
“At the door to my room.”
I took a deep breath. Get it together, idiot. Time to put it out there.
“I was looking for you.”
Her stare could have cut glass. “That wasn’t our agreement.”
“That’s why I was looking for you.” I gazed back at her, straightening my shoulders.
“Why?”
“I want to renegotiate.”