Chapter 15
Lanie
I’d only spent one night with Celia, but apparently it was enough to ruin my ability to sleep alone. Even having Arthur curled up by my feet didn’t help. I spent the entire night tossing and turning in Amy and John’s guest room, staring up at the ceiling and trying to figure out what had happened.
I’d finally called Amy, telling her the whole sad story, but she was as clueless as I was about what happened with Celia.
“Fuck her,” Amy said succinctly. “John says she’s a cold fish anyway. We’ll find you a much better girlfriend when we get back.”
I was being ridiculous really. Sure, we’d had sex a few times.
Hung out together and had fun. That didn’t mean that we were a couple now.
I was probably just an easy distraction.
Celia mentioned how annoyed she was that she wasn’t allowed to work during her firm’s holiday break, and her BDSM club being closed only added insult to injury.
She didn’t seem to have a lot going on in her life, so even as different as we were, at least we had some fun together.
Then again, she’d said being with me was a waste of time. So maybe she didn’t like me as much as I thought she did. Maybe I was just this annoying girl with an equally annoying dog who glommed onto her when she just wanted a quick one night stand.
I couldn’t help to wonder about this Club Surrender she belonged to.
I wouldn’t mind going there and checking it out, especially with Celia, but when I thought about the way she’d turned off all her emotions that first night, it made me think that maybe the club was a distraction for her as well, not really something she was into.
Or maybe she was into it but just kept a clear line between her activities there and her personal life, such as it was.
She hadn’t mentioned any family, and she wasn’t spending the holidays with them, so I was pretty sure either they were dead, or she was estranged from them. That wasn’t that uncommon in the LGBTQ community, making me glad that my parents had accepted my coming out to them like it was no big deal.
I sighed, thinking of my own family, hanging out together on that holiday cruise that I couldn’t afford to join them for.
Sure, my parents had volunteered to pay my ticket, but I was a grown woman.
If I couldn’t pay my way, I didn’t want to go.
I didn’t mind too much really, knowing I was going to spend the holiday with Amy and her husband, but now that option was gone too.
I sighed again. It was fine. Arthur and I would just have our own little holiday. Being alone wasn’t the end of the world, right?
I woke up on Christmas Eve feeling uncharacteristically out of sorts. I couldn’t even bring myself to wear one of my fun holiday shirts, instead dressing all in black like I was going to a funeral. Being told you’re a waste of someone’s time had a way of crushing your Christmas spirit.
After gulping down some coffee, I put on Arthur’s harness and took him for a long walk. The streets were buzzing with last minute shoppers and people preparing for their holiday activities, which only made me sadder.
It figured that I finally found a woman I really liked, someone I could imagine myself having a future with, and she didn’t want to be with me.
Then again, it wasn’t like we were dating, I reminded myself.
We’d hung out a few times and had sex. That was it.
We hadn’t talked about dating or anything else.
It was just that everything had felt so natural between us.
I’d felt this immediate connection to Celia, and a level of comfort that I didn’t normally feel with anyone except my best friend Amy.
It was like we’d known each other forever somehow.
I thought it meant something, but it didn’t. She’d woken up from our nap together acting like I was a guest who’d overstayed my welcome. I’d been surprised. Hurt. But it was fine. I’d just do my best to avoid her until Amy and John got back after New Year’s Day.
I’d just returned home from taking Arthur for his second walk of the day and was debating putting a frozen pizza in the oven when I heard a knock on the door.
Thinking maybe Amy and John had sent me a package or something, I threw open the door, hoping to find chocolate. I needed large quantities of chocolate.
My mouth dropped open in shock. It wasn’t chocolate.
Celia stood in the doorway, looking like I’d never seen her before.
She was wearing black tights with a Christmas tree design, a sweater that had a picture of Santa putting presents under a Christmas tree, and what looked like elf slippers.
On her head was a headband with reindeer antlers that bobbed with her movements.
“Hi,” she said, giving me a tentative smile. “Happy Christmas Eve.”
Hearing her voice, Arthur came racing to the door, skidding to a stop next to us. Celia reached down to pat his head, her eyes never leaving me.
“What are you doing here?” I finally found my voice. “And why on Earth are you dressed like that?”
“I wanted to get into the Christmas spirit,” she said, giving me a tentative smile. “I came over to invite you and Arthur to spend the holiday with me. I have dinner waiting.”
“I thought you hated Christmas.”
“I used to, but then someone convinced me to get a Christmas tree and listen to carols, and it made my grinchy heart grow ten sizes larger.”
I burst out laughing at her reference. I was surprised she even knew about the Grinch.
“I thought you needed space?” I asked as I sobered. “You said I was keeping you from your important tasks.”
“I know I did, but now I’m ready to have less space.
” She paused, giving me a long look. “I know I ran hot and cold with you and I’m sorry.
The truth is, I was freaking out about how I feel about you and I needed some time to process it, but I didn’t know how to say that without coming off like a total bitch. ”
“And are you done freaking out?” I asked. “Because you kind of hurt my feelings.”
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” she said earnestly. “But I’ve done a lot of thinking over the last twenty-four hours, and I’d like nothing more than to spend the holidays with you. If you’ll let me.”
“I think that can be arranged.”
She surged forward, placing her palms on either side of my face and crushing her lips against mine. It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a claiming, and I felt it from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
Celia stepped back, her eyes taking in my appearance. “What are you wearing?” she asked with a frown. “Where’s your festive clothing?”
“I wasn’t in a festive mood this morning,” I admitted. “But I think maybe I am now.”
“How about you change into something more appropriate for a holiday dinner and I’ll meet you at my place?” she asked. “Dinner will be ready soon.”
I couldn’t help the huge smile on my face. “That sounds good.”
I started to turn, and she gave me a playful smack on the ass. “Don’t dilly dally.”
“Yes ma’am,” I said, giving her a little salute. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“I’ll be waiting.”