Chapter 23 Leo
Chapter twenty-three
Leo
NOW
By some miracle, I managed to keep my mind focused on holding the tree upright.
Marley and James knelt by the base, trying to secure the metal screws into the trunk.
Oscar and Bambi observed from their rug in front of the fireplace, staring at their owners with we can’t believe you brought a tree into the house we’re not allowed to pee on energy.
It took several attempts to get the tree secured without an obvious tilt. I appreciated the distraction, since a not insignificant part of me wanted to bum-rush Miranda and Stone on the porch.
Maybe having him show up was the reminder I needed to keep my selfish desire for her under wraps. I’d had my chance, and it was nearly two years ago.
I wished I had figured out before then that I was the type of person whose feelings developed over time, that, in fact, time was the only way feelings could develop.
If I had known that was a possibility, I could have given her the information and let her decide if she wanted to be patient, to see if more than friendship grew between us.
But I hadn’t done that. I’d drawn a line in the sand that first weekend in my apartment, telling her I wanted friendship and only that.
When I’d disclosed my asexuality a few months later, she'd bravely admitted she would have been open to something between us.
But by the time she started dating Stone last fall, our moment had passed.
And yet…
She clearly wanted the truth from me. I’d been about to confess when Stone showed up.
After we got the tree set up, Marley sat on the couch to admire it. “Looks good. We can put the lights on tomorrow.”
James gazed at it too. “Do you think if we stare at it hard enough, it’ll decorate itself?”
“Decorating can wait a day or two.” Marley laughed.
There were already two other trees in this house brimming with ornaments, lights, and garland. How much stuff did she have?
Marley smirked, reading my mind. “I have infinite capacity to Christmas-ify the house, Leo.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
James picked at something on his shirt. “Shoot. I’m covered in sap.”
“I guess that’s a sign for us to take a rain check on date night,” Marley said, patting him on the belly. “You need a shower, and I don’t know if our unexpected guest is going to be staying.” She eyeballed the front door.
“I admire your restraint,” James said. “I know you want to listen.”
“Do you blame me? I can’t believe Stone Caseman is at our house. I’m not a superfan or anything, but I don’t think we’ve ever had a celebrity in Coleman Creek.”
“He’s not that big of a celebrity,” I muttered. “In Los Angeles, he’s barely a blip.”
“But you’ve known this whole time that they’re friends?” James gave me a meaningful glance. He hadn’t brought up the conversation we’d had after the wedding, but I knew he had questions about how I'd gone from not even realizing I was demi to dating Miranda.
“They’ve only been friends since last September,” I answered. “Not the whole time I’ve known her.”
James's cheek ticked up. “Thanks for the clarification.”
I glared at him.
“Well, I can’t believe neither of you ever mentioned anything,” Marley said.
“More Miranda’s call than mine. And I think you can answer your own question. All this attention she’s getting now. She didn't want any of it.”
“I understand.” Marley nodded. “As outgoing as Miranda’s always been, even with her Instagram, she’s never been a fame-seeker.”
“True,” James added. “I’m just curious why Stone is here. I mean, Will’s my best friend and I love him, but when he’s in Seattle, I don’t just make the five-hour trek to pop in unannounced to say howdy.”
The front door opened and closed as James spoke.
“It’s my fault,” Miranda announced, coming into the living room. “I wasn’t replying to Stone’s texts and calls about everything going on, so he drove down to check on me. He’s filming outside Vancouver, so it wasn’t too crazy of a drive.”
“Did he leave?” James asked, looking over her shoulder toward the door.
“He got a room at the Hampton since he needs to head back in the early morning.”
“He drove all this way to have a twenty-minute conversation with you?”
“Uh-huh,” Miranda answered Marley’s question but kept her gaze on me.
“What about?”
Miranda frowned at her sister. “I just said. Everything going on. Friend stuff, Marls. Private stuff.”
“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to pry. It’s just weird, but… You’re okay?”
“Everything’s fine. Like I said, it's on me that I didn’t respond to him sooner. Obviously, he’s concerned about what people are saying about us. As much as my accidentally posting the photo was the catalyst for all this, he blames himself for putting public scrutiny on me.”
Countless times over the past few days, I’d seen her deny Stone’s call requests and sigh over his texts without replying. I'd assumed she'd been talking to him when I wasn't around. Apparently not.
“Why weren’t you responding to him?” Marley asked gently.
“Just being sulky,” she said, lifting a shoulder.
“Not my finest hour. I am a little teed off that all this happened, and especially how it affected my job. You think I’m all kittens and fresh-baked banana bread, but I can be as passive-aggressive as the next person if I’m pushed hard enough.
I figured he’d be irritated. I didn’t think he’d get in a car and drive here. ”
Everything Miranda said made perfect sense. Marley and James seemed to take her explanation at face value. But I could tell—it wasn’t the truth. Or at least, not the whole truth.
“Did you make it right with him?” James asked.
“We’re good,” Miranda said. “Our friendship is back on solid ground.” She emphasized the word in my direction.
“But once we resolved things, he was wiped out from his drive, so I told him to go to the hotel.” Her eyes softened as she told Marley and James, “Sometimes he has trouble being himself around new people, and I think he was just too tired to play the part of Stone Caseman tonight, if you know what I mean.”
“Man, it sounds like being a celebrity sucks,” James said. He twirled a strand that had fallen from his man-bun before grimacing. “Dang. Now I have sap in my hair.”
“Stone seems okay with the attention most of the time,” Miranda said with a smile. “But I gave him a pass tonight.” To her sister, she added, “I’ll plan it so Stone is in town for longer some other day.”
A sick feeling swept over me. I’d hoped that Stone’s hasty exit, combined with the fact that she hadn’t been answering his messages, meant that she was waking up to their situation. But if she was planning on introducing him to her family, maybe I’d misread?
Marley pushed James down the hallway. “C’mon, big guy. Let’s get you in the shower and take care of the sticky stuff.”
Miranda coughed. “That…didn’t sound right, Marls.”
“Definitely dirty,” I agreed.
James pumped his eyebrows at me as he followed his wife to their bedroom, Oscar and Bambi trailing behind. A moment later, the door closed with a snick.
Miranda turned to me. “Alone at last.”
I snorted. “Understatement. That was quite the interruption.”
She walked toward me. “But I haven’t forgotten what we were talking about before Stone showed up.”
“And I want to discuss that, Panda. Except first you need to tell me the real reason you haven’t been responding to him these past few days.”
She didn’t hesitate. “I needed the distance… To know for sure.”
Taking me by surprise, she wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her body against mine.
My immediate reaction nearly knocked me off my feet. Electricity zipped down my spine.
“Know what for sure?” I murmured.
She lifted herself on her toes and nipped at my chin. I felt the softness of her lips as they traveled to my cheeks and jaw. Mouthed my neck. Finally, she lowered herself and mumbled into my shirt. “I needed to know which one of my boyfriends was the fake one.”
I froze, still as a statue. Her words lingered in the air, teasing the edge of my mind. Giving me hope.
The buzzing in my ears amplified and there was no way Miranda could miss the rapid-fire rhythm of my heart beneath her nose. I swallowed, a golf ball of emotion clogging my throat, almost painful as it worked its way to my lungs.
“And did you figure it out?” I whispered.
Instead of answering, she tilted her head back.
Keeping her arms around my waist, as though to reassure me—or stop me from retreating—she asked, “After we had our fight on Halloween, you called the next day, but you never called back. Or texted. Why?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to give her the truth while still barely understanding it myself.
“When Stone picked up, it reminded me that he’s your boyfriend.
And I realized it wasn’t fair of me to…insert myself.
The way I’d pushed you during our call. I meant what I said—it has been hard to watch him keep you a secret.
But when he answered, I realized that I had other objections, different motives for trying to get you to see how unworthy he is.
And I felt like I needed to get a handle on those before I tried to… patch things up between us.”
“What motives, Bear?” she asked quietly.
My mouth opened, but no words came out.
I’d stuffed it down for so long. Denied myself even before I knew that’s what I was doing.
She recognized my indecision. Gently, she prodded, “That night, when you said I had options, what did you mean exactly?”
This question was easier. “That you didn’t have to be with Stone. You could be with someone else.”
“Who?” The word fluttered from her lips, barely audible.
Again, I got stuck. I’d lived so long not letting myself imagine the possibility, let alone voice it.
“Who, Leo?” She leaned into my chest and tightened her arms around me, drifting a finger into my back belt loop.
“Miranda—”
I groaned as her mouth trailed up my Adam’s apple, leaving a path of heated skin as she planted tender kisses along my neck.