Chapter 9
Alice
All morning, all Alice could think about was the night before. How she’d snuggled on the sofa in her living room with a blanket and hot chocolate and Jamie. They’d pretty much talked all night, bringing up funny memories, and Alice catching him up on any local news since her last letter.
She hadn’t known at the time it would be the last time she’d write to him in prison. She wondered if she might have written something other than the usual Port Berry updates.
None of it mattered now. He was home, and she could just speak to his face whenever she wanted. No security checks, no PO box usage, and no missing his voice.
The phone rang on the reception desk, disturbing her thoughts.
‘Hello. Seaview B&B. Alice speaking. How may I help you?’
There was no reply, so she waited a moment, then tried again, but still no one spoke, so she hung up. The phone rang again immediately, and once more no one was on the other end.
Alice hung up while reaching for her mobile phone so she could test the landline. For a whole week last month, she’d had calls where she couldn’t hear the other person. The last thing she needed was the business phone to give up the ghost. Lots of her guests liked to book that way.
She called the B&B number and all seemed to be well, so at least she knew the problem wasn’t her end.
Heading for the laundry room, Alice wondered how Jamie was getting on with his first shift at the café. She was dying to go over for a nosey. He hadn’t seemed nervous at all last night, but she knew he was good at hiding his true feelings.
Alice pulled out her phone again and sent a message on the group chat, asking her friends for some sort of welcome home dinner at the pub the following evening for Jamie.
‘It will be good for you to hang out with positive people doing good in this world,’ she mumbled, transferring white towels from the washing machine to the tumble dryer.
‘You talking to yourself, Al?’ asked Demi, poking her head around the door.
Alice breathed out a small laugh. ‘I think I spend half my life talking to myself. I have a busy brain.’
Demi grinned. ‘Mine’s usually occupied with recipes.’
‘Were you about to head off?’
‘Yeah, I’m going to take Champ over the park for a walk before I have to get ready for lunch.’
Alice smiled, thinking of the rescue dog Demi had saved. ‘He’s doing so well now, isn’t he?’
‘Oh, yes, he’s loving life, especially his bed. That dog does like his sleep.’
Alice yawned. ‘I know how he feels.’
‘Late night?’
‘Jamie and I were talking way past our bedtime.’
Demi smiled. ‘You’re really close, aren’t you?’
There had never been a way to describe the bond Alice had with Jamie, so it was hard to explain to others. She simply nodded.
‘Right, I better head off. See you later.’
Alice creaked to a stand and followed Demi out to the foyer, waving off a guest as well who was off out.
Benny was off school for another day while the school’s heating was fixed, so he was out the back, playing a computer game.
‘I’m just popping out,’ she told him. ‘Won’t be a minute.’
Benny laughed, not stopping his game. ‘I’m surprised you lasted this long.’
Alice frowned, amused. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I’m dreading my first day at work. I can just see your face squashed against the window or something or casually bumping into my boss, then asking how I’m doing.’
‘I wouldn’t.’
Benny scoffed. ‘You totally would. And you’re about to do the same thing to Jamie.’
‘Am not.’
‘Fibber.’
Alice bit back her laugh. ‘Okay, so maybe I was just going to take a small peek at the café.’
‘Just like when you took a small peek in the playground on my first day at secondary school.’
She remembered the day as though it were yesterday. Her stomach had churned all night. She’d stayed up late, meticulously ironing every crease out of Benny’s new uniform. Come morning she felt sick, worried he might get bullied by the bigger boys.
Alice had nothing to say on the subject. It didn’t stop Benny continuing to grin. Leaving him to his game, she put on her coat and hat and figured a short walk would do her legs some good. She often passed by the café, so what difference would it make if she walked that way today?
Telling herself to act normal, to stop fretting, and to not under any circumstances enter the café, she headed out the door.
Dark clouds filled the sky, and the waves were high, rolling the boats along the harbour. Hardly anyone was about, which wasn’t surprising, seeing how cold it was.
Alice stopped at the café, peering out to sea, sure it might snow any day. She hoped for a white Christmas. Something magical for Jamie’s first one back home.
Just for a moment, Alice forgot she was checking on Jamie, as thoughts of tartan pyjamas, a crackling fire in the wood burner, festive wrapping paper, and the jingle jangle of holly-jolly music occupied her mind. She was going to make sure he had the best Christmas ever.
‘What you doing out here?’ came Sophie’s voice.
Alice turned, surprised to see her. ‘Oh, erm, I was . . .’
Sophie grinned. ‘Staring into space?’
‘Something like that.’
Sophie gestured towards her shop. ‘Come inside with me. I’ve only been outside one minute and my lips are chapped.’
‘Ooh, that won’t do. Your wedding is almost here.’
‘Another three weeks to go, and I want kissable lips for Matt, so come on.’
Alice followed her into Sea Shanty Shack, closing the door on the gust of wind that pretty much helped push them inside. ‘Hi, Matt,’ she said, giving a slight wave to the tall dark-haired man behind the cold counter.
Matt’s pale blue eyes held a sparkle as Sophie kissed his cheek. ‘Were you in the Hub as well, Al?’
‘No, I was just going for a walk.’
Matt grimaced at the window. ‘In this?’
Alice shrugged. ‘Stretch the legs.’
Sophie put on her white work coat. ‘I found her outside the café when I came out the Hub. Staring out to sea, daydreaming, by the look of things.’
Alice frowned.
‘Although,’ added Sophie, ‘I happen to know it’s Jamie’s first shift in the café this morning, so she was probably spying on him.’ She turned to Alice. ‘Will was in the Hub with me.’
Alice motioned towards the door. ‘As you just pointed out, I was staring at the sea. So, no snooping at all.’
Sophie chuckled. ‘Alice, we all know how much you worry about people. It’s obvious you’d be thinking of Jamie today. And if it helps, Will did say Jamie was doing just fine.’
It did help, but she refused to admit that fact.
‘Ask Lizzie to read his cards if you’re that concerned about how his life will go from now on.’
‘My mum’s not talking to him, let alone whipping out the tarot for him.’
‘Why isn’t Lizzie talking to Jamie?’ asked Matt.
Alice sighed quietly. ‘She thinks he’s still a rotten egg.’
‘Doesn’t sound like your mum to not give someone a second chance.’ Matt looked at Sophie.
Sophie shrugged. ‘Jamie was no angel last time he was here. It’s natural for Lizzie to be wary. She’ll see in time he’s changed. We all will.’
‘I don’t need time,’ said Alice. ‘I already know he’s a different person.’
Sophie waggled her phone. ‘And we’re going to do our best to help settle him back into the community. I got your dinner request, and Matt and I will be there.’
Matt nodded. ‘Sophie texted me straight away. I’d like to meet him.’
Alice smiled at her friends. ‘He’s going to group therapy tonight with Demi at The Butterfly Company. Do you go there, Matt? I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I know you spent some time in prison, so I wasn’t sure if you go to those chats they have for ex-offenders.’
Matt shook his head. ‘No. I’ve never been, but that’s not to say I wouldn’t. I know about those things. They help others struggling with life back out here. January Riley told me about the centre.’
Alice slapped a hand to her mouth. ‘Oh, perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned it.
I’m pretty sure Jamie won’t mind, but still, me and my big gob.
’ Alice glanced at Sophie. ‘I wonder if Jan will be there. She would help Jamie if he needed any extra support. She’s the best therapist I know, not that I know loads.
I just know she helps so many around here. ’
‘My advice,’ said Matt. ‘When it comes to people and their healing journey, it’s best to let them get on with things their way.’
Sophie raised an eyebrow. ‘Basically, Matt’s politely telling you not to poke your nose in.’
Matt frowned. ‘I’m not being rude about it, Alice. I’m just saying it’s okay to offer help, by all means, but don’t arrange anything for him. Let him guide you.’
Alice dipped back to one heel. ‘I don’t want to do anything that would harm him in any way.
I just want him to, well, to stay on the straight and narrow.
’ She sighed, scratching beneath her hat.
‘I trust him. I do, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t enter my mind, especially as he’s staying at mine. ’
‘We’re only human, Al,’ said Matt. ‘Soph and I talk a lot about my mental health, how I’m coping with being in recovery from addiction. I’ll always have my battle with alcohol, but with the support I get, and love, I lead a good, happy life.’ He smiled at Sophie.
‘Jamie will too,’ said Sophie. ‘It’s probably a bit overwhelming for him right now.
The man was away for years. And if he’s turned his back on crime, then it might take a while for him to find his feet doing a proper day’s work.
Just talk with him about his day, like we do, and give him help when he asks. ’
Matt placed his arm around Sophie as she snuggled to his side.
‘From the moment I met you, Alice, I could tell you were the motherly type. So, all I can say to you is, don’t fuss the fella.
He’s a grown man, and he needs to be your equal not a project or charity case or treated as a child in need of care. ’
‘He’s flown the nest, Alice,’ said Sophie. ‘Time to sit back and watch him soar.’
‘You two make it sound as though I’m going to pamper him. Wrap him in cotton wool. Take charge and . . . God! I do that, don’t I?’
They both nodded.
‘It’s not a bad trait,’ said Sophie. ‘You care too much, that’s all.’
‘I don’t want to suffocate him.’ She gazed out the window, wondering if she should take the long route home to avoid the café now.
‘Walk by his side, Alice,’ said Matt. ‘No pushing, no leading, just side by side. We all need those kinds of mates.’
‘He knows I fuss.’ Alice chewed on her bottom lip. ‘But I’ll take your advice, and not get myself too involved. If Jan is at the centre tonight, she can introduce herself.’ She looked at them both. ‘I just want him to have good people around him.’
‘He has that,’ said Sophie. ‘And once we’ve all had dinner together tomorrow night, he’ll have some more.’
Alice smiled softly. ‘Thanks.’ She headed for the door. ‘Benny reminded me what I was like on his first day at secondary school.’
Sophie laughed. ‘I remember that.’ She turned to Matt. ‘She was worried no end. Alice does tend to overthink.’
Alice nodded. ‘I do, but I’m going to go about my day now, not thinking at all. Jamie is fine. I am fine. Everything is fine.’ It was worth drumming it into her head.
‘It’ll get easier as the days pass,’ said Matt.
‘You’re right. He’s only been out five minutes.’ Alice smiled, reaching for the door handle.
‘And, Al,’ said Sophie gently. ‘Please try to remember it’s not your job to fix him. Help out like you would anyone who walked in the Hub, but don’t exhaust yourself.’
Alice nodded, said goodbye, then went back outside to face the bitter wind.
If it wasn’t her job to be there for Jamie, whose was it?
She’d been there for him since they were kids.
It was hard to hold back. But Matt was right.
Jamie was a grown man, and he would want to be treated as one.
He was finding his feet, and one day, those feet might take him somewhere else. Maybe far away.
Deciding not to peer in the window of the café as she passed, Alice scurried by, thinking it for the best. There was no way she wanted to act as though she were Jamie’s mum.
It was so hard though, as the need to at least wave if she caught his eye was strong. But she dipped her head and carried on her way.
‘Hey, Angel,’ called Jamie.
She turned to see him leaning out the door of the café, tea towel slung over one shoulder.
‘You not going to pop in to say hello?’ He was smiling.
Alice rushed up to him, quickly stopping herself from giving him a huge hug. ‘I have to get back.’
Jamie seemed to be studying her face. ‘Not checking on me then?’
Alice went for her best innocent look. ‘Me?’
‘Let me make you a coffee.’
‘Oh, no, I don’t want to get in your way. I have to . . .’ Alice found herself suddenly in the warmth of Harbour Light Café. She glanced up at the fishing nets hanging above and the fake seagulls, then looked down at the seat she was placed onto.
‘I’ve got a ten-minute break,’ he told her. ‘So I’ll join you.’
Alice smiled as he set about making them coffee, but Matt’s advice whirled in her mind, and Jamie had seemed to know she was only by the café because he was working inside. Now she didn’t know how to act.
Jamie put the mugs on the table and sat by her side. ‘You look frozen.’ His smile was soft. ‘You been fretting?’
She met his eyes and decided not to lie. He always knew when she was anyway, so there really wasn’t any point. ‘I was going to look in on you, but then I changed my mind. You’re a grown man, and you don’t need me fussing.’
Jamie mocked hurt. ‘But I’ve always loved your fussing.’
She figured she could still do a little, just hold off when it came to things like his therapy. ‘How’s it been?’ she asked quietly, glancing around at the three customers huddled at a back table, tucking in to an all-day breakfast.
‘I haven’t stolen the cutlery. So, so far so good.’
‘That’s not funny, Jamie.’
He lightly tapped her knuckles. ‘I’ve had a good morning. No more worrying.’
Alice felt her neck heat a little at his touch. ‘If I come on too strong, please say. I don’t want you to ever feel smothered by me.’
Jamie frowned. ‘Where’s that coming from?’
She didn’t want to tell him she had just been talking about him to her friends, so she simply shrugged.
Jamie brought his hand to his heart and held it there for a moment. ‘You, Angel, have never done anything but show me love. And it all sits right here. I don’t want you looking at me and overthinking. Let’s just be the us we know.’ He lowered his hand. ‘Have I ever told you to back off?’
‘No. You used to just walk away.’ The memory hit of the times she’d try to stop him from going off with Gregg.
‘I won’t be walking away again, Angel,’ he said softly.
Not knowing what to do with that snippet of information, Alice drank her coffee.