Chapter 10
Jamie
Jamie had the feeling someone had got into Alice’s head.
When she had sat with him in the café earlier, he could see her concerns.
Not for one moment, even when in prison, did he expect her to automatically believe he was now a good person.
She couldn’t see into his mind, know what his plans were for the future.
It was obvious he would face some doubts, even from her.
He walked into The Butterfly Company, thoughts only with Alice. He didn’t want her to back away from him. To start acting like a different person. It was unsettling.
Part of him was ready to turn and head home just so he could talk to her.
Get more to the bottom of her thoughts and feelings.
Make it perfectly clear he had no problem with the way she showed how much she cared about people.
About him. Some days, he felt it was only her belief in him holding him up.
‘Jamie! Over here.’ Demi waved from the staircase.
He smiled, heading her way. His chat with Alice would have to wait. ‘I thought I might have seen you on the bus.’
‘I was visiting my brother, so I came from a different direction. How you feeling? Nervous?’
Jamie shook his head. ‘Nah, I’m okay.’
They went into a large room, windows lining one wall. The air smelled of furniture polish, and the carpet looked as though someone had not long given it the once over with a vacuum cleaner. Chairs sat in a circle, and Jamie straight away noticed Henley sitting on one.
Henley stood as Jamie and Demi sat with the others already there. ‘Please welcome newcomer Jamie to the group.’
A few people said hello while others nodded.
Jamie felt far from new. Surrounded by ex-offenders was something he was quite used to. Although, in prison, they were inmates, and not everyone had the desire to go straight when they got out.
He sat and listened to a couple of men talk about their experiences since being released. One seemed to struggle with his family, and the other with holding down a job.
Working in the café for the best part of the day gave Jamie a real sense of purpose. Not once had he got bored or thought about faster ways to make money. Not that money was ever the reason he did anything.
It was a bit of a relief hearing stories similar to his own, and even though he felt sorry for the people in his group for all they’d been through, he was glad he wasn’t alone, because quite often, that’s exactly how he felt.
‘Jamie, would you care to share anything today?’ asked Henley. ‘Don’t feel obligated. No one is expected to talk on their first time, but just know you can.’
Jamie wasn’t sure what he could add that hadn’t already been mentioned. Demi was giving him a reassuring smile, and the others seemed friendly enough. He thought for a moment, then decided to get something off his chest.
‘In your own time,’ said Henley softly.
‘Well, I guess what I want to know is, do you reach a point where you feel like chucking in the towel and going back to your old life because no one is willing to believe you’ve changed?
’ Jamie noticed Demi frown slightly at him.
‘I’m not at that stage myself,’ he added.
‘I’ve not been out five minutes, and I’m hopeful for my future, but I am curious. ’
Demi’s hand lifted a touch. ‘May I answer?’
Henley nodded. ‘Of course, Demi.’
Demi glanced around the group before placing her gaze on Jamie.
‘I had a tough time with my family at first. I didn’t blame them.
How could they just believe me when I’m a recovering addict?
But it was hard not having that belief, I won’t lie.
However, I found it made me believe in myself extra hard.
I had to be the one in charge of what happened to me next.
You can’t live your life worrying what everyone else thinks of you.
You have to think highly of yourself.’ She looked around the circle.
‘So anytime you feel like giving up just because someone else doesn’t believe in you, that’s your alarm letting you know you need to up your game and believe in yourself. ’
Jamie smiled warmly while one woman quietly clapped and a young man gave Demi a fist bump.
‘And those are the wise words we’ll end this session with,’ said Henley. ‘Thank you, Demi.’
Jamie followed her over to the table where tea, coffee, and biscuits were set up. ‘You’ve really got it together, haven’t you?’
Demi poured herself a tea. ‘Had to fight for myself, Jamie. It didn’t happen overnight, and though I have the most amazing man in my life now, I would still fight for myself even if Robson left me, because the one thing life has taught me is, this is my journey, and I get to call the shots.
’ She looked up and smiled. ‘It would break my heart if Robson left me, but I wouldn’t let it break me. Do you understand what I’m saying?’
He nodded. ‘Yeah. Be in control of yourself.’
‘For your own sake. We humans can be quite fragile. Best to build on our independence. If we gain support along the way, that’s okay, but never let go of being the hero of your own story, because, trust me, being the damsel in distress in the tale sucks.’
Jamie breathed out a quiet laugh. ‘I know what you mean.’
Her words had made him think back to how he’d found unhealthy ways to cope with his stress. Allowing others to take the wheel, guide him into the danger zones.
When he’d discovered he could study in prison, possibly make something of himself on release, parts of him fell into place as though they should have been there all along. It was a major turning point in his life.
But his thoughts went back to Alice. His rock. The only constant in his life. Demi was right with what she said, and he knew he shouldn’t rely heavily on Alice’s kindness, but he felt so attached to her.
Unlike Demi, who would clearly survive no matter who left her, he was quite sure he’d crumble away to nothing if anything happened to Alice. Nobody knew how strong their bond was but them. He needed to speak to her tonight to straighten a few things.
The bus ride home with Demi seemed to take longer than normal, not helped by the driver stopping to remove two drunk women dressed as elves singing Christmas songs at the top of their voices while pressing the bell over and over, annoying everyone.
Demi gave him a hug outside the pub, then entered the front beer garden to cuddle up to Robson, collecting glasses.
Robson glanced over her shoulder, spotting Jamie. It was obvious he wanted to say something, so Jamie remained on the pavement, waiting.
‘Long time no see,’ said Jamie.
Robson approached with Demi holding his hand. ‘Hello, Jamie. I would ask how you’re getting on, but Demi hasn’t stopped singing your praises.’
Demi beamed his way. ‘Jamie deserves praise.’
He smiled at how encouraging she always was. ‘I’ve not done much yet, but I’m getting there.’
‘Glad to hear things are looking up.’ Robson’s piercing blue eyes were almost boring into him. ‘I’ll see you here tomorrow for dinner.’
Jamie figured that was his way of saying goodnight. ‘Yes, I’m looking forward to it.’
‘So are we,’ said Demi.
Unlike Demi, Robson had lived in the Jolly Pirate all his life, so he knew Jamie well. And being a few years older, Robson remembered more about the Stark family, so Jamie had to wonder why Robson was being friendly now.
With little thought, Jamie blurted, ‘Sorry about my dad.’
Robson’s head bobbed slightly as Demi frowned.
‘I know he caused a lot of trouble in your pub,’ Jamie added. He looked at Demi. ‘He was a nasty drunk.’
‘Who got barred in the end,’ Robson told Demi.
She turned to Jamie. ‘No need to apologize for him. It wasn’t your fault.’
‘Just felt the need to say sorry.’ Jamie gestured at the B&B. ‘Anyway, best get back.’
Robson took a step forward. ‘Well, like Demi said, what your dad was like wasn’t your fault. Feel free to come inside anytime you like. You’re more than welcome.’
Jamie noticed Demi give her partner a gentle squeeze of the arm as she smiled his way. ‘Thanks.’
They went their separate ways, and Jamie couldn’t help but stare at the pavement, thinking of the times his father had walked the short route from the B&B to the pub. He could hear his slur and smell the stale fumes of booze mingled with cigarettes.
He stopped at the front of the pathway, frowning at Benny bent over by the bush. ‘Benny, you all right down there, mate?’
Benny shot up, startled. ‘You made me jump.’
‘Sorry. What you doing in the bush?’
‘Picking up Mr Pilkington. Well, what’s left of him.’
Jamie chuckled. ‘Nan’s gnome. Blimming heck, I didn’t even know that old thing was still about.’
Benny straightened, holding up a headless gnome. ‘He went missing last month, then came back tonight. But look what’s happened.’
Jamie went closer for a better look. ‘Is his head down there?’
‘Nope. Just this.’ Benny frowned. ‘Why would someone do this?’
‘Have you just found it?’
‘Someone banged on the door, so I came out and noticed the gnome on the doorstep. I was looking to see if the rest of it had been dumped nearby.’
Jamie glanced up the street. ‘Bit weird.’
‘Yeah, like the phone calls Alice gets.’ Benny held up the gnome. ‘Is this place haunted?’
‘Not sure I believe in ghosts. Whoever did this was alive, you can bet on that.’ Jamie went to go inside, when it dawned on him what else the lad had said. ‘Hang on, what phone calls?’
‘Started last month. Went on for about a week. The phone at the desk rings, no one replies when Alice says hello. Happened a few times today as well. Alice checked the line. Everything’s working okay.’ He passed the gnome to Jamie. ‘What do you think Mabel would want us to do with Mr Pilkington?’
Jamie took the garden ornament over to the desk, his mind more on the phone calls Alice was receiving.
She came out from the back, glancing at the gnome with curiosity. ‘Where’s that come from?’
Benny answered. ‘It was on the doorstep. Whoever was banging left it there, no doubt. I’m going to check the footage.’
Alice lifted the old thing. ‘Oh, what a shame. Mabel loved him. I’m sure he’s as old as me.’
Jamie turned to her. ‘What’s this I hear about dodgy phone calls?’
She sighed. ‘I don’t know. If it’s someone messing about, I’m sure they’ll get bored soon enough.’
‘Do you know if that sort of thing was happening when Nan owned the place?’
Alice shook her head. ‘She never mentioned anything. And I’m sure she would have told me.’
Jamie hoped it was kids messing about. Perhaps one of Benny’s friends trying to prank him.
‘I don’t think anything went wrong when Mabel was in charge.
’ Alice blew out a short laugh. ‘I think I’m jinxed.
Maybe Seaview doesn’t like me. Let’s face it, since I’ve been here, we’ve had a fire, the gnome taken — now brought back headless, the phone calls where no one speaks, and our fairy lights taken down and stuffed in the bush. How’s that for luck?’
It wasn’t his thought process. ‘Has Benny got any enemies you know of?’
Alice laughed. ‘Enemies? Who do you think he is, a gangster? He didn’t pay up so they beheaded our gnome.’
‘I just meant kids can do silly things when they fall out with each other.’
Alice glanced over her shoulder at the opened door to their living quarters.
‘Benny is one of those people who has magic about him. No matter who he meets, they love him. Seriously, he has that many friends, I’ve lost count.
Anyway, I did ask him if he had fallen out with someone back when we had the small fire, but he said he hadn’t. ’
Benny’s voice called out as he approached the desk. ‘It’s that man in the balaclava again.’
Jamie and Alice quickly joined him to home in on the laptop.
‘Who the bloody hell is he?’ snapped Alice.
‘Local idiot, judging by what he keeps doing,’ said Benny. ‘Should we report him again?’
Alice shook her head. ‘And say what? He returned our gnome.’
‘Have you got the footage of him taking it in the first place?’ asked Jamie.
‘No,’ replied Benny. ‘We didn’t notice it was gone until someone passing asked where it was. Could have been gone weeks for all we knew.’
Alice groaned. ‘If I see him do one more thing to this place, I’m calling the police again. Bloody nuisance he is.’
Jamie placed the gnome beneath the counter just in case the head showed up at some point and they could glue it back on. He could see Alice was annoyed so thought it best to leave his deep and meaningful with her to another day. Right now, she needed a hot chocolate and a snuggle with her blanket.
‘I’m going to save a file just for unexplained and weird behaviour around here,’ said Benny, taking his laptop to his bedroom.
Alice turned to Jamie. ‘Well, never mind all that. How did it go this evening at group?’
Jamie smiled softly. ‘It went well. Now I’m thinking PJs and a funny film.’
Alice’s expression softened. ‘Ooh, I like the sound of that.’
‘And hot choccy with marshmallows.’ He winked, then waited for her to go out back before heading to his room. He was going to do more than build a file on the masked man. One way or another, he was going to make it his business to expose the thug.