Chapter 25
Alice
Even though she was just having another dinner with Jamie, Alice found herself faffing about in her bedroom with her clothes. She had told herself off more than once for making a fuss. It was just dinner at home, in the kitchen.
The smell of something roasting in the oven wafted her way, making her mouth water, and seeing how she wanted to act natural about things, she wiped off the lipstick she’d just applied, leaving some blusher and mascara in place.
Alice raised her palms as she stared in the tall floor mirror. ‘Just stop.’ Taking a breath, she slipped into her comfy trousers and blouse, then made her way to the kitchen to see if Jamie needed any help.
Jamie was crouched in front of the oven, concentrating on the timer in his hand. He didn’t even notice her enter.
Alice took a peek at the list on the worktop, recognizing Demi’s handwriting, and smiled to herself. It seemed she wasn’t the only one making a fuss. She dramatically cleared her throat to gain attention.
Jamie’s head shot around. ‘Oh, hello. Come in. Take a seat. I’m about to get everything out the oven in two minutes.’
Alice widened her eyes on seeing how the table was decorated. Christmas crackers and gold napkins, holly around a white pillar candle, and cutlery and glasses all in place with a bottle of chilled white wine.
A buzzer went off, and Jamie began draining vegetables, carving chicken, and serving up roast potatoes and pigs in blankets.
‘Are we having some sort of Christmas dinner?’ asked Alice, pouring a glass of wine.
‘Yep.’
She sat, straightening her blouse, then poured Jamie a drink as well. ‘It smells delicious.’
‘I won’t lie, I got help from Demi, so there should be no food poisoning. I wanted to make sure this chicken was cooked thoroughly, so if it’s a little overcooked, that’s why.’
Alice smiled as he put a roast dinner in front of her. ‘Ooh, lovely, thank you.’
Jamie sat opposite and took an obvious breath.
‘A little hot there, Jamie?’
He fanned his face with his hand. ‘Just a touch.’
‘You’ll have to cook more often, then you’ll get used to it.’
‘I felt like an octopus at one point.’
‘When you do it a lot, you get used to the timing of everything.’
He sipped his wine. ‘That’s why I asked Demi. I have no idea how she does this for a living.’
Alice chuckled. ‘She loves it.’
‘Next time, I’ll just throw in some oven chips.’
‘And I’m sure I’ll enjoy that too.’ She stuck her fork into a roasted slice of parsnip.
Jamie raised his glass. ‘Cheers.’
Alice put her food down to clink glasses with him. ‘Merry Christmas.’
‘I know it’s Christmas soon, but we’re sharing that day with so many others — I just wanted to have a Christmas moment with you.’
Alice smiled warmly. ‘I knew you had something more up your sleeve than just dinner. You looked shifty all through lunch.’
Jamie laughed. ‘Shifty?’
‘Yeah, you always have guilt in your eyes when you’re up to something.’
‘Oh, is that right?’
‘Yep. Been like that since you were a kid.’
‘Well, I wasn’t being shifty. I just wanted dinner to be perfect.’
Alice swallowed some chicken. ‘You don’t have to go to all this trouble with me, but I know where you’re coming from, and I appreciate you.’
Jamie grinned. ‘I appreciate you — and this was important to me. Every Christmas in prison, I used to pretend I was sitting with you like this. It helped get me through the day. I knew I wouldn’t always see you on Boxing Day, so my imagination was all I had. It was a hard time of year.’
‘You won’t ever have to have another Christmas like that again.’
‘I know, but I needed one like this with you.’ He picked up a small red box from the chair by his side. ‘I even bought you a present for today.’
Alice’s heart fluttered on seeing the affection in his eyes.
‘I want you to know how much you mean to me. How my life is better because of you.’ He passed her the box. ‘Open it. This one can’t wait till Christmas.’
Taking a silent steady breath, Alice opened the box to see a gold necklace inside with a small angel attached. ‘Oh, it’s lovely! Thank you.’ She put it on at once. ‘I feel like I should have bought you something for tonight now.’
‘No, this was about me living my Christmas dream.’
Alice held her angel as she glanced at the candle. ‘So, is this how you saw us, right here in this spot?’
‘Mostly. Sometimes in the dining room, other times we’d be in a cottage.’ He gave a small shrug. ‘It didn’t really matter where we were. It was about sharing the day.’
‘I used to think about you a lot that day. I always hoped you were happy, that the day wasn’t too bad.’
Jamie reached for her hand. ‘I have so many regrets, Alice.’
She gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. ‘I know you do.’
He sniffed and sat back. ‘Well, I wasn’t expecting this dinner to take a nosedive. Right, let’s perk up.’ He handed her a Christmas cracker to pull. ‘We have good times now.’
Alice picked up the silver paper hat that fell out of the cracker and placed it on her head. ‘We do. But it’s okay to get things off your chest.’
‘I don’t really need to get anything off my chest. It’s more the past haunting me every so often.’
‘You haven’t been out five minutes. Give it time. You’re still adjusting.’
‘I just get annoyed with myself when I think about how much we’ve missed out on because of me.’
Alice had him pull the other cracker so he, too, could wear a festive hat. ‘If we were both thinking of each other on Christmas Day, we were kind of together.’
Jamie smiled. ‘You always make everything sound better.’
Alice bit into a potato and grinned. ‘It’s true though,’ she said, through her mouthful.
‘Well, I much prefer this kind of together.’ He put on a red hat and winked.
‘Perfect.’
Jamie chuckled. ‘You look adorable.’
‘Silver hats are my thing.’
‘How’s the dinner going down?’
Alice made a show of rubbing her stomach. ‘Mmm, lovely.’ She giggled. ‘I’ll thank Demi tomorrow.’
‘Oi, cheeky!’
‘Eat up, then we can do more Christmas stuff,’ she said.
‘Like what?’
She watched him tuck into his food. He always seemed to eat faster than most. It was as though he was on a timer. ‘Board games. Bit of a boogie.’
Jamie choked. ‘Boogie?’
‘We need to rock around the Christmas tree.’
Jamie shot out of his chair. ‘Let’s do that now. Come on.’
Before she had a chance to respond, he had her out in the foyer by the tree, slow dancing to music that wasn’t playing.
Alice laughed. ‘We haven’t finished our dinner.’
‘I want to do it all with you.’
‘And you can. We’ve got time.’ A sudden unwanted thought occurred, making Alice’s stomach churn. She stopped dancing and pulled back to look into his eyes.
Jamie frowned. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘You tell me.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Why are you rushing?’
Jamie shook his head slightly. ‘I’m just mucking about.’
Alice took a steady breath. ‘Jamie, are you sick again?’
His head tilted to one side as his shoulders dropped. ‘Oh, Alice. Is that what you think?’
‘It just hit me, that’s all. You’re acting like we won’t have another Christmas together. Like you want to wrap it up right here and now because you know something I don’t.’ She blinked back tears at the thought. He reached for her hand but she pulled away.
‘Hey.’ Jamie’s voice was hushed as he moved closer to her. ‘I’m okay. I promise. I would tell you if I weren’t. You have my word.’
She didn’t mean for the tear to escape her eye and quickly swiped it away. ‘Do you plan to leave?’
‘I told you before, I’m not going anywhere.
’ He motioned towards the door. ‘The only way I’m leaving is if you tell me to.
’ He reached for her hand again, and this time she let him hold her.
‘I’m not ill. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just overwhelmed and a little too excited because I wanted this so badly with you.
’ He gave a small shake of the head. ‘I didn’t think this would worry you, but I can see how it has. ’
Alice inhaled deeply. ‘I just got scared for a moment. I’m sorry.’
He lifted her chin. ‘Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for.’
‘I’ve ruined our night now.’
‘No, you haven’t. We had a misunderstanding, that’s all. And I’ll let you into a little secret — we’ll probably have loads more over the years because we’re going to share a lot of years together.’
She warmed at his soft tone and kind smile. ‘I want all the years, Jamie.’
He lowered his head so their lips were inches apart.
Lizzie opened the front door and stood there staring at them. ‘Interrupting something, am I?’
Alice stepped back from Jamie. ‘Mum. What are you doing here?’
Lizzie raised the two carrier bags she was holding. ‘Bringing over some of Benny’s presents to put beneath your tree out back. Perhaps you should lock the door if you’re going to be intimate.’
Alice squirmed on the inside as she watched her mother glare at Jamie, and he seemed to notice as well.
‘Look, Liz, I know you don’t think I’m good enough for your daughter, but—’
‘Oh, what gave you that idea, son?’ Lizzie’s tone was filled with sarcasm, and Alice didn’t know what to say.
Jamie’s chest rose and fell steadily. ‘I just want you to know I’d never do anything to hurt Alice.’
‘Oh, is that right? And your word is as good as . . . What exactly?’ Lizzie lifted one bag, attempting to circle a finger. ‘With all the stunts you pulled around here, your word is suddenly worth something, is it?’
‘Mum, I thought you were giving Jamie a second chance.’
Lizzie’s lips pursed for a moment. ‘I was. I am. I just would prefer it if he . . . Well, if he . . .’
‘Wasn’t around your daughter,’ said Jamie.
Lizzie didn’t correct him.
‘Mum, please. You’re not being very fair. He hasn’t put a foot wrong since he’s been out. Doesn’t that show you anything?’
Jamie sighed. ‘I get that you don’t trust me. It’s early days, but you’ll see how much I care about Alice. How I won’t ruin her life.’
Lizzie scoffed. ‘No, you already did that once, didn’t you?’
‘I was an idiot. I made mistakes and I got arrested. That wouldn’t happen now.’
‘And I’m just supposed to take your word for it, am I?’ Lizzie’s voice was a little louder.
‘No,’ snapped Jamie. ‘But you’ll see. I’m telling you, Alice is fine with me. I won’t hurt her.’
Lizzie dropped one bag and slapped her chest with a thud. ‘How do you expect me to believe that when I know what you’re capable of?’
‘I’m asking you to try and have a little faith.’
‘Why did you come back here, Jamie? Why my daughter? She’s nothing but a roof over your head to you, isn’t she?’
‘She’s more than that.’
‘No, she’s not.’
‘She’s my wife!’ Jamie yelled.
Alice gasped, placing a hand over her mouth. ‘Jamie!’
Lizzie dropped the other bag as Jamie stormed out.