Chapter 27
Alice
Alice felt totally exhausted. Over and over, she explained why she married Jamie, but her mother remained enraged and wasn’t listening properly. Benny asked more questions than she could handle, and Luna had arrived, telling them she sensed trouble.
A snowstorm chose to enter the fray, and now Alice was trapped inside with everyone for the night because she wasn’t about to chuck them out into a blizzard, even if they did just live around the corner.
‘Well, I can’t say I saw this one, Alice,’ said Luna, snuggling over by the wood burner.
‘It’s a bloody joke, that’s what it is,’ snapped Lizzie, slumping to the sofa, showing no signs of calming anytime soon. ‘Of all the stupid things.’
‘I think it’s nice what Alice did for Jamie,’ said Benny, leaning against the door frame of his bedroom. ‘They thought he was going to die.’
Lizzie’s hand shot out towards Alice. ‘She should have waited for his results first!’
‘Well, perhaps I wanted to marry him!’ yelled Alice. She clutched one side of her aching head. ‘Did you think about that?’
‘The lad was a walking disaster. Why would you tie yourself to something so destructive? You’re making no sense, girlie.’
‘It made sense at the time.’
Benny approached Luna. ‘Do you want some tea, Granny?’
‘I think something stronger might be in order, my boy.’ Luna pointed at the small kitchenette. ‘Drop of sweet sherry wouldn’t go amiss.’
Lizzie scoffed. ‘Yes, Mum, let’s all get drunk. Perhaps then our Alice will no longer be married to a loser.’
Alice clenched her fists. ‘He’s not a loser.’
Lizzie spun her way. ‘Why are you the only one who doesn’t remember the trouble he used to get into, hmm?’
‘I do remember. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? He used to do those things. He doesn’t anymore. Just because you found out we’re married, doesn’t change anything. You should still be giving him a chance.’
‘Chance? Chance!’ yelled Lizzie. ‘Don’t talk to me about chances, Alice Dipple — though I can’t call you that now, can I? Alice Stark ! I’ve got one daughter left, and I didn’t get the chance to see her walk down the aisle when she got wed. How do you expect me to feel about that, eh?’
‘We’re all upset by that, love,’ said Luna softly, smiling at Benny for pouring her a drink. ‘It would have been nice to have been there for your big day.’
‘It wasn’t a proper wedding. It was his bucket list, and that’s why I didn’t tell you.
’ Alice slumped into an armchair. ‘You wouldn’t have let me go through with it had you known — I wasn’t stupid.
I knew you didn’t like him back then.’ She shook her head.
‘I just assumed you’d be okay with him now, seeing how he’s a different person. A better person.’
‘I can sense the good in him.’ Luna raised her glass of sherry a touch.
‘He was troubled, Liz. Still is a bit, but his head and heart are in the right place now.’ She glanced at Alice.
‘You’re a good person, a little too nice at times, and perhaps you shouldn’t have married the fella, but it’s done now. ’
Lizzie shook her head. ‘Why didn’t you get a divorce? Ten years, you said, and what, no mention of it?’
Alice shrugged. ‘What did it matter? Neither of us had plans to marry someone else.’
‘All makes sense now, Mum,’ said Lizzie.
‘All these years and no boyfriends except once, and I’ve not got it in me to talk about Alan right now.
’ She waggled a hand at Alice. ‘See what you’ve done to yourself.
You could have had a lovely life with a man, but this was hanging over you, wasn’t it? Holding you back.’
In some ways, Alice knew that to be true so didn’t have much of an argument.
There had been times when she’d thought about moving on with her life, which was why she tried to have a relationship with Alan for all of seven months, but it never felt right in her heart.
She knew she was tied to Jamie, with or without the bucket-list marriage.
If she didn’t have such a bond with him, she’d never have stayed in contact with him while he was locked away, bucket-list marriage or not.
Benny yawned. ‘I’m going to bed.’ He turned to look at Alice. ‘And just so you know, I don’t have a problem with Jamie. I think he’s nice, and from what I saw, he makes you happy.’
Alice smiled and said goodnight, losing her warmth as soon as she saw her mum’s glare. ‘Benny and Jamie get along.’
Lizzie folded her arms, getting comfortable on the sofa. ‘At least that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about.’
‘You don’t have to worry about anything, Mum. Nothing’s changed except you now know about the marriage. Jamie will still rebuild his life, I’ll still be here making the best of the B&B, and we’ll all just get on with our lives the way we’d planned.’
‘Don’t make it sound like it’s not complicated.’
‘You’re the only one complicating things, Mum.’
Lizzie shook her head. ‘This isn’t normal, love. The way you are with him. The way you’ve always been, then doing something daft like having a bucket-list wedding when he wasn’t even dying. How do you expect anyone to understand you?’
She had never expected anyone to understand the way she was with Jamie. She’d faced many questions about him over the years.
‘You’ve got to calm down, Liz,’ said Luna. ‘The past is done. Alice is a grown woman now and—’
‘And not much has changed with her when it comes to Jamie Stark.’
‘We’re not hurting anyone, Mum.’
Lizzie turned to her. ‘You hurt me, girlie. I’m your mother and you weren’t even going to tell me you married someone.’
‘Only because I knew how you’d react.’
Lizzie blew out a sarcastic laugh. ‘At least I know the truth of why he came here.’ She circled a finger in the air. ‘Got his half of this place now, hasn’t he? You do realize that, don’t you? As your husband, if you divorce or you die, he gets his home back.’
‘I made a will, leaving everything to Benny.’
Luna sat up. ‘I don’t know what the law is like with these things, but would Jamie have that much of a say if they didn’t consummate the marriage?
I mean, she only married him to do him a favour.
It’s not like they made it that real. She could get an annulment, then I’m sure the business would be safe. ’
Alice felt her cheeks heat, and she was glad Benny was in bed.
Lizzie sighed loudly. ‘Oh, you didn’t, did you?’ She shook her head in disbelief. ‘She slept with him, Mum.’
Luna’s eyes widened. ‘Ooh, you are just full of secrets, aren’t you, Alice Dipple-Stark?’
Avoiding all eyes wasn’t doing much for Alice, and her wedding night wasn’t something she wished to discuss with her mum and nan.
Being in Jamie’s arms beneath the covers that night was the most magical thing that had ever happened to her, and even though she knew it was just to make their wedding real, of sorts, for him, she had held on to the moment so dearly, pulling it out of its box each time she needed comfort.
Alice inhaled slowly. ‘I get that this upset you, I really do. But in all honesty — everything else is none of your business. The B&B is secure in my name and will go to Benny to do whatever he wants with when I’m gone.
As for Jamie, he has his own plans for his life.
We got married, and yes, we had sex — so what?
We were grown-ups. We’re different people now, and we’re just trying to live a normal and peaceful life. ’
‘Tell me why you won’t divorce him?’ Lizzie asked so quietly, Alice barely heard.
‘He’s never asked for one.’
Lizzie looked her directly in the eyes. ‘Why haven’t you asked for one?’
‘I don’t want one. I’m happy how I am.’
‘But you don’t have a proper marriage, love.’ Lizzie’s tone was calmer now. Gentle.
‘It’s not really something I pour my energy into, Mum. I’ve got this place and Benny to concentrate on. I don’t think about marriage.’
‘You spent eight years of your life keeping that man part of your day when you didn’t have to while he was locked away. So it’s quite clear that work and motherhood aren’t the only things you think about.’ Lizzie sighed and sat back.
‘I don’t think about marriage. Even when I decided to start dating and met Alan, I wasn’t thinking about marriage.’
Silence sat between them for a long moment.
‘Your mum has had a shock, Alice,’ said Luna. ‘Everything will be all right soon enough.’
Lizzie wrinkled her nose. ‘Will it?’
Luna sipped her sherry. ‘Don’t see why not. They’re happy with the way things are between them. As long as that’s the case, then let them get on with it, I say. Our Alice is safe and cared for, and that’s what matters.’
Alice wasn’t sure about much after Jamie blurted their secret.
Maybe she was safe and cared for, but did he have any respect for her?
Did he tell her mum just to be spiteful to Lizzie?
She covered her angel necklace with one hand, wondering what was going through Jamie’s mind.
It wasn’t as though she could call him to ask — he didn’t have a phone.
Not that she wanted to talk to him just yet.
Taking a deep breath, she went out to the foyer to double-check the main door was locked. Even if she wanted Jamie to come home, he wouldn’t be able to travel in the blizzard.
The door was fine, so she grabbed the spare key to his room and headed upstairs.
Most of Jamie’s things were still there, Will only having packed some overnight bits.
Alice watched the snow for a while battering the balcony. There had been many times she’d missed the warm touch of Jamie Stark, but tonight, she felt lonelier than ever.
With a pounding head and eyes half open, Alice curled up on his bed and hugged his pillow. No, she didn’t have a real marriage, and no she didn’t have a man declaring his love for her each night. But she did have the memory of their one night where they were joined in every way.
Jamie had been so tender. His lips peppered kisses all along her jawline and neck.
His eyes had shown affection each time he gazed at her beneath him.
He had stroked her hair back and cupped her face, asked if she was okay, and held her tightly.
The whole night had become frozen in time.
A time she didn’t want to end. And Jamie had kept her in his arms till the sun came up and a new day began.
Alice closed her eyes and fell asleep, warm with her memory. But still so angry at him for breaking his promise.