Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
NOAH
Evie’s skating was so easy and effortless, it was a shock when I finally got onto the ice. I’d forgotten just how fish-out-of-water the uncomfortable boots and the precarious, slippery and unforgiving surface made me feel.
After only two tentative pushes forward one skate took off without me and I did that cartoon running on the spot, trying to stay upright. Evie laughed but grabbed me around the middle and held me upright.
‘This is the bit where I get to kiss you,’ I said, holding her waist. Standing stationary, I felt quite stable.
She sighed and lifted her face. I tucked her hair back over her shoulder.
The funny little hat she wore suited her.
Her lips were cold, but she pulled me closer and I almost forgot where we were until some little punk skated past and yelled, ‘Get a room, you geriatrics,’ and my phone began to ring again.
‘Do you want to get that?’ asked Evie.
I shook my head. ‘I think I should focus on staying upright.’
‘You’re doing just fine,’ she said and took my hand.
I carefully pushed my feet forward one at a time and despite being very wobbly managed to keep my balance.
Keeping to the edge, I made sure that I was in hand’s length of the barrier as I gingerly crept forward.
After almost a full circuit, my confidence increased although I’d hoped I might be better than this.
It was a bit galling. There weren’t many sports that I didn’t take naturally to.
Golf, tennis, squash, running and even dancing, I’d always had a natural aptitude at most physical pursuits.
Music started up and a loud waltz played.
The memory of Grand Central Station slipped into my head, and Evie and I exchanged looks.
She smiled one of those ‘couple smiles’, reminding me of Sophie and Todd.
The music signalled more activity and lots of people began to speed up and weave around the rink in a more rhythmic way.
Evie looked longingly at a girl who was sweeping round the rink confidently.
Another skater, a man, crossed her path and the two of them, glided in and out of each other in a smooth dance.
She was laughing, her head thrown back and he was skating backwards alongside her.
Then the man swapped to another woman and another man took his place.
‘You can go and join them,’ I said.
She glanced at them and then back at me.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes. I’ll stay close to the edge.’
‘I’ll be right back,’ she said and swept off to join the fun in the middle.
I was doing fine, building up a bit of speed and I liked to think that I looked a lot less klutzy.
Determined to improve – although I had a long way to go to catch Evie – I decided that I’d do a complete circuit without grabbing the rail once.
The push-and-glide combo was coming more easily now, along with a sense of accomplishment.
Out of the corner of my eye I watched Evie breeze by with a huge smile on her face.
She looked so free and happy, and I got it.
There was something about the motion, the lack of friction and the smooth glide that I was determined to conquer.
‘You’re doing well,’ said Evie, coming to a graceful stop and turn beside me.
‘Yeah.’ I grinned at her. ‘This is fun.’
‘Told you,’ she said, playful as ever. ‘Come on.’
Together we circled the rink, and I stopped trying so hard, letting myself enjoy the rhythm and flow, feeling the air ruffling my hair.
‘Do you miss playing football?’ asked Evie. ‘I get twitchy when I haven’t been skating for a while.’
‘Yes. I really miss it. I miss the routine, the train—’ The words were ripped from me in the same way that my feet were ripped from under me.
One minute I was upright the next I was on the floor and watching some guy tearing past, apologising over his shoulder.
I slammed down hard, landing heavily on one knee and pitching forward hitting the ice with my forehead.
I blacked out for a second and when I opened my eyes, I was cheek down on the cold surface and I could see Evie’s skates in front of my face.
‘Noah.’
I lay there for a second trying to figure things out. Pain radiated through my skull and pounded through my knee.
I blinked a couple of times. My head throbbed. A guy, the one who’d taken me out, crouched down beside me.
‘Hey, man, I’m so sorry. You okay. Do you need a hand getting up?’
Between him and Evie, they hauled me up to my feet. The minute I was upright I felt sick and dizzy. I tried to focus but even that was difficult.
Evie’s blurry face was filled with worry.
‘Noah? Are you okay?’ she asked.
‘Mmm,’ I said, still trying to clear my head.
‘Let’s get you off the ice,’ she said, and together with the guy, they somehow shuffled me along the barrier to the nearest exit.
One of the rink employees came over. ‘Hey, man, are you okay. You took quite a fall and hit your head. I’m a first aider. Anything else hurt? Can I take a look?’
I rubbed at my throbbing head and winced.
‘Head and knee.’
‘Looks like you banged your head pretty hard. Did you black out at all?’
I screwed up my face attempting to piece together what had happened. It was all a bit fuzzy. ‘Yeah. I think I did. And I’ve banged up my knee.’
‘You’d better go straight to the emergency room and get checked out. Sounds like you might have a concussion and you should check you’ve not fractured your knee.’ The flood of anxiety that filled me made me wince. That could put me out for months.
‘I’ll call you an ambulance. Then you can get an X-ray. Can you walk to the sick bay?’
I hobbled behind him as he led the way, Evie holding my hand.
‘Yeah. Thanks,’ I said through gritted teeth, the pain exploding when I took a step.
‘Shall I go and get your shoes and things from the locker?’ asked Evie, her face screwed up with worry like an anxious mom. She was obviously desperate to do something useful.
I nodded again and blew out a breath.
‘I’m really sorry, Noah. I feel like this is my fault.’
I shook my head. ‘No. I’m a big boy. It’s just one of those things,’ I said, giving her a pathetic smile, because inwardly I was cursing myself. What a bloody stupid thing to happen and entirely preventable. What had I been thinking?
We reached the sick bay and sat on a long wooden bench.
When Evie returned, she perched beside me and took one of my hands. ‘I’m so sorry.’
I squeezed her hand. That made two of us.
My phone rang again, and Evie pulled it out of her pocket. ‘Do you want to take this?’
I glanced at the screen.
Crap! There were a dozen missed calls, some from Lara, some unknown numbers – and a couple from Marco, the team manager.
He rarely called, he usually got his assistant to message me.
My voicemail had blown up with seven notifications.
What the hell was going on? Grateful for a distraction from the pain, I listened to the messages.
‘Noah. Fuck’s sake, pick up the sodding phone.
Call me as soon as you get this message,’ barked Lara.
‘A story has broken in the press. “Rick Menzies. Habitual steroid user.” You’re off the hook.
His bones have been weakened by the drugs.
The FA have to reinstate you now. Marco wants you back on the team immediately. You need to get on the next plane.’
‘Fuck!’ I said. Quickly, I listened to the rest of the messages. A couple from journalists asking for my reaction and the main one from Marco telling me I needed to get back immediately.
‘What’s the matter?’ asked Evie.
I sank my head into my hands. ‘I don’t fucking believe this.’
‘What’s happened?’
‘My suspension’s been quashed. Turns out Menzies is an addict. It’s got me off the hook.’
‘Oh,’ said Evie. ‘But that’s good news, isn’t it?’
I looked up at her and shook my head, which I immediately regretted when it throbbed.
It was bad enough that my knee had swollen to twice its usual size, without worrying about swelling in my brain.
I had a feeling the hospital might have to cut my jeans off to X-ray it and I was pretty sure I had concussion.
‘Not exactly,’ I said shortly, knowing that I shouldn’t take my frustration out on her. It would be so much easier to blame her. If I hadn’t come skating with her today, everything would be fine. Now … who knew?
‘Do you think you’ve broken something?’ she asked, looking down at my knee, catching her lip between her teeth.
I shrugged. ‘It’s my own fault,’ I said tightly.
Knowing that didn’t make it any better. Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Why had I done this to myself?
I’ve gone years without fucking ice-skating because I knew it was risky.
Shit, it specifically said in my contract, no skiing. What would Marco say about ice skating?
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Stop saying you’re sorry. This isn’t your fault. It’s my own. I knew it was risky and I should have had more sense. Shit.’ I slammed my hand down on the wooden bench and swore again.
Evie closed her mouth, her eyes wide and anxious.
It was my fault for ignoring all the signs. I’d told myself umpteen times to keep my distance from her. Reminded myself several times that I should focus on my training and not allow her to distract me. And what had I done … exactly that. What the fuck was wrong with me?
I sighed and went to unlace my skates and then had to lean back again as my head swam. I blinked.
‘This was a mistake,’ I said, turning to look at her.
Evie opened her mouth, and I glared at her.
‘Wasn’t going to say sorry,’ she muttered. ‘Do you want me to…’ She nodded at the skate on my bad leg.
‘No, it’s fine,’ I said, stretching over and ignoring the pain lancing up my leg.
‘I don’t mean the ice-skating was a mistake, although it was.
I mean this,’ I waved my hand from her to me and back again.
‘Us. We’re too different. You don’t think about consequences.
I’m trying to be more responsible and take fewer risks.
You don’t take responsibility for things.
You came to New York and you’re having a good time, but what will you do with it? ’
‘Do with it. What do you mean?’
‘You never fight back or respond to what happened, or make a plan. You’re a journalist, you could write about your experiences, write about New York. You just drift along having fun. Where’s your purpose in life?’
Evie glowered at me, but I could tell I’d hurt her. Shit, I hadn’t meant to let all that spill out. I just hated that she wasn’t doing more with her life. She had so much energy and potential.
Her chin snapped up and seeing the fire in her eyes was an improvement on seeing the hurt. ‘It’s better than being so driven and determined that you take a man’s legs out from under him with a risky tackle and break them both,’ she spat.
It was like a sucker punch to the stomach. She was right, and the guilt would never go away.
‘Yeah, I know, and I’ll live with that every day of my life but I’ve learned from it. Not to take stupid risks – or rather I should have done. Today is a prime example. I took a stupid risk.’ I make another attempt to take my skates off. ‘I’ve learned my lesson this time.’
‘Hmph,’ said Evie with a disdainful sniff, coming to my rescue and kneeling at my feet, gently undoing my laces. ‘Life is about risk. But there’s a calculation to be made about what you stand to gain and what you stand to lose. I’m always aware of what I’ve got to lose.’
‘Ha!’ I snarled. ‘That’s rich coming from you, who never sticks to anything because there’s a risk you might get attached.’
It was a low blow. I swallowed. ‘Let’s just face it, this was a big mistake.’ Especially now that I might have fallen in love with her along the way.
‘Yeah, you said.’ Evie stared at me, her mouth set in a mutinous line.
‘Surely, you agree. It was a mistake and it’s not as if it was ever going to go anywhere.’ Except I’d kind of been hoping it might.
‘True,’ she said, with one of her trademark shrugs. ‘I knew that.’
Ouch. I thought of the trip I’d made just yesterday, when I’d thought about asking her to spend Christmas Day with me, maybe travelling home together and the gift I’d already put under her tree.
Maybe she hadn’t been that invested in the first place.
We’d been having fun, maybe I read more into it.
I thought… Well, it didn’t matter what I thought now.
I needed to get on a plane home and put as much distance between me and Evie Green as I could.