Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
EVIE
The first guest to arrive was Danny, clutching a few beers.
‘This is for you, Evie. To go under the tree,’ he said, handing over an endearingly badly wrapped parcel. ‘I hope you’ll like it.’ His earnest expression almost finished me off.
‘You didn’t need to do that,’ I said, swallowing hard as more pesky tears filled my eyes when he laid the parcel under the tree like one of the three wise men presenting gold.
I didn’t deserve presents. Or kindness. I was a terrible, useless person.
The last thing I wanted was for anyone to be nice to me.
Noah might have said the accident wasn’t my fault, but he wouldn’t have been on the ice if it weren’t for me. My guts twisted every time I thought of him hitting the ice head-first.
I glanced back at the door, hoping he might walk through it, even if it was just to tell me he was okay. What if he’d fractured his skull? Had a bleed on the brain? How would I know?
He hadn’t answered my text asking if he was still at the hospital.
He might not blame me, but I blamed myself and I wanted to make things right.
I also wanted to know if he really meant that he’d made a mistake, because I wasn’t sure it was a mistake.
For the first time in my life, I wanted to see where things might go.
I caught my lip and realised Danny was staring at me. ‘Thank you. I really wasn’t expecting anything.’
There was a second knock at the door and my heart jumped. Noah? I hurried to open it. ‘Help yourself to a drink,’ I called to Danny.
Disappointment punched hard. Standing on the threshold of the door were Mrs Evans and Monty, along with Carol, Sofia and Angel.
‘Happy holidays,’ said Carol, who handed me another small package. Mrs Evans followed suit, hers beautifully wrapped in expensive paper and a big gold bow.
‘Just a little something from me and Monty. You can put it under the tree.’
Angel also put a large gift bag in my hand. ‘That’s to go under, too.’
‘You weren’t supposed to bring me presents.’ Tears leaked out again and I dashed them away again, hoping no one spotted them. I led them through to the lounge area and I was grateful when Danny took charge. ‘Can I get you ladies a drink?’ he asked.
I put my hands on my hips and summoned up an exasperated expression that had no substance. ‘I’m supposed to be looking after you guys this evening,’ I complained, although I was touched by the way Danny was still looking out for me.
‘You are. You put on a party for us,’ said Carol, patting my arm. I gave her a smile and hoped she couldn’t tell how strained and false it was.
The room filled up with the various people who had looked after me during the last few weeks, but none of them were Noah.
At each knock on the door, my heart gave a thud of hope and with every new arrival the weight of disappointment delivered another punch to the gut.
Surely Noah would be here soon. I’d sent him a long, apologetic voice message and blown any sense of pride by begging him to come to the party. I’d heard nothing.
It wasn’t long before everyone was chattering away drinking wine and helping themselves to the snacks that I’d arranged with the kitchen.
There was a pile of cellophane-wrapped mince pies, which I’d mechanically spent the latter part of the afternoon preparing, grateful for something to do.
They were ready to be given out as gifts as everyone was leaving, complete with a warning label that they were homemade and to be ‘eaten at your own risk’.
‘Where’s Noah?’ asked Angel.
I grimaced. ‘I think he’s at the emergency room. He wouldn’t let me go with him.’
‘Oh, no, he came back hours ago,’ said Carol, with a blithe wave of her hand.
‘What?’ I said and automatically looked at the adjoining wall, wondering if he was on the other side hearing the noise.
‘Was he okay?’ I asked.
‘I think so,’ said Carol. ‘He was just in the elevator doorway. I only saw him briefly, but he looked fine.’
‘No crutches or a bandage around his head?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she laughed.
My lips pursed. I was miffed. Why hadn’t he come round?
At least to let me know how he was? I needed to know that he wasn’t badly injured.
I crossed my fingers. He couldn’t be. I’d fallen plenty of times on the ice, but I’d never broken anything, although plenty of people did.
Once again, I looked at the dividing wall.
Surely, he’d calmed down now and we could talk properly.
I was sure he hadn’t meant what he said at the rink, either; he’d been dazed and angry at the situation.
Glancing around, grateful that everyone was mixing so well and having a good time, I sneaked out of the room and knocked on Noah’s door. There was no answer.
I sighed and knocked again, much harder this time. I knocked a third time.
‘Noah. I know you’re in there,’ I yelled. ‘Stop sulking and come and join the party.’ I jiggled the handle.
I wanted the door to open and for Noah to appear. I wanted to hear him say, ‘It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident.’
I knocked again. ‘Is your head okay?’
Still no response. I waited a little longer but there was no sound from the other side of the door.
Guilt pinched at my stomach. An accident that could have been avoided. That should have been avoided. I’d known the risks and ignored them, because I wanted to show off and realise my stupid dream, which now, in comparison to losing Noah, didn’t mean a thing.
I wondered if I could ask Angel to use her master key to let me check on him. Make sure he was okay.
‘Where’ve you been?’ asked Patrice when I came back in.
‘I was looking to see if Noah was coming to join the party,’ I said with an isn’t-this-all-jolly smile I was far from feeling.
‘Noah?’ said Danny. ‘I put him in a cab to the airport about half an hour ago.’
The words sort of floated around in my head like errant feathers that were impossible to get hold of.
‘What did you say?’ I finally asked.
‘He had to go home. Play soccer.’
‘What about his leg? His head? Did he say anything?’
Danny looked bemused. ‘He was limping a little. I asked him about it. Badly bruised, he said.’
‘And he’s gone?’
Danny nodded. ‘Did he say if he was coming back?’
The doorman’s eyebrows drew together like two caterpillars facing off against each other and he winced. ‘Gave me one hell of a tip. You two had a falling out?’ His face immediately signalled sympathy.
‘No,’ I said, aiming for breezy. Instead, my voice came out as a strangled croak. ‘We were just friends. It was never anything. Just a publicity thing. You know. We both needed some good press.’
Danny frowned but before he could say anything, Mrs Evans interrupted. ‘Evie, this is a simply lovely party. I just wanted to say thank you. Would you and Noah like to join me and Monty at lunch tomorrow?’
‘That would be lovely,’ I said, my ultra-brilliant smile hiding the way I collapsed in on myself inside, wondering when I should tell her Noah had gone.
He hadn’t even said goodbye.