Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
Wearing the heavy woolen dress with the equally heavy velvet cape I got into the SUV with Keely and Abbie.
“You look perfect,” Keely said. “Minimal makeup and your hair a little askew.”
I smiled. “I’ve certainly looked better.”
She shook her head. “There’s something truly appealing in your natural vulnerability. I assure you. Everyone is going to fall in love with you.”
We reached a flat spot of tall grass just outside the forest. The crew was already there and waiting, as was Matthew.
He, too, was a little disheveled, his suit slightly dirty.
Keely hopped out of the SUV the moment it stopped while I lumbered under the cumbersome costume.
“Okay,” Keely called out. “I want to momentarily capture Barry Park down in the distance, but don’t linger,” she told the camera operator.
She then turned to Matthew. “Edmund’s mood is dark and pensive.
.. confused.” She turned to me. “Darling, you’re coming out here to tell Edmund that you are leaving Mansfield Park.
.. leaving for good. That is your intention, even though you never get to express that. ”
“Right.”
“You’re heartbroken but determined to leave.”
“Got it.”
“Places everyone.”
The camera was set on Barry Park then to Edmund while my Fanny came up to him.
“There you are,” I said.
He turned to me, his eyes pained and dark.
“What are you doing out here, Fanny? The rain will pour down any minute now. You’ll be soaked.”
I smiled sadly. “Do you remember when we were children? How the rain only added to our amusement.”
He chuckled softly, his gaze distant. “I do believe we were the only people in all of England to cheer for rain.”
“Even when it was cold and damp, we found ways to amuse ourselves.”
“Racing the horses out of the stable and down to the pond.”
“Or building a shelter with dead branches and leaves.”
“Or sliding through the mud down by the stream.”
He looked at me. “We did have a lot of fun together, didn’t we?”
“I think you took pity on me. Poor little girl with no airs who must endure endless teasing and ridicule.”
“Perhaps at first, but then...”
He stopped as the acknowledgment of his emotions registered in his eyes. He grasped my hands, bringing them to his chest as he enveloped them. “I could always be myself with you. I never played or pretended, never tried to elevate myself in your esteem through lies or exaggerations.”
“I never played or pretended, either.”
“It’s funny, isn’t it?”
“What do you mean?”
“These past weeks, with Mary Crawford... the illusion of something akin to love. She’s a lovely woman, but my pretense was almost constant as I tried to keep up with her social needs.”
Rain began to gently fall.
“Keep rolling,” Keely called out.
“One day, Edmund, you will find the woman who brings out the best in you.”
He smiled faintly. “I think I’ve already found her.” He tightened his hold of my hands as his eyes locked onto mine. “I’ve found her,” he whispered again as he brought his forehead to mine. “Darling.”
My heart pounded and I was no longer acting. The scene played too close to home, and the emotions were real and raw. How would I get through the scene without collapsing?
“I’ve found the woman who lets me be myself. You’ve been right there all along, but I was just too blind to see.”
“Edmund,” I muttered.
“I love you, Fanny. I always have.”
He kissed me, his lips so tender and inviting. Oh, my God. I melted into him, far more than Fanny was supposed to. He wrapped me up in his arms, our chests colliding as gentle rain fell on our cheeks and over our kiss.
“Cut!” Keely called. “Beautiful. That’s a wrap.”
Her voice was so far away, and the subsequent movements of the crew seemed at a great distance as well.
“I love you, Darling,” Matthew whispered through the kiss.
“Well,” Keely said. “In case you two are interested, that is a wrap, and we’re off to celebrate.”
We turned to her then and smiled.
“We’ll see you both back at the house.” She got back into the SUV with Abbie while the small crew got into their truck and left us.
Matthew quickly cupped my cheeks and brought my attention back to him, kissing me with such passion.
“I don’t understand,” I finally said when he pulled away from the kiss.
“I think I barely understand it myself.”
“Susie? What about Susie?”
He smiled. “You mean Mary Crawford?”
I looked quizzically at him.
“I think I let myself get caught up in the magic of it all, the romance, the fantasy. Edmund and I became one, just as Susie and Mary became one. Then I saw you with Ricky.” He chuckled.
“That kind of threw me for a loop. I didn’t really know how I felt about it.
So, I plunged deeper into the fantasy of Susie, or Mary.
.. depending on how you want to look at it. ”
“You never said anything.”
“What could I say?”
“What would you have wanted to say?”
He smiled and cast his gaze to the ground for a moment. “That I hated seeing you with him. That he was a scoundrel and didn’t deserve you.”
“And yet you seemed to applaud the possibility of him proposing to me.”
“False bravado,” he said simply. “Fake stoicism. And a lot of confusion, I confess.”
We walked on and while half of me was giddy with happiness, I still had so many questions. He had proposed to Susie. He had bought a ring specifically for her. Had she turned him down? Was I simply the consolation prize?
I turned to confront him. “What did Susie say about that pink diamond?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Nothing. She never saw it.”
“But... the proposal... the engagement. Everyone’s talking about it.”
He shook his head. “Oh, yes. The big Barry wedding.”
“That’s right.”
Smirking, he looked at me. “When’s the last time you went to see Kenneth?”
I frowned, quite upset at his sudden change of topic. “A few days. You know I’ve had a lot of scenes to shoot and...”
“And who do you think has been tending to him these past days?”
Shocked, I gaped at him.