Chapter 6
D ecember, the month of the wedding, finally arrived.
The day after school was out for the Christmas holidays, Alissa held the pair of glittery silver wedding pumps against her chest before setting them inside her suitcase.
Almost everything was packed, other than her wedding dress.
She’d had the shop send her gown directly to the lodge, where the attentive staff had promised to take good care of it until her arrival.
They’d quickly decided on a Christmas wedding, agreeing to keep it small and only family. Mom suggested Cedar Mountain Lodge, and after a trip out to see it, both she and Jed had fallen in love with the rustic yet elegant lodge and grounds.
Her apartment lease ended in February, so she and Jed had agreed to pack up her things after they returned from their honeymoon.
With Mom’s help, she’d been able to nail every detail.
Once they’d decided on dusty blue and gray for the color scheme, everything had fallen into place.
She and Jed had chosen just one attendant each.
She’d worried that Sophie would be hurt that she’d chosen Hailey as her maid of honor, but her friend had understood perfectly.
Of course, Alissa would have her sister Hailey.
They’d been through so much together. And anyway, Sophie said, she wouldn’t be able to come for the wedding.
After her recovery, she’d taken a nanny job in England and couldn’t afford to fly home.
They’d promised to celebrate together later.
Jed had chosen his best friend from childhood, Mitch. Sadly, she had wanted to introduce Sophie to Mitch, but it would have to wait. As long as Sophie didn’t fall in love with some English guy while she was away, Alissa felt certain they were perfect for each other.
She could hardly wait to walk down the aisle on her mother’s arm toward Jed.
She squealed with delight at the thought that in less than a week she’d be Mrs. Marsh.
Technically, her new name would be Alissa Mann Kirby Marsh.
All of the last names of the people who’d loved her seemed just right, if quite long on a driver’s license.
A knock on her front door drew her away from her task.
It couldn’t be Jed, as he had a key. Instead of coming over last night, he’d said he had some business to attend to before they left for the airport.
She scurried over to the door and yanked it open, prepared for a delivery of some kind.
Instead, Jed stood before her. His jeans and T-shirt were rumpled, like he’d slept in them.
Stubble on his face and bloodshot eyes made him look as if he’d been on an all-night bender.
She knew better. He hadn’t even wanted a bachelor party.
Had something happened at work? Or with his mother?
“Where’s your key?” She hugged him. His body stiffened, so she withdrew, watching him carefully. Was he sick?
“I misplaced it.” He raked hands through his hair. “I’ve lost a whole set of keys.”
“Jed, what’s going on? Did something happen?”
He passed through the doorway into her apartment, then slumped into the easy chair with his face in his hands. She knelt next to him and clutched one of his knees. “Jed, please. What is it? You’re scaring me.”
He looked up at her. “Something’s happened. Something terrible.” Tears filled his eyes. He swiped at them with his hands. “My mother’s done something so horrible. Something you won’t be able to forgive me for.”
“Impossible,” she said. “Like we agreed, it’s you and me forever. She can’t hurt what we have.”
“Wait to decide until I tell you what she did.” He choked on the last few words.
“Go ahead, tell me.” She couldn’t imagine anything that would change the way she felt about him.
“We can’t win against her.” He wiped his eyes on his sweater sleeve, like a little boy. “She’ll never stop trying to destroy us. What she’s done is so beyond anything I thought she was capable of. I can’t understand her. God, Alissa, I come from a family of monsters.”
“Tell me what happened. Jed, whatever it is, we can work through it. If it’s your parents, we don’t need them. Who cares if they’re there or not? This wedding is for us.”
“It’s bigger than that.”
“Did they kick you out of the company?” God, the woman was evil. How could she do this to her son during what was supposed to be such a happy time? She should never have trusted that Mrs. Marsh had a change of heart. “You can get another job. We can live on my salary until you find something.”
He lifted his face to look up at her. “It’s not the money. I love you. Please know that. I love you so much it hurts. And I’m so very sorry.”
“You’re not making any sense. The only thing I want is you. I don’t care two figs about anything she thinks about me. She can’t hurt me as long as you’re by my side. It’s been that way since the first time we met. You’ve said so yourself. ”
“I was wrong. There are some things that are beyond our control. I’ve ruined your life. I should’ve known better. Someone perfect like you shouldn’t be anywhere near the monsters I call parents.” He got up from the chair as if a great weight rested on his shoulders.
She spoke sternly to try to get him to stop babbling. “Tell me what happened.”
He looked at her for a long moment. One in which Alissa could hear her heart thumping between her ears.
“My mother knows about your job at the club.”
“How?” Her stomach fell.
“Do you remember Amy’s son? The chef?”
She nodded, knowing suddenly what he was going to say.
“Yes, I remember.” She drew in a long breath as her body flushed with heat.
That’s where she’d seen him. Months before she met him at Jed’s parents’ house, Gary had been at the club.
He’d been with a sketchy group of young men that Rif had kicked out after one of them tried to touch Millie.
“He has drug problems and needs money,” Jed said.
“He had photographs of you that apparently he had a friend take at one of your recent shifts. Yesterday, he sent them to my mom, threatening to leak them on the internet and send them to your boss and your family, unless she paid him off. Instead, she decided to use them against us. She sent them to your principal and the president of the PTA.”
The room tipped sideways. “Oh God.” Shame and embarrassment washed over her.
Everything, just like that, ruined. Her secret revealed.
Not on her own terms, but via a cruel, controlling woman.
She wrapped her arms around her stomach, the pain as swift and sharp as the wind that howled outside the building.
There went the job she loved. The children and families she’d given so much would now see her as unfit to teach.
“She threatened to mail them to your mother,” he said. “I begged her not to. She made me promise to call off the wedding or she was going to text them to her.”
“Did you promise that?” Hot tears dripped from her eyes and stung her cheeks.
“That’s the point. Whether I call off the wedding to keep her from sending them doesn’t matter.
When you lose your teaching position, they’re going to have to know why.
You mother will never forgive me. My family is the reason you’ll no longer have the job you loved.
Think about your sisters. You know how tough they’ve been on me already.
When they find out what happened, what will they think?
They’ll never welcome me into the family.
I can’t do this to you. I won’t spread more poison into your life. I’m sorry, but it’s what’s best.”
“What is?”
“That we call off the wedding. I can’t marry you. It’s not right. Not now.”
She stared at him. Call off the wedding? How could you let this happen?
Even as she thought it, she knew it wasn’t fair.
He couldn’t control what his mother did.
Yet, somehow, logic didn’t apply here. He’d failed to protect her.
Now she’d lost her identity. What was she now?
A cocktail waitress in a strip club. Homeless.
She’d have to move in with Mom or one of the sisters.
He wiped his eyes, watching her. “I can see it in your face. You blame me for this.”
She turned her gaze toward the windows. “I don’t.”
“You do, and you’re right. I blame me too.”
She whirled around to look at him. “Fine, I do blame you. How could you let this happen?” The words were cruel and unfair. She knew this, but the anger coursed through her now, hot and red. “We had everything.”
Tears leaked from his eyes. She could see how her words had hurt him, yet she couldn’t take them back. He’d allowed his mother to ruin their love. It was tainted now with this awful, ugly thing.
“I knew you’d hate me for this.” Jed openly wept through the next sentences.
“I should’ve anticipated and protected you, but I failed.
I don’t have anything to offer you, even if you felt differently.
I walked out of her house for the last time.
I’m done. I have no job. No future. How could I in good conscience marry you now, even if you wanted me? ”
She went back to the window, leaning her forehead against the cold glass. A torrent of rain fell in slants. She hadn’t minded the rain as she packed. Now it represented the cold, lonely life without Jed.
“Why does she hate me so much?” Alissa asked, numbly, as she turned back toward him.
“I don’t know. I can’t explain any of it. She’s sick. I’m so sorry I ever dragged you into my mess of a toxic family. I should’ve known better than to think a guy like me could be with someone as pure and sweet and good as you.”
She loved him. That would never go away.
This man, who’d loved her out of her shyness and convinced her that their bond would stand the test of time, was her one and only.
They were na?ve to have thought that his family would ever let them be happy.
They hadn’t factored in the lengths his mother would go to.
They’d been doomed before they even started.
Her legs trembled, and she sank onto the couch as the awful reality washed through her.
Her life as she knew it was over. She wasn’t sure she could ever look at him the same way now.
Even if she could look past all of this, if they went forward with the marriage, his mother would be even angrier.
God only knew what she was capable of. Would she go after her sisters?
Her mom? Mrs. Marsh was rich. Wealth equaled power. Alissa had none.
And what about her family? How would she explain the called-off wedding and the loss of her teaching position, other than to tell them the truth about her secret job?
They would understand her reasons but would be hurt she’d not told them the truth.
They lived under the premise that there were no secrets between Mom and the soul sisters.
“She’ll never stop trying to ruin what we have.” Jed went to her, kneeling at her feet. “Please, forgive me. I vowed to take care of you, and I failed. I’d do anything to take it all back.”
“But you can’t,” she said. “Your mother’s never going to let us be happy.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry.” He reached into his pocket and set a folded check on the coffee table. “This is for you. Something to get you through until you find a new job.”
“Money can’t fix this,” she said.
“I can’t leave here unless I know you’ll be all right.” He spoke in a strangled, miserable voice. “You’ll find someone better than me. Without all my baggage.”
She would no longer be able to roll over and see his face every morning.
After this, she might never see him again.
She gasped for breath; the air had left the room, leaving pain that pressed into her on all sides.
A wail like that of a dying animal came from deep inside her.
There was nothing she could do to stop the awful sound.
He gathered her into his arms and stroked her hair as she wept, saying over and over how sorry he was.
“You should go now,” she said, finally . Before I break in half in front of you.
“I’ll love you forever,” he whispered, then rose to his feet.
The slamming of the door was the beginning of the after , she thought.
She’d had the after before, when her parents had died.
Jed had been the beginning of a new life.
Loving him had given her peace from the grief that had plagued her for so long.
She’d actually believed that Mama and Daddy had sent him to her, to heal all the scars of the past .
I should have known better , she thought. I loved him too much . Just as she had her parents. And then they’d left her to maneuver through the rest of her life without them. Just as she would now have to without Jed.
Again, here she was. Alone and bleeding.