Chapter Four Hayden
CHAPTER FOUR
HAYDEN
T he resort looked like a Christmas-plosion. The parking lot left nothing undecorated. Green and red garland covered the streetlamps and hung from the pine trees lining the road. There were no less than ten blow-up figures ranging from Santa to reindeer to gifts to elves. And so many holiday lights.
Gwen would love this.
“Holy Christmas,” Charlotte mumbled, pressing her face against the window. “Did my parents rent this place out? I bet they volunteered to do this for Christian and Penny. This place looks beautiful.”
“It looks great.” I fought the urge to laugh. The Calhouns would legit volunteer their time to drive three hours north to decorate for a weekend. Christopher and Claire were intense. Also the best chosen grandparents to Gwen.
Gratitude overwhelmed me when I thought about the village of people helping me raise Gwen alone. The Calhouns specifically treated her like one of their own, and I’d never forget it. I usually didn’t have an issue with the fact that I never dated or slept around. It sucked, but my entire life was for Gwen now. Gwen and baseball. I had had a few friends with benefits going on, but the last time I saw them was… months ago. Half a year, probably.
This was a mistake, knowing I’d be seeing Charlotte all weekend. I should’ve taken preventative measures, because she made me have wild and inappropriate thoughts. Fantasies, really. A part of me regretted my coy excuse about my shoulder, but it was better than her drinking whiskey with Garrett.
My body tensed. With my parents moving, my main source of help was gone. No more babysitting, overnight stays, or help with appointments or sick days. My heart raced at all the things I’d have to do alone. The last four people I interviewed to help were all a bust too. I had a schedule, but it wasn’t enough for a full-time nanny. I needed someone to stay overnight a few times a month and during baseball season… I winced. Who would help watch a toddler that often?
I wasn’t resentful. I loved my daughter more than life, but between figuring out how I’d get support and balance my job, it was taking all my energy. Dating wasn’t something I could afford. A one-night stand? Sure. No strings, no emotions. I eyed Charlotte, hating the way my body hummed around her. She was all strings, all emotions.
With how entangled our families were, I could never cross the line. The risk of losing all of them wasn’t worth the feelings I had hidden all these years, especially when my life wasn’t in order.
“Wow,” Charlotte said, a little breathless. “This is a snow globe of a place.”
“Despite your car being a hockey puck, the snow made this place perfect.”
“It really did.”
I could hear the smile in her voice, and my breath hitched. Charlotte’s orbit pulled me in, where all I wanted was to earn more of her smiles. My gut tightened, thinking about her going for a head coaching job when I had no idea. Christian never told me, and it wasn’t like I asked about her life when I saw her. I kept our convos simple and short, by choice. It was no wonder she didn’t seek me out.
I found an empty spot to park near the main drive, and once I had shifted into park, I unclicked my seat belt, watching her.
She still stared out the window, her lips slightly parted and her large brown eyes wide. She looked happy and excited. Even with the dried blood and bruising, Charlotte was a knockout. I wanted to touch those two little freckles on her cheek and bite the spot on her neck where her shoulder met her collarbone.
Fuck. I needed distance, from her, and from my thoughts.
“Come on. Let’s go check in and prepare to chat with your brother and his betrothed.”
Her lips quirked, her warm gaze meeting mine before her expression cooled. It was almost as if she didn’t want us to find a truce. Not that we had a war or a fight. But the gesture hurt. She shut me out the second things seemed nice. Yeah, I had to fix this, somehow. I didn’t realize how bad it was between us without the barrier of Gwen.
The wind whipped my face as I exited my side to help carry our stuff inside. Charlotte had the pile of clothes clutched to her chest. Some curls escaped her bun and damn, it was cute.
“You going to waltz in there with your clothes, just like that?” I indicated my chin toward her chest. “No judgment, but if you wanted to borrow a bag, you just need to ask.”
She pursed her lips. The bruise on her forehead looked worse, and worry ate at me. The woman was stubborn as an ox, and I really wanted her to see a doctor.
“Hm, maybe I wanted to make a statement. I’m anti-bag.” She arched her brow in defiance, the same look she had had her whole life.
I held up my hands. “I support your stance, Char, but do you want everyone seeing your red underwear?” I indicated her left hand, where a red garment stood out against the rest. I grabbed my suitcase and backpack, trying not to smile as she waged war with herself.
She didn’t want to ask me for help but also knew she needed to. I leaned over the back, pushing away some of Gwen’s things until I pulled out an old duffel. It smelled lightly of dust and leather, but it would work. “Still anti-bag?” I asked, teasing her.
She rolled her eyes before setting her clothes down in the back. The wind blew her shirts and socks to the ground, and I quickly scooped them up. I absolutely ignored the feel of her clothes on my hands. “Thank you,” she mumbled as she nudged her shoulder against mine.
“Did it hurt saying that?”
“Slightly.” She shoved the items into the bag, including her toothbrush and bra, before standing and hoisting it on to her shoulder. She rubbed her forehead with her other hand, and worry replaced the amusement.
“Headache?”
“A bit, yeah.”
“Alright, let’s get our rooms so you can rest before they all descend on you.”
I quickly grabbed our coats. Locking the vehicle, I placed my hand on her lower back. While I led us into the main entrance, I let my mind wander for a few seconds.
What would it be like if we came up here alone for a weekend? What if I gave in to this attraction instead of fighting it? I eyed the largest Christmas tree I had ever seen and wished that our timing were different. In some universe, Charlotte and I could be together, but it wasn’t the present one.
Even though the thick sweater separated my skin from hers, she was warm to touch. She smelled like cinnamon and vanilla, and I wanted to wrap myself up in her heat and scent. I didn’t expect to spend hours with her in my truck or to foolishly volunteer to keep her company today either. That was the problem with being an adult with a small child—I just didn’t think. Most days were complete survival mode. We ate, slept, were clean, and that was enough. Thinking ahead beyond Gwen’s well-being or the team just didn’t happen. And now not having a secure place for Gwen to go when I coached added another layer of stress I wasn’t equipped to deal with.
The automatic doors to the resort whooshed open, and my first thought was Gwen needs to visit here . The scent of pine trees hung in the air, and I counted ten Christmas trees in sight. There were more, I’d bet Gwen’s college fund on it. I kept moving and oomph .
“Shit, Char, are you alright?” I wrapped an arm around her middle, righting her posture. That pushed her even closer to me, her back to my chest, her curves underneath my forearm. She smelled even better in this position. I lingered for a second, and then another, before stepping back. “Why did you stop?”
Her lips parted, and her eyes filled with glee. She turned halfway and swatted me on the arm. “Do you see this place? I want to live here. I want my entire personality to become this place. Look at the decorations! The popcorn string! That took hours! Oh, and the tinsel and glass ornaments and two fireplaces. Not one, two . Pine cones!” she shouted.
“Good afternoon,” a very tall man in a dark green tux said. His name tag read BERNARD .
“That can’t be your real name,” I said, without thinking. “My daughter is obsessed with Santa Clause , and you know, the elf’s name is Bernard.”
“Hayden, shh.” Charlotte hit me again. “Hi, Bernard. Do people call you Bernie? Nard-dawg?”
His lips curved into a smile as his gaze swept over Charlotte. A flicker of interest flashed on his face. Oh, he was into her. He stepped closer, speaking only to her. “My real name is Brendon.”
“I fucking knew it,” I muttered, but neither of them paid attention to me.
“Hi, Brendon. This is the best place I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“I saw your face light up. I’m so glad you like it. I’m head of decorations on top of managing the resort. It pleases me to see you so happy. Are you both here together or—”
“Oh, no. I’m here to meet my brother and his bachelor-bachelorette party.” Charlotte moved closer to Bernard-slash-Brendon-slash–the guy who really annoyed me.
“Do we check in with you or at the counter?” I interrupted. They both looked at me with frowns. I was the resident Grinch, stealing joy and ruining Christmas. Put me in a green suit.
“I can help. This way, please.” He winked at Charlotte, and she beamed up at him, her cheeks rosy. She eyed him up and down, and I clenched my fists.
If I had to watch her flirt with this dude, I’d rather eat yellow snow.
“Do you have a doctor here? She needs to see someone,” I barked out, annoyed at their flirting. Then I annoyed myself. I need a damn drink.
Bernard-Brendon tilted his head and scanned her body again, lingering on her legs. “We do have an on-site triage. Are you okay? What happened?”
She sighed, slicing me a shut up look. “Ignore Grumpy Pants over there. He’s basically like my overprotective brother. I’m okay, just got into a little fender bender.”
Overprotective brother.
The thoughts I had about Charlotte were not brotherly in any way. Her comment stung like she had intended, using my own words against me from that night.
We had happened to be at the same bar on campus. I had signed my first coaching contract mere hours before and wanted a large whiskey to celebrate. The head coach, Nelson, the one who hired me, sat at the bar. We brainstormed all the pie-in-the-sky ideas we had, leaving no dream unmentioned, when I had to use the bathroom.
That’s when I saw her.
Charlotte had just turned twenty-one, me twenty-five. I didn’t know she’d be at the same bar even though I knew she went to the same university. She wore a skintight red dress that dipped low in the front and showed off every single one of her curves. Her arms waved in the air as she danced, her smile large enough for the entire place to see how happy she was. She shimmied and wiggled and stole the breath from my lungs.
She was beautiful. Inside and out, and her smoky eyes fell on me and lit up. “Hayden!” She ran to me and threw her arms around my neck, her vanilla perfume surrounding me. I held her against me, obsessed with the feel of her. I let my hand linger on her lower back and then her side.
“My birthday wish came true!”
“Oh yeah?” I tilted her head back, unable to stop my own grin at seeing her joy. I always had a little thing for my best friend’s sister. I hid it, but every time she was around, my day just improved. “What was your wish?”
“You finally see me.” She licked the corner of her lip, and the gesture sent a hot bolt of lust through me. I wanted to taste that lip, her mouth, feel her heat. She shouted, and her words were a little slurred, clearly from the drinking.
I’d never take advantage of anyone when they were drunk. That was a hard stop, and Charlotte had clearly had quite a few. Yet I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “What do you mean see you?”
She dug her nails into my shoulder and stood on her tiptoes, pressing her lips against the base of my neck. Goose bumps exploded down my skin, lighting me on fire. She nipped my earlobe, and I forgot everything that made sense. I didn’t know where we were, what year it was, who I even was as a person. I had to feel those pillow-soft lips against mine. “Charlotte,” I said.
She ran her fingers through my hair and tugged until my mouth met hers, and she gave me possibly the messiest, sexiest kiss of my life. She tasted like champagne and cherries, and when she sucked my tongue into her mouth, I groaned, holding her tighter against me.
Charlotte Calhoun. My secret crush.
She’s drunk.
She’s a student. Where I work. Where I got my dream job so young.
Fuck.
I broke the kiss and put a hand on her chest. Her heart pounded against her ribs at the same rate mine did. “Char,” I said, unsure what I wanted to tell her.
“I felt it too, Hayden.” She smiled. “I’ve loved you my entire life and knew it would be the best feeling ever to finally kiss you. God, what does this mean?”
“It means nothing.” I pushed her farther away from me, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. She’d been drinking! What if Nelson saw this? What if I got fired from my job before it even started? What the fuck was I thinking? Kissing Charlotte Calhoun ?
“Wait, n-nothing?”
“Don’t be foolish, Charlotte.” I lost control, panic clawing up my throat, making me almost gag. “You’re like a sister to me.”
Yeah, that’s right. Lie. That’ll help.
She blinked, and in that exact moment, I crushed her. The nicest woman in the world.
I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair, forcing that memory away. We’d never spoken about it, and maybe it was time. Except now another man, the ridiculous elf, had his fingers on her forehead.
What kind of manager touched guests?
“We need to check in. Now,” I said.
Charlotte scowled. The manager remained professional as he strutted to the counter. It was one thing to battle my own feelings for Charlotte, but watching other guys around her gutted me. Every time there had been an event in the last three years, I had had a date. It made me behave and not hyperfocus on whether Charlotte’s date was treating her well or touching her or doing whatever the hell Bernie was doing.
“Calhoun and Porter,” I said, jutting my chin toward his computer. “Check us in.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket. A blip of anxiety had me grabbing for it. It could’ve been a player or Nelson. My instinct always went to Gwen though.
Mom.
My anxiety doubled in size, like a hot-air balloon. “Mom, is everything okay?”