Chapter Eighteen Hayden
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
HAYDEN
I t had been years since I felt like I couldn’t control my libido. Charlotte had woken up a part of me that had been dormant. Watching her dress had been the sexiest thing I had ever seen. Thinking about it had me adjusting myself under the table. It took more effort than it should to focus on the conversation at hand.
“What did you think of your late-night visitor?” Garrett asked as he downed half his mimosa. He was a loud eater, and I had no idea how his parents didn’t make him eat outside.
“Yes. Candy sang three songs for us.” Penny grinned. “It was so weird and wonderful. She also handed us candy canes and curtsied.”
“It was so cool. Such a unique present, thanks, man.” Christian held out a fist, and Garrett bumped it.
“Not gonna lie, Hayden and I thought she was a stripper and stood guard.”
“Why the hell would I hire a stripper? Come on, Char.” Garrett playfully bumped into her.
She narrowed her eyes. “Because you’re you and a general pain in the ass.”
“I second that,” I said.
“I’m sorry, what?” Penny hit the table, her laughter so loud that other tables glanced over at us. “You stood guard? What were you gonna do? Stop her?”
“I don’t know! It was awkward, and this conversation is done.” Charlotte snorted and met my eyes for a beat. She smiled, a slight blush to her cheeks before she focused on Penny. “Do you have an agenda for us today?”
“Obviously.” Penny pulled out green sheets of paper. “Free time until early afternoon. We’re gonna ski for a bit. Then Christian and I have a couple’s massage.”
“I could call Candy back, see if she could follow us around all day and sing?”
Everyone laughed at Garrett.
“We can meet in the lobby for a drink around four? There’s a dinner and karaoke tonight, then four different holiday movies in each section of the ballroom. I originally planned a drinking game for the movies, but we can’t—”
“We can still make it a drinking game, babe.” Christian gave her a look, and she nodded. “We have a list of items that make us drink depending on what movie we pick.”
“ Home Alone , Christmas Vacation , Elf , and A Christmas Story . Hm, I vote Christmas Vacation , right?” Garrett clicked his tongue. “That’s the best.”
“Or Home Alone .” Charlotte laughed. “These lists are insane. Drink when Marv speaks Angrish. This is awesome.”
“There is an ugly sweater contest tonight too. The more original, the better. There is a team gift card for a prize, and I do plan to win.” Penny puffed her chest and took her time meeting all our gazes.
She truly was the perfect match for Christian. She was a holiday hooligan in the best, kindest way.
Brunch went on for another hour, everyone rehashing the competitions from last night. We all stood just as Charlotte grabbed my forearm, stopping me. Heat spread through my body from her touch. It was like the entire hour of distraction was for nothing. Images of her flashed through my mind, and I wanted to kiss her.
“There’s something we need to tell you,” Charlotte said to the group.
Wait. What? We didn’t talk about this. She couldn’t tell them before I even knew what we were doing. I tensed and pulled from her grip. I had to stop her without hurting her feelings. Shit. My mind spiraled, and nothing came out before she said, “Hayden and I scored higher than your team. There was a bet on the table, but as a kind gesture from our hearts, we made a playlist for the DJ at the wedding even though we shouldn’t have. I want it noted that we are better people than you.”
Garrett cackled. “Holy shit, you devious little monster. I love you, Charmander.”
Charlotte winked at him, which I didn’t love. Penny and Christian stared at her, then me, their expressions reflecting matching dread. They were so damn competitive that this was the most offensive thing we could’ve done.
Even though we had good intentions about helping with their wedding. I mean, they seemed so much better this morning. They were touchy and happy.
“I hate you.” Christian narrowed his eyes at his sister. “This… this has to be one of the best moments of your life.”
“Oh. It is. Top five, easily.” She smirked and leaned to hug both her brother and Penny. “Have fun skiing. Love you!”
Penny, Christian, and Garrett took off to ski, leaving Charlotte and me to ourselves. She spun to me, a twinkle in her eye. “I love one-upping my brother. Does that make me immature? You know what, don’t answer. It feels too good.”
“You’re an evil little elf.” I found myself smiling too. With a quick glance toward the hallway, the others were gone, and I pulled her toward me. “I’m into it though.”
“Evil elves?” She scrunched her nose and smiled. I let myself stare at her two freckles under her eyes. I never let myself look too closely, and now I could.
“No. You.” I tipped her chin and kissed her. I couldn’t get over how good it felt. She sighed into me, like the kiss meant as much to her as it did to me. “I’m into you.”
“That will never get old. So what shall we do?” She wiggled her eyebrows and leaned into me. Hints of vanilla and evergreen filled the air. I ran a finger over her jawline, honestly obsessed with just touching her skin.
I wanted to take her back to one of our hotel rooms, but that sure as hell wasn’t going slow. I owed it to her to be mature and find time for us to learn more about each other outside of the bedroom. That would happen, for sure. But not yet.
“I think we should work on your interview.”
Her shoulders slumped, and her entire body tensed. “Right, the interview.”
“Are you not looking forward to the opportunity?” I studied her. She blinked a lot and shifted her weight side to side.
“What do you mean? Of course I’m excited, but nervous too.” She crossed her arms and stepped away from me. A sure sign of defensiveness.
“When I mentioned the interview, your entire body changed. Do you not want to talk about it? We don’t have to, if you explain what’s going through your pretty head.”
“I do want to talk about it. It’s just…” She tightened her eyes to slits. Her hands flailed in the air, and her mouth twisted into a thousand expressions that I couldn’t stop watching.
I knew Char in so many ways, but the thought of learning everything about her excited me. She spoke fast when she was nervous and used her hands when she was passionate. I’d seen her have whole conversations with her hands wild in the air, and I loved it. This insecurity coming from her was new, and it didn’t sit right with me. She wasn’t insecure about anything.
She had a heart of gold, would improve anyone’s life she entered, and truly believed in building up people. It was a no-brainer that she was right for the job. She just had to believe it, and she didn’t right now. I could help with that.
She struggled, and I took her hand in mine, interrupting her. “Okay, before you answer, we’re going to do an activity. Let me grab some paper and a table.”
“You’re using your coaching voice on me. Not sure if I’ve told you this before, I like this version of you, Coach Porter.”
“Then be a good girl and let me help you,” I fired back, enjoying the way her eyes lit up. This new level of banter was top tier. Big fan of this stage of our relationship. “There, go sit at that booth near the fire.”
“Say please.”
This time my body lit up. I liked hearing the command in her voice. “Please, Char, go have a seat so I can help explain to you why you’re the whole fucking package. Now, stop sassing me. It’s distracting.”
She grinned and almost had a skip in her step as she moved toward a booth. I found a pen and pad of paper near the host stand, and I snatched them. I placed them on the table and tapped my finger on them. “What do you have so far?”
“Meaning… my résumé? I already applied.”
“Great. I meant plans. Practice plans, program goals, merch ideas. I’ve worked with a lot of high school coaches, and they always need fundraising. How are you gonna bring in more funds for the softball program? What makes you different than Chad?”
She shrugged, the same defeated look crossing her face. That was just unacceptable.
“Charlotte, honey, here’s what you’re going to do. Write down ten things about yourself that are amazing. We all get impostor syndrome from time to time, but I refuse to let you live in this headspace. The Char I know wouldn’t back down from a challenge before it even happened, and that’s what your body language tells me.”
“It’s not that I’m backing down before the interview.” She spoke with more fire than before, which made me happy.
She spun the ring on her middle finger around and around. “I’ll go and do my best, but I know Chad will get the job. He and the athletic director are friends. They go to happy hour together and make it very clear that I’m not in the ‘cool circle’ of coaches.” She pushed her hair behind her ears, her jaw set in a hard line. “I’m naive to think I have a real chance, because I know how this ends.”
My blood boiled at the resignation in her voice. “You can read the future? When did that happen?”
“You know what I mean.” She rolled her eyes.
“No, Charlotte, I don’t.” I shoved the piece of paper at her and handed her the pen. “You’re going to write down ten things about yourself and show why you deserve this. Is the AD the only one on the panel? I don’t give a shit about Chad and him being friends. It’s about the sport and the program and—most importantly—the athletes. Write the list down.”
She sucked in a breath, and I softened my voice, aware that I had let my annoyance drip into my tone. “I refuse to hear you talk about yourself like you’re not deserving of everything. If I’m around, my woman isn’t accepting defeat until the decision is made.”
Her face relaxed, and neither one of us mentioned the fact that I said my woman like a twenty-first-century caveman. It was how I felt though.
“What if I can’t come up with ten things?”
“Write. The. List.”
She wet her lips before finally taking the damn pen to the paper. She twirled it around her fingers once, twice, and then a third time, but she hadn’t written a single thing. That was fine. If she wanted to have a test of patience, I’d win.
I had a three-year-old gremlin at home. I practiced patience all day, every day. I survived potty training with a strong-willed child. I was the king of patience.
“Are you sure this is helpful? Can we work on my presentation or something?”
“No. You’re not getting out of this.”
“You’re making me rethink this whole being together thing. I forgot how… bossy you could be.”
“You didn’t forget a damn thing. You’re just stubborn as hell, and if you need help, I’ll make the list for you.” I yanked the pen out of her hands and wrote in all caps CHARLOTTE BEATS CHAD LIST.
SMART AS HELL
COMPETITIVE TO THE POINT IT’S SEXY
BEST PLAYLIST MAKER
THE BEST TEAMMATE ANYONE COULD ASK FOR
“Hayden,” she said, interrupting me. “You think I’m smart?”
“Of course I do.” I scoffed. “You’re strategic and forward-thinking about everything. I remember how you’d set a calendar reminder for Christian and me to help us remember our parents’ birthdays and anniversaries, along with their favorite places to eat. People don’t do that, Charlotte. It’s detailed. Important. You inspired me to keep a list about those I care about so I never have to ask them what they want for a gift.”
“Really?” She leaned onto the table, her eyes dancing with glee. “I inspired you?”
“Fuck, why do you look so surprised? You’re extraordinary.” I laughed and ran a hand over my face. “You told me once you carried an EpiPen everywhere with you because one of your teammates was extremely allergic to bees and she was forgetful. You make playlists for people as your love language. I still listen to—”
“Rainy Daze and Weird Vibes?” she answered, her voice soft. “The one I made for you seven years ago, back when Nina broke up with you?”
“Yes. That one. You knew all my favorite artists and helped pull me out of that slump.” I wished I could dive into her mind to unpack why she didn’t realize she had everything going for her. “You’re fucking incredible. Own it and stop this insecure shit.”
“Wow, Coach Porter. Do you motivate all your players this way?”
“By telling them the truth? Always.”
“With this much profanity?”
“Finish the activity.”
Charlotte grinned, her nose scrunching, and it was adorable. Despite being direct and a little forceful with my words, it worked. She filled out the rest of the paper with her very neat handwriting, and pride filled me.
I loved this part of being a coach. Helping others find their value and be proud of who they were fulfilled me in a deep way. Becoming a father had also formed a huge need to build confidence. I wanted Gwen to think, believe, and know she could do anything.
“I’m not one to talk about myself, but this feels… good.” She clicked her tongue. “I’m not sharing my list until you do one too though. It seems only fair.”
My gut twisted. My evil elf was turning my words against me. “I’m not interviewing for a job though. I know what I can do.”
“You know why you’re awesome? Tell me then, Coach.”
“This is about you, Charlotte.” I covered her hand with mine, gliding my thumb over her wrist. “You go in and make it the hardest, most contentious decision that interview panel has ever made. You make them sweat choosing Chad, because I tell you what, they will notice you.”
“What if I do all that and it still doesn’t happen?”
“Then you keep doing the work that matters to you, and another opportunity will open up. When you give your heart and soul to something, it rewards you. It’ll give back to you, Char. You’re meant to coach and shape the minds of student athletes. I know that as much as I know Gwen will change the world. Let me believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself.”
She sniffled and sat back against the booth, her gaze moving toward the window. Moisture filled her eyes, and my chest felt like someone jabbed me. You made her cry, idiot.
“Char—”
“I kinda want to throw myself at you and kiss your face for saying all that.”
“Then do it.”
She slid out of the booth and fell onto me, her familiar scent and warmth surrounding me as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. “Thank you,” she said, her muffled voice blocked by my shirt.
I cupped the back of her head, closing my eyes and holding her. “You’re welcome. That’s my job, baby, to build you up. You gotta let me.”
Soft kisses covered my neck and then my jaw. Each touch of her lips on my skin sent a flurry of emotions through me. Need, want, desperation, worry, love . I loved this woman. Avoiding her hadn’t dulled the feelings, and being around her again reminded me. She was an addiction that I got full access to this weekend, but what happened when our time ended here?
I kissed her temple as she slid off my lap and onto the booth next to me. I liked her here, right by me. Our thighs touched, and I didn’t have to pretend I didn’t notice. Leaning into her, I felt drunk on her. I forgot about all my worries and focused on the feel of her muscles against mine, the softness of her pants.
“Go get your laptop, and I’ll write down some practice interview questions we can go over. We can set a timer if that helps you. One hour. Then we stop.”
“And then we can go back to the hotel room?” She arched a brow, her cheeks reddening. “Because I need to be honest, Hayden. I want to have my way with you right now.”
I snorted into my fist. “Oh, you have no idea how little self-control I have this second. So, please, Char, get your damn laptop so we can work on this.”
She grinned wide and sprinted out of the booth. The hour would be dedicated to her interview, but it would also give me time to figure out what the hell I was gonna do. Charlotte had rooted herself under my skin. I refused to cross any more lines with her until we agreed on the future.
I just had to figure out what the hell the future meant to me.