Chapter Twenty-Six Hayden
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
HAYDEN
I t was noon before I got antsy enough to text Charlotte. I tried to be patient, but I was dying to know how it went.
Hayden: I need an update. Please. How did it go?
No response yet from her, but there was a missed call from the same random number I hadn’t heard from in a few days.
I rubbed my eyebrow, irritation dancing along my spine. I was already on edge about Charlotte. Thankfully, my phone buzzed, and relief filled me.
Charlotte: Hi! So sorry. I’ve been bombarded with students. It went well. Best I could’ve done. I don’t have a good feeling about the outcome, but I have no regrets. I left feeling proud.
Hayden: That’s all you can do. I’m proud of you.
Charlotte: Thank you! They said they’d let me know tonight so any chance we can get together so I can… not drink alone?
Hayden: I’ve always been a fan of being the underdog so don’t count yourself out yet. And you’ll be proud of ME. Frankie is watching Gwen tonight for a few hours so I can come over. I want to be there, no matter what happens. Do you know what time?
Charlotte: You’re the best. I know it’s hard for you to trust Frankie like this, so thank you for doing this for me. And my guess is five.
Hayden: I’ll be there.
There. That felt better. Charlotte had told me once that, some days, she could go hours without looking at her phone because it was an endless stream of students. She was easy to be around and talk to, so I had no doubt students flocked to her. That was why she hadn’t texted. I relaxed and shoved my phone in my pocket.
Today was an easy day, everyone settling down before the holiday break. Then things would pick up. I had a tour scheduled with a potential recruit, and then I was gonna work out with some of the guys before heading to pick up Gwen. Man, my nerves were fried thinking about Charlotte. I wanted this for her so damn much, even though I knew it would be a long shot.
I’d suffered heartbreak two times in my life, and it sucked. First, when I realized I’d never be promoted from the minors and quit to pursue coaching, and then when Gwen’s mom decided not to be in Gwen’s life. I knew that pit in your stomach, the disappointment that could seep into all areas of your life.
I’d be there for Charlotte. I’d make sure to help her no matter what happened with the interview. My phone rang again with the random number I’d been seeing the last two weeks. I ignored it and focused on my job, hoping it’d make the time go by faster so I could see Charlotte.
Was I acting like a giddy fucking teenager again? Yes.
And did I care? Not at all. I loved her, and once we got past this wedding, we could be open about it. Flashes of summer vacations, of us helping Christian and Penny navigate parenthood, of us getting married all crossed my mind. I could almost hear my mom telling me to slow down because I didn’t do anything half speed. I was all in from the start, and Charlotte was no different. Maybe I’d get her flowers to show her how much I cared? Yeah. I’d get her favorite flowers before going over there tonight. That seemed like a good plan.
The other assistant coaches chuckled at me as I ran out of the office. Rosa, the newest addition, gave me so much shit, but there was a kindness about it. I never shared anything about my personal life, and now they all knew about Charlotte. I didn’t know life could be like this… happy. I loved my daughter and career and the life we had, but I rarely did anything for just me, and Charlotte was all mine. I picked up flowers, then Gwen, and we made our way home. Frankie was due to arrive in twenty minutes, so I had plenty of time to get Gwen washed up and ready for dinner. I was killing this whole dating-and-dad thing.
“Daddy, do dinosaurs poop?”
I snorted, chopping up some apples. “Yes. All creatures go to the bathroom.”
“I don’t think so. Dinos make sparkle dust. That’s what I actually think.”
“Sparkle dust it is.” God, this girl. She puffed out her chest and went back to building a house out of magnets. The doorbell rang, and I grabbed a towel to dry my hands as I went to let Frankie in.
When I had interviewed her, she agreed to my terms of texting me every thirty minutes. She had an older brother who had two young kids whom she watched all the time and who was also a hover parent. She could call me a hovering helicopter parent, and I’d be just fine. “Hey, Frankie,” I said, opening the front door with a smile. “Dinner is almost—”
I stopped.
Simone stood at my doorstep.
“Hi, Hayden.”
That voice. The tone, that light lilt to the second syllable of my name… hearing it was like a gunshot to the chest.
“Simone.” I swallowed, panic clawing up my throat. Why the fuck was she outside my house, where my daughter was? “Why the fuck are you here?”
“I tried calling and texting you a few times. You ignored me.” She crossed her arms over her chest, her face tightening into a scowl. “This wouldn’t be a surprise if you had answered.”
Gwen could see her mom. The one who left her. I glared at Simone, an anger so fierce that I barked, “Leave. Leave right now.”
“No. I’ve tried calling and texting for weeks! I really need to speak with you. It’s important. It’s about our daughter.” Her voice wobbled on the edge of tears. That sound used to upset me, when I wanted to please her. Now fury replaced sympathy.
Our daughter. The words made me recoil. How dare she?
“By surprising me? At my house? With my daughter?” My voice rose, and I gripped the edge of the door tighter. “No. No. ”
“Hayden, if you avoid me, I’m going to keep showing up.”
The worst-case scenarios flooded my mind, each worse than the last. What if she wanted to take Gwen away from me? What if she tried to fight for full custody?
“What do you want?”
I glanced inside, where Gwen sat at the table, still playing, unaware of everything. My heart thudded, and my senses went into fight-or-flight mode. Frankie would be here soon. I could get Gwen comfortable with her, and then I could hear Simone out. Yeah.
“I want another shot at being a family with you.”
I shook my head before I could form a word. A family? No fucking way. I vowed to never prevent Gwen from having a relationship with her mom if Simone ever changed her mind. Gwen deserved to know her mom, even if it made me nervous. But a family? No.
“You’re going to get back in your car and stay out of sight. Gwen is trying out a babysitter tonight, and once I get her set up, then I will meet you down at the park.” I jutted my chin toward the playground fifty yards away. “You will never show up to my house again. I will answer your calls, but my house is off-limits.”
She nodded, but the light left her eyes. “You’re being so cruel.”
“No, I’m not. You’re barging into my life, into Gwen’s, without a single thought about us. You’re only thinking about yourself, which is typical. So let me be a father, and I’ll talk to you in a bit.”
I went inside and shut the door. Holy shit.
“Daddy! Look at my house! Look!” Gwen cheered and wiggled her hand at me. “Come see!”
It took the strength of a legion of men, but I forced a smile. “That looks amazing, baby girl. You’re so creative.”
“I’m good.”
“Yes, you are.” I pulled her into me, smelling her fruity shampoo and trying not to break. She deserved the best, and if that meant hearing Simone out, I’d do it. “Frankie is gonna be here soon. Are you excited?”
“Yes!” She wiggled her hips. “We’re gonna play dinos!”
Frankie arrived, and I held it together as best I could. I wanted to call my parents and beg them to come back—but what could they do? This was a conversation for Simone and me. I was Gwen’s father. I could do this.
I sweat as I made the short walk toward the park. A white sedan was parked off to the side, and I knocked on the window. It was cold out, but I wasn’t getting in the car with her.
She got out and leaned against the side, her features showcasing Gwen’s best. Gwen had gotten her face shape, her eye shape, her hair, and cute nose. Simone was a short-term fling, not someone I ever would’ve had a relationship with. But when she showed up with Gwen, we tried to make it work but she lasted a week. She stayed at my house for a week, hating every second. I could see it on her face, in her eyes, and yeah, she was miserable. That Saturday morning, she made me a single parent.
That felt like a lifetime ago.
“Why are you here?” I barked out.
She pursed her lips, staring at the ground before the facade dropped. Her shoulders slumped, and when she met my gaze, her eyes glistened. “I’m not happy. I thought I wanted to live in Europe free to find acting jobs, but it didn’t work.” She gulped and stared out onto the playground.
“So you tried, and now you want to be a mom?” I gritted out. I didn’t want to be cruel, I really didn’t, but she abandoned my sweet girl. Me. The idea of a family. She missed out on a million wonderful moments, and I wasn’t sure I could forgive her for that. I swore that I could hear Charlotte’s voice in my head though, willing me to calm down.
This is Gwen’s mom, Hop. This is bigger than you.
I cleared my throat and forced a smile. “This is a shock to me, Simone. I hadn’t heard from you in years, and you show up without warning. At my house. It’s a lot to take in.” I moved toward a bench and sat down a few feet from her.
She swallowed, hard. “I’m not here to mess up her life. I just want to try again.”
“And you thought showing up at my house, with Gwen there, was the right choice?”
“I tried calling!” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Look, I’m living with my parents in town, and you might see me around.”
“Wait.” I blinked. “Your parents live here in town?”
They had never once expressed interest in meeting Gwen. Instead of anger, a deep, painful sadness ached in my chest. They missed out on knowing Gwen, seeing her smile and play in the rain and show off her new dance moves. Even thinking about missing those moments made me ill.
“They just learned about her.” She barely spoke above a whisper.
“What?” I almost shouted. There was no way she could mean that. “You… Simone. You never told your parents they are grandparents.”
“Yeah, until last week.” She paled. “They—Look, you can judge me all you want—”
“I’m not judging, Simone.” Okay, maybe a little bit. I ran a finger over my brow, willing myself to stay calm. “This is so fucked up.”
“I know, Hayden. On my list of fuckups, this is at the top.” She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders slumping. “They are furious at me for keeping it from them, shaming me for leaving her, for all of it. They said I need to grow up and take responsibility, and if I’m going to do that, I want to do that with you. You’re the best dad, Hayden. Our daughter deserves a chance at having a family. We had some good memories in our short time together. I just wasn’t ready.”
A flicker of what-if went through me. If Simone would’ve said this anytime from the day Gwen became mine until the resort, I would’ve tried. I owed it to Gwen to try to have a relationship with her mom. I dreamed of her coming back that first year. But now? I was in love with Charlotte.
“Christ.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, the galloping of my heart against my ribs so painful that it might bruise. So many words crossed my mind, none of them kind or helpful. Despite Simone keeping her pregnancy from me and choosing not to be a part of our lives, she was Gwen’s mom. She had kept her safe while pregnant and knew that she wasn’t the right parent for her. That took courage, even if I didn’t understand it. “Are you asking me what to do? You don’t get to waltz into my house and get to enter the family you left. It doesn’t work that way.”
She looked at me with so much sadness swirling in her eyes. “Then what should I do? Are you saying we don’t have a chance?”
“You and Gwen? I’d never stop that, but I don’t trust you—”
“No, you and me. Do we have a chance?”
“No.”
“Then what’s the point?” She groaned into her hands.
“The point is we have a fucking daughter who should be the top priority here, Simone. Not you. Not me. That’s what you’re still not getting. We can co-parent, if you want that path and are willing to do the work.”
“I don’t know if I do, okay? I don’t know if this is what I want or if I’m being pushed this way. It sucks!” She stood up and paced, tears on her face now. “I don’t know how long I’m gonna be here.”
“Then what do you want from me? How does Gwen fit into this?” I softened my voice not to scare Simone, because I was a big dude. My voice also had a bark to it when I was pissed. Like now. “Look, I can’t help you until you figure your shit out.”
“Maybe I hoped you’d tell me to get lost or that you’d never let me see Gwen. Then I’d run.”
“You wanted someone else to make the decision, but that’s not going to happen. Only you can figure out what you need. I will never be a couple with you, but I’d let you in Gwen’s life because she deserves to know you.” I exhaled and rubbed my hands together to warm my fingers. The adrenaline crashed, and now a bone-deep cold made me shiver.
“I thought you’d be meaner, make this conversation easier to leave.”
“I’m having a lot of thoughts I’m not sharing, but you’re not a cruel person. Selfish, yes, but not cruel.” The brief time we were together, a few weeks, she was wild and fun. No-strings-attached hooking up, no feelings or expectations. It was a great time pre-fatherhood. She was kind to everyone we interacted with. Immature, sure. A hot mess? Also yes. But cruel? No.
I still couldn’t believe she was here. I hadn’t heard a word from her since she left.
She stared up at the moon and sighed. “Can I give your number to my parents? They want to meet Gwen. Maybe they could call?”
“To start, yes.”
Fuck, this was going to be messy. Gwen would have grandparents but no mom on that side? But what about the Calhouns? Or Charlotte? My stomach cramped. Was this something Charlotte and I could navigate a week into being together?
Fuuuuck. This timing couldn’t be worse.
“I’m sorry, by the way. For springing this on you, for complicating the beautiful life you’ve built for Gwen. I still don’t know if I want to be a mom or be a part of her life yet, which isn’t fair to you at all.”
“It’s not fair to our daughter. I’ll be fine regardless.” That sharp tone returned at how selfish she was being. My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I ignored it. I’d call whoever it was back. I pressed the side to silence it and continued, “Look, I’m not sure us talking in circles is helpful. Give my number to your parents, and I’ll work with them on meeting Gwen. I won’t ignore your calls next time, but call me, don’t show up.”
“Okay, yeah.” She wiped her eyes. “Thank you for being kind about this.”
“Don’t give me a reason not to.” I met her gaze. “The only thing I will not budge on is you or your parents meeting Gwen without my permission and me being there. That is unforgivable to me. I’ll work with you in any way, but you ignore my wishes, things will be more difficult.”
She nodded, a hurt look flashing across her face. “I would never—”
“You showed up at my house . Gwen is the light of my fucking life, and I’m not willing to take any chances with you or your family.” I stood and ran my hands over my chest and stomach, the thudding of my heart causing my entire body to vibrate.
“I understand.”
“We’ll talk soon then.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked back to my front porch, absolutely torn up about what had happened. Could the mother’s parents have any rights to the child if the father was in the picture? Did they have any chance of taking Gwen from me? Or did Simone? I wanted to triple check everything to protect my daughter. I didn’t trust Simone at all, and the flutter of worry expanded through my entire body. So I did what any grown man would do in this moment. I called my parents. They’d know what to do. Even thousands of miles away, they’d talk me off this cliff.