Chapter 22 #3
It is hardly effusive, but it is perhaps better than I could have hoped for. Maybe there is a chance that one day, we could indeed be friends. I send a quick reply, and go back to Frodo and his magical adventures. He’s about to leave the Shire for the first time.
‘Don’t do it, Frodo!’ I warn him. ‘Stay at home and find a nice hobbit girl with hairy feet and a warm heart!’
He doesn’t listen, the impetuous fool. Just sets off to save the world, like the pint-sized hero he is.
I remember sitting in this exact spot with my mum all those years ago, watching this on DVD.
I was a little more adventurous back then, and would have been on my merry way as quick as a flash if I was a hobbit.
Thinking about my mum reminds me that I need to call her.
She left a voicemail at what would have been breakfast time with her and Ethan, but was hours later here.
I press her contact, and within a few rings she answers.
Her smiling features fill the screen, and I immediately feel emotional as I take in the familiar lines and creases of her face, her pretty brown eyes, the silver streaks in her neatly bobbed hair.
‘Darling, what’s wrong?’ she asks, straight away.
‘Nothing, Mum, I just miss you. Plus I’m really tired, and I’ve eaten nothing but cake all day.’
‘Ah. How did the buffet go?’
‘It was great, Mum. I think Maggie was really pleased.’
‘I’m sure she was, sweetie,’ she replies, smiling. ‘And it was very kind of you, stepping in like that on Christmas Day.’
I dismiss that, and reply: ‘I enjoyed it, and Maggie has always been good to me. How is Vermont?’
She fills me in on their stay in a cute little B I’ll find out eventually. I know I’m just a silly old woman, but I do have some life experience. Maybe I can help, even if it’s just by listening.’
‘You’re not silly, and you’re not old,’ I reply firmly. ‘And… well. It’s nothing, really. It’s just that I… that we… that Liam and me…’
Her eyes widen in surprise as she fills in the gaps, but she keeps her tone neutral as she asks: ‘Oh! What about Tyler?’
She has never met Tyler, but I have told her about him, and I understand better than ever now why she would hate the idea of me cheating on him.
‘I’d ended things with him, Mum. He flew over to see me, and then he left, and then Liam kissed me, and then I did the cake buffet, and now I’m here with a bottle of prosecco, feeling a bit blue.’
‘I see. Well, you have had a busy few days, haven’t you? I’m glad that you and Liam have made up, Ellie, and I don’t suppose I’m surprised this has happened. Even when you were seven, I started to think you might end up together. So, why feeling blue? Isn’t it what you want?’
That, of course, is the big question, isn’t it? That, and the equally big one – is it also what he wants?
‘I don’t know, Mum. I just don’t know. There’s a lot to think through, a lot to consider. It’s not an easy situation.’
‘Well, my love,’ she replies, smiling gently. ‘Nothing worth having ever is. Promise me you won’t be afraid.’
‘What do you mean?’ I ask, frowning.
‘You know what I mean, Ellie. Don’t hide from it.
Don’t cower away from life as though it’s always about to kick you.
I know you’ve had some tough breaks, and I know you’ve been doing your best, but really…
You used to be such a fearless girl. I want that for you again, sweetie.
I want you to be fearless, just like you always used to be. ’
She’s right, as usual. The ins and outs of how I have changed so much are complicated, but I have. I want to be fearless again, too – but I’m not entirely sure how to go about it.
Halfway through my prosecco, the idea comes to me – as many good ideas do when prosecco is involved.
I pause the movie, and go to get a notepad and pen from the drawer in the kitchen.
The top page shows one of my dad’s shopping lists, and his handwriting makes me smile.
Whatever happens next, at least he and I have found our way back to each other.
I go back into the living room, and grab one of his old encyclopaedias to rest the notepad on.
In tried and tested tradition, it is time to write a letter to Father Christmas.
Okay, so it’s a day late, but I’m sure he won’t mind – and if he does, maybe he’ll hold it over until next year. He’s good like that.