Chapter Fourteen Max
Even when the weekend arrives, I can’t get myself to relax.
Working so hard makes me feel like I’m going through an adrenaline rush, and it’s hard to get it to wear off, even when I’m not at the office. This shit is probably going to kill me one day if I don’t get a handle on it.
And it doesn’t help that every single day I’m struggling with how I feel for Emma. It makes me bury myself in work even more because it’s the only distraction I have.
Until we have to work on something together.
Then, I’m biting back flirty comments. Fisting my hand under the table to keep from brushing her hair out of her face or cupping her cheek when it gets flushed. Willing myself not to mess up my brotherhood with her brothers.
On top of it all, I still have Christmas presents to buy.
With a tired sigh, I drag myself out of bed and to the shower to wake up, my muscles tense and heavy. I need to relax. I need a release because all of this tension is killing me.
Hot water pounds against the back of my head as I stand under the stream, the roar of it filling my ears. I should find peace in a quiet morning all alone, but all I can think about is how nice it would be to have Emma here with me.
I close my eyes as I feel the ghost of her touch on my back. Her gentle hands and her red and white themed nails. Her soft breath on the back of my neck and then my ear.
“Max…”
My jaw tenses as I hear her voice of desperation. Of need. I start to harden just at the sound, heat burning low and intensely within me.
“Please…”
Desire claws through me, ripping away my sense of control and my common sense on top of that. I wish she was here to help me relax, to take my mind off things like she did when we went to the ice skating rink.
Unable to stop myself, I wrap my fingers around my hardening erection and start stroking myself, letting a fantasy of my own making unfold in my head. A fantasy that I can never make reality.
“Fuck,” I whisper as the water continues pounding down on the back of my head.
I feel her hands slide over my shoulders and chest, her fingertips tracing the grooves of my muscles. She moves lower over my abdomen, her lips fluttering against the back of my shoulder.
I feel her everywhere.
My breathing quickens as I pump myself faster, every muscle in my body tensing as I shuttle closer to the edge. Just the thought of her drives me crazy, but picturing her hand replacing mine as she whispers please in my ear nearly takes me out.
I want her so damn bad it aches, and I just want some relief.
“Em,” I grit out as I thrust into my own fist, my cock growing even harder.
It only takes a few more strokes to make me spill all over my fist, all of the air leaving my lungs. My head spins as the intensity hits me like a train, dizzying me for a moment and forcing me to place a hand on the shower wall.
I lift my head out of the water with a faint gasp, heat gradually ebbing away to leave me cold and guilty. Why the fuck did I do that? Why can’t I get a handle on myself?
It’s not just a crush anymore. It’s obsession. Need. And the more I try to push it away, the more it digs in. I can’t be alone with these feelings—not when I’m seeing her nearly every day, laughing with her, getting tiny pieces of the life I keep imagining but can never have.
It’s hard enough acting unaffected around her, but I can’t even get my shit together when I’m not around her.
Disappointment looms over me as I get through the rest of my shower and dry off, water glistening in the short strands of my hair. I pitch a quick look over at my phone on the bathroom counter when it buzzes, my stomach dropping at the sight of Ethan’s name on the screen.
Oh, fuck. Did he somehow know what I was doing in the shower? Why the hell is he calling me so early?
Panic pierces me like a blade, making my heart pound relentlessly as I grab my phone. My thumb hovers over the answer button, uneasiness churning within me. Part of me doesn’t even want to answer.
“Fuck it,” I mutter before hitting the answer button and putting the call on speaker. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Hey, man. What are you up to?” Ethan asks.
My eyes shift to the shower as shame rains down on me. He doesn’t want to know. “Just getting ready for the day.”
“Are you busy tonight? I know it’s kind of last minute, but I snagged some good tickets for the hockey game. Want to come?”
I exhale in relief. Everything is fine. Besides the part of me being hooked on his little sister. “Yeah, that sounds great. I think I need to get out and have some fun.”
“Hell yeah, man. I’ll send you the details.”
“Sounds good. Thanks,” I say, telling him goodbye before hanging up.
Sure, it’ll be a little awkward on my end to hang out with him after how I’ve been feeling about his sister, but this is a good thing. I need to get out and do normal things, and I like watching sports. The stats and the stakes interest me.
Now I just need to remember what’s at stake if I act on my growing feelings for Emma.
~*~
Madison Square Garden is packed with Rangers fans as I arrive and get in the long line, waiting what feels like an hour just to get through security.
As crazy as it is, I actually feel pretty relaxed. I get to hang out with one of my best friends and watch a good hockey match, which will definitely take my mind off other things. This is exactly what I need.
I shuffle through the line and head to my seat, climbing down the steps to my row, only to freeze in place at the sight of Emma sitting next to Ethan. No way. Is this some sort of cruel joke?
Emma laughs at something Ethan says before looking up and spotting me. She smiles at me and waves. “You’re here!”
Ethan waves me over and motions to the spot next to Emma. “That’s your seat.”
Of course, she’s here. And of course, I have to sit right next to her.
The universe must hate me—or maybe it’s trying to test how long I can hold out before I ruin everything.
But as wary as her presence makes me, there’s a way bigger part of me that’s ecstatic to see her.
My heart races as I sit down next to her, the outside of her leg pressing against mine as we huddle close between other people.
“I’m sure you guys are probably sick of seeing each other because you work together, but I had an extra ticket that no one else would take,” Ethan says as he leans forward a little to look at me.
“I had nothing going on,” Emma replies with a shrug. “And this is kind of close to watching people ice skate.”
I can’t help but smile, remembering the time we spent together at the ice rink. Our own little memory that we have just to ourselves. “It’s still good to see you. Can’t let seats this good go to waste.”
“Right? A guy I know hooked me up,” Ethan says with a pleased grin on his face. “I think we’re going to win this game. Have you seen the predictions?”
As Ethan and I chat about player stats and score predictions, Emma runs her fingers through her hair and crosses her legs as she watches the players practice and warm up on the ice, intrigue lining her features. She shifts in her seat, her ankle brushing my leg.
I stumble over my words, heat traveling through my body. My eyes briefly meet Emma’s, and when she smiles at me apologetically, I force myself to look away instead of kissing her on the spot.
Something about how she gazes at me with her kind eyes and enticing lips makes her so damn inviting. Like she’s silently begging me to kiss her.
It takes everything in me not to act on that, especially when she looks so good today in a loose hockey jersey and leggings.
When the game starts, I think that I’m in the clear, putting all of my focus on the players zipping back and forth across the ice. The puck zig zags between the players as they slam into each other, shouts and cheers echoing from the crowd all around us.
I even get through the first intermission because Ethan and I rave over an amazing last-second goal, but when the second intermission comes around and my throat is sore from shouting, my luck starts to run out.
“I’m going to get something to drink,” I say as I get to my feet.
“Mind if I tag along? I’m starving,” Emma asks as she gazes up at me.
I expect Ethan to volunteer to go too, but he’s too engrossed in the stats that he’s looking at on his phone. “Yeah, of course.”
Emma smiles and stands, following me up the stairs to the nearest area where there are concession stands. She shifts closer to my side as a bunch of other people crowd the area to get in line. “I guess they had the same idea as us.”
“No kidding,” I mutter as a group of college guys push past us without a care in the world. My jaw tightens in annoyance as I put my arm around Emma’s shoulders, pulling her against me so that she doesn’t get knocked to the side.
Emma wraps her arm around my back, anchoring herself to me as I step back to the nearest wall, letting a huge family walk past. She looks up at me with a glint of amusement in her eyes. “The game might be over before we get our concessions.”
A light chuckle rumbles in my chest as we huddle together against the wall. “Maybe we should just wait until after the game. I’m sure Ethan will want to get something to eat.”
Emma nods in agreement. “Yeah, I guess we should go back to our seats.”
Yet, we don’t move. We stand there gazing at each other, becoming shadows on the wall as everyone else passes us by. Not knowing what’s at stake. Not knowing the possible consequences that’ll come if I act on my thoughts.
“I was trying to get you off my mind this weekend, but it looks like that isn’t going to happen,” I tell her, the words breaking free from my mind before I can stop them.
A pink flush adorns her cheeks as she peers up at me through her lashes. “I don’t think that I can be sorry for that.”
She’s definitely going to be the death of me.
I shouldn’t. Ethan is just a few rows away. This is dangerous—reckless—but she’s looking at me like I’m the only one in the world. And I’m so damn tired of pretending I don’t want her.
Before I can even take a breath and think about what the hell I’m doing, I lean down and press my lips against hers, hearing her breath hitch. A soft gasp escapes her lips, and it’s the sexiest sound that has ever met my ears.
Emma places her hand on my chest as she turns toward me, our kiss deepening as our mouths perfectly slot together.
My fingers brush through her hair as the smell of her intoxicating perfume floods my senses. Kissing her is like coming up for air. Sweet relief.
Until reality hits.
The crowd cheers as the last period of the game starts, startling us enough to make us break apart. Our eyes widen in realization. We really did that.
No, I did that. I kissed her.
What if Ethan had seen?
Emma’s face reddens more as she looks away from me, seeming as flustered as I feel on the inside. “We should head back. Don’t want to miss the end.”
Before I can even nod, she turns and hurries back to our seats, leaving me there stunned and reeling from that incredible kiss. That potentially friendship-ending mistake.
I fucked up. Bad. I kissed her. I touched something I was never supposed to reach for. And now that I’ve had it—her—I don’t know how I’m going to go back to pretending. Worse, I don’t know if I want to.